Sunday, October 21, 2012

Story: First Week of Winter (Update Complete!)


[Crossover] [Grimdark]

Author: Relaxing Dragon
Description: Twilight and company are sent by Princess Celestia to check up on an old student of hers who hasn’t been heard from in a while. Heading out to a remote part of Equestria, the girls arrive to find an ancient and unknown horror, one that’s just about ready to be unleashed…

First Week of Winter: Prologue
First Week of Winter: Chapter 1

First Week of Winter: Chapter 2
First Week of Winter: Chapter 3
First Week of Winter: Chapter 4
First Week of Winter: Chapter 5
First Week of Winter: Chapter 6
First Week of Winter: Chapter 7
First Week of Winter: Chapter 8
First Week of Winter: Chapter 9
First Week of Winter: Chapter 10
First Week of Winter: Chapter 11 (New!)
First Week of Winter: Epilogue (New!)

First Week of Winter (Alternate)

Additional Tags: Apocalypse Trilogy, Paranoia, Isolation, Dreams, Stormy Weather

75 comments:

ndrazzar said...

dunno why but i never read grimdark... maybe ill give it a shot since its crossover

TotalOverflow said...

Is this a The Thing crossover?

Jelfes said...

Well, I never read any of the Apocalypse trilogy. I hope this one doesn't require any previous knowledge of it.

Rainbow Dash said...

Don't write useless comments on stories you nave not even read!

Gypsy said...

is this The Thing? lulz

OtterMatt said...

Eh, from the title and description, I almost get shades of Narnia's White Witch. Still, I avoid almost all crossover like communicable illness...

TSK said...

@TotalOverflow

I was wondering the same thing, the art definitely points in that direction.

Ezio Clarke said...

a Crossover... but from what?

Vimbert the Unimpressive said...

I remember this story. ...Huh, somehow I never realized it was a crossover.

TheBlackBaron said...

The Thing, huh? Interesting.

RelaxingDragon1 said...

Quick note from the author: Yes, this will go into a crossover with The Thing, along with Prince of Darkness and In the Mouth of Madness (hence the Apocalypse Trilogy tag). It's more a general concept crossover, since I'll be melding things from all three movies together into something different.

Mind you, I'm putting all this down here in a comment because it's not too critical to know all this. You will need no prior knowledge of any of the movies before reading.

Jelfes said...

@RelaxingDragon1 Well, now I feel stupid for initially thinking it was a book. Glad you made it so no prior knowledge is required, I like it so far.

NoMoreSanity said...

Huh, I was just wondering with a friend when a Thing/Ponies cross-over will be made. Good shoot author for being original!

FreemanPontifex said...

For a minute I thought this might be a Game of Thrones crossover and I almost died with excitement.

paleoprints said...

I demand three things.

1) Someone is killed with a bicycle.
2) Someone's favorite color is blue.
3) Someone will get TIED TO THAT BUCKING COUCH.

I've very excited for this.

The Commander said...

JOHN. CARPENTER. PONIES.

OHMYGOSHOMYGOSHOHMYGOSH

paleoprints said...

Yay! Luna reads Sutter Cane!

The Commander said...

I'm really happy to see that so many of my fellow bronies have also seen The Thing, Prince of Darkness, and Mouth of Madness...

I need to watch Mouth of Madness some time, I've only seen half.

So far, I love the story, especially your descriptions as well as:

1. Sugar Cane
2. "Hawks"
3. The Nightmare

Seriously, that burning Library nightmare was perrrfeecccttt!

Can't wait for moar!

Warden said...

@RelaxingDragon1
I've read the prologue already, and so far it seems interesting enough to warrant reading the first chapter. I'll add it to my list.
If it's just a general concept crossover with various sources you probably don't need the tag. Unless of course you're intending on putting cameos/really obvious references in. Of course, I've never read/seen any of the crossover ideas in the comments so far, so I wouldn't know them anyways.

blitzthedragon said...

@The Commander

All that was missing was the creepy-ass static-laden voice.

"This is not a dream. This is not a dream. You are receiving a broadcast from the future year of one nine nine nine. You must alter the course of events to change the future. Our technology is not advanced enough to broadcast to your conscience."

klstixbro said...

Holy crap a "the thing" crossover??? Considering that that is the scariest movie I have seen in my entire life (I saw it a few years ago and still I am frightened to death of that movie) this outta be interesting.....

Dusty the Royal Janitor said...

This is the... third? crossover I've seen with the Thing?

