Thursday, July 7, 2011

Story: Creature of the Night (Update Part 2!)

[Adventure] You know... Vampires really are getting the short end of the stick lately thanks to Twilight and the various knock-offs. According to the Pre-readers, this Rarity is a classic, real, awesome vampire, so hopefully this dispels any doubts!

Author: Tanner
Description: After a quite terrifying encounter in the Ursa Majors cave with Twilight Sparkle and her friends, Rarity awakens the day after feeling not too well, and steadily getting worse as the day drags on not realizing her body slowly succumbing to the effects of Vampirism.
Creature of the Night Part 1
Creature of the Night Part 2 (New!)

Additional Tags: Transformation, Birthday Cake, Vampirism, Adventure

113 comments:

Themasterofb said...

How dare you tell me Twilight ruined vampires!
You're just jealous cause she's better than Trixie.

Anonymous said...

Heh, thats funny because Rarity's voice is my headcanon voice for Kanaya...
And now this... Oo

Anonymous said...

Not to be confused with Creatures of the Night, the TwiLuna ship fic.

Anonymous said...

Rarity plot?

D. Shadows said...

Well there goes my idea for Pinkie the Candypire, she drinks the sugar from your body instead of the blood.

At least I still have the Tyrant Celestia and Resident Pony idea.

Anonymous said...

This is actually much better than I expected. Write on!

Anonymous said...

"But I thought you vanted vhining!"

Sali said...

It began a little rough around the edges, but it's actually pretty interesting! By the end I was definitely invested in it and I can't wait for the next part.

Poor Rarity... and Twilight too, getting dragged into this. I imagine that she'll be better equipped to handle it though... with MAGIC.

Carry on!

Anonymous said...

So... did Twilight survive?
Loved it and can't wait till the next chapter.

krypqe said...

@Themasterofb

Twilight as in the vampire movies, not our beloved bookish Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight Sparkle could never ruin anything...

*Sigh*

ZarPaulus said...

@Anonymous

I think so, Dracula's victims took several feedings to die.

And Rarity seems like that variety of vampire.

CoffeeGrunt said...

A Rarity fic where I don't hate Rarity? The fuck?!

Another fic on my watchlist...getting too damn long now.

ShadowFox04 said...

Oh, Vampires. Well I might as well give it a quick once over...


WHY IS THERE NOT MORE?!

Ponies make everything better.

Maeni said...

Well that was really great :D

I really liked how you conveyed the emotional aspect of it and how it affected Rarity. That was awesome. Do want more!

Anonymous said...

Im not going to read the story but i can't resist saying.
DAT ASS!

D4SHTH3R4INB0W

Nichon said...

CONTINUE>.............!

Anonymous said...

Does it fall to me? Ok...
Die, Rarity! You don't belong in Equestria!

Darling, it is not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by fans who wish to pay me tribute.

Tribute?!? You steal ponies souls and make them your slaves!

Perhaps the same could be said of all religions...

Your words are as empty as your cutie mark! Ponykind ill needs a savior such as you!

What is a pony? A miserable little pile of friendship. But enough talk...have at you!

Anonymous said...

I love this!Good work!
/)'3'(\

A Vulture with a Tophat said...

"To be continued..." FFFFFFU-

lainofthewired said...

Vampire Rarity is awesome Rarity.

Anonymous said...

you should have used the Remilia-Rarity picture, I think it suits the story better

Grey Eidolon said...

The Remilia Rarity would have fit to a lovely degree. I would love to see more of this.

Marrock said...

Ugh, no thanks, you lost me at vampire.

Anonymous said...

Ooh, nice! The elegant, yet reluctant vampire. Reminds me of Louis in "Interview". Maybe we'll see a point where she degrades into a sneering cynic, but with her old joie de vivre,or rather, considering her situation, joie de mort, a la Lestat.

Anonymous said...

@krypqe Except a parasprite infestation, of course.

Skay said...

Never seen a mlp fix with vampires. Still, story leaves me hungry for more! (Dumb comment, I know)

Sunlight Gleam said...

It's hard for me seeing vampire ponies but, you did an amazing job. You made the best choice to make Rarity the vampire. It felt very smooth to me how you made Rarity's transformation. Great fanfic, I enjoyed it all the way through.

Anonymous said...

Okay, ponies have made vampires more appealing to me. Now to twiddle me fingers and wait for the next chapter.

