[Dark][Sad][Slight-shipping]
Author: Vennyr
Description: A dramatic event sends Lyra into a coma which results in her being stuck in a world of purgatory where she can still see and hear everypony, but they cannot see her.Comatose Part 1 (Revised)
Will she discover the reason as to why she was put into a coma? Will she acquire the identity of the ponies responsible when she cannot interact with anypony?
Comatose Part 2
Comatose Part 3
Comatose Part 4 (New!)
Additional Tags: sad, dark, shipping, anger, confusion
55 comments:
Interesting....
will read
Sad, dark, and shipping W/ Lyra? I'll wait till the ratings.
"imagine what it would be like if no one could see or hear you." Really, nopony can see you when you're comatose?! That's awesome, I want to be invisible! Joking aside, this is quite a different scenario from what I usually see from sad fics. Definitely going to read this.
slight shipping?
whatever happened to light-shipping?
is slight less than light? or moar? SETH, QUIT CONFUSING ME. D=
I acctually had a dream like that as a kid. That the "real" me was in a coma or dead and my current conciousness was nothing but a dream I couldn't wake up from.
"escape from her comatose"? Comatose state, or coma, I presume?
Looks pretty good! Imma ead this! And un a completely unrelated note that I figured that I'd mention is that I never realized how much my history teacher sounds like Discord until he said "chaos" a bunch of times today while talking about WWI.
Ack...
kind of wish i hadn't
Poor lyra :(
Wow 5 mins to read this one chapter....
that was only 6 pages :(
Locked-in syndrome I assume? Don't think I want to read about one of the 3 greatest phobias I have...
I've seen plenty of stories and or movies that use this premise.
One in particular had a person that was dying and he had to get someone to find his body before it was too late. Needless to say he lived but the girl that rescued him sure didn't.
The movie was called 'The Invisible'.
At least write a bit more before sending it to EqD, sheesh.
Anyways, dude what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure I saw this movie and it starred Reese Witherspoon - Just Like Heaven.
I might read this while listening to One - Metallica.
I read it, so why did the cloaked ponies whoop Lyra something fierce? Is it because she sits funny?
must be really really close to the minimum 3k word limit
Just done a word count
Only counts 2200 words including all the non story text
Oh wow. A sadfic with an actual premise instead of "lets make people cry cause they liek it". Kudos. Um... really short though. You just testing the waters before you dive in?
Dark + Sad? But...but....Lyra....but dark....Lyra....sad....Lyra.....ATGH!
*attempts to read anyway*
I like the idea, but agreeing with others in that another chapter should've been submitted. Plus, paint a more detailed picture: Lyra's parents are no more than two generic hard working voices to me.
Come on, Seth! You really need to get a hold on all of these random tags! I think I saw [Grimdark-War]? War IS Grimdark! [Friend-Shipping] is okay, but these slight-shipping/light-shipping/not-quite-shipping tags are confusing and really out of place.
P.S. Light-Grimdark? WTF? How is that possible?
@DPV111 ^^ thanks. Yeah, i had just planned on testing, which is why i haven't really done much with the second chapter ^^" i have started it though.
They messed that pony UP.
oh and yeah and i really wanna see what happens so i was kinda disappointed in the length but hopefully it wont take to long to update.
....what just happened?
Why do I have the feeling the whole beginning section was some sort of chimera? Hmmm....
I'd assumed all the weird tags lately were being made up by the authors, not Seth.
This reminds me of something... I think its almost like that one drama I believe is called 41 Days. Can't remember what it was called.
Hub-buh, bu-buh.. wha?
"escape her comatose". Errors in the synopsis do not bode well for the readability of the story itself.
despite the apparent lack of material to read a the moment the only problem i have is the lack of description. other than that the story seems readable.
SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!? This is the first dark/grimdark fic I've read. Thanks, I can't unread that. .-.
@Scorched Wing Thanks for pointing that out ^^ I hadn't actually noticed that until you pointed it out.
@Vennyr
Any word on part two yet? Not to rush you, but I need more :P
@RDash I'm sorry about the late reply ^^""
I have been working on the new chapter, I'm about halfway through it, maybe a little less.
Between School and a project between another author and I, the next chapter is taking a little longer than i'd like, but I WILL get it up, I swear ^^
@Vennyr Yay, thanks for keeping us posted! (and I completely understand about not having much time)
@RDash ^^ I've finished the chapter and almost finished the third one. My editor still needs to look it over before i release it though. Thank you for understanding and being patient ^^
Oh my god this isn't dead. I thought this was dead.
Also what the floop I have no idea what is going on.
Dear God! It lives!
Not bad.
Ya know, a top priority as a ghost is to keep your body from being desecrated... And unless cultists can see ghosts or defend against them (which wouldn't be too surprising) going all poltergeist on potential attackers would at least give you the chance of someday waking up. and if cameras are around showing up in a couple pictures might help too. no blood-on-the-wall writing, but finding a Medium or Diviner like Pinkie Pie would be useful too.
I think I nearly squeed when I saw this in the update post. This idea is too interesting to let die.
Oh, now this is interesting.
I'm sensing a fifty percent chance that Bonbon will be able to see Lyra's astral projection.
Hmm. Hate crimes and murder and bears, oh my...
Um....really? I....this is pretty rediculous.
Awesome update!
This feels rushed, but I like it anyhow.
Awesome, an update! Reading time ^^
Um.
Okay. This almost feels like the author got tired of the story and just wanted it to end.
@Multiversity
I know what you mean, there was still quite a bit of potential. Bonbon still lived on not knowing how horrible her parents are.
Yet while this was not the ending I hoped for, it was beautiful in it's own way and certainly better than being left unfinished.
Cried the sh!t outta me with this, just awesome.
That was awful. Just... ugh.
I don't get it, this was great, why such a low rating?
I don't get it, this was great, why such a low rating?
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