There were at least two others on FIM Fiction. One where it landed on Applejack's farm and infected Apple Bloom and Winona and another that I didn't bother to read.

Damn... I can't seem to locate them to give links though. There's too many dark stories to sort through...

Anyway, while John Carpenter's "The Thing" is an awesome horror movie, from my experience with that first fanfic I don't think I'll be partaking...

Ted Wakeman said...

Oh my God, is that image a parody of THE THING?


That alone makes me want to read this, xD

Armando92 said...

@Dusty the Royal Janitor

at least names? i want to read those XD

MegaPatron said...

OOH! the thing crossover?! Im gona like this :)

Present Perfect said...

This thrills with excellent writing and a very believable setup, not to mention great atmosphere, both tonally and, well, atmospherically. :) Ponies in a snowstorm! I'm very much looking forward to chapter 2!

Also, to everyone going "JOHN CARPENTER OOH" I would direct you towards the original, "The Thing from Another Planet". They don't make movies like that anymore. :)

cheezesauce said...

Ooo the premise sounds interesting...

I like how you added in lots of description. Descriptive horror stories r awesome. But i find the pace a tiny bit too slow at the moment

Denegoth said...

I skimmed over Equestria Daily today before heading to the cinema to see The Thing with my dad today.

I get back and see this posted.

Huh.

MegaPatron said...

"Folks around here call me Hawks" OH YOU SMART PERSON YOU <3

Dragryphon said...

Holy crap! A The Thing crossover! You, my sir, have my full and undivided attention. This is my favorite movie, and I was planning on doing a crossover for it, myself. Let's see if your story can live up to my expectations!

-Your Eternal and beloved Queen, NightmareMoon

DPV111 said...

@Denegoth

Do your self a favor and watch the John Carpenter version.
The new one is basically a Dead Space rip off.

Denegoth said...

@DPV111

Seen it, and absolutely love it. I did like the new one, but it was severely lacking in the practical gross-out effects department. Damn CGI.

mcpaterson said...

A the Thing crossover? That gave me nightmares as a kid.......I wanna read it.

Sai said...

GOOD stuff, hey, if the creature already lose, have one of copper star asistant or herself destroying the truck fearing the monster might use it to go to civilization

Rex Ivan said...

As a fan, I feel obligated put my say in here.

For those of you who have only seen the 2011 movie, PLEASE do yourself a favor and watch the 1982 movie. In fact, if you are so inclined, you can read the novella on which it was based. It is public domain so you aren't breaking any laws. http://www.outpost31.com/books/who.txt

And yes, for those who are OLD school, "the thing from another world" was a pretty good movie too.

Nova25 said...

Apocalyptic Grimdark... Again ?
This formula is starting to look old.

WatermelonRat said...

Damn, I still have nightmares of that dog scene, and now I'm imagining it happening to Fluttershy.

bonkai2010 said...

Can't wait for chapter 2 i love The Thing

Josh Brafman said...

Expertly written. Dialogue flows naturally, and the imagery you convey in the writing is pitch perfect. It really feels like this could be a legitimate episode of some kind. I am enthralled with this story so far, and I wait with bated breath for part 2! (Incidentally, this is the first fic I have ever read for MLP, and this is the standard I'm setting for all other fics I read [or perhaps write]) Keep up the excellent work!

Matoro said...

I enjoy the story. I find this to be very well written in balance of description and dialog. I also praise that it doesn't really alter the true MLP storyline/characters, but adds more to the MLP universe by keeping it safe by adding a new district in Equestria. It has a slight tension of "grimdark" detail to keep the reader at the edge of their seat which fits perfectly within the theme for the mane 6 has to deal with. The part about Pinkie Pie reading books, question and concerns me a little bit, but probably in future chapters, I bet you'll mention at some point the meaning of Pinkie Pie's odd behavior. I am really looking forward to chapter 2! Keep up the good work! :D

Katon said...

Increible, estare atento a leer ese siguiente capitulo.

paleoprints said...

"If I was an imitation chicken, a perfect imitation chicken, how would you know it was really me?"

The CMC just makes things more horrible. Soon, Pinke will be ready her novels like they're the guidebooks....

Twifight Sparkill said...

I love it! Very woohoo worthy! Mm, Carpenter and ponies ... Sparkill approves! /)^3^(\

TheBlackBaron said...

Hmm...I'll confess to not being as familiar with Prince of Darkness or In The Mouth of Madness as I am with The Thing. Mind you, that's a good thing, since I can now be surprised at the twists this is going to take.

