no pressure, 500 votes later...holy crap.
Author: Conner Cogwork
Description: Twilight and her five friends are transported during a botched spell, across dimensions to... Ponyville, Equestria? But not the same one that they knew. Sitting on a bench is Harpsy and Babar. The Doctoress avoids apples from an aspiring Applebuck. And in a library across town, six stallions join their forces as they try to decipher the appearance of filly look-alikes of themselves around Ponyville!Fanfiction.net
On A Cross And Arrow (All Links!)
Google Documents
On A Cross And Arrow Part 1
On A Cross And Arrow Part 2
On A Cross And Arrow Part 3
On A Cross And Arrow Part 4
On A Cross And Arrow Part 5
On A Cross And Arrow Part 6
On A Cross And Arrow Part 7
On A Cross And Arrow Part 8
On A Cross And Arrow Part 9
On A Cross And Arrow Part 10
On A Cross And Arrow Part 11 (New!)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Stallions, Genderswitch, HIJINKS.
763 comments:
Rarity dating herself... sounds about right. That part where they were shouting their love for each other had me in tears of laughter.
ReplyDelete@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteHaha, No problem at all!
However, I must say that your timing is uncanny. Why? Well, err... I was kindasorta writing a side story *at this very moment*. Its almost done, too >_>
Basically, I was wondering if I could have your permission to send it to Sethisto or whoever it should go to to possibly be put up as a sidestory on here. After sending the edited thing to you to be scrutinized. If you allow me. :x
... Also it would PROBABLY be non-canon. Depends on how the story goes, really.
Eeyup. Thanks to you, either way :D
Oh lawdy. It was a lot cuter when Fluttershy did that. But at least Rarity/Elusive is still funny.
ReplyDeleteRarity in love with her genderbended self.
ReplyDeleteNot sure how to call it... New dimension of narcississm?
I love this story.
I love this series.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny,which always draws me in and it's a good break from the monotony of ship fics.
I get the impression that this is going to be somewhat short.That's okay.
I just wish that somepony stop me from reading the "On the next Cross and Arrow..." in Yuuki Terumi's voice...please.
Oh god. What would that child look like? Perfect Rarity lookalike?
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to state how much I love this story.
ReplyDeleteConner, you've truly outdone yourself.
Okay, Rarity x Elusive is a DARLING couple. Honestly, being paired with herself is probably the best thing for her, heh.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me wonder, what will happen when Dusk and Twilight meet? They're both awkward, brainy recluses, so no matter what happens, it's sure to be hilarious.
ReplyDeleteHaha Twilight's such a killjoy, which is most likely how she would treat the situation. I'm really liking the story so far.
ReplyDeleteGreat story until the last chapter. For some reason Rarity/Elusive came across as much more disturbing than creepy.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same vibe I get when I see pictures of some guy cuddling a pillow with some anime girl printed on it.
The writing is great, but with Rarity I facehoofed twice. Leave her in the alternate world and don't look back Twilight! It's best for you!
MORE.
ReplyDeleteCELESTIA DAMN YOU, MORE!
...I'm pretty much speechless. Rarity x Elusive was so over-the-top cloudy, and yet it's still rather in-character for her to fall like that... to him, specifically. A new level of narcissism and one heckuva forbidden love, but what the hell, it's still awesome.
ReplyDeleteDo want more.
By Solaris' beard! an update!! **** school, I'm staying here.
ReplyDeleteChapters 1-4 are quite delightful! Chapter five, however.. while both Elusive and Rarity are known to have a penchant for drama, combining it and then multiplying it by exponential levels does the story no good. Switching to all-capitals..?
ReplyDeleteI love how Rarity spent the whole chapter basically judging/noting her actions from an impartial perspective before ultimately saying "screw it" and going along with it anyways.
ReplyDeleteLombardi's?
ReplyDeleteYou live in Maryland?
Lombardi's?
ReplyDeleteYou live in Maryland?
I always thought Rarity was in love with herself...
ReplyDelete...hmm. Thank Celestia Trixie didn't come with... they'd NEVER be able to get her off of her male counterpart...
I couldn't stop laughing from the time Rarity stepped into the shop, all the way to Blitz coming in at their peak moment of "Lovey-doviness"... XD The over-the-top shouting was BRILLIANT!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI didn't think Rarity was that narcissistic. I mean, talk about stroking your ego.
ReplyDelete...That came out wrong.
Part 5 was so full of cheese, but oh lawd, I had this big stupid grin on my face when Rarity and Elusive had a go at it.
ReplyDeleteRarity and Elusive had me almost crying with laughter.
ReplyDeletechapter 5 was brilliant, it reminded me of the soap-opraesque over the top drama that only rarity can produce. and it was hilarious
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I can't even describe how hard I laughed! Rarity and Elusives over the top declaration of love for each other was perfect and spot on! I can only imagine the chaos that will happen when/if Pinkie and Berry finally get into a room together. Universe will probably explode from the party the two will try to throw together.