Anonymous said...

Vampires have always been disgusting filth, the Twilight films just helped people realize it.

ZarPaulus said...

@Anonymous

Ironically by trying to make them sexy.

Anonymous said...

this vampire story is a breath of fresh air compared to the junk they pass off as a vampire story keep it up

Grez said...

That was fantastic! I'm un-dying to read the next chapter!
...
I'm sorry.

Delta Pangaea said...

See, THIS is what vampires should be like.

Classic, blood-drinking creatures of the night, possibly with extrasensory vampiric charms. A real classy, Dracula type.

Suits Rarity very well, I'd say.

La Barata said...

Epic Fucking Win. Keep it up.

Saddlesoap said...

This is VERY reminiscent of Lost Boys, as well as Interview - in all the right ways.

You deserve kudos just for that alone - it's sooo nice to get an antidote to the sparkle-twits that pass for Vampires these days.

I like the style - lots of good and varied sensory detail, and subtle back-filling of the earlier incident in the cave.

Only one small issue - do Ponies even HAVE incisors? I think that's an omnivore/carnivore thing...but then, Ponies here on Earth don't eat birthday cake, so YMMV.

All in all, though, impressive work - bravo! I am eager to read more.

Saddlesoap said...

@Saddlesoap

Woop - pardon my lack of dental knowledge! I was mixing up incisors (front teeth) and canines ("fang" teeth).

Oddly though, Wikipedia says equines DO have canine teeth - behind their incisors - but few females (28% or so) have them and they often don't erupt fully.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to see this continued. Like a commenter above me said, this seemed to have all the right aspects of Interview and Lost Boys.

Twilight is going to be really, really pissed off if Rarity accidentally turned her into a vampire, too. Perhaps that could make for some good comic relief.

Tanner said...

@Anonymous

Aw nut, I should've looked around before picking that title.

Also I've seen the other Rarity picture, where she has bat wings also by JohnJ. I considered it, but I picked this one because I can't lie when i say I like it better

Anonymous said...

@anonymous and @Tanner

That does raise a good point. Is Twi a vampire now for only getting "eaten" (for lack of better term) once (since classic pre-"Twilight" vampires had to drink from one person multiple times to kill them)?

Tanner said...

@Anonymous

Well the basis of this story is COMPLETELY pre-twilightthebooks sort of thing. Back when vampires were thought of these ungodly creatures of the night, existing to suck the life force of others to satiate their own.
As such I've drawn vampirism from a variety of sources (films and books) all way back to the original book itself. Lord Dracula himself was a handsome devil. The ladies loved him, he was very classy, but he would still mesmerize you then suck the blood from your neck. (Rarity is also a classy lady she likes to think)

...got sidetracked there. Sorry. As for part 2, it's written and finished already, I'm just editing it, and we'll all find out what happened to Twilight Sparkle there. Sit tight folks.

CoffeeGrunt said...

@Saddlesoap

I thought Lost boys too, (my malamoot is called Nanook.)

SyrinKitty said...

I have to say, this fic is very intriguing, and I'm anxiously awaiting Part 2! It was very easy to read, and minor grammar problems near the beginning didn't detract from the story itself.

My only hope is that you go for the "the sun causes really bad heat stroke very quickly to vampires" approach over the "makes them burst into flames" approach. I dunno, I've always liked that variety better, where the vamps don't /die/ if they go out during the day, it just /really sucks/ and they avoid it.

Dawn said...

That's some Vampire story!

omg Tanner I you scared the hell out of me with that restaruant scene lol, I was constantly thinking that Rarity would just attack Shy! damn you!

Moar plix-plox!

Anonymous said...

Hold It! When Rarity bites Twilight Sparkle would her become a vampire?

Richard said...

Hold It! When Rarity bites Twilight Sparkle would Twilight become a vampire?

SyrinKitty said...

It depends on what version of vampirism the author is using. Biting doesn't automatically turn someone into a vampire in most canons. The vampire usually has to drain the victim completely dry (as opposed to simply feeding on them a little), and then feed them their blood in return before they die. It's the act of replacing regular blood with vampiric blood that does it. Some canons do, however, take the "infection/zombie" approach.

Again, that's just what happens in most canons. I'm... a bit of a vampire fan (not the Twilight crap, of course).

Anonymous said...

