• The Summer Sun Celebration...

    by
    Greetings to all of my faithful subjects!

    I hope you are enjoying your pointlessly temporary lives this fine morning.

    Unfortunately, it seems everypony around here has forgotten the most important day of the year; my birthday.

    Each and every day, I, your benevolent overlord, raise and lower the very thing that keeps your despicable little hooves from turning into cute little pony popsicles. I do very much enjoy popsicles, especially cute pony shaped ones, but for the sake of my loyal followers, I endlessly sacrifice my enjoyment for the betterment of a bunch of thankless world consuming foals.

    And don't even THINK about pulling the "but Luna could do it too!" card. Do you HONESTLY believe that little tyrant wouldn't backstab you the second she got the chance? I see her lurking in the shadows behind my throne...with that conniving look on her face. She's just waiting for the perfect time to pounce and bring back that ridiculous "eternal night" she kept blabbering about a thousand years ago. The crying and "but Cele! I'm So lonely!" is all an act!

    I hope you are all happy. I think I'll go on a murdering rampage. It has been SO long since I have done something fun like that, and it's not like you wont repopulate like a bunch of dirty little rabbits anyway.

    Your Benevolent Overlord and Stewardess of the Sun
    Princess Celestia

    PS - I have promoted Sethisto to Captain of everything in my absence.

    Robot Voice
    Tuesday, June 21, 2011 op
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    246 comments:

    1. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 3:32 PM

      Happy birthday m'lady
      *bows*

      ReplyDelete
    2. Ivan2294June 21, 2011 at 3:45 PM

      (Sees Torrential Rain, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Nightmare Moon)

      Oh god, its the role-players! TAKE COVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

      P.S. I actually like role-playing

      ReplyDelete
    3. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 3:48 PM

      GLaDOS AND Celestia fused?... OH GOD YES/NO


      ~Flamerunner

      ReplyDelete
    4. Landon KempJune 21, 2011 at 3:56 PM

      You know you're not the real Celestia, don't you? You're nothing but a fake, a duplicate made from the stereotypes of a fanbase, the hidden torment of the real Celestia and the hatred and abuse those stereotypes and accusations have unleashed upon the real Celestia.

      Seriously, though, I'm getting sick and tired of you assholes portraying Celestia in such a manner. I hate all this "Trollestia" bullcrap. I don't care if this was meant for humor. IT'S! NOT! FUNNYYYYYYYY!!!

      ReplyDelete
    5. KitsulaJune 21, 2011 at 4:01 PM

      Guys, we're going to need a Rattlesnake...

      http://www.telliquah.com/Sun.htm

      ReplyDelete
    6. Kovigary/DammigJune 21, 2011 at 4:06 PM

      If Luna can figure it out, to make the night warm, it's fine with me.

      ReplyDelete
    7. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 4:07 PM

      @Pinkamina Diane Pie Welcome, Lunar Sun alliance. We will be glad to have you as allies. We also believe that Luna should be respected, and not twisted into the horrible being responsible for her banishment.

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 4:12 PM

      @Anonymous:

      >Torrential Rains, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle

      [wheatleyvoice]
      Oh, come on! Doesn't ANYPONY remember me? I mean, sure, I sort of disappeared into the Moon while they all went off and fought who the hay knows what back on Equestria, but I was still there! I was still important!

      *grumbles* Considering Narwhal's Bend and I were the ones who started that whole thing anyway...
      [/wheatleyvoice]

      ReplyDelete
    9. KlondikeJune 21, 2011 at 4:15 PM

      DERPEIMARU!

      ReplyDelete
    10. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 4:19 PM

      All hail Nightmare Moon, glorious liberator of Equestria!

      ReplyDelete
    11. ShikoJune 21, 2011 at 4:26 PM

      Happy Birthday Celestia, I love you! :D

      ReplyDelete
    12. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 4:34 PM

      This is all i could think about after reading that...

      She's a Killer Queen
      Gunpowder, Gelatine
      Dynamite with a laser beam
      Guaranteed to blow your mind
      Anytime

      ReplyDelete
    13. Ivan2294June 21, 2011 at 4:34 PM

      Bring it on celestia, I can take anything you throw at me.

