[Shipping]
Author: furor1
Description: After Rainbow Dash loses a wing in an accident Twilight finds herself to be the only pony capable of restoring it. But can she reconcile the month long treatment with her suppressed feelings for the pegasus?Dawn of a new Day Part 1
Dawn of a new Day Part 2
Dawn of a new Day Part 3
Additional Tags: Dash loses wing, little cliché
68 comments:
Dash loses a wing?! GASP
Oh, sorry Jelfes, should I remove that comment?
/First
Twidash? that's how i start mah day.
^
Hmm....
Another story I must read!
You guys and your 'first' attempts. UR FUNNEH.
I usually avoid shipping like the plague. Buuuut, I need something to read...
CAN'T DECIDE.
@Whitbane only Jelfes can do it then, huh?
Damn my emotional need to find romanticism in this deterministic nihilist's world. I'll read it.
This is a fun one. Moves pretty quickly, but Twilight's thoughts make up for it, if you ask me.
I think this might be first time dash Has lost a wing but regained it.
(though there may have been one other, I can't remember the title.)
Either way this looks interesting, i'll give it a read.
Additional tags FTW!! Only a regular shipping tag? Wow....
I already read this and found it very good ^^
@Bombedrumbum Nahh, I think I can live satisfied nopony, 'first,'-ed.
Anyways, I love TwiDash shipping, really, I love any pony+Dash shipping, but Twilight's nerdiness makes it all the better. Seriously though, how does RD manage to injure her wings so easily, as said by Seth(I think), her wings must be made of tissue-paper.
Planning on reading this, haven't had me a good ol' TwiDash ship in a little while.
Anyone can 'first'. He's just the trademark 'first' guy. That made no sense at all, did it?
when a new drawfriend shows up some several shipping pics, doeant mean it makes up to shipping right away, and yet i cannot deny the intense idea from it ;-;
@Whitbane THE GREAT AND POWERFUL JELFES HAS SPOKEN
@InFamous Spartan Either I'm completely incapable of reading now, or that comment made no sense what-so-ever.
@jelfes im in the same boat as you, Jelfes. That comment fried my mind
Even if it is cliche, I don't really care. I love these stories too much to pass this up.
I think he's trying to say that just because it's tagged with 'shipping' doesn't mean the entire story is shipping.
Or something like that...
BUCK YEAH MORE TWIDASH!
I've been waiting for another to come out!
Well, at least the tags admit it. I'll have to give this story a shot...
Now, I'm always down with some Sparkledash shipping, but seriously, what's the count up to on the # of fics that involve Dash losing her wings? It's gotta be competing with "Twilight borks up a spell and Bad Things happen" for Most Common MLP Fanfic Trope.
Hmm, I read it.
It was goood, its well written and sweet. Its an interesting take on "dash loses a wing" style and certainly one of the better ones.
Characterisation was good and fairly believeable. I liked Rarities discussion with Rainbowdash, she is almost always the pony they go to for advice in shipping stories.
The ending was sweet and I really liked it.
My only real critisism was Twilight went a bit too in depth when she explained why she liked Rainbow and I found it a little bit creepy, though it wasn't too bad.
All in all it was pretty good, sweet and fairly heartwarming. I liked it, I almost always enjoy happy fanfiction and this was certainly happy.
Looks like my afternoon... *puts on sunglasses*
Just got booked.
YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Oh Mr Fett you and your word play
Dash Loses Wing/wing has almost ascended Cliche and become a Celestia Damned Trope
How does everypony know how I feel!? And why do they keep writing stories about it? ._. Just joking! love the story. There's always time for a good ship-fic
@Twilight Sparkle
Silly Twilight, Pinkie pie is watching you, FOREVEEERRRRR...
>my OTP
>Twilight is the one in love
>submitted with one of the best pics ever
ALL OF MY MONEY
@TheBlackBaron
I was breaking Rainbow Dash's wings before it was cool! ;)
Little cliche my ass.
Read the first chapter. This seems very promising. Thank you for making me stay up to 1 (or 2?) am to read the first chapter.
Little bit of cliche, but very enjoyable ^^
Quibble, because I've seen this joke come up before and I'm getting tired of it: Rainbow Dash calls them "pegasi" in Sonic Rainboom. I'm pretty sure she never ever says "pegasuses." The closest Twilight comes to either plural is simply "pegasus," in Applebuck Season. So if you're going to include that correction joke, Twilight correcting Rainbow Dash is the absolute worst way to do it.
Nice wings you got there, Dashie.
It'd be a real shame if something happened to one of them...
@TheBlackBaron
The nice thing about this story is that it's not "Dash loses a wing and Twilight borks a spell", it's "Twilight's spell works perfectly and Dash gets her wing back". That reversal alone was enough to get me to read. The magical/medical stuff turned out to be quite well thought out, too.