ReplyDeleteBut at the same time, I like how it has a touch of seriousness, Twilight and Dusk so close and yet so far, and now Sweepy in the next chapter making Rarity have to make a heart breaking choice. Fluttershy I can see trying her best to stay with Butterscotch, not having any family to look after, but Rarity has Sweetie Bell and unless she can somehow get her sister into that dimension, someone is going to have to be left behind.
I can't WAIT for the next chapter!
Chapter 5 was...perfect. XD Seriously, I could hardly contain my laughter. The Rarity/Elusive dialogue was amazing.
ReplyDeleteAlso, SO MUCH DELICIOUS HAM.
i think this story gives a new meaning to the phrase " go f*** yourself"
ReplyDeleteChapter 5 is the best chapter.
ReplyDeleteYou know Sweetie doesn't live with Rarity, right? :) She's only been seen in the boutique twice.
ReplyDeleteThat last chapter was full of cheese yet it was So funny.
ReplyDeleteBest chapter yet! Keep up the writing and we'll keep the reviewing!
ReplyDeletebahaha
ReplyDelete"I Love Lucy"
BAAAAHAHAHAHA
Wouldent um "romance" between dopplegangers be like incest on steroids?
ReplyDeleteOh by Solaris' beard that ham was delicious, Conner. That is why this story has a shipping tag. Because of the most narcissistic pony in all of the dimensions, Rarity/Elusive. And I applaud Rarity trying to hide her cutie mark with a spell, but failing because of her own (or rather, Elusive's) attention to detail.
ReplyDeleteThat "Next time" bit caught me, too. I really want to see next time RIIIIGHT NOOOOW! But I'll try to wait.
I very much enjoy everything that's going on in this story. Please, continue writing the grandest hidden comedy tag, adventure, shipping normal fic I've ever read. It's also one of my favorite ongoing stories here too, so don't let that narrow pool give you any doubts.
I've ignored this fic because of the "shipping" tag until today when the sheer boredom of having nothing to do made me think "screw it, I'm reading it anyway".
ReplyDeleteAnd you know what, it was awesome!
Well written, great plot and everypony behaves as they could be expected to do!
5/5
Oh my god! this story is great! kinda makes me wish there were actual male counterparts in the show...but one thought occurred to me about Elusive and Rarity(inner self yelling Rarity you go girl! you just got a man)...since their pretty much direct counterparts of each wouldn't their genetic makeup be very similar? same thing with Butterscotch and Fluttershy...so if they were to conceive(I know you probably wont go that far into the story but I guy can dream) you probably have some "interesting" offspring..just a thought but anyways great story and yes Prince Solaris must have a majestic, flowing beard!
ReplyDelete@benjamin
ReplyDeleteEeeeyup. In fact, it's worse.
@Anonymous
Assuming they are genetically identical except for the sex chromosome, this is like... turbo-incest. For every gene where Rarity has one dominant and one recessive version, there's a 1-in-4 chance that the child will get two copies of the recessive.
Cloning would be safer, and that's terrifying.
@Anon 11:43
ReplyDeleteAssuming that all of their chromosomes are homzygous Dominant or recessive, the offspring would be an exact clone of either Rarity or Elusive, depending on the release of the Y chromosome. If something was heterozygous though, and that trait would end up being homozygous, then their offspring would probably have something VERY wrong with them... Yay anatomy class last semester! ^_^
On the other hand, magic pastel ponies.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChapter 5 is just awesome and wrong at the same time. On one hand I should be kinda grossed out with the idea of Rarity making out with herself, but on the other hand OH MY GOSH THIS IS WRITTEN SO WELL! I can't wait for the next chapter, and the next time thing really doesn't help. Great work so far!
ReplyDelete@benjamin
ReplyDelete\
Nah,
More like masturbation me thinks.
@benjamin
ReplyDeleteIf you *really* want to go into those kinds of details, loving yourself, both figuratively and literally, falls closers to the definition of narcissism and/or masturbation than anything else. At least, until humans discover their own alternate/parallel universes and create an actual definition for it.
It's a male version of herself but it's not herself. The whole alternate universe/plane of existence element adds a lot of different factors that need to be considered, since none of it is nearly as "controlled" as compared to something like cloning for example (and even that adds a whole slew of elements that would need to be taken into consideration).
Essentially it depends on your own personal values and how you interpret it (and to a degree if you read other stories that involve this kind of "romance" I suppose).
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteAgreed, it is just too heavily routed in fiction to consider using real-life as any kind of valid reference.
Gosh, I LOVE where this is going! I can't wait for more!!!
ReplyDelete@Asgard
ReplyDeleteI think I said that. ^_^
MORE DAMN YOU
ReplyDeleteI REQUIRE MOOOOOOOOAR
Love this fic.
