[Shipping][Comedy] Dashiepie Time! Butterscotch sent the EQdaily Safe version this time, so it's relatively tame. The more mature version can be found in the description on the DA page!
Author: Butterscotch Sundae
Description: Alternate Ending to the Episode "Party of One". Dash arrives at Sugarcube Corner to find Pinkie Pie holding a crazy party for herself with make-believe guests, but when the Pegasus tries to get her to come to Sweet Apple Acres where her other friends are waiting to spring a surprise party of their own, she discovers she has her work more than cut out for her.Deviant Art
Party of Two
Google Documents
Party of Two
Additional Tags: Shipping Pinkie Pie Pinkamina Rainbow Dash comedy
85 comments:
Alternative endings are fun.
First, I think?
Butterscotch Sundae? I remember her from that interview/essay thing, she writes borderline clopfics eh? Not really my thing but that description is too juicy to pass up.
>Butterscotch sent the EQdaily Safe version this time
That heavily implies that Butterscotch sent the NSFW version first. I'm not sure what to think about this.
Yeah about that interview thing. whats the point of interviewing a clopfic writer? can't we get an interview with a writer people wanna hear from? Like idk, maybe the guy who writes fallout equestria or the Luna progress series. seems like it was just a blatant attempt to stir up controversy.
She writes actual clopfics. Cloppiness aside, it's good writing.
When Madame Le Flour said, "Oui. Zat iz correct, madame." I was compelled to pull out my FiM Soundboard just to play that quote.
There's a pony for that."
Guys, I have to imagine that if there was a place to bitch about the interview, it would probably be the news article that talked about the interview.
Anyways, am I a bad enough dude to read the original version?
Absolutely.
Right on Tenchi! I might as well read both. Just to compare them in an objective manner of course...
Need to be a member to view mature art
:/
@TenchiFreak5 Following your lead
I read this story before it was posted on here. Not only is it mediocre, but no way in fucking HELL is any version of that story appropriate for this site.
I think the motif "All Pony Fit to Print" is lone gone for EqD.
Note from a pre-reader: We did not receive this story for checking. Seth put it up without running it by us first.
Decidedly lackluster. She can do better than this, that's obvious. The confession was clunky and had no build up, all the drama was forced, and then it just devolved into a not-quite-SFW snogfest. 3 stars, if only due to the fact that I didn't hate it outright or find any technical errors.
Wow some of you are so critical, this is why I have never worked up the nerve to actually send in any fics :p
I dunno, I liked it. And I liked the call-back to the cake inscription from the original episode.
It's sad to say, both are very... well.. normal, boring almost in how they are like 30 other fics in the same category. It felt... empty... It made me sad this morning when I read it.
Then I found the pony for that. :P
Sorry Butters...
@Anonymous
I know that feel bro(ny).
@Anonymous
Do you write clopfics? Because I think that's what most of the people here are getting worked up about.
Just finished reading the original version.
For what it is, it's great. Great writing as always.
I laughed at the writing on the cake part.
Well, I enjoyed both versions. Does she have better stories? Certainly.
Is this soooo borderline clop-fiction that its not appropriate for EqD? Nah.
Honestly, this version is intense but there is absolutely no way it merits the "no way in hell" reaction to it being here... the other version though... heh.
Yeah, that one should stay in DA; might give someponies here anything from a heart attack to a *spits the tea and monocle falls off* reaction.
Thanks for the story Butterscotch!
~Bueno~
On the one hand, I love her work and find her to be a brilliant author, with a bit of a quirk in the sense of her writing clopfics... On the other, I don't want to read a clopfic, a honest to God clopfic... The first one I tried to read was disturbing enough... Oh, what the hell... Might as well.
Kindle format:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/t69we7l577n6rt3/Party%20of%20Two%20%5BEQD%5D.mobi
This is the EQdaily safe version of the story.
Well. I can certainly see why this one required the alterations for it to be ED friendly. I did read both versions, though.
That being said, I don't think this one was very good at all. There was none of the typical wit I've come to expect from a Buttersc0tch story, nor was there really much in the way of clever usage of the canon characters in this story (I mean, there was a little bit, but not nearly enough).