@SyrinKitty

So what you're saying is that there's a variety of venomous, vehement vampirism viruses?

Oh lord, I'm as bad as turning phrases as Twilight...

But, seriously, thanks for the helpful info.

Anonymous said...

More. Now. Please.

Also will there be some kind of vampire hunter in this story? I don't know why, but for some reason it's really easy to imagine the Apple Family clan gearing up to take on a vampire assault.

Doc Steedly said...

Hmmmm, this is awesome, my second fav pony in an impossible position. What else is there to say. I have always like vampires and lycanthropes . . . but not the recent Twilight garbage . . . . BLECH!!!

anyWHO. I really love how this is fleshing out. It... Seems to fit... I dont know why, but it fits her so well. I seen the part with little Sweetie coming a mile away. . . . but not the part with Twi, that shocked me. Now im going to lie awake all night tonight elating the possibilities of whats going to happen next. Especially cause of Twi. Epic, I eagerly await the next part! But really . . . poor Sweetie. SHe is too adorable to be hurt, which im thankful things didnt play out that way. But vampire sisters O.O ooooh WAIT CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS VAMPIRES! YAY! LOL sorry everypony . . . . thats the kind of hay that muh brain will be siftin tonight!

Shadow Dragon said...

On the Twilight possibly being infected thing, it would make sense if she was. Rarity was infected by only a small bite. Hell, by Rarity's description is may have only been a scratch caused by vampire teeth that did it. So with actually clamping down and drawing blood, Twilight probably did get infected also.

Devil Dan said...

As stated before, considering how Rarity got infected, it is probable that Twilight is too. I wonder if Rarity will be her mistress now.

ZarPaulus said...

I didn't see any details on what happened to Rarity in the cave, just that Twilight got torn up by a bunch of goblins. I'd guess that Rarity's sire hit her with the same mesmer that she accidentally used on Pinkie. Could have given him enough time for a blood transfusion or even the drain-and-feed routine favored by Anne Rice and WoD.

I don't like the bite method because of the classic vampire/werewolf paradox (why isn't everyone fanged?)

Devil Dan said...

@ZarPaulus

Good point. Though considering how Rarity described the incident, I'd think thet she would have no memory of it if she was in a trance like Pinkie.

tinwhistle said...

You will update this fic. My vampiric powers command you.

Drax said...

I laughed my ass off, and found an error. Spike is a purple dragon, not green.

Oh, and nutmeg is a blood thinner. He's lucky it didn't kill her, lol.

Anonymous said...

Hooray! Also, the new banner is magnificent!

Drax said...

Some canons say if the victim is completely drained they die, but only a feeding will cause infection and transformation. this sounds like the latter

Drax said...

Bah there needs to be an edit function. If anyone cares, I'm working on my own Pony Vampire fic. Mine won't be quite so nice though. I believe in EVIL vampires. Check my DA page, under Drax99.

Dave said...

Excellent story. But I'm going to have a hell of a time trying to differentiate between the two Vampony fics going on.

I have read the Twilight series (I was desperate, Harry Potter just ended back in '07), so it does entitle me to bash it, but for the most part I just completely disregard it entirely. Darren Shan, series, on the other hand, I will take completely into the Vampire canon and then some, with your traditional vampires who drink what they need and turn their victims into vampires as they please, and then the vampaneze camp, who believe they need to suck their victims dry everytime, so naturally they have purplish tinged skin from all the blood.

It was recommended by Rowling, of course it's got to be good.

IRREGARDLESS of my ramblings, excellent story. Keep up the updates!

Saddlesoap said...

Regarding Part 2 (spoilers):








This is the ONLY "Twilight Vampire" I will EVER enjoy reading about. :P

Nicely done! Eager to read the conclusion!

Anonymous said...

this is getting good now all we need is pinke pie dressed yup as richter belmont http://images.wikia.com/castlevania/images/c/c1/Young_Richter_Belmont.jpg and we will be all set

LaDestitute said...

Wow, this was actually very good. I'm craving more...like a vampire?

Anonymous said...

How on earth does the doctor know so much about vampires? What is he, a vampire hunter?

"Calling Dr. Helsing!!" (Heck, maybe that should be his name...)

Anonymous said...

For some reason I really love how Twilight is the more "ravenous monster" style vampire instead of being the "Bela Lugosi" style that Rarity became. It just fits her impatient personality. Seeing as Twilight is my favorite pony and I think vampires are better when they're terrifying, this fic is an instant 5-star for me!

