• Story: Coral's Journal


    [Normal]

    Author: The-Symbol-Dynamic
    Description: A slightly charred notebook sits in a locked cabinet in the Cake household. Within its pages lie secrets waiting to be shared, a lost history that they can never tell to the mare they care for.
    Coral's Journal


    Additional Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sea pony, Journal, Sad, Secret origins

    18 comments:

    1. It sounds interesting, almost sounds like it could have a Sad tag, wait, it does, but it's in the additional tags... why?

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    2. Hmmmm...

      Mermares

      I'm liking this idea.

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    3. It's a good story, I just think the ending could have been better. Seems like a bit of a cut paste cliché.

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    4. Sorry, can't stand Normal fics. They always feature the Mane Six acting out-of-character and doing thing the REAL Mane Six would never do.

      *shades*

      *leaves while DJ Screw plays*

      http://youtu.be/GQRVaIx_908

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    5. Pinkie's 'secret origin' O.O oh dear

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    6. I liked the story, however, as posted earlier in this thread it seemed cliche and didn't fit with the tone of the story until that point. What's worse is that it was totally predictable, I knew from the start that something would happen to Pinkie and Coral. And having it happen the way it did just seems thrown in.

      Besides that, the story was deeply emotional, and played itself out like a well-written Science Fiction story. The characterization for all of the characters was nice and each character was interesting to read about. The relationship between Pinkie and Coral was also well portrayed and the connection between Pinkie's 'secret origin' and her own behavior was excellent.

      All in all, if the ending didn't make the story pointless and predictable then I could give it 5 stars, as it is I have to give it a slightly lower rating.

      4/5 (but on the higher side of 4 stars; the story does deserve 5 stars, just not 6 stars)

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    7. Read this story on DA before it hit EqD, and I gotta say, it's definitely worth a read.

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    8. Good story. Probably should of had a sad tag though.

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    9. Pinkie pie story? This is a must read

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    10. Okay I guess.
      It doesn't really resonate with me in any way, but it seems well written. So 3.5, my most common rating.

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    11. Not bad... but as stated the ending was cliche and pretty telegraphed.

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    12. If not for that "cliche ending" I don't see how it could have connected back up to the main story. And Orson Scott Card once said that it's the mark of an immature reader to read something only for a twist ending. There's nothing new under the sun, what matters is how the cliche is presented and how well the story is told. It shouldn't matter whether or not you could see it coming. Did it move you? Did it make you think? These are the questions that need answering, and to me the answer is yes.

      inb4 cliche ending is still cliche, bluh bluh.

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    13. A tad sad near the end but a very good and well written story.
      Does alot to explain about the craziness that makes up Pinkie Pie.

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    14. I was wondering how this story could be sad but then I read the ending. Looking back at the description, it gives a hint as to what happened in the ending but I missed it the first time.

      Since we already what the family situation is like in MLP, the OC that was created will be a part of canon. But at least with the ending, it sounds like it could plausibly fit in. If nothing happened at the end, we would be wondering why Pinkie doesn't mention anything about her origins or why Coral isn't there.

      I'm glad to have read this story. In fact, I'm glad for every fanfiction story that I've read. May MLP fanfiction never die, for with these stories, we can live above and beyond, and experience what the show can't give us.

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    15. Really enjoyed this- the ending didn't feel cliche to me but I was a little disappointed that SPOILER she forgot everything /SPOILER, as it seemed to cheapen what went before, just a little. I know you had to bring it into line with canon, but hey, Pinkie's allowed to have secrets! Everything before that was really well written and characterised, you used the journal format well. The only other quibble I have is that the timescale feels off- it gives the impression of taking place over months, maybe years, and then it turns out it's all in the space of a week.
      Great fic, thanks for writing it and keep it up!

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    16. So few comments? But... But this is such a MOVING fic! It's awesome! Such a shame...

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

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    17. I agree with The Great and Powerful Trevor. :(

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