It basically was just "Party of One, except Pinkie and Dash have sex before they go to the birthday party." There's nothing technically wrong with it, I suppose, but I read Buttersc0tch stories because they are Buttersc0tch stories. And outside of a few paragraphs (the bit with Madame Le Flour and Mr. Turnip perhaps being the best example), this really didn't feel that much like a Buttersc0tch story.
This was OK I guess. It was pretty unoriginal and pointless, and the characters were off, and it was pretty blah to read. But it wasn't stupid so it was better than I expected for BSS, so good job I guess.
@TenchiFreak5
This is because the not-clean version has TERRIBLE TERRIBLE puns about Rainbows and Coming.
Those are where the wit was, and the clean version took them out, honestly.
@tenchifreak5: I agree, I've read a couple of her other clops (I really like some of what she did in raritys magic book) and this one didn't quite sit right with me. Pinkie felt the most out of character (perhaps moreso as pinkamina)
Altogether it was really well done, other than those minor gripes; 3-4 stars overall.
@anon: ponies do want to hear from an author as great as BSS, even if she does clopfics, honestly if nobody wanted it it wouldn't exist. Though I would be interested in interviews with author; perhaps less controversial authors.
I'm dawwwwing and grimacing at the same time... I don't know how that's possible... It's a good feeling, though quite strange... On to the "Extended" story...
Oh good, I kept reading waiting for it to turn into "Cupcakes". Thanks for keeping me in terrified suspense
little teasing but nothing too Mature
good story
Seth, little tip/idea: Maybe you should make a tag for the clopfics like "lite-clopfic",
As the grimdarks some people don´t like fancis that strong so you should add that tag
for me no problema
Ahhhh, nothing like another Butterscotch classic on a Friday night. *ahem*
Anyone give me a link to Butterscotch's other "clopfics"? I seem to have a hankerin' for some cloppiness on top of all the adventure and back story ive been reading today. Shipping and Cloppiness will do my heart good!
And Valmir always stands alone and alert, ready to strike at a moments notice, should evil arrive.
Valmir's full name is Valmir Ansel, hes a Paladin figure really. Doesnt know many spells, but hes handy with a mace and shield :) Need protection in the everfree forest? I vote we all adventure looking for the old EverFree Castle >:) maybe slay some undead while we are out!
@Anonymous
Just another checkmark in the "violence good sex bad" category it seems...
As for the story, I have to agree with the other comments. Hard to believe this is the same author as The Party Never Ended. This fic...
(but perhaps I'm biased because foodplay is a squick of mine)
Hi everyone,
Thanks for reading! *looks sternly at the few anons who perhaps commented without having read the story*
Firstly, I wrote a specifically "cloplite" version for my fans on EqD and those who prefer only a little clop in their stories. I didn't send the other version since I am aware of EqD's posting guidelines, which is something perhaps others should educate themselves about.
This was an experimental little piece trying to write an erotic version of an episode, and obviously it had a few teething problems - probably trying to mash my version of the characters into the true canon ones wasn't all that successful. I shall try to do better next time! I have a few other ideas for alternate episode ending and perhaps I'll get better at them the more I do.
Also, mfw I'm described as a "controversial author" = XD
@anon 8.37 pm Just send in your story! If you can't learn to take criticism, especially when it's justified as most of these criticisms are, you'll never be able to become a good writer.
I'm prepared to enter the shitstorm again!
I'm at a loss as to why you would have the desire to write or read clopfiction. I mean, it's erotic Pony stories. You guys you the defence of "It's well written!" but let's be honest, do you go to the library and rent an erotic book for the plot? I doubt it. And your going to say "It's romance though." You know, if somebody can convey romance without the use of sex, I'd be much more impressed. And, you going to say "Sex is bad, but violence is good!" And I reply, it's not because all sex is bad, it's just because it's being projected onto colourful ponies from a girls show. And finally, if you find these stories arousing, just think for one second "Why am I doing this?"
@Melodia
Oh no no no
maybe I didn´t express my self quite well
English not my mane lenguage anyway...
