[Grimdark][Shipping] Flashfiction is a little-used story style wherein an author tries to pack as much oopmh into as few words as possible. This pair of stories is quite short, but powerful. Be prepared for what you find inside.
Author: Ebon Mane
Description: The mane six take shelter in a place that is, for now, safe from a disaster occurring outside. This horrifying tale of violence and death is not recommended for colts, fillies, or the faint of heart.
The Cough
Additional Tags: Death and horrifying, haunting ambiguity
[Sad][Implied-Shipping]
Author: Ebon Mane
Description: Celestia returns to a place long abandoned to mourn a great loss.
Crumbling
Additional Tags: Memories, mourning, immortality, decay, loss
55 comments:
Flashfiction shipdark?
...Sounds interesting enough to be a contest.
Read the first one when it was first in the deviant art week thing...it was quite chilling.
The cough broke my heart
I don't typically read grimdarks, but since it was so short, I thought I'd give it a try.
...I regret my decision.
I haven't read a flash fic in a long time. These were both pretty good, but I think the first one was the better of the two.
oh my ... that first one really was something else. second one, well, i played with a similar idea a long time ago but never managed to make it work out.
but oh my, that first one. that was heart wrenching. i ... i think i need a happy now.
Dat last line...
The second on was pretty good, but geez. The Cough. That was fantastic.
I'm...not entirely sure I'll ever recover from The Cough. I should really stop letting fanfiction stomp on my heart so easily.
It's not the cough
That carries you off...
It's the coffin
They carry you off in.
It's fics like that first one that put me in a different mood. It would be right up Poe's alley if it wasn't about ponies.
I read the cough a week ago on Deviantart. A hard impact that cannot be easily forgotten, good job author.
The Cough just really upset me. It kind of caught me off guard a little bit. It is very well written for something so short though.
Both stories were really good. I'm not a big fan of grimdark, and personally liked the second better.
@DJnickbeta
>implying Poe wouldn't be a total brony
The first one was really well set and the atmosphere was astonding. The second one was good as well.
I liked both of them. Short, powerful, and emotional. Excellent reads.
Oh god no.
Flash fiction!?
Now I have to read these. I love flash fiction.
The first one was short, powerful and well timed. E'en though I saw it coming, it was excellently executed. It is this kind of fiction that makes me truly love the short story.
No... jut no.
I just read The Cough. Dear Celestia, please, please let me forget it. It's just too much.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE grimdark! But...The Cough was just a kick in the teeth. It was great, just very very sad. I need a hug. :(
Dang that was heavy, especially The Cough.
Why do I read sadfics? WHY?! I should know better. They were both excellent, though Crumbling affected me more than The Cough. There's just something really upsetting about unhappy alicorns.
I hope I still have something left to read from the Happy Luna ones.
I read The Cough last week and was deeply impressed. THIS is what I want from a Grimdark story, and this is what the genre ought to aspire to. Gorgeous, tangible atmosphere, dread, and a velocity kick in the gut.
Man, this is so good I want to eat it with a rusty fork.
@The Dread Pirate Roberts
That delighted me way more than it should have.
The second one is better as a fic in my opinion.
But the first one should have been written as a poem of some kind, I mean damn.
I read the first one, then stopped myself from digesting it just in time to avoid coming off with much more than the fact that Flutterdash is adorable.
Why do I keep reading fics that make me sad? So good tho.
In that first story, did Fluttershy lie to cover up for somepony else -- or did whatever plague hit Ponyville spread to all the mane six?
Oh, lord, even worse -- they're carriers, equine typhoid Marys.
read this like 2 hours ago, felt compelled to comment
this was very good, but i didnt find it sad, compelling but not sad
and the way rainbow dash kills fluttershy was lackluster
I'm a long-time fan of the horror genre, so The Cough didn't make much of an impression at all, and what impact it did have is due primarily to who was involved (our beloved ponies), rather than what was happening. I think this may be due to the deluge of saw-styled movies in recent years (Which have always annoyed me, yet many others love them - which also seems to be reflected in the weighting of opinions in these comments.).
Crumbling, on the other hand, definitely left a mark. That was a great one: very classic in approach and style.
All in all though, Ebon Mane continues to impress with his growing talent. He's high on my author watch list.
The Cough was my first grimdark, and I was worried that I would hate it or that it would scar me for life or ruin FiM for me.
But it didn't, I loved how well written it was, and how much of an impact it had on me.
Amazing.
@TheLawn
No kidding, that was short but powerful
The Cough was very impressive. I approve.
Something about Crumbling just felt... lacking. It's not something I can put my finger on, but I'm not so sure a story with that kind of focus worked well in terms of flash fiction: even though Celestia's given a motive, it feels out of character for her, since you don't have the space to develop it.
Still, fine work.
I couldnt care less for The Cough. I really dislike Flutterdash pairing....... The only thong that got to me was thinking about how hard it'd be to do that to thw one you loved..... *shivers*
And that fact alone made me glad it wasn't a DashiePie fic. Cause that'd make my total burst-into-pathetic-teara count up to twenty for the day.
At first when I was reading The Crumbling I didn't know it wasn't a sequel to The Cough. I think it works better that way since we see the (horribly devastating) aftermath of The Cough, and it gives Celestia one hell of a reason for leaving.
The Cough.
WHY
A rather pro of flashfics' length, there's not as much time for the plot to grow on to you, so it doesn't last as long.
But the punch is oh so the same.
@BND
I second this...
Wow, I really liked these. Short and sweet really got my attention. Dark isnt really my thing, but I've read too many 'meh' dark stories.
Oh man the cough was too much for me!!! And I don't flinch in the face of gore!!! (real gore for ex, now that stuff is strong) I had so many emotions Going trough me so I'll say them all: I HATE YOU >:^O !!!!!! I loved it :D WTF :S
The Cough was alright. Not a bad read. Though I wish it were a little longer, I imagine the point was that it be so short. Nice work!
Both awesome stories! I love grimdark and sad stories, and these were both very poignant exmples of why.
@Ardashir
The ambiguity is kind of the point.
I read The Cough and had a sad.
Then I read Crumbling and had another sad.
Twilight, y u no immortal?
The Cough... oh my. You could put this on the same shelf with some Edgar Allen Poe, and it would not be out of place. This was truly amazing... and incredibly haunting. I simply sat and stared for awhile after finishing it, unable to do anything else. This story will be with me for a very, very long time.
The Cough is fucking MASTERFUL. WOW!
Shades of Steven King, Poe, and Shirley Jackson.
@BND
this. ;_;
It is well done though. I need some happy Ditsy fic now.
The cough. It made me feel cold inside. I wish I could unread it a little bit.
Crumbling. A bit emotional but not moving for me.
What if they were just coughing from the bag of flour pinkie pie had?
the cough man, oh sleep, how you elude me so.
I'm on the verge a good cry. Just from The Cough.
My view on The Cough:
Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty, coughed. She was too scared to admit it and face certain death. Fluttershy falsely admitted to it because she couldn't take living through seeing her best friend die, and wanted the misery to end. Rainbow Dash didn't want Fluttershy to take the fall, but she knew that she was suffering more than any of the others, and wanted to spare her more suffering. So her loyalty to her allowed her to give Fluttershy peace.
@DesertStar
Then the story gets even more Grimdark.
And well, regarding The Cough, while it didn't affect me as much as some of the others around here, I must admit that it is a fantastic piece. Having such a power with ~1000 words is bloody brilliant. Have my 5 stars!
Wonderful pieces of writing both of them.
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