Anonymous said...

Yay, Porphyric Hemophilia! As others have said, this is the only Twilight Vampire I'll ever enjoy!

Can't wait to see it concluded!

Sunlight Gleam said...

I enjoyed part two even more than part one. In the first part there was the scene that had to happen where the transformation happened while the reader was reading it, but in part two it happened while Spike and the other ponies were discussing it, the shock value for both the readers and the characters was much greater. The difference between the transformations made sense because, Twilight had blood drained so she became a vampire quicker, Rarity would have had none or little blood drained so it took longer. I enjoyed visualizing each and every scene in it, the thought of Twilight in chains barely looking at her friends is a painting waiting to be made. The one problem I had was that the doctor knew she was a vampire, it was mostly fixed by having it seem more like a disease than something magical. It seems a bit rushed nearing the end. I hope the next part comes soon, it has been a fantastic time reading this.

Fox E: said...

Oh man, too bad they didn't have any Mandrake Root on hand or something.

I can honestly say I didn't expect pt.2 to take that road. D= Not that it's a bad thing, I think it's cooler now. Totally looking forward to the conclusion.

Dawn said...

Twilight is scary as hell in part 2, omg.

Now I wan't a full cup of PART 3!!

2007excalibur2007 said...

Twilight Sparkle becomes a vampire...?

This doesn't have anything do with a subtle reference to "Twilight" ...does it?

CoffeeGrunt said...

Damn, this is awesome.

Richard said...

@Anonymous Yes she does but negative results

Lurks-no-More said...

The vampiric Twilight in part 2 is disturbing - not too different from her usual self, except for that thirst...

Looking forwards to the third part!

Anonymous said...

@zarpaulus
JACOB JACOB JACOB JACOB.. I mean RAINBOW DASH RAINBOW DASH RAINBOW DASH RAINBOW DASH RAINBOW DASH /)'3'(\

Vimbert the Unimpressive said...

I continue to be impressed.

Anonymous said...

It's really good but...
To be concluded??
I think it's too short! D:
I'm sad :(

Jerry Zucchini said...

Very well-written.
The feelings and the emotions Rarity has to endure are described in astonishing detail.

Anonymous said...

Well written and love the concept. Looking forward to the next part!

Grey Eidolon said...

I simply LOVE the whole angle as "Vampirism easily explained by medicine."

It's a very refreshing change of pace from the whole "I've never seen anything like this" doctor. I'm suprised Twilight is coping as well as she is. If you call that coping.

Anonymous said...

Sweet story.

eric-hinkle said...

I'm not usually a vampire fan, but this story is different. Poor Rarity! Poor Twilight Sparkle! I hope they get saved and don't end up pinned down like bugs on a board.

And yet, while I feel that the horror of their situation is being very well presented, why do I get the idea that some of the Bronies wouldn't mind letting a hungry Vampire!Rarity or Twi nibble on their necks? ;)

Fox E: said...

@Grey Eidolon Agreement.

I think she's only managing to deal due to her upbringing in Canterlot. Being the protege of the princess and having to deal with all the stuck–up–edness that'd have to go with it, it'd likely be ingrained in her to remain calm and rational in all situations.

That said, she's probably going to explode with pent up rage in this next chapter from trying to cope like she is. =D She's barely hanging on as it is, as you said.

Anonymous said...

Amazing!!! I CANNOT wait for more!! Ooooh and I'll have to see who this uberly sexy vampire-pony is muhahahaha. And he's hittin on Rarity, oh lala lol jk:) And I do hope they remember that a vampire bit Rarity so they don't go randomly jabbing her with a stake!!:)

Prince Shadari said...

Just finished reading it. Speaking as a vampire nut as well as a pony nut I'm really excited. My favourite pony is a vampire, my second favourite pony is a vampire, I'm definitely pleased. I have a few things I don't like about the story (Particularly how vampires are handled. Then again, I'm somewhat tired of a lot of the ways vampires are handled now a days. But I suppose that when dealing with something like this in only a fan-fiction I shouldn't be too upset that things aren't generally shaken up.) but it kept me reading to the end, and I'm eager to read more.

Anonymous said...

Need fan art for this.

Anonymous said...

You know this has been done before. And the correct term is Horsepire.

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/02/01/

Anonymous said...

