[Normal] We haven't had a Spitfire story in a while.
Author: Epic Rarity
Description: It's Spitfire's first time auditioning for the Wonderbolts and she is pretty confident in her abilities. However, she meets a certain colt that will become her best friend and greatest rival.A Dream Come True Part 1
A Dream Come True Part 2 (New!)
Additional Tags: Spitfire Soarin' Wonderbolts Rivalry Friendship
21 comments:
spitfire without shipping!?!? must read o.o
Awwww, I want shipping! D:
Spitfire normal?
FINALLY!!!
also, we need to start bugging Hasbro again. I am dying to see something second season. And since they spent an entire day trolling us, I can't help but have "Second Season Knowledge Withdrawal"
Spitfire shipping fics are awesome though!!!
HHNNNNNGGGGGG
Must read.
Speaking of second season, its quite evident there's a lot of searching for the non-existent First Season Episode 27 when typing in the Youtube search engine.
I imagine a new meme could come out of it as synonymous with an episode that everypony wants but doesn't exist, and becomes an obsession as everypony waits for the next season.
That was a great story! Spitfire rocks!! I'm going to be a wonderbolt one day!!
@Rainbow Dash
We'll be proud to welcome you to our team, Dash!
Really liked the premise on this one and it's refreshing to see a story where Spitfire isn't shipped, but I found the writing a little hard to overcome. I won't rate it, because I know I'm picky, but here's my biggest problem:
A lack moderation. There's too much repetition of devices to express emphasis, mostly in the form of ALL CAPS or exclamation points. Especially with the caps, if you do use this effect at all, only use it once or (if you absolutely must) twice in your story on the part that needs it the most. That way that moment/phrase can leave a lasting impression on your reader, rather than blending together with all the other times you use it. Exclamation points can have the same problem, the more you use it, the less powerful it is.
Also, can you spell out numbers rather than type them please, it's just good form all around :)
In writing, you only type out numbers that are less than one-hundred.
I haven't read this, but if this is the case, then yes spelling them is generally better.
Oh, this was awesome... so very awesome.
Brohoof
EEEEEEE, thats my Vector of spitfire Mass <3's
now onto the story
Really wanted to love this, being about Spitfire and all. But the writing has a lot of issues, and worse, I didn't like Soarin's character at all. If you'd tacked any other name onto him, it would have made for a good rival, but Soarin always struck as being far more laid-back than this. That kind of killed the whole thing for me.
>Spitfire fic
>Normal tag
Nah, it must be just an illusion...
@Present Perfect
Soarin's character was probably my biggest issue too. To me he's too much like the Michelangelo TMNT of the ponyverse, only instead of pizza it's apple pies. If any other member of the Wonderbolts had been chosen, it wouldn't have been a problem at all because they're so background there is character to flesh out.
Ok story. Nothing to exciting, but enough to keep em entertained. I don't entirely agree with the criticism regarding Soarin, though I see where its coming from. But really, we have seen very little of him so who is to say he wasn't like this when he was younger?
This was pretty good for your first fic. Aside from a few grammer errors and a bit of "show don't tell", I really enjoyed it. I fully support your next fic.
After reading this I want eat a cake :)
Quite good.
"Neon stood in the centre of the throne room with Hotshot and the other Wonderbolt, he couldn't remember his name either..."
FACEHOOF.JPG
I know names are hard to come up with, but really...
@OtterMatt
Exactly what I thought.
I'm enjoying the story and all, but if you're trying to emphasise the need for teamwork between these ponies, having the leader not even know the guy's name kills it.
On another note, this is tagged "complete" already for some reason.
@OtterMatt
I know it seems absolutely silly at this point, but the unnamed Wonderbolt and Neon's negligence plays a big role in the next few chapters.
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