Description: With the time she has left, Rainbow seeks what is truly important in life before moving on.
I may read this.
sooooo.....Dash has Equine AIDS? Well this oughta be a pick-me-upper!(or to be scientifically accurate - Equine Infectious Anemia. Google rox!)Whelp, that's what happens when you have unprotected sex w/ Pinkie Pie. Stupid smutty party pony...
- Dark- Sad- ShippingThree tags I usually try to keep away as far as possibly.Yet...I might actually read this one. It seems....intresting
Dark, Sad, Shipping?now, all it needs is adventure and it'll be a ship fic i've been looking for.
Dark and sad?NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPEIm gonna read it anyway arn't I...
@mycutiemarkisagunI heard Dashie was also sharing liquid rainbow needles w/ Berry Punch. That couldn't have helped matters.
Image is misleading. The fic is TwiDash, not DerpyDash as the image suggests.
Saw the Picture ... had a heart attack! Then I read the comment's. That picture is misleading, though I MAY read the fic (I usually stay away from dark)
So far, this fic is off to a very good start. I don't think I've read anything quite of this nature before, and it definitely is an interesting topic.I'm anxious to read the next chapter.
@Blue AceWell, the story is at it's very early stages. You never know what's in store. But if isn't what I expect it to be then the image would in fact be quite misleading.
We really need to add some sort of who's shipped with who system to shipping stories...
I like the tagging system here, makes it really easy to avoid certain fics...
@CasperYeah it would help me to figure out in which folder to bookmark certain fics. :D(Yes I have an MLP shipping fan-fic folder with several sub-folders... -_-' )
SPOILER ALERT:This is a potential Bittersweet, a la Rainbow Dash. And TwiDash, supposedly.
Lotta bad shit seems to happen to Dash, yo. If she's not fighting an epic battle for the sake of Equestria or breaking a wing, she's dying of one disease or another lol. Life must be hard when you're quite possibly the single most popular pony =P.
Egh... Dark, Sad, and Shipping... My three least favorite tags...Yeah, I don't think so...
Liked it. More please! :-)
Suffice to say,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14
I have to say: look at this story once more Thyrai. There are a lot of minor typos and grammar issues which bug me. Those aside, I like it.
This is not going to be a happy one, but it looks like it will be a good one. And it doesn't seem to be HIV/AIDS- that would only be the immune system dying. this seems more like accelerated aging or something similar, maybe a mitochondrial disease. Maybe even an autoimmune disease, where the immune system starts attacking the organs of its own body. But not AIDS.
@KoA Or maybe it's a fictional disease for a fictional story!!!!!!!!!!First 'fic I've read in a long time. I enjoy the grim/dark/sad ones for some reason, and Rainbow is my favourite pony yet she's the one DYING.
what I've read is 4/5, really should be 3/5 cause grammar issues but eh...If the author handles it properly, it could rise to 5/5, but I can see it staying 4/5 for now.
EVERYPONY HAS AIDS!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6szE_qmzavQ
You are a horrible person.I know it's probably gonna be good, but I simply can't stand the thought of RD slowly dying of a fatal disease, so I'm not gonna read it. From what I've seen in the comments, you need to 'up' the grammar level a bit in order to gain more stars.Again, fantastic plot idea, but I want to live till at least Saturday, so I'm avoiding potentially fatal amounts of D'AWWWWW and sad.
@Interrobang Pie Yeah, but being the son of two doctors... I just wanted to say it didn't look like aids, and to suggest possible alternatives.
God I hate waiting for new chapters D:
Well reviewing the comments has not lended me any particular insight to abate my minorly morbid curiousity. I pretty much suspected as much as has been said above, though I had assumed unthinkingly it was DerpyDash With that, I'll go in with an open mind and try to come up with a fair assessment for other would be / won't be readers.
