Friday, October 28, 2011

Story: Of Two Minds (Update Story Two Complete!)


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Author: C. Theron Vulpin
Description: Taking a very different perspective on the term "Twixie," this is the tale of a mind-swap spell gone wrong.

Of Two Minds

Additional Tags: Magical Mishap, NOT Twilight's Fault!

Story Two After the break!


[Normal] Story 2
Description: In the weeks following the defeat of Discord, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony have been worked to the bone tracking down and cleaning up the pockets of chaos that somehow avoided the spell that sealed Discord away. After so much hard work, a week’s vacation in Manehatten is a welcome and well-deserved break.
However, Discord’s influence was not limited to Ponyville and Canterlot. After chasing an oversized squirrel into the Silver Halter Theater, the girls discover that the Spirit of Disharmony has one more “game” for them to play, with a twist that Twilight finds disturbingly familiar.
Multi-Mental in Manehatten (New Chapter 6+epilogue)


Additional Tags: MMO taken to the next level

102 comments:

Flatterscheu said...

NOT Twilight's Fault?
Amazing.
Gonna read that :3

Fawful said...

Sweet, this is out, and... I'm not credited for the idea? Vulpin, Y U NO credit me?

C. Theron Vulpin said...

@Fawful
Sorry Fawful.

Yes readers, Fawful there came up with the idea for this and let me run with it.

Anonymous said...

Not Twilight's fault? Wait, what?

Anonymous said...

The premise of this seemed similar to a fic I started writing a long time ago. Well, at least the idea of Trixie and Twilight swapping bodies and empathizing with eachother. But then you took it in an interesting direction with them both being in the same body. I really like where this one's going.

NinesTempest said...

@Vanguard
There can be any number of reasons someone could have something like that favorited.

lets not be judgemental guys, lol.

Also, feeding troll.

Miyajima said...

To be honest, writing stories usually involves fake things, be it characters, setting or historical liberties.

So, hell, why not ponies.

Anonymous said...

Nice fic man and I'm going to be looking forward to the next chapters.

Erroneous said...

Wow, I'm right in the middle of writing a second chapter of a fic where Twilight and Trixie switching bodies is the main premise. Well this bites. Its a good thing this guy's story is so different, and that my story has technically hit the internet first, or else I might have to stop writing it completely. I hope that when I submit mine to ED that no one thinks I'm copying. :/

Anonymous said...

NOT TWILIGHT'S FAULT.

I read it and it was not twilight's fault.

Solstice Equinox said...

Good Fanfic, I will read more when it comes out.

Hehe, such pitiful trolls.

Ekevoo said...

Already told my opinion on the IRC channel, but:

I like it =3 The challenge talk got me frowning about some bitter memories (OMM), but you handled your premise pretty well. The shared mind was way more organized than my previous experiences on the matter.

Anonymous said...

Well, I've put this on my list of must-reads.

Seems like it should be a fun read...

Anonymous said...

@Vanguard

Where's da proof bro?

Detoxicity said...

Oh great Twilight screws up ano-... Wait a minute..
*Reads tags*
>NOT Twilight's Fault!
>NOT Twilight's

Well then, I guess I'll have to give this a shot then.

Mickey said...

Not bad at all, good foundation laid out for the story, and everyone seems to be in character so far. I do believe I will be checking out further updates as they become available.

Bugsydor said...

@Rainbow Crash:
Personally, I found the failtrolls to be hilarious in a "lolwut?" Sort of way. However, I see your point. I would rather read comments about the story (read: on topic) than comments about whether one prefers pics of naked humans to pics of naked anthropomorphic animals. I figure that as long as people keep that kind of stuff to EqAD, then I don't care.

On topic:
Liking this fic so far. The setup for all this is well done, and the first conflict looks like it will be interesting indeed. While I was at first horrified that Pinkie Pie would be the first to bump into them after the accident, I later realized that her nature probably makes her the easiest of the mane cast to deal with in this situation.

Bugsydor said...

Well, that was weird...it seems that the comment I was replying to as well as the anonymous troll comments have disappeared.

Twilight Sparkle said...