Poor Scoots. Whatever just happened to her, it ain't good, and it probably can't be fixed. In other news, the sky is blue.

Present Perfect said...

Good to know this is still progressing! Hope you don't mind a ton of edits, it just kind of happened! D:

"and made of a thick limestone": missing 'was'

I think Applejack means "homey", not homely.

"It's just grand pile": missing 'a'

Err, you spell it 'Hawkes' at one point.

OH NO THEY DIDN'T! XD Well, I was not expecting that at all! The levity isn't even unwelcome, as oppressively atmospheric as this is. (Greatest strength so far, by the way.) Keeps it pony. :) Also means the stakes have just been raised.

Ooh. So that was creepy as hell. :D

Missing a period after "Rarity sighed".

"Is the door okay" isn't indented. I blame Google docs.

"others she had never seen anymore": 'anymore' isn't the right word. You can just take it out and have the sentence be fine.

The "Fluttershy ignored Twilight" paragraph isn't indented either. Oh man, idle hooves are Nightmare Moon's workshop here. D:

There's an "obsitcle". It's not the text of her notes, but what Twilight's reading, so it shouldn't be intentional.

Oh, of course they're going to try!

"she'd done for the last few years": I think that's supposed to be 'gone'.

Oh no! D: Please tell me she'll be okay after all of this. ;_;

"They'll be time for that": There'll

"Wasn't she with you" is missing an indent.

Well, I am now chilled to the bone. This story is just great!

RelaxingDragon1 said...

Aaargh, the little mistakes. After three drafts and two peer reviews I thought I caught them all. Clearly I was wrong (though in my defense, the indenting thing is a GoogleDocs problem, since it's fine in the Word version). I'll tighten those up.

And yes! I am still continuing, I'm just very slow and lazy. Hoping to get the next chapter finished and ready for reviewing before the end of next week.

RelaxingDragon1 said...

@Present Perfect

And also thank you! Both for the nitpicks and the support, very glad you're liking things so far. How long it'll last, I have no idea :P

ketchup504 said...

This hasn't been updated in a while.

RelaxingDragon1 said...

@ketchup504

Formerly true, but here's a new chapter today! Will it make up for the staggering delay? Of course not, but it's still a new chapter.

Sahaquiel said...

A very well written story, extremely good atmosphere, I like that the horror isn't rushed into but the story crosses over into it at a glacial pace, taking its time to build up the atmosphere. I was wondering how you'd get the inhuman aspect of The Thing across and you did it very well, Scootaloo was described like an eldritch horror from Ry'leh, something completely and utterly unhuman or unequine, I look forward to seeing the next chapter

Twifight Sparkill said...

Yikes! Gruesome! I can't believe that Spike... well, no spoilers. Now we've got some action! Great to see an update, can't wait for more! ^_^

GloomyFace said...

Wow, this is really good, I read it all in one afternoon. You are really good in building suspense, I expected 'the thing' to appear in some scenes before it actually appeared.

I eagerly await the next chapter :)

Present Perfect said...

Picking up where I left off. :) Pinkie reads pulp horror? I find that terribly amusing.

Ooh, and now things get sticky... So I guess the question is, if nopony comes up missing soon, who's the creature? Or the new creature?

"The handle part" AUGH dat reference!

"Fluttershy asked nervously": she's not actually asking anything here. Just bothered me is all.

The mystery over Copper's lack of showing up is really intriguing. It's helping to keep things moving along.

Ooh, and now things get more tense as they have reason to fear.

"is ju rambling"

"Rarity" Spike said": missing a comma

Oh dear . @_@

OH MY GOD D: Now I scared.

GOOD FREAKING GRAVY D: DO NOT WANT DO NOT WANT

"Collapsed a completely unrecognizable": missing' into'.

AHH SHIT why ;_; I forgot this was grimdark. I get the feeling this isn't going to be a terribly long fic, all told, but it remains excellent. You went from suspenseful horror to full-on eldritch wtf horror and didn't lose anything.

GloomyFace said...

This doesn't deserve anything less than Star-5... who is giving these labels ;s

RelaxingDragon1 said...

@Present Perfect

As per usual your enthusiasm flatters me. And yeah, I figured it was time to earn that particular tag.

Of course, the fun is only just beginning ;)

Sahaquiel said...

Nice chapter, it'll be interesting to see whose infected, I've got my own theory and every time two of the group are on their own things get incredibly tense, looking forward to reading more, keep up the good work

GloomyFace said...

