[Shipping] [Sad]
Author: Doktor Aurora
Description: Twilight Sparkle has made great progress in her study of the magic of friendship, but when she decides to upgrade her study to the magic of love has she bitten off more than she can chew? Is she truly destined for an unhappy future?
Squaring the Circle: Prelude
Squaring the Circle: Chapter I
Squaring the Circle: Interlude I
Additional Tags: Magic, Melancholy, Love, Non-linear, Rain
58 comments:
aww i no like sad twilight.
yay for progressive story lines!
>Reads Prelude
WHAT
lol i just read the description and liked the concept, the actual story flow... meh
Probably just me, but I miss the massive influx of shipping stories. Especially the random/comedy variety
@Flatterscheu i must agree.... WAT
Well, this is... Odd. It'll probably make more sense with more chapters. Probably.
@Flatterscheu
well put
I also agree with the common emotion expressed here know as "What?!"
I feel as though I will better be able to evaluate this story once more is written.
Interesting start, though.
I'm adding my "What?" to the pile.
>Reads Prelude
What the hell? O_O
Please don't tell me that Twilight's going to become Makoto from School Days... =_= That would crush my fan-boy heart...
don't really know how to rate this story, as I have no idea what's going on so far. The characters in the Prelude and Interlude seemed ooc, chapter 1 was a bit better, but not much. The non-linear concept of storytelling is not bad though, but I think the story would have had a better reception here, if there were a bit more than just one chapter. At the moment the reader gets 3 loosely connected very small parts to read and that's just not enough.
Why do I see this ending terribly.
Needs to be tagged [Grimdark] for implied STATUTORY RAPE. I mean, geez, after that shockhorror chapter 1 was just dull.
Also, adding another "wat" to the pile.
What is this?
I don't even...
Icantcloptothis.jpg
I have yet to read this...all I can say is from the description, it sounds like you're going for a more serious variant of my "The Romancing Quest".
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
seriously. what?
>Additional tags: Non-linear
Um.
Yeah, that pretty much excuses all "wat" comments for the moment. Though, once all the chapters are out they'd better make sense in at least linear order, if not both linear and anachronic.
Also, I'm willing to bet that the prelude's just Twilight taking a leaf out of Trollestia's book, and she's actually just going to have a friendly chat with her student, and either kicks the bucket in the middle of it or while demonstrating a spell.
Or, better yet, they do the drinking game from chapter one for Chekhov's book ends.
Damgit Twi, you're so cute when you're sad, but I don't like to see you sad...*hugs Twilight*
I have to agree with most commenters... this story just doesn't make much sense until there is more of it.
Just because you can send in a fanfiction after 3000 words, does not mean you should do so. This was about 3100 words and seemed even less with the 3 small unconnected chapters. I think the minimum should be raised to at least 5000 words, but I guess the pre-readers have to decide about that.
okay... not much to judge yet, gonna wait for more
What the fudge did I just read?
And this could be considered Grimdark as well. The prelude is implying some dark stuff.
*looks at additional tags*
non-linear... well I liked Inland Empire so, onwards
*finishes prelude*
traumatised.jpg
Interesting...
for some reason i didn't want to read this... but i did.. now i want more. Drunk ponies are awesome.
@MetalGearSamus
It's stated the girl is a "mare, nearly a filly" that's pony for barely legal. If it's legal it's not statutory rape more like abuse of position.
It might still need a grimdark tag what with the jolly tone of it.
3 dissapointments
Pretty interesting story, but some parts I, like many others, simply say "What?!"
May keep updated with this fic to see where it goes. I always love a good G to PG shipping story, so I'd like to see what happens.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Whilst this story is by no means the strongest or most coherent on EqD, I think that the rating is really quite unfair and that the comments aren't the most upstanding of this community's. I'm quite disappointed, really. Hopefully there will be more clarity with later installments - if there are any - but this should definitely have been re-read a couple of times and more fleshed out.
Dear Princess Molestia...
How many of you got the title?
It's one of the only geometry problems NOT solvable with only a compass and straightedge.
Damn, I need to get out more.
@Anonymous
I think, given that two of the three topics at hand in this first batch of chapters are illicit student/teacher relations and substance abuse, the author needed to absolutely knock it out of the park to NOT get lynched. The relatively normal "Chapter I" just gives it an intense mood whiplash without any payoff.