*reads tags* NOT my fault?
...I'm reading this on principal.
And I like it.A very interesting take on the "Body/mind swap gone wrong".
But this sort of thing is dependent on what happens later... I shall wait and make my judgment after about chapter 4 or 5.

WavemasterRyx said...

I'm so happy the anon-troll comments got deleted, they made me quite sad, and this story didn't deserve it.

Seems like a pretty nice start, I'll be interested to see where it goes.

Rainbow Crash said...

@Bugsydor

Funny story, I didn't have a real account until just now so my comment vanished along with the troll.

On topic: Have to reserve judgement until there is, you know, some meat to this story. Great teaser though.

Rekiara said...

I like it so far - looking forward to seeing more =D

Cold in Gardez said...

I was pleasantly surprised by this one. The two-minds-in-one-body thing was done very well.

Melodia said...

LOL, MMO.

I like it, though I'm a big fan of these type of stories in general. I do think a few things were a bit rushed...but otherwise looking forward to more.

Wierdplatformer said...

This is very good, and I'm not surprised that you beat my own fanfic in rating! While I was reading, I thought, at least, Pinkie Pie isn't there... I spoke to soon.

Sindri said...

Very nice so far. Characterization seems good, what's out so far is funny, and I look forward to further installments.

Frisby said...

I'm really enjoying the story so far, this is good stuff.

RainbowDat said...

This would actually be a good basis for an episode. Very entertaining.

banannagram said...

I bet it would be easier if Trixie's body had Trixie's voice all the time.

DPV111 said...

Great story. Look forward to more.

CTVulpin said...

@banannagram
Perhaps, but it wouldn't be as fun to write. :P

DJ VS-3 said...

Trying to picture this as an episode...

It's a good episode.

Stanley Ignatius Richards said...

I don't know... their personalities were fleshed out in the first chapter but it seemed like they became nearly identical (personality wise) after the second chapter. That's just how I feel.

Also, people seem to portray Twilight as a serious and hardworking pony, forgetting the times she outright bursts into cheerful glee. So at times she's like a more intelligent Applejack, and at times she's 20% of Pinkie Pie. Most writers tend to stick to only the former.

Sad.

RainbowDat said...

Chapter 4 - Good work. You're really showing off some talent here.

lakilester00 said...

Somehow I can't stop reading this.

CTVulpin said...

@lakilester00 you say that like it's a bad thing...

lakilester00 said...

@CTVulpin Nope, it's a good thing.

KTS said...

Chapter 5 already.

So far you set everything good. I would have reacted the same way if I was as rash as Rainbow was.

Alchat said...

I lol'ed when Spike called them by the name shipping name Twixie, but alas, what would you call them if you were to lazy to decide which was currently dominant.

Trunklord said...

I'm happy a new chapter is out, I just suggest adding more content to them, since it didn't go too much further than the last chapter.

Ekevoo said...

Dat ponynapper Rainbow!
I'd cheer for her, but it's Twilight's problem too! Poor Twi!

CTVulpin said...

@Trunklord
Sorry. I guess I've gotten too focused on word counts...

DPV111 said...

I think I like where this is going... Is there a Trixie vs Gilda catfight looming on the horizon?

KTS said...

Trixie and Gilda fighting next story.

Man Trixie is going to end up earning her spot again. While Pinkie Pie, was cheering Trixie up in the midst of her "defeat" in Ponyville. The Griffons are attacking the town wrecking it.

banannagram said...

Is the OC the one in the story where Luna absorbs the internet? He seems pretty well played.

CTVulpin said...

Huh? Oh. NO. Ashen Blaze is from Order-naries.

DPV111 said...

@banannagram
Which you should definitely read. It's awesome.
It's 3 stories in 3 genres. And some very well done OCs.

@CTVulpin
Pretty awesome ending to a decent story. I love how it was spinoff-y.

BlankFlankBrony said...

Second story? *fanbrony squeal*

Sindri said...

Here we go again...
Now will they all be shoved into one incredibly complicated gestalt or paired up?

DPV111 said...

Oh god. It's not over! squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

ultra8 said...

Okay..Ninja squirels.
For that alone you'd get a 4-star.