Firstly I'm an amatuer at writing, so I've got nothing particularily clever to say after reading - (how do I not spoil but also criticise at the same time??) Um, don't read the rest if you want to avoid spoilers please?I didn't really notice grammatical errors as there just weren't enough of them to break my momentum, but that's something that is reader specific. I find editing and checking stuff I've written myself as hard as getting the words down, so kudos to you for doing it all on your own.Maybe spent a bit too much time emphasising the pain and suffering in comparison to the emotions. After Twilight is left alone, that entire aspect of the story is only referenced with "The kiss." I'm probably just nitpicking, so don't mind me. I imagine as the next chapters come out, you'll balance it out towards the relationship side of this anyway. Also, Dash being repulsed by affection from another mare? That's inverting an entire meme right there.Er, the the hospital scene went a little quickly for my tastes, don't know if others would agree with me on that point though. She seems to come to awareness of the situation all too quickly, and the reveal, I felt, lacked a little weight for it. It might have done better to pace the scene with her not being told and left to speculate and worry on her own for a bit. Otherwise this comes across as (sorry, I feel I'm being too harsh here) something of a vaguely masochistic story about making Rainbow Dash (I cringed with the reference to That Fic) suffer the maximum amount of agony for the minimum amount of character response instead of the reverse, which I'd rather see. I don't think your aiming to make her suffer pointlessly, but again that could just as well needed to have been emphasised in the first chapter, which would pretty much invalidate what I've just said. Oh, and the throw away line of about get well soon signs could have been played to much stronger, and bitterly ironic effect.I'm trying to be constructive, I'm sorry if I'm getting ahead/full of myself.Otherwise, the story isn't as cringeworthy as I thought it might have been (that's a good thing) because it was definetly the feel coming across that you're not just out to torture Dashie (that's a bad thing).If I can say anything, it's this: When you're thinking out the fic and writing it, really keep yourself sure to balance on the fine line, since this story happens to real people too. Be sure to keep respect to that in mind. I'll definetly read further chapters of this, with trepidation in irrational hope that Rainbow won't die. ((Is it too much to hope that in the magical land of Equestria we might find an exemption from harshness... and save one?))
Dark, sad, and disease.Eeeeee-nope!
question....How is it ok for EqD to post stories about our beloved ponies suffering and dying, but not clopfics? "Not everyone wants that kind of stuff"I would rather hear about clopfic than this horrible crap.Serious hypocricy imo. Either get this junk of EqD or have an "anything goes" policy....unbelievable
@DarwinBirdThe same reason you can have an R rated movie with all the blood and gore you could want, but porn is sold in specialty shops. *shrug*Besides, did you read this? It's not on the level of a Cupcakes or a Rainbow Factory at all, and shouldn't even raise the argument. The story is very PG so far.
@DarwinBird:I think you have enough of a valid case to make me consider what you're saying. I still don't agree, and want to iterate that point in terms of discussion. - crispymwhc - points out that this isn't even the fic to bring that question to a head upon to begin with, and as far as those other fics... I've not read them, so I can't (and don't want to) say.A lot of it I suppose does come down to societal convention - graphically deplorable violence seems passable whereas other things are not. I don't pretend to understand the depths of it, but that's the way things are.Firstly, I for one would feel even more awkward being a brony (I only trust in EqD for my pony) if EqD started allowing for negative stigma's to start having a basis of truth here. Secondly, I seriously doubt that clopfic would be good writing, at all. I really don't understand the sexual appeal in ponies to be honest. And that is what it'd be at the end of the day - instead of biazarre and lovable peripherary demographic / social phenomenon, bronies become stereotyped along an entirely grim path I don't even want to bring up here, but I'm sure you can imagine for yourself the implications.Thirdly, suffering and death is an immutable fact of life, and it's only natural people are going to bring that to what they write. This story isn't horrible crap. Read before judging anything. If you aren't willing to read, as I am with those two mentioned fics above, than reserve your opinions to yourself. To actually get back to addressing the question itself - you'll have to bring that up with those that make the decisions. I for one stand in firm agreement with their decision to keep that kind of thing off of EqD. Anybody wanting that will just have to make do somewhere else.
i dont read many fanfics but this one was amazing :O cant WAIT for part 2
So... Rainbow Dash has Cancer?
@Asalis no because with cancer your not going to positively die she has a phenomenon which would be way more rare then cancer.