What I tried to say is that some people doesn´t like grimdarks or clopfics or both. The important diference is that in ED and as many other pages we see a lot of grimdarks and even are sub grmdarks tags example: grimwar, lite-grimdarks, etc... and for what I have been around of ED I had just saw one or maybe two clopfics that only tease but didn´t show actually explicit sex (for me is the borderline between what I like and not but changes between people)so what I tried to recomend is that Seth ad a tag for clopfics and just avoid the explicit sexual fics as he avoid the way to grimdarks (example: cupcakes (yes I know he posted it but it was only because people keept asking for it)
what I tried to say is: violence, sex they are no traid equal but they shoul and as grimdark has it´s tag and some are avoided because they are wey to explicit that what should happend with clopfics: made a tag and avoid the way to explicit
Eh, not Buttersc0tch's best work.
Butterscotch never disappoints.
I think violence and violent death are disgusting concepts that aren't in the spirit of MLP:FIM. I think we should ban all grimdark stories, regardless of content. After all, what SICK, DISGUSTING MONSTER would write about ponies enduring violence and pain?! God!
... see how that works out? See what happens when you paint an entire genre like "Grimdark" or "Shipping" with a giant stroke of a brush? Don't do it. It can easily be turned against you, and having people turn on each other is NOT what this site is supposed to foster.
For those who don't like BSS's work: just don't read them. Leave this comment section. Read something else. Go outside. Do whatever. Just stop ranting on and on about how she's a horrible person who should be ashamed of herself. That will just breed a bunch of argumentative behaviour and divisive bullcrap which will sully the good nature of this site.
If you don't like shipping or grimdark, DON'T READ THEM. It's as simple as that! You ARE NOT the harbingers of morality, and nor am I, for that matter. NOBODY IS. So please, just take a step back, breathe, and go elsewhere.
... I'm really sorry it's devolved into this Buttersc0tch. :(
@SyrinKitty
But aren't we allowed to express ourselves?
@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony: I'm referring to the people verbally attacking Buttersc0tch.
@SyrinKitty
Well, they have the right to express themselves, though.
(choose to royally ignore whatever weird stupidity is going on above)
Party of 2 (the ''other'' version) :
>pushing back with all her might against Dash's head with her big round rump
-Heh, this is where ''it'' starts, hum ? ;)
>AND almost been smothered to death by an enormous pink rump!
-I say it's the fault of all the sweets she eats ;) Not that it's a bad thing. ;)
>In a sudden explosion of pink energy, Pinkie's tail puffed up again
-POPCORN ! ...sorry ;), each time I see the episode I think that. :)
>on the floor of Sugarcube Corner
-As in the ''general location'' of Sugar Cube Corner, I suppose ? Because, in the episode, the Pinkamina Party happens in her room/loft section (upstairs), not in the 'shop' section (downstairs/ground level).
>"My wings are totally ticklish! Oh!"
-Ahh, RD's wings, definitely can't go and forget that. ;)
>down across Pinkie's round tummy
-Her rump, and now her tummy. Pudgy Pinky ? Not that I mind, really ;)
>"Oh Dashie, I'm not a Twinkie Pie! I don't have a creamy filling!"
-Ok, I must say it : *Ah, the joke ! It burns !* ;)
... Well ? That's what I would call a new and succesful *Rainbow Dash x Pinky Pie* (*Rainbow Pie* does sound good) story :) ...
... Full of bits of silly-funny stuff, plenty of, hum, ''adorable'' and cute moments ;) (no ''direct'' mention of the famous RD's sudden *wing popping* ?). Certainly an enjoyable story :) ...
You know what bugs me, that they're writing erotic fanfiction in character, and the character constantly display traits of young girls. To me, that's damn creepy.
Ah, yes, the "Don't like it, don't watch/listen to/read/play it" defense. As long as you are so unimaginably stupid as to think you can have a reaction to something you haven't actually experienced, it's a very cunning and valid argument. Anyone even remotely familiar with how the concept of Cause and Effect works, though, probably has too much common sense to prescribe to this utterly bogus defense that ranks up there with the infamous "Well, I'd like to see YOU do better!" and "I am rubber, you are glue!" arguments.