      ReplyDelete
    14. The Letter JJune 21, 2011 at 4:41 PM

      For the record, I didn't forget.

      ReplyDelete
    15. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 4:52 PM

      oh great! its the moon thing all over again. well i am off to my underground anti-celestia bunker now, bye. oh and happy birthday celes.

      ReplyDelete
    16. Jim ProwerJune 21, 2011 at 5:11 PM

      Okay, we need to send some weather teams to the Moon. I've been anywhere from partly cloudy to thunderstorm all day.

      ReplyDelete
    17. Fire FlashJune 21, 2011 at 5:25 PM

      D: B-but I celerated this day, I love you Celestia!

      ReplyDelete
    18. KillKattJune 21, 2011 at 5:36 PM

      I HATE YOU CELESTIA!!!!!!

      ReplyDelete
    19. KyleJune 21, 2011 at 5:39 PM

      Happy birthday Celestia! I'd send you a card, but I don't have a dragon handy

      ReplyDelete
    20. altiasswifttailJune 21, 2011 at 6:10 PM

      Love you too Celestia. BI

      ReplyDelete
    21. MudeJune 21, 2011 at 7:06 PM

      I LOVE YOU CELESTIAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

      ReplyDelete
    22. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 8:28 PM

      Yes, Luna could do it better, but yes, I did stay up all night to watch the sunrise.

      ReplyDelete
    23. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 8:49 PM

      Sunrise in Montreal, Sunset in St Albans, Vermont, picking up at Ben and Jerry's and rolling in the morning.

      ReplyDelete
    24. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 9:26 PM

      Looks like I'm runnin out of time. guess I'll have to finish pony rapture soon... but first a better name for it...

      ReplyDelete
    25. Pinkamina Diane PieJune 21, 2011 at 9:40 PM

      @ Anonymous

      Thank you for welcoming and accepting my organization. I will gladly be your Ally, and together, we shall finally achieve equality and balance throughout all of Equestria.

      ReplyDelete
    26. Pinkamina Diane PieJune 21, 2011 at 9:48 PM

      Oh, and there is only 1 hour and 16 minutes left until the end of Celestia's birthday here D: I hope it was a good one, Your Majesty. I hope you got my gift. I will tell you what it is just so you can know if you got it yet. I got you a special golden sun charm for that necklace I sent you last year!

      ReplyDelete
    27. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 9:56 PM

      Well today was a particularly windy and cloudy day here so you weren't doing your job very well there princess

      ReplyDelete
    28. Torrential RainsJune 21, 2011 at 10:27 PM

      @Display Name
      Aw, it's okay man.
      Isn't being a father good enough?
      Or is Sunny not important?

      ReplyDelete
    29. Sonic ZR1June 21, 2011 at 10:39 PM

      *Facepalm*
      Why the fuck? WHY THE FUCK!?
      Why the fuck you all think that Celestia is tyranical dictator!? Because of that childish shitty meme?!?
      You guys acting worse than Nightmare Moon. You are all evil motherfuckers.
      Also to idiots who wants Lunar Republic: Luna has nothing against her sister. Unless if you want to bring back Nightmare Moon and become true fucking tyranical dictators.
      Go fuck yourself and burn in hell! Get your shit outta from there!

      Sorry for heavy language, I had to say that.

      ReplyDelete
    30. Sonic ZR1June 21, 2011 at 10:43 PM

      Also, happy birthday, princess Celestia! Sorry for being late... :'(

      ReplyDelete
    31. TigerflameJune 21, 2011 at 10:57 PM

      1. Happy Birthday My most lovely overlord. 2. GO-FUCK-YOUR-SELF! Luna is your sis and she is lonely and all weepy, no need to be a royal dick to her T^T

      ReplyDelete
    32. HeiJune 21, 2011 at 11:36 PM

      ^ Oh sheez, you guise are such crazy ponies.

      ReplyDelete
    33. AnonymousJune 22, 2011 at 12:17 AM

      @Pinkamina Diane Pie
      We, the Brotherhood of the Celestian Republic, too believe that our two glorious leaders, the wonderfully radiant Princess Celestia and the bright and kind Princess Luna, should rule in peace, together.