ReplyDeleteSo...Incest, Masturbation, what?
Pssst...Will we ever see the Great and Powerful...Timmy? Or his filly admirers, Sugar and Spice?
What about...Godric the Griffin, Rainbow Blitz's old friend from school?(Would that be high school? As in, really high school?)
Maybe Zakora?
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteZircon = Zecora
Rarity's scene is weird...
ReplyDeleteBut eh i find it amusing.
when is the next chapter expected?? please respond i just read straight from the beggining to end from the moment i woke up and realized that the first one was came out june 26 and i just need to know cause this is amazing. thanks.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for Chapter 6!!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous Ideally, male-Trixie's name would be some kind of pun, just like Trixie's, so 'Timmy' wouldn't do. Mr. Eyous, maybe? Ugh, no.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it's always lots of fun when Rarity drops into purple prose, and a double dose is even better.
ReplyDeleteAlso also, nopony else noticed the hint of Rarity/Big Macintosh?
That preview is breaking my Rarity heart.
ReplyDeleteWait, I got it. Male-Trixie would be Hoofdini.
ReplyDeleteUPDATE CELESTIA DAMN YOU! UPDAAAAAAAATE!
ReplyDeletePart five was the funniest yet! Two drama queens cutting loose at full power!
ReplyDeletePART 6! NAO!
ReplyDeleteWell, he made this over the course of like a few days, hopefully part 6 will be out soon!
ReplyDeleteNeeds to be actual episode(s), too good not to be. Although some audience members may be, "disturbed", like the audience they really want to get, little girls. . .
ReplyDeleteExcellent, what fun the next chapter will surely be
ReplyDeleteRarity/Elusive is even cuter than Fluttershy/Butterscotch.
ReplyDeleteSo adorable!
@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeletedear god above this is freakin amazing... I just started reading today, and have only read the first two, but already, HOLY CRAP this is really well done!
I can't wait till I get to the part where they meet their look-a-likes! You have done a fan-freaking-tastic job of keeping ponies in character and better yet the counterparts seem flawless! And I love the male versions of the names. Really, really creative.
Please, never stop writing. it would be a travesty against ponies everywhere.
@RedSquirrel456
ReplyDeleteYARRR, BY SOLARIS' BEARD
OH MY...
I am so freaking wrapped up in this story...
I started writing how I would like to see the story end... In this tiny little comment box.
It got unreasonable, so I copied it into a document and did a word count.... 5500 words! 30000 characters! What have I done!
Needless to say, I don't think I can honestly even attempt to post that in a comment. At this point, it;s a freaking full alt ending... I'll have to wait and see how the real story takes things...
Man, I'm usually very patient... But this is the first time that waiting for a story to update has caused me to actually fill in the blanks with my own story!
Scary!
...arblegarble...
ReplyDeleteJust make more, would you please? I can't find words to describe how much I want to see what happens next.
I'm fairly sure when Blitz pushed the cloud in front of the sun, and Elusive shouted his response, the scene that played out in my head caused a smile that nearly spit my head in two. I couldn't stop giggling! Oh god that was so funny, why does this not have a comedy tag!?
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly sure Seth needs to issue this man a medal. Connor earns the coveted "Best Young Pony-fic Writer in Equestria" award. I'll be so sad when this ends... its not often something so genuinely great and funny crops up.
You must have had fun writing that scene in Carousel Boutique.
ReplyDeleteThis story is so hilarious! Eagerly awaiting the next chapter. 5 was absolutely gut busting hahaha.
ReplyDeleteI want to see Dusk/Twi soon, quit holding out.
ReplyDeletecan someone tell me when the next chapter is ude please?
ReplyDeletechapter six right NOA! drop your shit and write more
ReplyDelete@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteTrue, Twilight has all the right to freak out. Not only they are interfering with other dimension, but some of them are romantically interested in their counterparts. Who knows what would happen if they were to have a foal.
Not only that, but they are key figures in their respective dimensions, the Elements of Harmony. If they were to disappear from their original dimensioon, who knows what it could cause.
Meeting themselves could've destroyed both dimesions. Maybe it did damage the fabric of reality and they don't know yet. Maybe they already doomed both timelines. Twilight has all the right to be want to be inconspicuous and get back to their dimension ASAP.
So far the story is great. I agree with some bronies that Double Rainboom wasn't such a great idea, but other than that, it's very interesting. I'm really looking forward for the next chapters.
But I'm sure that when Pinkie Pie and Berry Bubble meet, reality WILL be destroyed. There is no way the multiverse can take two reality-bending, fourth wall-breaking, hyperactive party ponies in the same place at the same time.
Man Elusive sees shipping as serious business. His threatening Rainbow Blitz was hilarious, just because he blocked the light of the sun with a cloud.