@DarwinBird, For one, you can't lump this fic in with the slasherfics. Yes, the [grimdark] tag needs some granularity to it (any tag that would encompass both Sunset and Cupcakes/Rocket to Insanity is in desperate need of granularity), but even so, this isn't [grimdark]. It's [dark] and [sad] because it deals with death, but plenty of films deal with such subjects while staying PG (seriously, the beginning of Up is a great example).Clopfics, however, are something of a different stripe. Like it or not, pornography and violence get very different treatments in our society. And something like EqD is going to reflect that. If you want clopfics, you can go to Equestria After Dark for them. Just like if you want to rent a porno in the video store, you have to go through the blackout curtains they don't let kids past. That's simply the way it is.
@ambionI know this was not addressed to me, and is rather off topic for this fic, but I fell motivated to respond."A lot of it I suppose does come down to societal convention - graphically deplorable violence seems passable whereas other things are not. I don't pretend to understand the depths of it, but that's the way things are."Religion. That's it really. Open sexuality is considered a sin. Sin is an invention of Religion. It's not really fair that in my belief system sex other than rape is not sinful, yet I am having other people's religious beliefs forced upon me via societal conditioning."Firstly, I for one would feel even more awkward being a brony (I only trust in EqD for my pony) if EqD started allowing for negative stigma's to start having a basis of truth here."The meaning of "brony" is mature male pony fan. How is a mature male sexually fantasizing about something they like a negative stigma?"Secondly, I seriously doubt that clopfic would be good writing, at all."Some are written badly, yes. Some are nothing but clop with no story other than a premise. But there are a few (more than you would think) that would easily get 5-6 stars here on EqD. BASED ON THE STORY ALONE, EVEN IF ALL EXPLICIT SCENES WERE EDITED OR REMOVED."I really don't understand the sexual appeal in ponies to be honest."It's freaking ADORABLY CUTE."And that is what it'd be at the end of the day - instead of biazarre and lovable peripherary demographic / social phenomenon, bronies become stereotyped along an entirely grim path I don't even want to bring up here, but I'm sure you can imagine for yourself the implications."So I should pretend to be something I'm not and hide something I am just because people who are not like me would disapprove, label me, stereotype others who are only partially similar to me and possibly harass me and others for our differences?"Thirdly, suffering and death is an immutable fact of life, and it's only natural people are going to bring that to what they write."I do not see how suffering and death are a bigger part of most peoples lives than love and sex."This story isn't horrible crap. Read before judging anything. If you aren't willing to read, as I am with those two mentioned fics above, than reserve your opinions to yourself."You, I, and everyone have the absolute right to make informed decisions on what to read based on our personal preferences.You, I and everyone have absolutely NO right to deny anyone else the same.Saying "I don't like this. Not gonna read it." is not the same as saying "I don't like this, I want to banish it so no one ever reads it.""To actually get back to addressing the question itself - you'll have to bring that up with those that make the decisions. I for one stand in firm agreement with their decision to keep that kind of thing off of EqD."I fully agree. This is Seth's site and he can host any content he wants on it. I partially disagree that this is a "decision" though, considering the restrictions, reactions and attitudes that openly allowing clopfics on EqD would meet with."Anybody wanting that will just have to make do somewhere else."Yes. For now. What I wouldn't give to have EqD's high standards of screening so I wouldn't have to wade through so much crap to find the good ones.
This story started out amazingly well. The description of Dash's race and crash had me on the edge of my seat.Then it kinda came off the rails. Are pony doctors just terrible for some reason? Do they test for sadism in medical school? Does this doctor have some personal grudge against Dash that had led him to be utterly cruel in delivering such terrible news?