Rarity and AJ are my prime suspects of being infected, but I can't tell which one it is.
Twilight is definitely not infected, because she wants to find a way to identify the Thing (also, I dont think that the Thing would waste energy on crying while being alone the lab), plus she was alone with Fluttershy and nothing happened between them, which also strikes Fluttershy off from my suspect list.
Neither Rainbow Dash or Sweetie are infected, because of the 'kitchen scene' - they were alone in the room and nothing really happened.
I also don't think that Apple Bloom is infected, because the CMC were together all the time(I guess?) and the monster couldnt freely infect her without being caught red handed by Sweetie.

Jagafeh said...

              "  Sweetie Belle slowly trotted to the sink. She levitated a glass under the tap and started filling it."
When did Sweetie start using magic? I think we may have a suspect.

Jagafeh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RelaxingDragon1 said...

@Jagafeh

She started using it right when I made the mistake of typing it, and she stopped when I went back and fixed that error :P

Present Perfect said...

Er, did you actually mean "her eyes gazed" instead of 'glazed'?

Playing Applejack off Twilight is working really well in this. So tense!

Rarity's self-confidence is rather surprising.

I like that Pinkie's coping method is baking.

Dahh, this is terrible! I know that there's still a creature on the loose, because Scootaloo got to someone, but you've been very good at keeping us from knowing who! Let's think about this... It's never been a POV character, except for the one scene post Scootaloo's infection -- when it was obvious she'd been infected -- where the narration was far more detached, centered on Scootaloo rather than in her. So it's not AJ, Rainbow Dash or Twilight. They're obviously becoming the leaders here. My guess is it's Pinkie, though it's equally possible it's Fluttershy or one of the fillies, probably Apple Bloom. So if it's Sweetie or Rarity, I totally will not see it coming, except that I'm expecting it and YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME. @_@

Gavin said...

damn. I think its fluttershy, she has been hanging around the infected rats...

Jagafeh said...

Despite the mistyping I still called it. :)

CD101 said...

I just read the 5th update. This stuff is absolutely astonishing. Moreover, it makes perfect sense that *self-censored* would be the one who was infected. Heartbreaking but logical.

InvaderRik said...

Awesome, just awesome. So good I wait 'til night to read each new chapter.

Present Perfect said...

So excited to see another chapter of this!

Somehow, ponies using crowbars seems very strange. And Rainbow Dash demonstrates why!

Oh god, I hope Pinkie isn't the next monster. D:

Okay, "ain't you think" isn't grammatically correct, even for Applejack. :B

Oh, no, I'm pretty sure it's Rarity. Or Applejack. Definitely Rarity or Applejack.

Oh. Shit. D: Goddammit.

Twifight Sparkill said...

Is this on FiMFiction? It totally should be! WOO! Excellent graphic horror!

Yeah, I'm a grim girl. ^_^;

AnimeGeek said...

This is amazing. But on a sidenote, I don't need sleep tonight anyways.

GloomyFace said...

Actually, FWW is posted on FIMFiction.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/19504/First-Week-of-Winter

Present Perfect said...

Oh dear, and I just remembered what happened last time. D: Will these ponies ever find peace?

Oh shit. D: My god, this is horrifying as fuck.

Of course Pinkie knows plastic explosives.

Oh my god, losing two ponies in one chapter. D: You fiend.

Seriously, not since the Cough have I read a fic this dark and wanted to keep reading.

And now things break down...

Rainbow Dash's rant is fantastic. The driving force behind this story has always been how they react to everything. Granted, none of them have really reacted to Rarity or Sweetie's deaths. Still, I'm waiting for her to snap and do something stupid now.

Oh, there we go! She's like... claustrophobic or having cabin fever or something.

It's bleedin' time! :V Man, you're very antagonizingly good at withhold information. SOMEPONY knows what's going on and they're not saying anything!

Alondro said...

@Present Perfect *sighs* They're all going to die... might as well get this over with... *transports himself into the lab with a Tommy gun and mows down all the remaining ponies, then detonates an antimatter bomb in the core of the planet for good measure* That's that! One more twisted pony world destroyed. *washes hands of the messy affair and moves on to the next grimdark world marked for 'cleansing'* >:3

H8erfistenator said...

Jesus christ the suspense is killing me! you are a master of plot twisting! i simply dont know who to suspect anymore.. Really well done my man! i look forward to the next chapter

Brandis said...

Awesome. I really enjoyed all the twists and turns until the very end. Very haunting story.

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