[Normal][Shipping][Sad] Yay epilogue~
Author: GanonFLCL
Description: Trixie, ashamed at being upstaged by Twilight Sparkle, seeks to regain respect in the eyes of the only person who matters - herself. But she may soon learn that she cares about the opinion of someone else...Of Mares and Magic Part 1
Of Mares and Magic Part 2
Of Mares and Magic Part 3
Of Mares and Magic Part 4
Of Mares and Magic Part 5
Of Mares and Magic Part 6
Of Mares and Magic Part 7
Of Mares and Magic Part 8
Of Mares and Magic Part 9
Of Mares and Magic Part 10
Of Mares and Magic Part 11
Of Mares and Magic Part Epilogue (New!)
PDF Version
Additional Tags: Long, Magic, Redemption, Friendship, Competition
774 comments:
Oh thank Celestia for the epilogue. I would call deus ex machina on it, but that's kind of the point of loopholes isn't it? Fantastic story, 5 stars.
ReplyDeleteWell this is better.
ReplyDeleteI think the chapter 11 update came with the complete tag in the title so mayhaps that is why everyone thought it was, y'know, complete.
ReplyDeleteI dunno about that epilogue though...with all the new elements it introduces it feels a bit contrived and has that nasty side effect of cheapening some of the prior chapters. I like that we get a happy ending, but still...
Well this is awkward.
ReplyDeleteIf he intended it to have an epilogue all along, why was it marked as "Update Complete?"
That epilogue sure is convenient...
ReplyDeleteChapter 11 was so awful, i dont think i can read the epilogue.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but the epilogue is just Twilight saying she knew about everything all along.
ReplyDeleteIf anything it's killed Chapter Eleven even harder. :'S
Ugh. At best the epilogue is a Band-aid on wound that should never have happened. The entire problem of Trixie's Chp.11 logic undermining her growth is still there, all those rules/loopholes are AssPulls, and Twilight's feelings for Trixie are taken to creepily obsessive levels all for the sake of a perfect 'happily ever after' ending.
ReplyDeleteIn short, the epilogue does not fix the problems of chapter 11, it only tries to amend them through lazy/hastily put-together narrative techniques.
...Um... ouch.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's the word... ouch.
I... actually think the epilogue shouldn't exist now. It actually felt forced and a little contrived. I honestly would've liked it just ending in Chapter 11 if this was what came out of it.
Sorry, but that epilogue just wasn't very good.
This ending was... quite acceptable! Didn't take Twilight for quite that good an actress.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the story was quite as good as a lot of people seem to make it, but I had fun along the ride and no one should rightfully care much about my particular brand of pedanterie. Looking forward ot your future work. :)
Forced sad end, forced happy end i dont know that to say man.
ReplyDeleteIn short, the epilogue does not fix the problems of chapter 11, it only tries to amend them through lazy/hastily put-together narrative techniques.
This is correct, i hope you next fic will have a better ending.
Ok, now that I read it… that Epilogue was waaaay too Deus Ex Machina, and the whole "I knew it all along" thing is really frustrating when there's absolutely no hint for it beforehand. On top of that, we all know Twilight could totally have changed Trixie's mind without having to have known it all along anyway.
ReplyDeleteI think it's already been said that the biggest part of the problem was the Author's misunderstanding of what an Epilogue was. If it hadn't been for that, then we would have the epilogue be chapter 12, so... XD Anyhoof, it was pretty good overall, though I must admit, I, personally, would have preferred the story to end on chapter 10, as it sort of became like a choose your own ending, you know? Not sure what I give this story overall, but I really liked it, and I can't wait to see what story you decide to do next, Ganon! Thanks for an excellent story overall!
ReplyDeleteI'm loving this story! Great work!
ReplyDeleteWhile I was a critic of Ch11 before, and I do think the Epilogue is a bit of a band-aid (what else could it have been, really?), it worked for me. Twilight finally demonstrates the brain power and rules lawyering one would expect of her, given the previous chapters. Trixie... well, I'm still not sure what to think of her. The fact that Twilight "knew all along" does explain why she doesn't feel as betrayed by Trixie from the events in Ch11. I'd still expect Rainbow Dash to be pissed at Trixie, but we never really saw much reaction out of her after the reveal of Enigma.
ReplyDeleteOverall the story ended up a bit shaky, but there was definitely a lot of good stuff in it. Still the best Twixie fic out there, in my mind.