@DPV111"I know this was not addressed to me, and is rather off topic for this fic, but I fel[t] motivated to respond"Ditto.In your first argument, you state that "sin" is an invention of religion. Maybe the word itself is, but the acts we consider "sin" are really far more than that. Our sense of "right" and "wrong" stem from a subconscious knowledge of the two, which is called "conscience." What about child porn? Is that acceptable to you? If so, you're in opposition to most of the U.S. populace, including the government.Plus, everyone is religious. Even atheists. If you wanna argue against that, fine, but let me ask you this: what is the difference between believing that there IS a god and believing that there is NO god? None. You still have to BELIEVE something, and that's called "religion." Sorry if your bubble's burst.However, I like your take on the clopfics. Although I've never read them, I can imagine that (minus the REALLY detailed bits) they're just as good as any shipping fics we have here. In my opinion, if they were allowed, they should be thoroughly preread for good content. If they're just trash full of sex, then we can throw them out. If there's a good story, then post it under a separate tag. Like you said, those who dislike such stories need not read them.By the way, suffering is NOT a bigger part of our life, it just happens a lot more often that love and sex do. Death, however, IS bigger. Not everyone experiences love or sex, but I'm pretty sure everyone who ever lived on this planet experienced death. Unless you're a Christian, in which case you believe that 3 people cheated death. If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't bother asking. Go read about it.In the end, it IS Seth's site and I really do agree with him, but not just because I personally think clopfics are horrible. I think keeping clop off of EqD goes way deeper than being biased. It sets a high standard and gives the site a better image. The clopfic genre is generally considered lewd and perverse, so banning it gains the site an element of respect it otherwise wouldn't have. Them's the breaks. If you don't like it, go take it up with the internetz.
@ambion"Secondly, I seriously doubt that clopfic would be good writing, at all."There are some good authors out there, some who even have "clop-lite" fics on EqD. Buttersc0tchSundae and Pacce come to mind."Thirdly, suffering and death is an immutable fact of life, and it's only natural people are going to bring that to what they write."This is what I think gives DarwinBird's argument some merit. You can replace 'suffering and death' in that sentence with 'sex' and it's just as true. The social stigma is different, that's all.Ultimately, I agree with the rules here about R34 and clop heavy stuff, and I understand the reasons those rules are in place. It "classes up the joint". But don't discount that there can be quality writing in clopfiction.Also, again, this story is awesome, I hope more of it comes out soon.
"Plus, everyone is religious. Even atheists. If you wanna argue against that, fine, but let me ask you this: what is the difference between believing that there IS a god and believing that there is NO god? None."Uh. . . No. Then call my hobby not-stamp-collecting. Look up "null hypothesis" on Google. That's atheism.
@CX4Ever"In your first argument, you state that "sin" is an invention of religion. Maybe the word itself is, but the acts we consider "sin" are really far more than that. Our sense of "right" and "wrong" stem from a subconscious knowledge of the two, which is called "conscience." What about child porn? Is that acceptable to you? If so, you're in opposition to most of the U.S. populace, including the government."The difference between sin and conscience is that conscience is based on instinctual knowledge of what is right and wrong based on what is good for our survival and what is not. Sin is a term coined by religion to take credit for human conscience in the name of their faith and slip in a plethora of additional doctrine under the same moniker that have no basis in nature or reality for the purpose of control. For instance: child pornography hurts children. It is wrong. Erotic fiction hurts no one. It is a sin."Plus, everyone is religious. Even atheists. If you wanna argue against that, fine, but let me ask you this: what is the difference between believing that there IS a god and believing that there is NO god? None. You still have to BELIEVE something, and that's called "religion." Sorry if your bubble's burst.""God is not Religion. God is God. Religion is a system of control built and run by flawed and corrupt people who use the concept of God as nothing but a tool to control others. And I never said I was an atheist. I just disapprove of organized religion."By the way, suffering is NOT a bigger part of our life, it just happens a lot more often that love and sex do."No. Not for most people."Death, however, IS bigger. Not everyone experiences love or sex, but I'm pretty sure everyone who ever lived on this planet experienced death."Death is merely the end, or a new beginning, depending on your beliefs. If death was a bigger part of life than love and sex, no one would ever have kids because they would just die anyway. That's like saying the end credits roll of a movie is more important than the movie itself.
You know, you're title "Decay" reminds me a lot of "The Death of Captain Marvel", did you draw any inspiration from that story to make this one?
was pretty good im down with a good sad story but this one seemed to have a different spin to it
My argument isn't for clopfics, it's against grimdark. You can say "oh just don't read it." I could say the same about clopfics. You can say "there are really well written grimdark" I could say the same about clopfics. You can say "this stuff isn't that explicitly detailed." Again, I could say the same for clopfics.The point is, I don't like seeing this junk, no matter how well it is written, on EqD. It's depressing and offensive to have it even posted. These are the same reasons they don't allow clopfics. Same reasoning, same effect, but different rules. I am kinda pissed because people bothered by clopfics are spared while people bothered by killing off ponies receive no protection. I say either allow them both, or ban them both.