ReplyDelete*sips wine form glass*
ReplyDeleteand so the plot thickens, with love, strife, magic, and pride. i hope all it not lost for my little ponies.
*takes a drag on a corncob pipe*
oh don't mind me, just watch our heroes and heroines deal with the cards fate has given them. please take no mind. carry on.
my iner fangirl/drama-hound was squealing at the end
ReplyDeletescandalous
Fucking fucker of fucking fuck buckets! That latest chapter was HAMMY! I love it, but yet a bit disturbed. I'd laugh my ass off if Blitz crushes on Dash a bit before the girls leave.
ReplyDeleteI totally wanna see this end with them ending up in Canterlot, summoned by Prince Solaris, only to discover Princess Celestia there too. They discover Alicorns are not rare at all, they are just simply spread over an infinite number of worlds and universes, and they just dimension hop too... enjoy one another's company. Twilight learns the only reason her teleportation spell failed is cause it latched onto Princess Celestia's own more powerful spell and drug her along for the ride. i could totally see some epic Trollestia going on...
ReplyDelete"I hope you girls enjoyed your time in this new world! Twilight, my most faithful student, you've been furthering your studies on the magic of friendship here, I presume?"
"..."
"Oh dear, do tell me you've NOT been hiding in a cave this whole time?"
cue Trollestia face! :D
@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteUm.. not to be a bother or anything, but um, I kinda noticed something through chapter 5, for when Dusk and Blitz were going on a Bubble Berry swear, you put it as Berry Bubble. Also when I see some comments some people also have it as Berry Bubble too. I just want to point this out because Bubble Berry is the correct one according to Trotsworth. I'm also going to post a link if you don't mind.
http://trotsworth.deviantart.com/gallery/29830774?offset=24#/d3en8sk
I'm just putting this out there if you want to make any corrections but uh, whatever you want to do is fine.
This was... pretty damn great. Wow.
ReplyDeleteYou know what would be freaky?
ReplyDeleteIf Prince Solaris and Princess Celestia have known each other the WHOLE time.
Even freakier?
If Prince Solaris and Princess Celestia have been getting it on. THE WHOOOOLE TIME.
OHHH YEAAAAAHHHHH.
The Magic of Friendshipping!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story. Admittedly, I was originally put off by the shipping tag just as others pointed out earlier.
ReplyDeleteBut hay, I decided to give it a shot because of the rating -- I was NOT disappointed.
The character interactions are pretty spot on and the comedy of it all is a nice touch.
Def liked chapter five the most; to see Rarity fall in love with self is a thought that isn't far from her character. It left me feeling curious to see how far she'd be willing to go with herself(himself?) for some reason.
Keep writing, you have earned yourself a fan.
Oh and Butterscotch x Fluttershy is the most adorable thing ever.
@Conner Cogwork: Shut up.
ReplyDeleteTake a Look over here.
See? Here´s all my money.
TAKE IT NOW.
And PLEASE, PLEEEASE finish this fic.
UPDATE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THAT!
ReplyDeleteOH I WANT IT NOW!! I NEED MORE!
ReplyDeleteTrixie's counterpart's name should be Preston. Why? Because its like Presto, ya know the magic word. Think about it.
ReplyDeleteF5 F5 F5
ReplyDeleteJust blasted through the whole fic.
It seems like Twilight is underestimating Dusk.
I sense an oncoming Battle Of The Brains.
why... why do you not update?
ReplyDeleteFor the love of all things righteous and good in the world, please, freakin UPDATE!
Withdraw symptoms... setting in...
>1053 ratings
ReplyDelete>4.9 stars
LOL WUT
I'll get right on this... right after I'm done with Past Sins. What?! Pen Stroke is amazing, shut up!
This is freaking blowing my mind guys. 90+ new comments since Chapter 5 was posted? Wow. Just... wow.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the ham and cheese was enjoyed by all. There's still a bit more to taste for everypony, but you'll have to wait just a bit longer. Gotta get the last chap edited, before I can send it in to Seth. Just keep your pony socks on!
Oh, to Butterscotch! I actually asked about that in the Ponychan topic for this story. I know 'Bubble Berry' is the one that Trotsworth made, but it just doesn't... sound good to me. 'Berry Bubble' rolls off the tongue much easier. I'm hoping ponies won't mind... um, if that's allright...
Either way, hang on in there for a bit longer! Should be up later in the week!
Very good story so far, I love seeing the characters look in the mirror in a very realistic way.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work
YUS! It will be out later this week!!!!
ReplyDeleteSimply love Chapter 3 OMG the cuteness overload cannot be contained!
ReplyDeleteHope to hear more updates soon!
@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteConner:
I'm working on an author spotlights for some of the EqD authors, and I'd like to interview you.
Send me an email at lonecoon at gmail.com if you're interested.
