Description: Twilight is not where she should be. Nor who she should be. Can friendship really transcend memories?
Oooh, sounds a lot like some of the things I used to think about. Will read.
Twilight looks so sad in this fic. =(
hey... firefox is leaking again. D=anyways, short story? we'll see...
hey... why did someone go give this a one? from what i've read it's at least a 3.
The power of friendship will trump everything, even false memories. Of course, they could have been friends from the start if she had just asked, there's no need for "that" to have happened.-post made intentionally vague on purpose-Trixie needs a redemption episode eventually. If it happened in season 2, it would be awesome but I won't hold my breath. By season 3 definitely.
Huh. Not bad. A little easy to win everypony over (Trixie included), but given its nature as a one-shot, that's just fine.
Good premise, good spelling/grammar, but way too fast. It just screamed rushed to me.
hehe. Not exactly a halloweeny story, but still a foot stompingly good tale.
I really like the concept of this story, and the author did an excellent job capturing the personalities of all the characters. The rushed feeling of the ending can be forgiven, considering how much had to be done after the climax, with no way of doing any of it beforehand. Also, Trixie's backstory felt a bit too pat and cliched, though not so much as to do serious harm to the rest of the story. I noticed quite a few basic grammar/spelling/punctuation errors, so the story would've benefited from another set of eyes going over it. Probably the best praise I can give this story is that I could see it being an episode. Well worth reading, regardless of how you feel about Trixie.
I think there was a solid idea here, and for a one-shot it's still pretty decent, but I think the execution here was shaky. I noticed a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes and some repeated lines (e.g. “Me too,” Dash zipped in from out of nowhere startling everyone as she looked at Twilight, “I can't explain it, but, when I saw you, I felt something. Something I can't explain.”), and it felt like the rest of the mane six were too quick to believe Twilight's story and to turn on Trixie, then turn around again and help her. All in all, it definitely felt like the resolution was rushed.Right now? I give it a 2/5, but with some revision this could easily be a 4/5.
6 stars for you sir!
Nice story. Enjoyed it.
I think Seth accidentally the page break again...Anyways, I shall place this on my "to-read" list, though from the comments, sounds like it's a good read! :)
This story is an excellent start to Trixie's redemption... and it would make for a great show.Well-written!
Short story?(Opens the document)............ This is not a short story.
@Specter Von Barenyeah... 8500ish words isn't long... but it's not what we think of when we think short.
Silly me, I thought from the title that it might involve Caramel. Still liked it though.
My favorite stories are the ones that read like an actual episode of the show. This one nails that feeling. The characters' personalities and motivations are spot on. It's everything I would have hoped for in a Trixie revenge/redemption story. Fantastic!
I wanna see this audio-fied. It deserved audio-fieing
you know what? This was enjoyable and I think a pop up epilogue would not be a bad thing to have for this. Well, come on man! Good Work
Stories like this are among my favorites, and it read much like an episode- a great idea whose quality is slightly but forgivably hurt by the brevity. 5 Stars after all things are considered.
Good grammar, spelling, style, and content.4/5 easy.Felt a bit dissatisfied with the ending, mainly because I'm not sure if it was Trixie or Twilight . . .
Also, I don't get the title.
@SebialeThe reason for the ambiguous ending was simply because it could be interpreted either way. Twilight and Trixie are not as different as they think.As for the title, it's supposed to be a play on the adage 'walk a mile in another mans shoes'.
Really? That many people though this was "good grammar?" Suddenly, a lot of the voting around here is beginning to make sense.Not a bad concept, but the spelling/grammar issues were a distraction.
Ah, this. I reviewed it over on Ponychan, but your claiming post was pretty old by the time I got there.To be honest, I'm really surprised this got on here. There are a lot of very distracting grammar and spelling errors, and many of the comments above mirror some of my own concerns about the plot.If you still want to check out my review, here's a link: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/60683.html#62071
Definitely a feasible episode if Studio B ever wanted to bring Trixie into a recurring role, I liked it!
I feel like this could have benefited from being a multi-parter, maybe expanding on Twilight's experiences while living as Trixie, and vice versa. A lot of people seem to have issues with the grammar, but I'd need to read it again to spot anything. As it stands, I reckon it's worth four stars. Good concept, rushed execution.
I can probably guess what happens from the tags...
@eznponyI saw your review and I want you to know I tried to fix all the spelling and grammatical errors just now and I'll fix it in the Google Docs soon.The are parts where the story is lacking, I look back on it now and see those holes and I plan to fill them soon if I can. To be clear, this story was originally written in one week for a contest with a limit of fifteen pages. As such I was rushed to get it out and had to trim parts to make it fit. Now that I have room to 'stretch myself' as it were, I'll see about revising it, I've just been so eager to get it on EQD I've been submitting a new copy with every revision. Guess this one finally made it even if the story isn't at it's best.All the same I want it understood I do take critiques very seriously and this was my VERY FIRST story that required high standards to submit. As such I've been doing my best to live up to those standards. As you can no doubt tell, it hasn't been easy.
