Author: Jordan Kinsley
Description: On a trip to visit Twilight's parents in Canterlot, Twilight and Rarity find themselves in an unusual situation. Can they straighten everything out before they have to return to Ponyville?Canterlot's Guests (New Part 5!)
Additional Tags: love, confusion, misadventures, dramatic irony
69 comments:
I don't want to know what this is about.
@Ezhik
I WANT!
"Mom? Dad? This is my-secret-admirer-who-is- waiting-for-you-both-to-go-to-bed-to-profess-her-love-to-me-and-ruin-all-of-Pinkie's-hopes-and-dreams, Rarity."
Oh joy, how compelling.
But on an unrelated note, i do hope we get to see some episodes which take place in Canterlot.
Rarity coming out of the closet to Twilight during a trip Twilight was gonna take to see her parents? That sounds like trouble waiting to happen. Though I do find the information on the spider silk used for tailoring interesting.
Rarilight?
Not a very common shipping pair
@Celestia
Im betting that Episode 1 starts in Canterlot, where the season 1 finale left of
This could either be interesting or rather generic, depending on how future chapters go. For now, I'll keep an eye out for updates.
"You are a lady-in-training, after all."
I giggled of cuteness
RARITY/TWILIGHT!
My favorite! -squee!-
-read read!-
I half expected it to be a Twilestia. But, off to a good start.
I wouldn't mind Twilestia either, but... there really needs to be more Rarilight fics. I need to write one of my own one day.
About the fic: Shaping up to be pretty good so far! Nice setup, I could definitely see how things are likely going to go horrifically wrong.. and I can't wait to see how it's going to go! I'm also quite fond of your writing style, author. Yay!
Ok...so interesting so far. Enough that I want to keep reading, anyway. At the same time, the style kinda bugs me. It's as if there's too much in there that isn't needed, added simply to pad the length. In addition, it just feels too...I dunno...robotic? As if the characters are going through motions rather than acting naturally.
huh, haven't seen a rarity-twilight ship fic in a while.
I red it, and it's not to bad so far. I wonder if the solid-matter will hit the fan? XD
This Story wins for "Trot Pilgrim vs Equestria" Alone.
It's not Normal if it has Shipping. :|
@nomonoke
Rarity and Twilight are my favorites. And there needed to be more Rarilight, so...
Oh, you have no idea. It might take a while for things to go horribly wrong, but there will be some conflict and awkwardness to come.
Not too bad a start. i found Raritys internal monologues a bit robotic, but the rest seems fine. Should be interesting to see how the author portrays the Sparkle family.
Slightly related, do we know if Twi has any brothers/sisters? (Trixie fics NOT withstanding)
A Twilarity fic? I will probably give this a read when a few more chapters come out
@FredFredNineNine
I'm almost finished writing part two. It might go up on Ponychan's review threads for some edits before I submit it, but I imagine it won't be too long.
@Spell Nexus
Dad's hard-working, almost bordering on absentee, and Mom is way too interested in what Twilight does all the time. Sort of exaggerated versions of my parents. And we only know that Twilight has parents. I'm not sure if they have canon names, but I took them from the MLP Wikia.
Strange how Rarity is the one most likely to be in relationships out of the Mane 6, yet shes probably the least shipped of the 6 from what I've seen. Also, Rarilight is not what I was expecting. I will cautiously bookmark this for later reading.
@Ragona
Perhaps she's the least shipped because she's the only the only to openly show a heterosexual interest in the show itself.
It's There Are No Bisexuals syndrome (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoBisexuals)
(which if you watch other fandoms where characters are quite clearly shipped in canon, MANY people will have no problems with an OOC ship if they are the 'correct' genders but will cry fowl when they aren't -- even when he 'correct' one is gay/lesbian)
@Melodia
Tv Tropes?! DARN YOU!!! I wanted to go to bed on time tonight!
Lovely start on a series i cant wait to read more of :D
Well written and interesting, but its only setting the stage so far so waiting a bit patiently for more :D
I have read this before, and I have held off giving it a rating because I know for a fact how much authors can improve. I don't doubt that this story will be amazing in the future. ~Waiting patiently for the next chapter.
@Ice Storm
What do you hope to see improved? I'm almost positive that my writing style is not going to change much, and the style of the story itself will definitely remain the same.
Pretty good! Certainly haven't seen much, if any, RariTwi. Looking forward to seeing what happens next!
(Is it safe to assume that you already have pre-readers to help you then, coming from what your comment was at the end of the chapter?)
I really am enjoying this so far! It's always a good sign when I get to the end of the current chapter and actually say "Aww!"
I'm not sure if that was a subtle nod to Serenity concerning one royal guard being prettier than the other, but it was very amusing nonetheless!
I haven't read much TwiRarity (or is it Rarity Sparkle?) but you make it seem like a very good match! I can't wait for more!
Pretty good so far! Twilight is in character as muc as she can be, (Since she's had no romance showing in the season), and her hesitancy and wanting to research is good! One expects, however, for the author to have a fairly good reason as to why Twilight and Rarity like each other. Though it DOES look like the author has a plan, so... Anyhoof, looking forward to the RariTwi!
~ Magical Trevor
kinda nit-picky here but as i do this for a living the hotel would likely have quartz not granite counter tops as they are stronger and every bit as good looking
“Flint’s prettier,” teased Twilight.
yay, Serenity!
Ah! YAY, I'm so glad the next chapter came out! I hopped to read it as soon as I saw!
