[Comedy] "short and simplistic... but on the other hand it does what it sets out to do and doesn't overstay its welcome." - Pre-reader #12
Author: CloudWander
Description: Three Earth Ponies ponder the origins of Pegasus Ponies in general and Rainbow Dash in particular. Science! Conspiracy! Scandal! Oatmeal!Joshing Part 1
Joshing Part 2 (New!)
Additional Tags: Short, Humor
83 comments:
First!?
GOD DAMN YOU
Oatmeal!
Unexpectedly awesome.
I liked it.
This is the story I wish I could write.
Eh. I'll just agree with pre-reader #12
6th. And also those are some stupid STALLIONS. He used the word "gentlecolts". Colts are male ponies under the age of 2 or 6, I don't remember which. Stallion, is a grown horse/pony.
I love it when people write stories involving the interaction of idiots. Certain parts of this, with the way Blue and Bill were reacting/thinking, read like a kid-friendly episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
And the ending was hilarious once I went back and checked the beginning to make sure what I thought happened did happen.
Suckers, good thing they don't have Email in equestria or those two would of sent all there money to Neigh-geria a long time ago.
this needs a bazillion stars.
read it. its genius.
My name is Josh and I approve of this story.
Pre-reader no.12 steals quotes from Yahtzee
I did enjoy this. 4/5 stars.
cue sucsesful troll song
@TenchiFreak5
What? What happened at the beginning?
Wat.
So then I suppose Unicorns are Rhinoceroses with the front horn shaved off in colorful suits? :D
Family Motto: "There's one born every minute"
Should I ask if their cargo is actually LEGAL?
Gotta love family motto's
*imagines turkey fluttershy, finds this adorable*
Cargo manifest was also amazing. Well executed overall
What's this Josh doing pullin' wagons? He belongs in show business! Equestria's P.T. Barnum or something.
Delightfully absurd. 5 Star
That entire thing felt like a Guy Ritchie film. Hilarious.
We need a sequel. Josh explaining where unicorns come from.
Or that is rich.
Unicorns? well thats easy, they aren't really ponies either. You know why a Unicorn's horn is spiraled right? its because all unicorns are actually goats.
I know I know, but Mahna goats have two horns. Well do you ever see any goats? No that is because they are all pretending to be ponies, they all grew their manes out to cover the root of their horns so that we can't see that its actually just two horns spiraled into one long horn.
Why do you think only unicorns can do magic, real ponies can't do magic everyone knows that. The next time you see Rarity take a real good look at her horn, I can guarantee if you look hard enough she will do what ever she can to hide the fact. Why do you think she makes dresses its to hide her tail when the wig is getting washed.
Brilliant. More shorts from you good sir.
I... I have... what... what did I just...
Aw heck, here, take my stars.
@C. Theron Vulpin Now all he needs to do is find an Egress to show off.
I'm laughing for real right now.
Now we must have some fanart of Turkeyshy and Princess Rainbow Dash's parents.
Short and simple, yes, but very very funny, too. Made me laugh. :D
Please tell me theres a unicorn version..?
Epilogue:
Rainbow Dash caught up to Fluttershy and waved her over to a handy cloud. She glanced around... nopony about. Good.
"I got 'em," she said, puling a pair of custard-colored forelegs out of her saddlebag. "Dad says these new straps should blend in better, and they won't rub like the old ones."
"Oh, I can't thank you enough, Princess!" Fluttershy said, wiggling free from her leg-harness and slippinginto the new one. "They're perfect!"
"Course they are," Dash preened. "You know I'd never leave you hangin'." A curious look crossed her face. "Hang on, who told old Josh about me?!"
dilightful!!
All my base are belong to you. I don't think i've ever laughed harder
I loved that 400% XD So.. awesome!!
You gentlepony win a million internets, that's awesome. and some of the comments jsut add to it XD
You have to be a really clever writer to write characters so painfully stupid.
Five stars.
Oh hell yeah, update.
I think that part two is, if anything, even funnier than the first one. The first one made me smile but this one actually had me cracking up all throughout it.
Very good. I especially like how meta it's starting to get towards the end of chapter 2.
Okay, part two was hilarious! I was actually laughing out loud this time - Face Barnacles indeed >.>
N'awww.
That ending man...
Josh is one cool dude I tell you what.
Josh is a philosopher of the most pure nature. Everything in the world exists to him as how he BELIEVES it should be.
I tell ya, it's a triumph of the author that he behaves realistically enough that I have an honest urge to smack him upside the head with some cold, hard science and then a cold, hard swordfish...