It was a nice story, I liked it. But although it avoided the wing-and-spell-based cliches, I do have to ding it for falling into the everypony-is-a-lesbian, everypony-secretly-loves-their-corresponding-partner-already cliches. It was well written but there wasn't a whole lot of character development as a result. It made the characters feel a bit "off" to me since they were starting out in a state that didn't quite match the characters in the show. To be truly outstanding a story like this should IMO start with the existing characters and then show them discovering these new aspects of themselves.
But not every romance story has to be outstanding, it's fine for stories to just be nice. This one was nice. I liked it. :)
@Jelfes haha oh that Pinkie Pie.
Loving this! I always love RD x Twi. No clue why I love it so much, but I do.
I just read the whole thing. I quite enjoyed it as well. Things were getting quite deep at then end and I found myself thinking it was heading into clopfic territory, but alas it stopped short of it thankfully.
Twilight comes off as a bit crazy in the head. She was totally obsessing over Dash, and I felt that should have creeped Dash out a bit.
I do like how the broken wing was a tool for them to get together, and there really wasn't any danger of Dash not flying again. This was a twi x dash story first, and a broken wing story, a distant second.
Great stuff!
So I finished reading this fic. Well written, especially with obsessive Twilight; and a little cliché, but I won't nitpick over every fic that has Rainbow severely injured or somepony heading to Rarity for relationship advice.
The real thing that bothers me with this fic, and many, many others, is just how everyone gets their dreams come true. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a happy ending, but most just seem too good to be true. I 'd like a little more conflict, or even a slight bittersweet ending. For this fic, for example, Rainbow falls in love w/ Twi in three weeks and accepts it; I would of like to see Dash question herself if she's falling just because Twi is healing her. Give Rainbow some anguish.
I probably just want to read more bittersweet ships, but those that I find almost always involves someponies death or attempted suicide (ha, more clichés). Heck, my favorite bittersweet ship is still from the Pony Psychology series.
But for your story, Mr. Author, I can say I enjoyed it for what it is. Again, very well written: Twilight's mental state & breakdown was one of the best written turmoils I've read in a ship fic; and I can vividly picture the Tramping Method in progress. Kudos to you good sir
And now my speech is over.
I thought it was well written. Just spent the last hour reading it. A few things I noticed didn't seem right to me.
First off, I was expecting Pinkie to come out of nowhere and say, "FOREVEEEEEERRRRRR!!!"
Secondly, this story severely lacked Flutershy! :P
On a more serious note, however, I got a little tired of reading "kissing" over and over again. Yes, I understand that new-found love has that effect, but it seemed excessive to me. I also didn't understand the part at the end where Dash's wings had purple in them. Is that what signifies a Pegasus bonding with another? If it's just a spell Twilight used, how would the others know what it meant? I might have missed that detail.
I love happy endings!
Yay for TwiDash!
Thank you furor1 - your tale brought a huge smile to my face!
@P. Slater
Fluttershy*
Sorry can't stand to see Fluttershy's name misspelled
(Grammer Nazi to the rescue HEIL)
@Bombedrumbum'H'U'R'L'Consarnit the picture.I hate TwiDash shipping stories.EWWWWWW TO PICTURE
GOD DANG IT. I went to bed right before this was posted.
I'll read this this afternoon. The comments seem promising.
what im trying to say that i seen that pic a couple days ago on a passed drawfriend and though bout myself when i saw this pic 'oh hey twidash pic, i wonder if they're gonna make a shipping from this and other pics like these' there hope anyone else understood from my previous statement yes i read it and enjoyed it.
This might be one of the few Twilight fics where she does a spell right.
I was expecting a lil more in the department of Twi messing around looking to see if Dash liked her or something, or on the other end, Dash thinking Twilight made her like her. Another reader mentioned in the bittersweet department. Happiness is always a plus though, getting worn out on sad and dark fics. Gave it a five, was maybe a 4.5 at the end, but still a great read ^^
It was a pretty OK story. I think you overdid it with Twi though. Frankly, her obsession with how in love she was with Dash is pretty creepy.
Especially when she managed to convince herself that her own fantasy was real. I'm sorry, but I just can't imagine her as the potentially psychotic stalker type of girl.
And what was with all this bawling she did? I can't say she normally comes off as such a crybaby just because she believes things might not go the way she likes them? Yeah, I suppose you can become crazy with love, but I found Dash to give a more enjoyable reaction to it.
I did like how you kept it going even after the "first declaration of love" though.
It's always nice to see it fleshed out slightly after that, rather than the general sharing a kiss and then ending the story. I did enjoy the fanfic overall, despite the complaints above.
Excellent. One of the best Twidash shippings I've read. The writing style was teasing and it flowed very well.
I will say though that you drifted from the character's personalities. Other than that nothing jumps out at me to complain about. At least nothing that doesn't pertain to my personal taste in stories.
I've only read the first part, and it is really good.
Definitely in the higher ups of the dozens of ship fics I've read.
that was extremely enjoyable and had me smiling most of the time.
