That was a good read and a good story. I really enjoyed reading it. Even though the last part was... well... enexpected, somebody was apparently taking a bath...
so im interested as to whether or not celestia controlling the burping. cuz if she was it would make it even funnier(meaning that she was being trollestia here)
A nice and fun story overall. I felt sorry for Spike, he got the short end of the stick. It's not like he wanted to hurt anyone.
The ending seemed to come sudden. Kinda-of wished it was at least a couple paragraphs longer. What did Celestia do when she found out? What happened to Spike?
It's not that Celly was taking a bath, but rather that she was belching her way across the castle heading to the medicine chest looking for a remedy. She'd have figured it out pretty quickly after. ;)
She'd not been doing it long enough to figure out what had really happened... but once she did, then absolutely, she'd have done the whole Trollestia bit. ;)
If I weren't sitting by my old man, I'd be giggling like a little girl. This was excellent, and I can only imagine Celestia's response. It's also kinda fun to think of Celestia just running through the castle, giggling, as she burps little things to Twilight.
This is astoundingly funny! I had to wait ten minutes to tell you, because I was rolling on the floor trying to finish the story! Genius!!!!!! It's a scream!
is it wrong that I now wanna see art based on this fic? The idea of Celestia repeatedly letting loose a decidedly-unladylike belch of green fire on random objects, that then land on poor Twilight's head is funny as hell.
This could have been epic. But the "How do YOU think it should end" angle doesn't work for me :P Sure, I can come up with ideas, but it would have been nice to see your take. Ah well. What was there was great, and I can totally picture Rainbow and Pinkie totally loosing it there.
I like the idea, and the story so far is pretty good, but it needs an ending. Sometimes you can leave some things out of an ending for the reader to imagine for themselves, but it doesn't really work here. Here, it seems like the author just couldn't come up with an idea.
I just feel let down. I thought I was reading this great exposition that would get me to a hilarious misadventure. Then I see a page break and an apology. I can't even say the ending was abrupt; It just doesn't feel like it had an ending.
I know some posters seem to think it seems unfinished, but I think the ending as-is works just fine. This would work perfectly as a web-based animated short. Cue an iris-out on Spike's last line.
I loved this story, it made me laugh a lot. However, I really, really dislike when a story, especially one I'm really enjoying, doesn't have a proper ending. It just feels like a cop-out.
39 comments:
Wait, a fic that isn't shipping? That's a first.
Spike creeps me out in that picture.
That was great.
I lol'd
That was a good read and a good story. I really enjoyed reading it. Even though the last part was... well... enexpected, somebody was apparently taking a bath...
Too short, but funny concept. I like it!
so im interested as to whether or not celestia controlling the burping. cuz if she was it would make it even funnier(meaning that she was being trollestia here)
needs more story. It's too silly to end right there.
Sweet a Spike story!!! I like the picture.
A nice and fun story overall. I felt sorry for Spike, he got the short end of the stick. It's not like he wanted to hurt anyone.
The ending seemed to come sudden. Kinda-of wished it was at least a couple paragraphs longer. What did Celestia do when she found out? What happened to Spike?
@RoflLuxRay
It's not that Celly was taking a bath, but rather that she was belching her way across the castle heading to the medicine chest looking for a remedy. She'd have figured it out pretty quickly after. ;)
@Hasido
She'd not been doing it long enough to figure out what had really happened... but once she did, then absolutely, she'd have done the whole Trollestia bit. ;)
Trollestia likely sent spike a basket of gems with a letter stating if he did that again she would send him to the moon.
I am screaming with laughter here.
BAHAHAH that was hilarious XD I hope for more to come.
Hilarious! Needs to be finished!
If I weren't sitting by my old man, I'd be giggling like a little girl. This was excellent, and I can only imagine Celestia's response. It's also kinda fun to think of Celestia just running through the castle, giggling, as she burps little things to Twilight.
Gotta say thanks for this one!
11/10
I lol'd hard.
This needs to be continued!
This is astoundingly funny! I had to wait ten minutes to tell you, because I was rolling on the floor trying to finish the story! Genius!!!!!! It's a scream!
5 stars easily! it did end rather abruptly tho
Ending, pritty pweese?
Man, who dares troll the great and powerful Trollestia? This was pretty funny.
Flawless Victory.
Wonderfully fun!
I never read fan-fics, but I read this one. I really liked it and want to do an "ending" to it, if you like
Looking at this from a writer's perspective, trying to top the comedy of the fic up to this point would be difficult.
Still, it felt like the moral was more about treating your friends better. For that reason, this story should probably have an ending...
I haven't laughed at a fic so hard in awhile, but it actually left me sad to see you don't intend to finish it.
is it wrong that I now wanna see art based on this fic? The idea of Celestia repeatedly letting loose a decidedly-unladylike belch of green fire on random objects, that then land on poor Twilight's head is funny as hell.
Spike
You win at pranking. Forever.
Enjoy your victory, cause you're not going to have much time to live.
This could have been epic. But the "How do YOU think it should end" angle doesn't work for me :P Sure, I can come up with ideas, but it would have been nice to see your take. Ah well. What was there was great, and I can totally picture Rainbow and Pinkie totally loosing it there.
I like the idea, and the story so far is pretty good, but it needs an ending.
Sometimes you can leave some things out of an ending for the reader to imagine for themselves, but it doesn't really work here. Here, it seems like the author just couldn't come up with an idea.
@The Letter J
Had plenty of ideas, some of which folks had already thought of.
Sorry it didn't work for you, though!
Perhaps next time.
@ The Letter J
Besides, I wanted to try something different.
As it didn't work.. well, lesson learned, yes? How else are we to improve?
@The Mechanic Would you want people to send you there own versions of an ending?
I just feel let down. I thought I was reading this great exposition that would get me to a hilarious misadventure. Then I see a page break and an apology. I can't even say the ending was abrupt; It just doesn't feel like it had an ending.
Definitely a funny little story.
I know some posters seem to think it seems unfinished, but I think the ending as-is works just fine. This would work perfectly as a web-based animated short. Cue an iris-out on Spike's last line.
I loved this story, it made me laugh a lot.
However, I really, really dislike when a story, especially one I'm really enjoying, doesn't have a proper ending. It just feels like a cop-out.
"One of these days Spike, bang! zoom! Straight to the moon!"
I enjoyed that ;D
Great, it's rare a fanfiction really makes me laugh, but this is so genius it should be used for an episode in season 2 !
i agree with Dionusus also... MOAR this needs a sequel or a final bit at least
Nicely done! Now this is a concept that could be used in the story.
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