Update Damnit....... I need FlutterScotch to function normally now..........
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, he said he'd update THIS week!!!! OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH
How often was this updated before chapter 5 came out? Because I love reading this, but I'm sort of getting impatient on waiting for chapter 6...
ReplyDelete@AnAwesomeAardvark
ReplyDeleteI believe chapter 5 was July 27?
I wonder if Twilight is going to miss Spike too when she continues to watch Barb (and Dusk interacting). Spike is her little brother in mind and seeing how Rarity and Applejack reacted to the CMC, I bet Twilight would feel homesick for her little dragin, too.
ReplyDelete@anonymous 11:33
ReplyDeleteim pretty sure it updates once a week (or around there)
What a pleasant surprise to see an update; I'd actually forgotten all about this fic. Glad to see it still lives up to being a 6 star.
ReplyDeleteNewest chapter read, and Rarity and Elusive have stopped being funny. It's actually getting a little nauseating.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, I enjoyed it.
I have a new name for the ship of Rarity and Elusive. It's called Over The Top Acting. They seriously made me laugh with how crazy head over hooves and, well, over the top they were acting. It's like... wow. I feel bad everypony that had to put up with that XD
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, still as amazingly entertaining as ever, even in the lull parts like the group at the HEDGE, with how Pinkie was counting the number of times Twilight and Dusk said the same thing, or close to it.
Also, the next chapter. I don't want to reuse the "I want it now" quote, so have a different quote. Please tell me! Tell me! Tell me tell me tell me!
"Aerial Maneuver 69" I freaking died of laughter. I shouldn't have but I did.
ReplyDeleteConner, you're killing me here. Do you not understand how long I have been waiting for the Pinkie Pie/Bubble Berry chapter? Hurry up! Hurry up hurry up!
ReplyDeleteBubble's the best pony (by extension of being Pinkie's colt counterpart)
~YAY!~ I love that you're at least mostly consistent with your updates! Thank you for that! I LOVE this story! Definitely on the top three, at the very least! I mean, there's only a couple of other stories that have 6 stars, but this one has DEFINITELY earned it! PLEASE keep up the AMAZING work! This story needs more hype!
ReplyDelete*Looks at next chapter spoilers*
ReplyDeleteMY BODY IS READY.
Just read chapters 5&6 were Rarity meets Elusive. Oh, lord! Could it have been any more over the top? But yeah, that's Rarity for you.
ReplyDelete@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteOk, it was just bugging me a bit and um.. thats fine. I was just going over this with my friend Bubble as well, he likes it too and it scared me how much.
Wouldn't be surprised to see Berry hop straight in.
ReplyDeleteAlso, cue crazy teleporting pink ponies universe overload
~Appletank
Minor minor miiiiiiiiinor error. I mean horridly minor that I know why the heck they missed it. When rarity mentions her mother, and elusive says his mother was the same. It would be father, rarity's father most likely didnt act juuust like her mom. Oh god i hate that I am bugged by this, but it does
ReplyDeleteYES
ReplyDeleteYES
EACH CHAPTER JUST KEEPS MAKING ME BEG FOR MORE
MORE
MOOOOOOOOOOOORE
The world is not ready for two Pinkie Pies.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't being written fast enough to keep me happy. It's written excellently, the characters are spot on, and damn it, this is how you hook readers!
ReplyDeleteSOooo... Goood....
UPDATE FASTER.
ReplyDelete..i mean, if that's ok with you, I guess..
Fantastic fanfic! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteOkay, Bubble Berry showed up, near the Everfree Forest. I can only see one reason for this since, as far as I know, Dusk hasn't told him anything; he's definitely going by his Bubble (Berry?) sense. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm surprised Dusk didn't think of this option in the first place, Twilight and her friends are doomed, mainly because I can't imagine the outcome of two party extremists meeting and falling in love, or worse, hating each other and going into their psychotic, flat hair mode.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteomigosh. I hadn't even considered the result of multiplying Pinkamena and her counterpart. Celestia/Solaris help Equestria.
*reads the preview*
ReplyDeleteOH SHI-
@Melodia
ReplyDeleteMajor lulz at AppleBlitz, Twilight wondering if Rarity and Elusive having sex would cause the end of Equestria, and Aerial Maneuver 69.
Also, Pinkie and Bubble meeting can only cause universe destroying destruction. Seriously, you could probably get away with ending the story that way.
oops, didn't mean above comment as a reply, lol.
ReplyDeleteNext time on "On a Cross and Arrow..."
ReplyDeleteBubble Trouble
DUN DUN DUN.
Pinkie Pie and Bubble Berry meet....and the multiverse implodes. The End!
ReplyDeleteAwesome fic
ReplyDeleteUpdate more
Yay
That takes narcissim to a whole new level but it was so sweet, adorable and over the top funny on the way.