Awesome job, can't wait for the ending!

GGgala said...

>mfw when I was toying with an MLP/Dracula fusion

I love this so far. The in-medias-res scene at the very beginning came off a little awkward though.

re: part 2 --

I really hope that the Potential Cure the doctor is mentioning ('killing the head vampire', as in Treehouse of Horror) really *does* turn out to be nothing but an unreliable myth, and killing him won't help Rarity or Twilight at all. That solution just seems too cheap--like it would undermine all the pathos that came before in the story. The only way I can see it working if the hearsay is actually true is if Rarity's attacker gets away, and Rarity pulls out her Silver Stake of Generosity and sacrifices herself for Twilight.

also--
>Big Mac incoming
TwilightYES.gif

Anonymous said...

Twilight was so matter-of-fact about turning into a vampire that it must've been an act. And only part 3 will tell us what was behind this act. Can't wait

Anonymous said...

I don't think Twilight ruined vampires at all. And turning her INTO one and saying she ruined them made me laugh.
Anyway, on with the story. Rarity was always my 6th (least) fave pony, but this is great! Well written with a few grammer mistakes here and there. I can't wait for part 3 (ending?)~

Dawn said...

WHEN IS THIS GETTING AN UPDATE????!?!?!?

Richard said...

@Tanner Excuse me, are you dead or alive because I'm wonder if this fanfic will get a update yet.

Devil Dan said...

Patience. Some fics that I follow get less than a chapter a year. Compared to that are most pony fics lightning fast.

JV ElEven said...

Oh. My. God.

This is fantastic.

Bloody fantastic! It has such a 'drama' feel to it, and it's also deliciously good at making my heart thump.

Anonymous said...

Wait, scratch my last comment on the top about Twilight Sparkle. I misunderstood, I didn't know you meant the book.

Hey, when's this getting an update? I want to read part 3 c:

JV ElEven said...

What the guy above me said!

Anonymous said...

OH NO SOMEONE CALL BUFFY

I wonder if she's faced vampire ponies before...

dafiltafish said...

is there a part three?

Anonymous said...

Sir can you please update soon please? I am leaving for basic in a month and I have been waiting very anxiously to read what happens next.

bkster said...

Please update, I am dying to know what happens!

La Barata said...

Like, seriously, I have BRAIN DAMAGE and am still updating more frequently.

Draco Dei said...

WARNING SPOILERS!
My usual review style. Mentioning more rather than less.


Part 1:
Her own was quickening, too.
-She still has a pulse?

rounded belly making quiet sloshing noises.
-And Twilight isn't dead? Well, actually should could be a vampire now and just breathing out of habit or something. Or maybe it is just extreme toon physics in action.

Part 2:
Wolfing down two divots he turned back into the kitchen.
-Never heard "divots" as a unit of measure. Are you sure?

Quartz was really the tastiest mineral of them all, despite him not actually sampling every kind of crystal.
-Awkward phrasing at best.

feeling a temperature high enough that he knew a thermometer would not necessitate a double-check.
-This just doesn't work, although I know what you MEANT.

Spike was feeling nervous. Twilight was alive! He should be happy even if she was a vampire.
-Ok, so it becomes increasingly clear that vampirism isn't actually undeath in this case.

They’re engraved pewter so they won’t burn her skin.
-If one goes by Twilight's comments in the episode that introduces Zecora, then the engraving actually seems out of place to me. Unicorn magic probably can make permanent magical objects (Faust says she likes to think that a lot of the modern appliances that sneak into the show actually work with magic), but it doesn't seem like it would involve physical runes.

Draco Dei said...

How on earth does the doctor know so much about vampires? What is he, a vampire hunter?
-Nope, a doctor, and this is a disease (as I mentioned in my review they might not even technically be undead).

-Actually that sparks a thought, if they AREN'T undead, then why the stake? I guess it makes sense a mercifully quick death...

Joe England said...

I dunno... somehow, Twilight being a vampire too... it seems to take something away from Rarity being a vampire. Like she's stealing her thunder. I mean, I'm reading this story about a pony and her reactions and experiences to transforming in this way. That's the story. And then another pony pops up with exactly the same problem. It just seems to dilute the premise, having someone else have the same plight as the central character.

karrotline said...

the wait is agonizing >.<

Biglulu said...

Where is the update?

karrotline said...

still...


...waiting...

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