      We do not believe that our princess of the night Luna is the enemy. The enemy that belongs to all of us likeminded is Nightmare Moon, and all groups that support her, including the FILTH that is the Lunar Resistance, the group that wishes to usher Equestria, OUR HOMELAND, into eternal darkness!

      We would be honoured to join you, Lunar Sun Alliance, as allies to your cause.

      ReplyDelete
    34. AnonymousJune 22, 2011 at 12:38 AM

      @Sonic ZR1

      Well done brother! You have spoken the truth! As it seems you too respect our glorious faces of leadership, the Princesses Celestia and Luna.

      The Lunar Republic are not responsible for this IMPOSTER that DARES to post this message. It is an agent of an entirely different group, namely the LUNAR RESISTANCE, who aim to convert Luna back to her hideous dark side and cast OUR HOMELAND into eternal darkness! However, the presence of members of the harmless Lunar Republic has grown to almost unacceptable levels.

      We, the Brotherhood of the Celestian Republic, must make our voice heard! We must tell this Lunar Republic that there should be no war or hatred between our factions, and that we must band together to stop the real threat, the Lunar Resistance and Nightmare Moon!

      ReplyDelete
    35. Red-Supernova64June 22, 2011 at 12:40 AM

      Ugh, I don't know who is posting these but why can't you people understand that Celestia is not evil, nor a troll, and doesn't have a banishment obsession?!

      I mean, if THE Celestia is writing a blog about how it is her birthday today, wouldn't she write something nice and throw in a witty comment instead?

      ReplyDelete
    36. 0June 22, 2011 at 1:09 AM

      Repopulate? I'm on it.

      ReplyDelete
    37. Torrential RainsJune 22, 2011 at 1:50 AM

      Also, repopulate?
      Done.

      ReplyDelete
    38. DarkJusticeJune 22, 2011 at 2:37 AM

      Just throw in a bunch of refences to Aperture science and you've got GLaDOS

      ReplyDelete
    39. Sonic ZR1June 22, 2011 at 4:16 AM

      @Aonymous (that replied to me): I was just swayin' that Celestia is NOT a tyrant at all. Nothing more.

      ReplyDelete
    40. AnonymousJune 22, 2011 at 3:35 PM

      I am Andrew Rainbow and I'm here to ask you a question: Is a pony not entitled to the sparkle of their own mane?
      No, says Celestia. "It belongs to the palace."
      No, says Celestia. "It belongs to the guards."
      No, says Celestia. "It all belongs to me!"
      I rejected her answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the IMPOSSIBLE! I chose
      RAINOPOLIS
      A city where the filly would not fear the spotlight. Where a mare would not be bound to petty slave jobs. Where the great would not be constrained by royalty. And with the sparkle of YOUR mane Rainopolis can become your city as well.

      ReplyDelete
    41. Mysterious, Disembodied VoiceJune 22, 2011 at 5:27 PM

      You promised you'd stop calling me 'evil' after last year's.
      I know, I was evil then, but I'm better now. You know it was just that evil entity possessing me.

      Or is this all about me telling everypony the secret about your mane?

      ReplyDelete
    42. Nittany TigerJune 22, 2011 at 8:14 PM

      /me wonders if Celestia is behind Global Warming.

      Inching the sun ever so closer. Such a troll.

      Not worried about the moon. There's the Apollo program for that.

      ReplyDelete
    43. Nittany TigerJune 22, 2011 at 8:18 PM

      @Luna

      What secret? Everyone know she dyes her mane. That's why I bought her rainbow dye for her birthday.

      ReplyDelete
    44. AnonymousJune 23, 2011 at 12:12 AM

      @Rains:

      Oh you can NOT use that on me. That's just a low blow.

      ReplyDelete
    45. Matheus FilipeJune 23, 2011 at 6:27 AM

      @Torrential Rains Good point (but Celestia isn't a tyrannical princess, right?).

      ReplyDelete
    46. ActionScripter9109July 16, 2011 at 10:12 AM

      HOLY COW PEOPLE! Now it says it was posted by The Great and Powerful Trixie! Seth, you dun goofed.

      ReplyDelete

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