Party Favors said...

Oh my word STORY TWO!
-hops around excitedly-

Wierdplatformer said...

Very nice ending to the first story!

You really stepped it up a notch in the second story. I really like it!

Also, Trixie eating a pinecone?! I wonder where you could have gotten that! ;P

forkinyoureye said...

>Read the second story
>"Rodent of unusual size"

http://myfacewhen.com/115/

DaB. said...

I love it already :-). Great first chapter of the 2nd story.

KTS said...

Story 2 Ninja Squirrel:Okay and it mastered Naruto's techniques. :P

SIaanme said...

Loved the first story, looks like I'm going to enjoy the second one.

"Somepony wasn't a hundred percent committed to the spell."
They never should have tried separating Pinkie from her chocolate rain.

Cedric Bale said...

Hey, the sequel has Discord in it! In a believable way! Without being some ridiculous ship! That makes this the first fanfic with Discord that I'm actually LIKING. Kudos!

DPV111 said...

Chapter 2 is up.

Sindri said...

Oh this will be fun.

KTS said...

Twilight:Rainbow Dash get out of my head.
Fluttershy:Pinkie Pie don't party to much in there.
Applejack:Don't make a mess, Rarity!

NejinOniwa said...

Fluttershy with Pinkie inside...
This can't end well.

Tundra said...

If I've said it once, I've said it a billion times.
I. Hate. Discord.

DJ VS-3 said...

Pinkie trapped inside Fluttershy's head?

Poor Fluttershy...

DJ VS-3 said...

Also, on a side note: someone should make pictures for this.

BlankFlankBrony said...

Hmmm... of the three items, I think I know what the second one is: pearls.

Scary Scott said...

this is looking to be an interesting story in general, I liked the first one a lot, and did not really expect there to be a sequel, but I am happy that there is one, AND that it ties in with Discord! So much WIN!

DaB. said...

If somebody wonders too, where the update is: The author extended the 2nd chapter – go (re-)read it, it is worth.

To have Pinkie in your head is like hell, I can imagine.

Sketch Scribbles said...

i've heard that description used in a riddle before. #2 is a pearl necklace.

haven't a clue what 1 & 3 re though...

KTS said...

I think I figured out #1 and #3. But it can be wrong too
1. Cinnamon or Nutmeg
2. Pearl
3. Thunder(I think)

Whitbane said...

Just a great story all around.
You've got me hooked.

Magnanimous said...

I wonder what would happen if Rincewind the Wizzard met The Great and Powerful Trixie...

Anypony?

CTVulpin said...

@Magnanimous
Hmm... How about you take that idea and run with it? I think we could use another Discworld cross-over.

Magnanimous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Magnanimous said...

@CTVulpin Well, I would, but I've submitted about 4 fanfics, all varied, and they were all rejected. I should prolly take that as a sign to leave it to the professionals.

ultra8 said...

Well we see what happens if they try to purchase anything that could possibly help them in getting their items. Nearly fell out of my chair during the money scene.

I'm curious about that other voice, either Discord's developed a split personality or he's playing with someone (possibly his harmonious counterpart?).

KTS said...

Love the bit with AppleJack's hat.

Kile Anderson said...

I've read the first 3 chapters of this and so far, this fic reminds me of Stephanie Meyer's "The Host" Have you ever read that before? Maybe drew on that for inspiration? Or is it all just coincidence?

CTVulpin said...

@Kile Anderson
Coincidence. Multi-mental was inspired by the earlier story and a TS-as-RD pic I saw.

KTS said...

Fluttershy fighter of Bears and keeping order within the world of Equestria.
Ha Pinkie Sense and the Stare.

ultra8 said...

So if Pinkie has the Pinkie sense and her sister can sense auras then what can sister#3 do?
Eitherway that was a fun read. Fluttershy keeping order and Pinkie being her regularly random self they're like a living representation of balance.

So far the 1st success in Discord's little game, so that just leaves Rarijack and Rainlight still in play.

minty said...