Never mind guys, I found her Deviant art...
LOL
@The RPGenius
Somebody objecting to the hive minded values of EQD? BURN THE HERETIC
@The RPGenius: Sarcasm and personal attacks don't actually further your argument at all, you know.
@SyrinKitty
Perhaps you should go to the "everybody holds hands and loves each other club" of the internet. Oh wait, your already here.
@SyrinKitty
Ah, but they don't actually hurt my argument, either, so long as its logic is clear, solid, reasonable, and exceedingly simple--which it is! Very nice attempt to redirect attention, though. Not nearly so obvious as that gaping hole in your argument that I pointed out, albeit impolitely.
@The RPGenius: Your argument is "I'm a hater, and I'm gonna hate," and you dressed it up with ad hominem's and sarcastic, aggressive language which amounted to "deal with it." But in the end, it's still pretty much boiler-plate trolling.
Can we agree to disagree and move on? No? Okay. Time for bed anyways. Goodnight.
People, stop replying to trolls. Any comments here that don't involved butterscotch's story are by definition off-topic.
Take it elsewhere.
@Anonymous]
Because negative opinion=TROLL
I still say Equestria After Dark should be updated and more managed as its big sister is.
Luna for mascot, pls.
@butterscotchsundae
I'm really starting to get pissed off because when i try to read some of your fics, it goes to a 403 forbidden page! I think it's bull$*%# that I can't read the fics I want to read!
Anon, check out her Fimchan thread:
http://fim.413chan.net/fic/res/2598.html
There are always links to the googledocs versions of things
=9
Yummy~
@Anonymous
I am literally speechless
I have written four fanfics, two of which I'm pretty proud of. But I would not dare send ANY of them in, because everyone's far too critical.
Stop the hatin'! It's time to start lovin'!
@Anonymous
Given the subject matter of the story your commenting on, I'd rather not.
@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony
Only people who post under anonymous are trolls.
Okay maybe I went a little too far and I apologize and thank you anon for the fanfic link.
Forgive me Seth, because I will pun.
This fanfic was really sweet X3
I couldn't help but compare it to another alternate Party of One ending where it's Fluttershy instead of Dash (found it in my Docs history as "Tell Me Where it Hurts" but don't see it on EqD).
This one is more... I'm not sure. Straightforward? It breaks down into:
- events of Party of One
- Dash: I love you
- Pinkie: I love you too! Let's make out!
- NSFW scene (optional)
- Oh hey, we're supposed to get to a party.
I read that NSFW version of this story and I have to say that it really made my day. There are not enough of these simple, light-hearted, goofy ship fics out there. My only complaints are that Dash's admission of love seems a little forced and there are a few bits here and there where the wording feels awkward. Otherwise, I love the writing, particularly during the 'Let's make out!' bit and that pun... oh god that pun. It is so wonderfully awful!
@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony
"I'm at a loss as to why you would have the desire to write or read clopfiction. I mean, it's erotic Pony stories"
It's fun.
"You guys you the defence of "It's well written!" but let's be honest, do you go to the library and rent an erotic book for the plot? I doubt it."
While I don't get them from my local library, I do read erotic stories for the plot (when there is one) and the characters.
"And your going to say "It's romance though." You know, if somebody can convey romance without the use of sex, I'd be much more impressed."
It's pretty trivial compared to writing sex scenes that aren't awkward or squicky. (Which this story pulls off IMHO.)
"And I reply, it's not because all sex is bad, it's just because it's being projected onto colourful ponies from a girls show."
I fail to see the problem here.
"And finally, if you find these stories arousing, just think for one second 'Why am I doing this?'"
Because it's fun.
Are some of you guys really that hell bent on repeating the same bullshit arguments that were brought up in comments for the interview article? Seriously?
@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony
"I'm at a loss as to why you would have the desire to write or read clopfiction."
I don't have any desire whatsoever. That's why I didn't like this story.
"You guys you the defence of "It's well written!" but let's be honest, do you go to the library and rent an erotic book for the plot?"