I enjoyed it... It's a great, if familiar, premise and as others have said it's handled in a manner that is very consistent with the show itself. My biggest complaint would be that it could have been expanded... Really, the payoff of the entire idea is the chance to see Twilight interact with her former friends and win them back. I liked what was there, but I would have enjoyed much more of it.
The idea behind this story is pretty good. Trixie is jealous of Twilight because she has everything Trixie hasn’t. So she used a spell that allows her to switch lives. Now Trixie is Celestials most faithful and loyal student while Twilight is only known as a bragging showmare. However Trixie still acts like Trixie even toward the rest of the Mane Six and realize that there’s something wrong. So her perfect plan collapses. The irony is that Trixie failed to understand that Twilight “earned” her live by being a good friend and threat others with respect. Something Trixie obviously didn’t get. This could have been a 4 or even 5 stars fic. However the story feels rushed, especially the part where Twilight arrives in Ponyville. She talks with her friends for about five minutes and that’s enough for everypony to notice that there’s something wrong. And Twilight doesn’t even try anything because she thinks it’s pointless. Sure I understand the situation she’s in but at least have her try something instead of accepting everything. At least she could’ve tried to persuade Applejack that she’s her real friend and not Trixie. It could’ve failed and therefore discourage Twilight to try it again with her other friends. That would’ve made a lot more sense than her doing nothing.Then after she confronts Trixie she just gives up. Is that really the first thing Twilight would do? Give up her whole live just because of a single spell. I think Twilight wouldn’t run away. She would try to come up with a way to fix everything. Books or not. So in the end it’s a good story which lacks some polishing. Therefore it gets “only” 3 stars from me.
Man... and trading places fics are usually one of my soft spots.It was just so brief and fleeting... not enough build-up and not enough payoff.I think you've got a solid concept and even the pieces to go with it... but this ended coming across as a bit of a rush job. I have to agree with some of the comments... surrender comes far too easily... for both.So, yeah, solid concept, shaky execution. (and hopefully I'm not doing a pile job here)
Bit to much of a quick switch between "selfish Trixie" and "remorseful Trixie". She doesn't seem to care at all what she is doing to Twilight (which is questionable in itself, but its your version of Trixie), so why suddenly the breakdown? If she was that desperate for a new life wouldn't there be a bit of guild as well for stealing Twilights?I don't lknow, it bothers me a little for some reason. Also, a huge gap between when Twilight talks to her after they return to normal and when she visits her parents I presume? Otherwise its a bit hard to take. You can't really see her return to her parents like that, so I just assume a lot has happened in the meantime. There needs to be some sort of attempt at reconciliation, mostly coming from her parents I reckon.Other then that though, I enjoyed the story. I was slightly disappointed when Trixie admitted she was behind it, although with the crystals it was not surprising. At the time I felt the story could have been more if a third party had been involved, operating without the knowledge of the two unicorn mares. Still, that would have provided problems of its own, and its not my story :)All in all a good read, glad I read it. other then that though, I found the story enjoyable enough.
I dunno, I enjoyed it just fine the way it is personally. (Regardless of the grammer mistakes, and such.) They kinda made it to obvious who the "villain" was at the beginning, but I still liked how it was handled.I kinda liked how it starts off putting the reader in Twilight's horseshoes, leaving you wondering what happened, and it kinda starts off with a "Twilight Zone" vibe. It also gets pretty emotional, and a bit sad to when Twilight runs into her friends making the ending a li'l better to, because she had to suffer a bit. I felt Trixie's backstory was a li'l to melodramatic, but it wasn't to bad compared to some fics.While some feel the story is "rushed," (some parts were, I admit) but I think the fact it's more "straight to the point," rather then go on for paragraphs, and paragraphs describing only one thing is a nice change of pace from most fanfics.I also liked the li'l moral at the end, and that seemed pretty suiting for the show.
The worst, most predictable, most logical, and unescapable part is that Trixie DIDN'T or perhaps REFUSED to recognize why her own life had gone down in flames around her, and the new life she had pack-ratted for herself would have fallen apart around her for the same reasons. It would have been only a matter of time before she had lost the friends she had twisted fate itself to have. I know Trixie is supposed to be the VILLAIN here, and what she does here places her head and shoulders above of the nastiness she did in the cartoon. But effectively getting a second chance and ruining that too? That's called a tragedy.“Trixie, you're lying,”Or rather, Trixie that's what Trixie's own memories tell her. Memories can lie, and Trixie wants to feel like the victim as much as possible, so of course she'd remember that oppose to Twilight not hurting her.“Whoa, what just happened?” Spike asked looking a little woozy, “And who's Ferocious?”I don't recall the narrative saying he was there.crying like Twilight had been not too long ago.And unlike Twilight, no one to comfort her, and it's her own damn fault. So why do I still feel sorry for such a selfish pony?Trixie can be given another chance to take the entrance exam for Celestias school.I know that's meant to be an act of kindness. But it reminds me of the magic kindergarden fear of Twilight's being a mare in a class full of fillies.