@KoA i knew this reminded me of metal gear for some reason!
@DarwinBirdDude. Right side of screen. Says "Fiction Archive". Big green banner. Click that. Left click the Grimdark tag twice. Then the Dark tag. Then the Sad tag. Now you have a list of every non Grim/Dark/Sad fic on the site and you never have to worry about them again.And my point had nothing to do with being for or against certain content. It's more about the idocy of the "reasons" behind the restrictions against certain content while other, far more traumatic content is "fine".
Quite the heated discussion going on here. Not sure if I'll read this fic though. Not right now at least. I've read enough Sad fics involving a slow, drawn out death and dealing with the eventual result recently. I'll set thsi one aside for a later day, it looks good. :)As for the Grimdark vs. Clopfic debate, I feel like I'm fueling this fire by adding more aruguement, but i have some minor real life experience with this kind of discussion. (not about Ponies though lol :) )For those of us who live in the Western world (ie. North/South America), our societal views on violence and sex differ oppositley to those who live in the Eastern world (ie. Europe).We here in the West have very lax laws on public displays of violence on T.V and in movies. We can show the most horrible stuff in terms of violence and death and it's easily accessable to everyone who goes to the movies or watches TV. Sex however is seen as a dirty and private thing. Adult movies are difficult to aquire (especially in my town. We had one movie store that offered adult movies to rent/buy and they recently closed down.)Sex is much less open to "proper" social discussion. People who walk around talking about sex this and that are seen as deviants or perverts. But in the Eastern nations, like in Italy or France, they are much more open about their sexuallity. It's on TV and in movies (not like porn, but much more skin then we get on cable here in the americas), but they have very little blood or gore. It's the opposite.My family hosted an exchange student from Germany for my brother's High School German class. He came to us not having ANY clue how much violence we have on TV. He was stunned. And we were watching stuff like C.S.I! lol he was amazed as how easily we watched it, like it was nothing. :) He wondered were all the nudity was! We told him that stuff doesn't show up on daytime tv. Even nighttime is tough to find nudity on TV. It's totally different for us here then the other side of the world. I found it funny, cause the kid was 17 too. LOL oh those Germans...Anyways. Fanfic works the same way. Grimdark fics are allowed more cause we accept violence and death easier in public then we do sex. I personally done see the appeal in clopfics, but then again, that's just me. If you like it, great. Good for you. I enjoy a Grimdark fic, but not the super bloody gore filled kind like a certain baked pastry entitled fic we do not like to talk about anymore. I prefer something with a psychological feel to it, maybe with a bit of violence. :P Again, that's just me.
“Doctor Essall,” the stallion corrected indignantly before continuing.XD
@DarwinBird I agree with you completely, there is an unfair double standard going on here.The fact of the matter is that alot of people DONT like grimdark like how ALOT of people dont like Clopfics. So the solution is simple, LET THE PEOPLE USE THEIR BRAINS. EqD should consider allowing ALL content to be considered instead of outright refusing one particular genre, then people would use their brains, and like you said DarwinBird, one can simply ignore what they don't like, in this case mature content, that Grimdark also falls under i should add. A prime example is the situation with Cupcakes. the damn story is HERE in EqD. its Grimdark as hell VERY unpopular, even more so than clopfics, yet its here. Can NO ONE see the hypocrisy in that? So i suggest you stop your complaining about the shipping that DOES make it here and stop considering Clopfics as trash (because its just a social stigma as someone else said) before we rise up against the Grimdark lovers. God help you if we do.