That was a good ending to a fantastic story.
ReplyDeleteYES!!! Thats how to end a story!!
ReplyDeleteNow where is that seven star button?.....
well that was better, but it definitely felt as if you pulled it out of your ass when you saw the shit storm that followed chapter 11, but at least it does the fic(which is an amazing one) more justice than chapter 11 on its own did
ReplyDeleteI don't like critiquing other fanfic writers, it's far too easy to have everyone just point to my stuff and tell me I have no right to an opinion while writing the crap I do.
ReplyDeleteHowever what we had here is a simply amazing fic that well...noone really wanted to end. The author tried to get something that wasn't generic "and then happily ever after." After that failed, despite his claims, I still feel the epilogue was a crowd pleaser.
It's a real shame, but in honesty I feel Chapter Ten would have been the best ending of any. A cliffhanger that would have much more "sad" value than Chapter Eleven's.
At any rate, I still wanna thank Ganon for writing this fic, even if it faltered at the end, it was still pretty high on my reccomendations list. Now that he's finished this particular project, I'm eager to see what new fic series he rolls out.
Okay, the Epilogue kind of makes up for chapter 11. Only kind of. It was still very illogical and stuff, but that can be handwaved with a "silly Trixie" now that we at least have a happy ending that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that works better than leaving it at Chapter 11, but its better in the same way that a band-aid on a self-inflicted knife wound is better than not having a band-aid: It probably would have been better for all involved if you hadn't stabbed yourself in the first place, and the band-aid doesn't really fix the problem so much as diminish the pain.
ReplyDeleteChapter 11 still has all the issues that it has, and a retcon (especially not one with such a shaky foundation) probably wasn't the best way to go about fixing them.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteED : Blogger ate half my comment. Reposting.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's an epilogue all right.
Unfortunately, at least for me, it's too little too late. The needlessly convoluted duplicate and picture spells and Twilight acting really doesn't work so well when we spend most of chapter 11 in her head. Unreliable narrators only work when the audience is clued in that they are unreliable.
The storyline here is point-for-point what several posters were saying after last chapter, which simply leads me to believe that this is really a quick backtracking thanks to the massively negative response to the intended ending.
Good try, though, GannonFLCL. I'll look forward to your next work, and hopefully you've taken away something from this that will help you in your further writing!
Considering that the [Complete] tag was faultily added with chapter 11, the Epilogue (which would have been Chapter 11,5, since it was quite a bit shorter than the other chapters) was a nice addition to the story, albeit I expected a bit more drama, and/or content.
ReplyDeleteGlad you didn't forget about the spying spell, I know that I did.
Also, Twilight looking through everything for loopholes seems mighty plausible from my point of view.
Even if the ending of chapter 11 was kind of a letdown, and the epilogue was a bit short/thin (not that it's necessarily bad to have a short/thin epilogue) it's still a 5/5 story as far as I'm concerned.
Keep up the good work, I'd love to read more from you.
@disneyfreak
ReplyDeleteThe Epilogue is really contrived. Rules lawyering? Let me state my scepticism.
Also, the tournament? decided by an Speech? Really? The previous scores not taking part of the decision of the subsequent rounds?
I'm sure that knowing how to give speeches makes you "Great and powerful" [Sarcasm]
GanonCL, you crazy mother******.
ReplyDeleteI love you. Seriously. Now you made me all sad a few days ago, and now you make me happy!
I'd like to stress that I did feel the previous ending fit as well, and that there was nothing wrong with chapter 11, but the way you just turned it all around...
Man. Dude; You rule.
Some ponies just don't read the author's notes...
ReplyDeleteThis epilogue, the author has stated many times, was ALWAYS part of the story. It's not a band-aid or a retcon, it was part of the narrative all along.
Ugh, Ganon, I feel for you. This story was wonderful but because of technical difficulties and some literary technique misunderstandings all you seem to have recieved for your trouble is a shitstorm of whining.
But really, what you wrote isn't an epilogue. In fact, it really feels more like it should be in chapter 11 itself. There isn't really a scene break, it picks up right where ch11 ends and delivers the final resolution.
I liked the solution to the problem that Twilight came up with. It was pretty sly, but it does toe the line of being contrived. I have some issues with the idea that Twilight knew all along what was happening - while it explains why Twi is still head over heels for Trixie at the start of ch11, I become confused when I check back on the dialogue between her and Celestia. Perhaps the epilogue should be clearer on how much Twi was capable of seeing, or maybe that the spell cut out or was obscured?