ReplyDeleteGood job!
Now the meeting that was bound to happen and will most likely destroy the universe.(cause Rarity/elusive making out certainly didn't do the job.)
The meeting of the Pink.
Oh wow, why is everything you right more addictive then every drug on the planet all together? Now I have to add another fanfic series to my list that I cannot wait for the next chapter to come out!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the amazing writing.
I enjoyed chapter 6 - holy, Rarity and Elusive chewing the setting was still hilarious - and Dash's lewd joke about '69', pffff. XD
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't get is where Spines suddenly was. She was riding before the scene change on Dusk's back to Elusive's. Did Dusk send Spine home because he feared it could be dangerous?
Two Pinkies in the same place? The universe will unravel.
ReplyDeleteRarityxElusive = OTP! :D
ReplyDeleteI love this series, and I'm really looking up to the next inevitable meetings!
FWHRUHVEDJSDVHE NEED NEXT CHAPTER
ReplyDeletePeople are going to hate me for this:
ReplyDelete-I gringe everytime I see reference to a meme (even to tiny references),
-there are several scenes where maincast is out of character,
-some of the jokes and (for the lack of better word) events are forced (Including some of the shipping)
-Story is poorly planed (which may have caused some of the forced parts), many scenarios don't make any sense.
It's still enjoyable, but these things kinda make it feel not as good as it could be.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteJesus, don't even SUGGEST that!
Berripold Dylan Bubble would probably be like... Norman Bates or something.
So whatcha think -- is Dash going to get all googly over Applejack-Y, or are we going to end up with a triangle of AJ-X+Blitz, Dash+Berry, and Pinkie+AJ-Y?
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHmm, or Bubberick Dylan Berry?
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteRargablarble rage and all that!
Hehe, seriously though, this is a fic on colorful talking horses. When you stop to think about it, the whole thing's rather ridiculous. But that doesn't make it any less fun. No, it's not the next great bestseller, but I kinda doubt it was intended to be. Ponies write just to have fun. And what's wrong with that? :3
At anyrate, I'm a bit surprised there's not much mention in here on the small piece of AppleBlitz that was dropped. Thought that part was quite a gem, especially with Dash's own reaction!
Twilight needs to quit being such a horn-block.
ReplyDelete*Reads Preview*
ReplyDeleteI..I...think i`m rea-
*headasplode.jpg*
I will have a heart attack when this fic gets to it`s climax
ReplyDelete---
Mussst...Sssstoop...Re-Re-Reading...
F*CKING CAN`T!
DAT CLIFFHANGER!
ReplyDeleteOK, so first off and totally unrelated is that i'v seen lots of " He/She " in the comments and that's SEXIST and i know i'm being a gerk but it's still true. mainly, though, I love the story so much and want to spend just HOURS each day reading this. This story is so cool, although Rarity/Elusive's romance seemed a bit rushed. LOVE the story!
ReplyDeleteThis just keeps getting better and better.
ReplyDeleteI'm on chapter four now, and I gotta say, this is pretty entertaining!
ReplyDeleteAt first the idea of male alter-egos of the mane cast was very, VERY, off-putting. But I gotta say you are handling it quite well, and the romantic aspect of it fucks up my mind to no end! (I say that in a good way). This story is a complete brain-cooker and that is what makes it so great.
However, I must say that I find Applejack's speech rather hard to read. I mean, we all know she has an accent, and I wouldn't mind the occasional "Ain't" thrown in and such, but I think you took it too far here-- to the point where it makes it hard to read. But this is only a technical problem, the story is very good so far! 4/5
*reads to be continued of chapter 6*
ReplyDeleteNo. Nonononono.
If ANYTHING would destroy the universe, it would be those two ponies in the same room. I fear for the entierty of the space-time continuum...
I'm not exactly sure why, but this is my absolute favorite fan-fic. Also, @Conner, "Hope to have it on time this time". When do you normally update?
ReplyDeleteI'm tired of people making rainbow dash a lesbian
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteAt most, Dash seems to be Bi-curious from what we saw in chapter four. My guess is, from how AJ acted on seeing Blitz, Dash might start crushing on the male AJ, if their encounter each other. Possibly if Dash and the others have to stop Bubble from telling anyone where they are located.
Huh, I just noticed...
ReplyDeleteBig Mac/Red Gala is already taken! O_o
- Not sure whatever that means, if anything, but just thought I'd let you know. Yes, this is a late comeback on what I said earlier. Fwaha!
@Xaviertrix
ReplyDeleteBy whom? I don't remember that at all...
Haha, Lauren F Formula. Priceless!
ReplyDelete@Xaviertrix
ReplyDeleteBy whom? I don't remember that at all...
Haha, Lauren F Formula. Priceless!