Nope. I don't go to the library at all, much less for the purposes of checking out books typically written for middle-aged housewives.
That doesn't mean if I did that I wouldn't find at least some of them to be quality literature.
"You know, if somebody can convey romance without the use of sex, I'd be much more impressed."
Which is probably what the dozens and dozens and dozens of regular shipping stories are for.
"And, you going to say "Sex is bad, but violence is good!" And I reply, it's not because all sex is bad, it's just because it's being projected onto colourful ponies from a girls show."
And violence being projected onto colourful ponies from a girl's show is A-OK? You realize that the clarification does nothing for the double standard, correct?
@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony
It would be nice if people didn't feel the need to derail the comments section of an individual story because they don't quite feel that they got enough of their BS out in the article where their comments were actually relevant.
@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony
Irrelevant negative opinion expressed purely to here yourself talk pretty much is, yes.
@The RPGenius
You would have saved everyone time if you simply said "I'm a Hater. I'm gonna Hate. Nothing you say will keep me from Hating. Deal."
You can't build a community if everyone is afraid of being associated with cartoon pony porn. Shit like this is why I post Anon. I don't want to be associated with this trash. I can't even tell people about the site because I'm afraid something like this will be all over the front page. How long until all the normal people are scared off?
@ButterscotchSundae
Lots of hate around here. I thought we were supposed to love and tolerate? Thanks for writing this, Butterscotch. While, as you said, this one has a few teething problems I think it shows promise for future endeavours.
@Anonymous
Every fandom has porn. It's a product of humanity's sexual nature. The people who produce and consume such media are normal people.
Your fear of being associated with something that isn't hurting anyone is your damage.
There is to be something rotten in this kingdom, for people to go around like crazy monkeys flinging poop everywhere at everyone, at the first signs of -slightly/midly- suggestive story ?
Shake your head sadly and pick your bet, for apparently the *Love and Tolerance* seems to be used only by some people, when it is convinient for them.
@Sordid Euphemism
This isn't ponychan, people are allowed to have different opnions.
I think...
@Anonymous
She isn't a clopfic writer though.
Makes me wonder how many of the people here are over 18
I think the DA link is broken, it says it's "forbidden".
This was pretty disappointing. I think I found Cupcakes more entertaining.
Oh wait a minute, I know what the problem is. It's PinkieDash! It's the worst ship and as such, all fanfiction of them suck. Especially any fanfiction where they fuck.
So. Cloppy. Otherwise fluffy as hell. This is why PinkieDash is awesome.
Also very glad that I didn't decide to title my fic Party of Two.
@Anonymous
You'd be amazed how few people actually give a shit.
@Anonymous
Not really
@Anonymous
*Boot to the Head* with extra sharp and pointy spikes, and Extra Onions for the crazy ''gentleman''.
''The-story-that-shall-not-be-named'', seriously ?
Talk of half-hidden insults ?
Every time I read one of Butterscotch's fanfics, a piece of pure darkness is chipped away from my soul.
At this rate, I'm never gonna get my grimdark fanfic written... *sadface*
Yeah, I have to agree with what's been said by others: this just didn't quite FEEL like a BSS story. Just...something was missing. I'm not sure what, but some certain magic wasn't in place. Still a good story, though, but not on par with her other stuff.
my little trolls : derailing is magic
Well, this was the first time I read this "kind" of fanfics, so here is my opinion:
Do true bronies like and support this?, I'm 19 and I cannot believe it, I thought bronies had more respect to MLP.
I mean, mix adult and sex stuff with MLP:FiM characters?, I don't know what to say, but I think that's one of many reasons why the rest of the people think we are such a freaky perverts.
I dont know, but I would feel very ashamed if I show this to my father (he knows that I love MLP), and telling him ""hey dad, do you know that actual bronies enjoy this kind of stories, ohh, and they find funny "rule 34", you know, pony porn!, ohh and they enjoy commenting sexual refences on every video about MLP characters on youtube?"" really guys?
Be gently if you are gonna talk with me, also, sorry If I wrote bad english.
:ppdisappoint:
:rdisappoint:
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