@Var
ReplyDeleteIt's that very dialogue, along with the required assumption that a master magician unicorn and friend of Celestia's never realized the rules were so easily gamed that made it appear to me that this epilogue was written as a patch for a failed attempt at a bittersweet ending.
That hurt... So good. Ending with such a cliched line...
ReplyDeleteI should be angry, or disappointed, but I'm not. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire series, from beginning to end. For me, this is the definitive Twixie story.
...I almost- I wish I could have cried at the end.
I'm sorry. It's just...it feels like an "and then they woke up ending."
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't carry the same quality or hallmark of the rest, but I'll stand by my previous statement: I am very eager to see more work from Ganon, and can't wait to see what he'll come up with next.
@Var
ReplyDeleteI never said the Epilogue wasn't originally part of the narrative, but that doesn't change the fact that it still acts like a cover for Chp. 11.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI think you've missed something in your analysis, namely the letters she's getting with advice that she is likely following...'course, what this says about Celestia is even more amusing.
If duels must have a judge doesn't that make the title transfer from Trixie's father to her moot?
ReplyDeleteYou have redeemed yourself, Ganon. When I read chaper 11 earlier, I was about to give you a hard time for ruining my weekend.
ReplyDeleteWe're okay now.
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete>"Hmm..." Trixie said thoughtfully, "Well...that makes sense, actually. Affidavit must've been a Sanctioned Judge then, that's why my father insisted he be present."
Nope
Yes happy ending :D
ReplyDeleteI couldn't sleep last night cause of chapter 11, even though it was a good ending as well.
Now if only Past Sins could get a happy ending soon...
I don't know what everyone else here is complaining about. I was really happy with the epilogue. It came as a bit of a shock, since I'd pretty much accepted the bittersweet ending of chapter 11, but I'm glad that the story ended on a high. I'm not sure if it counts as an epilogue though. Most epilogues I've read take place some time after the main events of the story as a way to tie up a few of the loose ends. This came as more of a direct continuation from chapter 11, so probably should have just been chapter 12. Anyway, that's just me being picky, you've still got 5 stars from me.
ReplyDeleteI'm still looking forward to seeing more of your work. Don't let a few negative comments get you down, the overall high rating of this story speaks volumes about the quality of your writing.
Even worse then that would contradict what Trixie said earlier in that her father made sure no one was around to try and save him, either way it just makes the epilogue sound very rushed
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteYou sure you read that right?
Nopony was around, EXCEPT for Trixie, Paragon and Affidavit, the legal advisor.
The latter had been sworn to secrecy and not to intervene under any circumstances.
@Var
ReplyDelete"This epilogue, the author has stated many times, was ALWAYS part of the story. It's not a band-aid or a retcon, it was part of the narrative all along."
I think you'll find most of the people here are completely capable of reading the author's notes, but we are also capable of independent thought. Because, you see, that's what was said about the Epilogue, but what I actually read for the most part comes off as something that was written in response to the shitstorm rather than something that was planned in advance (or, perhaps more accurately, something that was planned in advance but was heavily modified to assuage the anger over Chapter 11).
That isn't to say that I think there was never an Epilogue in mind. There are certain elements about it that were really damned clever, to the extent that I think they legitimately were planned in advance. Really small callbacks and clues that I doubt could have been woven together so quickly unless they were already being considered. But the majority of the Epilogue still reads as a response to criticism rather than a forethought grand ending to the story. And if that wasn't the intent and if I'm completely in the wrong, I'm sorry, but that is still what it reads like to me.
Read the whole thing and loved it, and I really didn't expect the epilogue. Thought it just ended after chp 11 with Trixie giving up Twilight, but I liked how you ended it :D
ReplyDeleteThe epilogue does seem like it should have just been part of chapter eleven. I would argue that it's not an epilogue at all, really. See, the last few pages of chapter 11 (RAAAAGH) tell the (very happy yay!) ending of the story. An epilogue would go on to be an extra scene or two that takes place after the "proper" end to the story, even if the epilogue includes even more plot stuff. If you were to do a real epilogue, it could be for example a big party scene or Twixie having children or the "gazillion years later this is their legacy and it's awesome" bit.