ReplyDeleteThe spell allows 10 friends to be transported, but Twilight only has 5. [sarcasm]Hmm, I wonder how this will end.[/sarcasm]
ReplyDeleteLove it! 6/5, man.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for more! (damn I love adventure stories.)
Dear Celestia...Berry meeting Pinkie would probably be enough to completely FUCK-UP logic!
ReplyDeleteThen again, a party/bash organized by both of them together would exceed the scales of awesome
Again, glad that everypony's been enjoying the story. To the nitpicker guy, I realize that you're absolutely correct. That makes a TON of sense for Elusive to say 'father' instead. Have to ask though, is it too late by now to change that?
ReplyDeleteTo those who've been wondering, I usually manage to get the story sent in to Seth either on Tuesday or Wednesday. Whether it shows up on EqD the same or following day is totally up to our Great-And-Powerful Blog Admin.
Hey, can I ask that ponies go and give KtKat, the artist who's been giving this fic those wonderful header pieces every chapter, some love? The link to her gallery is placed under every image, go and show her your appreciation!
At any rate, it'll be kinda short. But when it comes. The end of Equestria AS WE KNOW IT. Do you feel fine?
@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteNah, go ahead and edit it. You're just... fixing a spelling mistake. :)
@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteMy body is ready!
and so everyone returned to their normal universes, Solaris and Celestia are shiped, and the magical lands of Equestria are co-ruled by both and experience a boon to growth with now paridox what so ever(and Trixie meet her male self).
ReplyDelete@Conner Cogwork
ReplyDeleteI love this fic overall, but the one thing that drives me nuts when reading any fic is out-of-universe references. Specifically internet talk/memes. The double rainbow/rainboom reference earlier fell short of being actually funny, and was mostly annoying. I realize the canonical show occasionally makes references to outside stuff, but such references are usually quite subtle, and, well, funny.
However, what brought me to stop in the middle of reading and leave this comment is "Why do want?". Despite being familiar with the phrase on the internet, it took me a second to get it(as it looked like a mistake/typo of some sort), and when I did get it, it wasn't amusing.
To someone who isn't familiar with the phrase, it would just appear to be some mistake you made. To someone who does get it, it takes their mind out of Equestria, and into the internet, so to speak.
So basically:
A)Looks like mistake, breaks reading flow.
B)Breaks immersion for those who do get it.
C)Isn't amusing.
D)Dash wouldn't talk like that.
Sorry if I come across as a bit of a stick in the mud, but to me, little things like that are like spots of dirt on an otherwise perfect fic. And when I say perfect, I mean it. I gave it 5 stars. I absolutely love this fic in every other way, which is why little things like "Why do Want" bug me all the more.
And now I shall return to reading this otherwise delightful fic.
"Celestia dammit, why do want?"
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud at that one
Double the Pinkie, Double the Fun... and possibly the end of all life as we know it.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant story, It's nice to read such light hearted fun to break up all the dark stories that are out there.
WAIT WAIT! Don't put that pen down, keep writing!
ReplyDeleteSeriously these chapters always make me want more :(
I was worried that when you said "And that's how Equestria was unmade" that you meant it. This is a disaster of party-filled proportions. Or is it a party of disaster-filled proportions? You can never be too sure with them...
ReplyDeleteI kinda have to quote REM here....
ReplyDeleteIT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT
Ever heard of a pink hole?
As a late response to anybody who wondered, Red Gala is the third relative Applejack introduced on the pilot ~
ReplyDeletehttp://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Apple_family
... And she looks nothing like Big Mac :x
Oooooooh, my.
ReplyDeletePoor Angela!
I must say, I've been expecting and looking forward to the Twilight-Dusk meeting for about four chapters now. I have every reason to expect you'll pull it off well, but please do so anyway.
I know it's Derpy talking but... "cull the Mayo"?
Jesus, look at those ratings
ReplyDeleteNow this is what i enjoy seeing, a fanfic with more rantings than comments, because that means that fanfic doesn't steer up a ''censored 4Kids, how did they even get here, oh well'' of discussions like a fanfic we all know...
The two Pinkie Pies meeting up reminds me of a conversation me and a few of my friends had about what would happen if each of us met our respective clone/duplicate/doppelganger/alternate reality version. In my case, we came to the conclusion that upon meeting with myself I would either work together and spread mass chaos the likes the world has never seen or try to kill each other and the winner would absorb the loser and become an unstoppable force of nature. Either way, life would never be the same again. Fooorrrevvverrrrrr!
ReplyDeleteInteresting....you're using "Derpy" for the male version of the "Ditzy" character. A name-related gaffe from one of the female Mane Six would probably slip the baked-goods obsessed letter-carrier's mind owing to his food-related tunnel vision just as easily as it would the filly they left back home.
ReplyDeleteThis chapter.
ReplyDeleteMade my heart explode.
With awesome.