Interesting ideas presented in this fic. I like the buildup of the plot nearing the end of chapter 5. Concluding with a letter was really sweet
However, i feel that the full potential of the mind swap idea has not been fully utilized. More focus can be put on how twilight's friends are convinced that trixie has put some terrible spell on twilight, throwing trixie into hot soup and further deepening the plot. Perhaps twilight shouldn't have her own voice while being in trixie, making things even more complicated. Then there'll be a lot of things that can happen.
it's still a good read though, i just feel it has the potential to become better. (:

Sindri said...

Hmm. How did Twi/dash get food without money changing hooves?

TheMagister said...

"It would be like if I found the dial marked "Awesome," turned it up to eleven, then tore it off and ran away laughing!"
That line right there needs to be the show.

TheMagister said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melodia said...

@Sindri

Because them eating wasn't doing anything to help complete their task, outside of the whole "continuing to live" factor.

KTS said...

hmmm I am going to say this Rainbow Dash makes a good teacher.

Tenyo Sciurus said...

Very strange, very interesting, well written, creative, applaudable fidelity to the characters. Well done.

"Girls, would be so kind as to help me?"

Fantastic. ^_^

DPV111 said...

Aww right! That was a fun story. Twi got to fly! AJ used magic! See ya when you're ready for more CTV.

Draco Dei said...

SPOILER ALERT!!!!



Going to go the opposite of my usual review style and just say that the overall motivation of Story 2 feels like an excuse. Perhaps you could do better if you put more discussion between the two voices at the start maybe... something to flesh out why they are even having this conversation... I mean one of them shouldn't be ABLE and the other shouldn't be WILLING if one takes the most obvious interpretations. Despite all this it is a reasonably interesting story.

A little on the later chapters I guess...
"Who the hay was that other guy?
-Guy? I assumed it was Celestia...

Fred M. Sloniker said...

I'm reading 'Of Two Minds' now, and I'm a trifle confused. There keep being references to Trixie's second visit to Ponyville, but I don't believe I've read that story...

LastOfLancas said...

@Fred M. Sloniker

Meh, keep reading. I didn't read her "second" visit to Ponyville, but was still enjoyable.

In fact, I don't plan to unless the author was going to use that event.

JulienBrightside said...

A story of Two minds is quite entertaining and enjoyable.

DPV111 said...

@Fred M. Sloniker

That was a nod to the events in the author's other story "The Ordernaries".
These stories take place in the same version of Equestria.

KTS said...

I am shocked at the ending. Multiverse meaning more than one universe. Equestria is doomed.

CTVulpin said...

@DPV111
That's "Order-naries," not "The Ordernaries."
I tried to make these stories able to stand on their own, but reading the Order-naries fics (there are three) will help your understanding a little.

Sindri said...

"...it cracked open slightly and a thick pink mist hissed out and surrounded the ponies."
ohshit Pink Clou-
right. Not in Fallout Equestria. Calming down...

Acriaos said...

I liked both stories quite a lot, but the connection to order-naries irked me. The first story was quite fun and built around Trixie and Twilight, but suddenly an OC arrives and fixes everything? That felt really weird.

The second story had the same problem, but it got even worse. I would have liked to see what was behind a character that would be willing to work together with Discord. Instead we have a very vague ending and none of the characters knew what was going on.

Basically they were just given a "gather 10 X" quest by Discord for no discernible reason, then they completed it and that was it, end of story.

minty said...

For the second story:
I agree with @Acriaos that it has a vague and abrupt ending, it needs to be concluded clearly.
Also, theres this huge logical gap in the story: the mane 6 were initially forced into the game as they were confined to the room, but after they were released, why didnt they seek help from Celestia or somepony else? That should be the most obvious choice, given that Discord is unlikely to play fair. I think there should have been at least a small section about how the mane 6 tried to get help but were stopped.
Theres also a lack of emotion. the characters just went around solving their problems and stuff without much feeling. some stretches along chapters 3-5 were a little boring.

On the other hand, i enjoyed the idea of a riddle. the items were all satisfyingly fitting and linked to the characters. The plot was brought out well and there were good links to the traits of each character. Most of the chapters were pretty nicely finished. I think the strength of this fic is the ideas. Nice story :)

Mr.Brony said...

Ugh such a small chapter. Good though.

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