Oh my. The comments have spun out in to a new depth since I last saw them. Setting aside these for the moment: chapter two is up! Very satisfying continuation from the first and Thyrai deserves all due credit for really bringing this together as quickly as was done with the time constraints. Great to see it done and up on EqD! Story still doesn't give me anything as to how it will end. Despite all rationality I'm choosing to believe that there'll yet be a happy ending out of this. Somehow...As for the comments: O.O ... My mind. It does the derp.... well, here goes. @ZeroLink3D - I've noticed the very same effect after moving across the Atlantic (going the other way) One side is very graphically tolerant, the other is very sexually liberated.Seeing the comments from where they've continued to go after I last saw them has pointed out to me that I was acting from quite a stigmatic (even a word??) mindset when I put in my opinion beforehand. I stand by it for the most part, though I realize I could and should have been more thoughtful before rather foolishly attacking something that otherwise is the basis for natural and interesting discussion. @the communist pony: I wanted to just cop out and say I don't have the answers to this very interesting thread, but your call to use teh brainz has shamed me into kicking the darn thing into gear. Truth be told I had all the pieces of the hypocrisy there to see, but didn't actually fit them together until you pointed it out. Shame on me.I don't read the grimdark stuff because I simply choose not to. That opens up the whole tin of worms of about simply applying choice to the clopfic genre (the problem is choice! --sorry, couldn't resist) I have not the energy to get into that discussion, since I doubt I'll have enough strength to pull myself out from the vortex otherwise.Will point out though that for the unintended fan base of pastelle ponies, we bronies really get into very mindful debates and deliberations on all manners of things both gripping and philosophical. Wow...Sorry Commie, will run away after all, for now.May sound weird, but thanks to ye above for deconstructing what I said before and giving it a right good kicking and all that as I need to be regularily brought down a healthy peg. Happy debating!
Normally don't read shipfics, but this is pretty good. Well done, I'll follow.
I like it so far, definitely want to read more. It's just....I dunno, I guess I'm just not into shipping. Light shipping, maybe. That whole TwiDash scene at the end of chapter 2 was a little much in my opinion, but maybe that's just me being critical. Other than that, though, very well written. Emotional, gripping, all that jazz. I'm anxiously awaiting the next installment of what's sure to be a fantastic read. :3
*Cries* Dashie, why you gotta die.
LOL! What a kneeslapper of a ending! Haven't laughed that hard in ages!*puts on tophat & monocle* Did notice a mistake in the story tho: Celestia says that there's no magic that can save Rainbow Dash, when we all know that NECROMANCY MOST FOUL could help!
Why does it have to be over? :'(
Why did I read that. D': this is great, but why?
It made me cry =(Good Story ... but sad ... very sad :(
The ending made me cry....she lowers her eyes for the last time...." I love you twilight.... " sadist ending ever!!!
@NyxYes.@OneRanAwaybecause it always must.I hoped to the last that there'd be a happy ending, even as I steadily knew better.Though... if we all die with love in our hearts, our minds, and our hands/hooves, I do not think it would be a bad world. Sorry, just getting a little emotional. It is a touching story. Bittersweet to have been a part of it.
I liked it. I really did.---Spoilers, beware---It's a dangerous plot to go for, because it's a fairly standard "sadfic" situation. Pony has terminal illness. Pony mopes about dealing with terminal illness. etc etc.But I thought it was really beautiful. I particularly like how it wasn't written with the deliberate intent to get bronies shedding manly tears (the only criticism I might level at My Little Dashie) - or at least it seemed that way to me. I liked the ending; it was portrayed in a very positive manner. I haven't known anyone die, which is fortunate, and yet it still got me thinking quite a lot.I think it was written very well, although perhaps it might benefit from being combined into one chapter? Particularly for the last chapter there isn't much plot to speak of, and perhaps that wouldn't be so much of a problem if it was more firmly part of the over-arching plot of the first two chapters? Although it might have to do with the fact that I read the first two chapters so long ago I kind of forgot what happens in them!Five stars.
Actually Seth someone made the point earlier ... the picture has the wrong ship!
Gods damn, I hate you for making me cry. That was such a good story.
PLEASE WRITE EPILOGUE
The disease: "It's never lupus..."Amazing read, made me cry like a newborn baby
I nearly wept. Only nearly cuz I read this in school and there's only reason to be judged when it comes to my school. A wonderful read.
This story is enough to make me, a 15 year old guy, wonder about what the future will have in store. Will I be faced with disease? Will my friends? Will I have life long friends? Will I die alone, or with love in my heart? It sounds sappy, I know, but this story alone is enough to make me try and be a better person.