(Keep up the heart-explodingly awesome work, then :D, because you are *good* at it!)
that last episode was just.. [RBD]SO AWESOME[/RBD]
ReplyDelete@Shawa666
ReplyDeletePretty sure Berry Bubble's seen a few of those in his time.
I think it's safe to say that the universe is safe. If it can handle two Pinky Pies in the same place and time, I'm not sure that there's anything that could damage it.
ReplyDeleteYAYYYYYYYYY! New chapter, I have been looking forward to this moment since my mother was impregnated by my father's seed 19 years ago - only to result in the 'wtf' I am today!
ReplyDelete"And that's how equestria was unmade"
ReplyDeleteThe Big Bang was a result of Pinkie and Berry deciding to have fireworks at the party.
ReplyDelete@Mickey
ReplyDeleteLook's like (Removes sunglasses)... Bobble Trouble
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
@Mickey
ReplyDeleteLook's like (Removes sunglasses)... Bobble Trouble
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
On a Cross and Arrow, AND Trot a Mile in Another's Hooves, all in one day?
ReplyDelete...welp, fuck my plans to get stuff done today. I have more important pony things to read.
Oh god. How Equestria was unmade indeed.
ReplyDeleteUgh....I don't know if I can wait for the next chapter!! Now that Pinkie has met her male double, Equestria is undoubtly starting to unravel!! Everyone knows the end is near!!
ReplyDelete._. Too much Pinkie Pie. Farewell, Equestria, I know thee.
ReplyDeleteOnce all the ponies have me one another I hope we get a song from Pinkie and Berry about interdimensional friendship or something!
ReplyDeleteMAXIMUM OVERPARTY.
ReplyDeleteTrixie's counterpart should be named Trevor. After all, EVERYONE loves Magical Trevor (the tricks that he does are ever so clever!).
ReplyDeleteIt seems like there's a chunk missing from Part Seven.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I loooove this story! The internet memes you just so lovingly sprinkle over the story makes it *that* much better. Can't wait for number 8!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThat would be Chapter 8
MOAR!
And that's how Equestria was unmade.
ReplyDeletei was smiling thru all of chapter 7 ^^
ReplyDeleteChapter 7 can be summed up in three words...
ReplyDeleteALL IS LOST!!
I just f-ing love this story, I'm on chapter 6 right now, and will read 7 tonight, and you know what? Whatever I'm expecting to see in this new chapter wont be as good as the real deal, and I can safely say that because of how great it is!!!!
ReplyDeleteI know that when Past Sins is over, this will take its place as the sites favorite story (well, at least for those of us who avoid all grimdark stories, fallout equestria for example).
PS: I will always remember the first chapters of progress though...
Hey, good news everyone! We survived at least 5 minutes of double-Pinkie! Keep up the good work! Oh, and Twilight? Just give it up. Any hope for secrecy is now lost. FOREVER!
ReplyDeleteConner, you did a great job of conveying the sheer insanity involved here without getting annoying about it.
@Mal
I have to agree on this one. "Why do want" just looks like a mistake.
@Jonathan
"Call the Mayor".
@Anonymous
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Alternate chapter title: "Worst Case Scenario".
ReplyDeleteMan I love this story. Double Rainboom! All the way across the sky! What does it mean? HAH! I love it.
ReplyDeleteAs for this chapter. Hah! Pinkie Sense for opposite gender version of yourself from an alternate dimension. I can just imagine Pinkie's expression when Berry starts calling for them, something akin to when she saw the sonic rainboom but BIGGER!
And that's how Equestria was unmade.
Dangit! I want more!
This was VERY GOOD! Can't wait for more... :)
ReplyDeleteTwilight's theory is basically shot now. If ANY PONY was gonna make the universe explode by touching alternate versions of themselves, it would be Pinkie. So the universe survives for a few more minutes.
ReplyDeleteIf this doesn't end with giant robots, I may be mildly displeased.
ReplyDelete@commanche105996
ReplyDeleteI disagree on the internet memes thing. I'm gonna have to side with the anon above and @Mal further up. Internet memes break the feel of the story. Like, here I am, enjoying a lovely time in Equestria, then all of a sudden, LULZ INTERNET REFERENCE. I get that some Bronies hail from 4chan, but the last thing I want is a fic I'm reading to be peppered with shoutouts to that place. Such things feel just as out of place as any OOCness, canon contradictions, or other mistakes which can lessen the quality of a fic. This quality fic is awesome and hilarious already. Memes do nothing but cheapen it!
And yeah, "Why do want" looks like the author "accidentally his grammar"(so to speak, using similar lingo).
What have done!!!!! You have brought about the pink ponypocalypse!!!!! In all seriousness though this is a good read so far. At first I didn't think it was that well written. However as this being posted I find writting getteing better and better and frankly this last chapter has me grinning like the like mad pony.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work I look forward to the next chapter