It was so wonderful to see Twilight's thoughts in this one, and I was not disappointed. I always thought of Twilight/Rarity as being this "Rarity is emotional as usual, and Twilight has no idea what's going on", and that was so spot on.
Once again, I can see how things are "falling in to place" well in Rarity's point of view especially. Let's see if things get in the way.
So excite, bb! Can't wait for more! Will be a fan of this fic until it is done, I assure you.
Ok, so this chapter was certainly better than the first, stylistically at least. It doesn't bug me like the first did.
On the flip side....it just feels so slow. It seems like stuff happened but at the same time it seems like this is maybe a half or even a third of plot for a chapter, as it were. It's not a huge detail, and it's still long enough...but that's how it came across to me.
Firefly reference in chapter 2? Instant 5-star from me.
"And I get to figure out what I'm coming down with."
Possibly one of the best parts.
Twirarity is rare like trixiedash or "trash"
@The communist pony
Which is confusing to me as the only other of the Mane 6 I can see her working with is Fluttershy.
/)^3^(\
@Jordan Kinsley
Sorry it took so long for a reply, I don't know how to describe what needs to be improved. The first chapter was purely set-up which is why I did not give the story a rating. The content of the story is there, it is entertaining, but it doesn't exactly pull my attention away from anything else.
The second chapter does have its moments, but they are fleeting. I am finding it difficult to have any feelings along with the characters. They are there, and going through emotional changes, it makes sense but as a reader I do not feel it (as much).
Those were the not-so-constructive-constructive points that I thought of.
The good points is that for a story like this, it is short (per chapter). It is a lighthearted casual read, which is nice from time to time. I pointed out in the "bad" part that this story doesn't make me feel any raw emotions, but it does not mean that being content with just a fuzzy feeling is bad.
Why I have held off rating it, is there is a huge possibility here for you to just pour on the emotion and leave me speechless, or you can go the other way and keep the fiction episodic where I am just left with a fuzzy feeling the entire time.
If I were to rate it now, I would give it around a 4.3~4.5, but depending on the actual plot, and plot twists, I can see the rating going up to a 4.8 easy.
Umm... I guess that is it. Good luck and I guess I'll figure out whats gunna happen when it happens.
I just realized that those are my only complaints of this fic... GOOD JOB!
(and notice the timestamp? It took me a while to figure that out!)
I just wanted to say I've really enjoyed your story so far and I hope you continue it. This is a pretty rare pairing. Not my favorite by far, but certainly something I'm interested in reading. Keep up the good work!
Can't wait for the release of the 3rd part!
@Mazzyrazzy
Nor can I. It's written, it just needs some revisions. Hopefully I can get it released in a few days.
And a note to anypony else following this story: I'm doing some relatively minor rewriting of the first two parts. Most of it is clarity and sentence flow related changes, but I am adding and changing some characterization issues.
I am excited at this news!
It's very cute ^^ wish there was more, though..
GAH! Come on! The chapters are so short! Trevor has to have more! Please keep up the good work! Trevor doesn't want to wait another two+ weeks!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Yay! I'm glad you updated!
I love how Twilight had to study to realize that she was falling for her. Why is that so in character? XDX
Wonderful. So wonderful. Keep it up~
@The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor
Sorry, I got a serious case of the Real Lifes and this got pushed back. Plus, I've been trying to do some edits on all of these parts, which slowed stuff down. Plus, if I kept going with the "it's not good enough yet" I'd never update. ;)
And it's short because of the way I planned out the rest of the story. Part 4 is probably going to short like this one as well, but Part 5 will be much longer. Once I'm finished, I may merge parts 3 and 4, depending on how it turns out.
dang it, that chapter was short and I wanted to know what's gonna happen next... the suspense is gonna kill me, at least the new episode is tomorrow morning.
Good job, sir. I always thought that this ship made the most sense... the two unicorns ending up together and whatnot. This has been a great story so far. Granted, I had to wait a little too long for that last chapter, but it's great anyways. Please keep them coming!
@EthanStroup
Ma'am*
I waited too long on it, too. I promise I'm working on getting Part 4 done as soon as I can. I just need to finish planning out the last scene and I'll get to writing it.
So, I am about >< that close of giving you a 5 star now. That chapter was perfect, and if the next is the same you earned my 5 star.
@Ice Storm
I'm glad you loved it. Is there anything you're specifically looking for?
A "double double"? Twilight Sparkle isn't Canadian, you horrible, horrible person.
:P
@DeadManSleeping
Her voice actress, Tara Strong, is. And it's not like Equestria has a Canada or an America or anything other nation.
HNNNNNNNNNG!!!!! That last part was cute!
@Jordan
:D I am just waiting for plot development which takes time esp in romance things. So no, there is nothing specific I am looking for other than a good story.
Just begining chapter 2 now. I'm enjoying it so far :)
Alright, just finished chapter 3, and looking forward to chapter 4 :D
When's part four comin'?
I am Loving this story. Please update as soon as possible.
PLEEEASE. We are starving for updates. We need your words. Helllp usssss.
This story is just amazing! It has RariTwi, Pony Joe, and Canterlot what more could you ask for?! Please update this soon darling the anticipation is killing me! Your faithful reader, Rarity_Fan
Pretty sure this is dead now. Authors really need to come tell us this stuff personally.
@Kayriel
Nope. Story's not dead, and neither am I. In fact, it should update as soon as the blogponies get around to it.
Yay! another lovely story has been found! Great job so far! I cant wait for more!!
UPDATE!
YES! :D
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