@Anonymous
I think I agree with this guy. The subject matter isn't exactly my cup of tea, but the story doesn't seem bad. I think it could use some polishing, though. In my opinion, the story could have gone into a bit more detail, as the sections seemed a bit short. Still, I wouldn't rate this story so lowly.
Oh dear... Well, at least there seems to be no doubt as to whether or not the story will have a happy end. I don't know if I should continue reading, something tells me this is going to be depressing.
Maybe Twilight took up the study of anatomy late in life?
I definitely went "What?" but I do feel the rating is overly negative; there is too little to judge it upon at this point. I echo the sentiment used earlier that this story probably shouldn't have been submitted without a couple more chapters included.
@Stephen Agreed, I'd had a more intensive review of the chapter but it was eaten by blogger.
The long and short of it is, the prelude really gives the fic and creepy/depressing framing story.
There is also massive mood whiplash from the pre/interlude and the actual chapter.
Another issue is that the characters and situations (in all parts of the story so far) seem out of place and/or out of character. In my opinion, the characters of Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were all under-utilized.
Now, despite my criticisms I did think that the premise was intriguing. However, I was also put off by the framing story, and how strangely the characters were acting.
Now if the strangeness of the characters and the plot is explained later then what I have just said will be largely irrelevant. So I hope the author doesn't give up on this, but takes the criticisms into account and attempts to improve this story.
@3WhiteFox3
Author here. I do appreciate the more constructive criticism I've seen thus far. Hopefully things will be cleared up as more is written.
It's been a very long time since I've written any fiction, so, I suppose I got a little overzealous and sent this in a tad early.
And yes, I did perhaps front-end the dark a little heavily in the prelude.
As for characters acting OOC; In the Pre/Interludes I'm not surprised, they are meant to happen LONG after the bulk of the fic after everyone is a bit worn down.
I am a little more concerned about this in the main chapters so thank you for pointing it out.
I definitely went "What?" but I do feel the rating is overly negative; there is too little to judge it upon at this point. I echo the sentiment used earlier that this story probably shouldn't have been submitted without a couple more chapters included.
3 dissapointments
Just because you can send in a fanfiction after 3000 words, does not mean you should do so. This was about 3100 words and seemed even less with the 3 small unconnected chapters. I think the minimum should be raised to at least 5000 words, but I guess the pre-readers have to decide about that.
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
seriously. what?
@Flatterscheu i must agree.... WAT
@3WhiteFox3
Author here. I do appreciate the more constructive criticism I've seen thus far. Hopefully things will be cleared up as more is written.
It's been a very long time since I've written any fiction, so, I suppose I got a little overzealous and sent this in a tad early.
And yes, I did perhaps front-end the dark a little heavily in the prelude.
As for characters acting OOC; In the Pre/Interludes I'm not surprised, they are meant to happen LONG after the bulk of the fic after everyone is a bit worn down.
I am a little more concerned about this in the main chapters so thank you for pointing it out.
Holy double-posts, Batmare!
I think the fandom was not ready for this, or something. I was blown away by the opening, but then I live for nonstandard storytelling techniques. I can't wait to see more of this!
Short, to the point.... now to just find out what the point is.
This has indeed piqued mine interests.
Uhhhhh are all these stories connected? Im kinda confused right now
The story starts with an old Twilight ''touching'' a pony who's BARELY adult...
Now I see why the rating is low...
The story starts with an old Twilight ''touching'' a pony who's BARELY adult...
Now I see why the rating is low...
Short, to the point.... now to just find out what the point is.
This has indeed piqued mine interests.
Holy double-posts, Batmare!
I think the fandom was not ready for this, or something. I was blown away by the opening, but then I live for nonstandard storytelling techniques. I can't wait to see more of this!
My thoughts after reading:
"ooooooookkkkkkkkkk?"
Riiiight-eee-ohhhh then...
I am wat.
First we have the implication of Twi gettin' it on with her young student, then we have standard 'sleepover' shenanigans, then we have Dash as a writer (?) and Twilight dead from substance abuse.
I think I'll refrain from rating this until we've got more chapters.
I'm... not saying it's bad, it's just... what?
What's to get? The Chapters are forward moving present era, the interlude/preludes are forward moving after Twilight is an old mare, apparently dying between prelude and interlude one. It's not rocket science here people
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