:3 5/5
Hi, everypony. Author here. First I'd like to thank all of you for reading it and giving your opinion and criticism. That's what I submitted it for. I already got a review tearing it apart. Thank you for that, whoever wrote it. My main problem seems to have been Dash's character and the big paragraphs. Deviantart sure doesn't make it easy to read big blocks of text.
@Celestia
A cute, sweet, very, very sappy story was what I was aiming for. Although I admit the bedroom scene might have gotten a little out of hand.
@Bryan
Well, I didn't intend for Pinkie and Fluttershy to be together if that's what you mean. But thanks.
@Pontius Possom
I did not want to write a bittersweet or sad story. I tend to read those and hate myself every time after I finish them. And yes, I should have given Dash some more mental trouble. This story has a little over 25k words now and with all the suggestions I got I could turn this into a 50k+ words story. Hell, I intended it to be under 5k words.
@P.Slater
Rarity knew the risks of telling a secret and accepted them for Twi's sake. As for the wings: I wanted it to be an original idea from Dash. Of course Rarity knew what they meant since she encouraged Dash to make a move. Fluttershy was the next to catch on, but still asked cautiously. AJ had no idea what was going on and Pinkie stayed suspiciously quiet.
@InFamous Spartan
I did not write a shipfic to that picture if that's what you were implying. I uploaded this fic on September 18th and the picture appeared on deviantart on October 8th. I got permission from the artist to use it, though, since he already liked my story. However, some punctuation might help your comments to be less confusing :P
@Ryllian Dash
The end was written first and quickly abandoned and overlooked in the proofreading, I admit.
Wow, the activity submitting this piece here directed to my profile is just crazy. And already a 4.5 star rating within two days. Thank you, really.
(Spoilers)
I really enjoyed reading this. Well written, not too hasty. The only thing I disliked about it was the ending. You didn't have to add the Rarity/Applejack thing, but it's your fanfic; you can do what you want.
oh my twilight first trixie now rainbow dash you are quite the mare i say
There's this surreal point in every story like this when you suddenly realize with detached clarity that the adorable couple falling in love and cradling each other tenderly while engaged in a passionate kiss are PONIES.
Wow this is a very solid TwiDash shipping fic, probably the best one I've read so far.
Thanks for the work done here :)
hah, i love that song, the story is awesome to. good job.
Hmm where to start, where to start. Before i read this i was a fan of Dash and AJ as a couple.... After reading this i went on a mad mans hunt for more TwiDash. GOD did this story touch me close to the end, and that last bit about the "Second couple" You my friend have written a great story here. (Epic Brohoof)
This was actaully very toutching indeed, hands down one of the best love scenes that ive read so far. The play on words used alowed me to picture this very well CAUSE STUFF GOT HOT! hehe but other then that its very well done although i didnt care for the ending portion too much
@Brony Fav
The Rarity x Applejack thing was a reference to the ultimate Rarijack shipfic:
Swayback Mountain: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/01/story-swayback-mountain.html
The other best shipfics IMHO are:
Building Bridges (Twidash): http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/07/story-building-bridges.html
The Party never Ended (Pinkiedash): http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/02/story-party-has-ended.html
Within and Without (Twiluna): http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/08/story-within-and-without.html
Off the Edge of the Map (Flutterdash): http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/07/story-off-edge-of-map.html
Composure (Twiestia): http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/09/story-composure.html
Once Bitten, Twice Shy (Twishy): http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/09/story-once-bitten-twice-shy.html
And the single best shipping fic ever written, beyond all comparison, is Romance Reports. Unfortunately you will have to find this one on FiM Fiction or Pony Fiction Archive because it is explicit.
I personally don't have an OTP. Also I rarely read pure shipping fics (those without tags other than Shipping and Normal), so these pics are completely impartial and good stories first, good ships second.
Forgot to mention Luna's Day Out (Lunashy): http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/08/story-lunas-day-out.html
I feel that the only character in this story is the narrator, and the ponies don't have distinct characterization. Also, Dash not freaking out nearly enough in the premise. But yay tickling. That sounded real.
TACTICAL D'AWW INCOMING!!!
Very well written, and succeeded where all good ships should.
This was the most beautiful thing I've ever read, great job
Very nice work! It was adorable and pushed for more feelings past those awkward phases, which I rarely see in other fanfics. Felt that the characters themselves could have been closer to their mannerisms but overall it was great!
Great fic! Loved the descriptions, the flow, and the passion between RD and Twi. This TwiDash is only second to "Burning Bridges" in my opinion. Great story, and one of the reasons I consider TwiDash right up there next to my OTP (PinkieDash). I d'awwwwwed so hard. :)
On another note, Twilight needs to learn how to cook now!
Beautiful fic. It was very vivid and I found myself entranced by it.
Then I find that others began building on it, writing sequels and art and comics, oh my!
Personally, I would love to see you write your own sequel to this; Something along the lines of "a day in life" now that things are how they are.
I'd say more, but I'll just end up rambling. So, great job. You're the first artist/author I will be actively keeping an eye on for future works.
Post a Comment