...because the mackerel isn't 'fresh'.
(BA-DUM-TISS)
He's not just a regular moron.
He was DESIGNED to be moron.
He is the product of the best minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of creating the DUMBEST MORON WHO EVER LIVED.
Their cutie marks are all identical: a brain getting smashed by a huge hammer.
Oh gods, that fucker is just making this shit up as he goes. I HATE ponies like that.
And when they are actually there, he suddenly gets their names right. I HATE THIS COLT.
@theuncalledfor
Now that's just uncalled for.
Yay, update \o/
I want more of these guys, the question is what they will talk about next... Alicorns?
Several times during my reading of both parts I uttered a distinct, and what some would call un-masculine, giggle. You sir, have written a gem.
Huh. So that's what "Godot" would be like if I was stoned off my ass.
I'd just like to say I'm laughing my flanks off at the point where Blue goes all Lovecraft.
"Bathypelagic darkness" "Things have learned to walk that ought to swim" -- HA!
Josh is such a troll XD
Wow, i dare say these two short sotries can crack many a brony up ^_^
I think the second one was even better than the first. My rating bumped from 4 to 5 stars.
the second one started out pretty good, but then got 100% better after Twilight entered the conversation, and another 50% funnier during the ice cream incident. You've outdone yourself CloudWander
I almost thought Blue had wised up to Josh for a moment, but then he started freaking out about the cuddlefish and... Oh well. lol
I know! I did the same with my rating, Tenchi.
The story was clever and funny, the accents were recognizable without being distracting, and the ending had exactly the right amount of sappiness. Good job all round. author.
Heh. Second chapter was decent enough. Josh sure has gullible friends though.
The ice cream in the second chapter was masterful.
NOOOOO Cuddlefish!
These guys aren't very bright, are they?
I lol'd the whole way through, and d'aww'd at the end. Five stars all the way!
This is great, and Nerdy Twilight is great. She even used 'effected' correctly! Squeeeeee
Um... I'm getting large amounts of gibberish in the story. Is that supposed to happen?
Anyone else have that problem? Whole sentences are unintelligible
This is my new favorite story! So great!
You have no idea how frightening it is that, between Terry Pratchett and superstring theory, I understood exactly what Twilight was talking about.
@Josh
Are you the character from the story?
If yes: I HATE YOU. STOP BULLSHITTING ALL THE TIME.
If no: Did you make that account just to make that joke, or is the identical name a coincidence? OR MAYBE you inspired the character somehow? Explain yourself!
Talk about throwing somepony for a loop! That was excellent!
I love the part where Blue starts believing that Princess Luna is a Great Old One.
Iä! Iä! Luna fhtagn!
@theuncalledfor
Josh is a fairly common name that I happen to have, and it's a lucky coincidence that the character in this story shares it, nothing more. I do enjoy the name with this story though.
@Josh
Lucky?!
Oookaaay. If you say so.
*squints eyes at you and slowly retreats, very suspicious of you*
"Josh" is both a name and a verb. That was the genesis of my story. Josh is just a pony that likes to tell tall tales, especially if his stories will cheer up his teammates.
I have one more story in mind, about Earth Ponies. We'll see how it turns out.
So I AM the only reader who's got strange unreadable words mixed in with the story?
Maybe my google docs is broken or something... A pity. I would have loved to read all of that...
Assuming the unreadable words aren't "bathypelagic", then yes.
Rofl that had me laughing
Troooool. D:
Argh, this story mixed together with the HP Lovecraft Literary Podcast (hppodcraft.com) to give me The Esoteric Order of Wave Dancer.
@Anonymous
I'm writing that down.
I know I'm being annoying, but would it be possible to upload this another place as well?
I'm the anon who complained about strange words, und unless they actually are "Ufmm vt Kpti" or "nbhjd@" I'm fairly sure they are supposed to be understandable.
@Anonymous I could try uploading the story in plain text or some other format. Is it just Part 2 or is Part 1 bad as well? I use Scrivener for my writing and it has a variety of formats that it "compiles" to.
Oh, it occurs to me to mention: I posted my first story with the .rtf extension. I removed this from my second story. Maybe if you add the ".rtf" extension to the file, it will display correctly? Just an idea.
I love how you have Twilight all of a sudden talking about string theory.
@Anonymous
In Google Docs, go to File -> Download As -> PDF
That should get you a correct version, no matter what.
I like how when I started it was reasonable and by the end it was HP Lovecraft
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