ReplyDeleteI guess you could call it a conclusion.
Blah blah blah blah....
Anyways, that's nitpicking. I wanted to enjoy this story, and guess what? I loved it! Congrats! That sure was a doozy, right?
@Bunny 34
ReplyDelete>"Two ponies know for certain - myself, and my father's attorney, Penstroke; he had to be there as a witness to the transferal, if it took place. And he was sworn to secrecy of the whole thing by my father's last breath. [...]"
Apparently his name is Affidavit Penstroke...
Ganon, you magnificent bastard! I love you.
ReplyDeleteDawww... You actually made an epilogue changing the bittersweet ending... The ending to 11 was brilliant in my opinion, ending with the greatest gesture of love anyone can ever show. And yet, the epilogue was just as great. It made sense, it wasn't too quick or too "Oh LOL I gots ya'll!!!!"
ReplyDeleteYou didn't really need to apologize, it's your story. It's a look into your mind to see something that you have created, it's a privalige, not a right. Though, I do admit found myself laughing as I read the comments before and just after your announcement of an epilogue, everyone's "WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?" reaction was PRICELESS!!! XD
Anyway, the score of 5/5 still stands.. ^_^ Great job, and I look foreward to your next fic if you so choose to continue writing.
YOU EPIC DOUCHEBAG!!!! you nearly caused manly tears for the small pastel ponies! ugh i'm so glad i got on today and saw this...well written. but my god man, way to jerk us around right at the end.
ReplyDeleteTwilight: "HEY TRIXIE I KNEW ALL ALONG! TROLOLOL!"
ReplyDeleteWay to kill any emotional tension. This entire epilogue is just... Twilight blabbing her head off and explaining why the last two chapters were COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS.
Hey, I'm gonna let all my friends think I'm obsessed and in massive emotional pain, when I'm really just fine and snooping on you every night!
THE FUCK?!
Trixie doesn't know how duels are carried out these days in spite of announcing herself as TGAP in every city, town and hamlet, for years?! Nobody ever said, "Hey, I can take that loudmouth"? And she went to challenge Twilight without even knowing how a duel works?
THE FUCK?!
You know all that rage from the end of the previous chapter? I'm now feeling the same amount of disappointment.
I know it won't make any difference, but I'm knocking a star off for this ending. It's just so... pat.
ReplyDeleteI had a marker on this, to follow it easily.
ReplyDeleteToday I was gonna check it for the last time before deletion.
And there's an epilogue.
I came in my pants.
@Bunny 34
ReplyDeleteDear lord, that's one unfortunate name. It basically predestines the poor pony to a life of lawyering.
Great fic up until the tournament.
ReplyDeleteThe story kind of falls apart then.
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteOh wow. You're totally right. GDI, and here I was content to have a happy ending. Right, so I'll just pretend 11 + epilogue never happened. That'll make it better.
I dunno, something about the epilogue just... didn't feel right to me. I mean I prefer the happy ending to chapter 11's ending, but chapter 11's ending at least felt powerful, if heartbreaking. The epilogue just felt kinda rushed in my opinion. I think the end of chapter 11 and the epilogue could have been worked differently and achieve the same end while feeling more satisfying, but oh well.
ReplyDeleteMy OC's name is Enigma. I decided on the name around the time chapter 10 came out. Suddenly it shows up in chapter 11.
ReplyDeleteFor thoes of you who doubt Divine Intervention, have fun with this turn of events.
(I know why they chose the name, it is an AWESOME name)
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI think I'm inclined to agree. Chapters 1-10 makes a great story, and open endings aren't a bad thing.
I actually liked the non-epilogue -ending better...
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD SO MUCH YES.
ReplyDeleteHNNNNNNNNNNNNNG-
SO MUCH YES. SO HARD. FUCK YES. HELL FUCKING YES.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI will agree with the anon here, it went from feeling Trixie was out of character to Twilight being out of character. But with Trixie she was in-orbit-out-of-bounds OOC, Twilight not so much.
Either way! I think the general consensus is that with your ability, Epilogue could have been better, BUT. This is the proper note to end a shipping-centric fic on, rather than a fic that just has a shipping element to it. That's really the main difference between the two.
Well done, GanonFLCL, and congratulations on the true completion of your first popular fic. We eagerly await more. o/
Also, here's the Triforce back.
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteThis. Exactly this.
Twilight's explanation of "WHY!?" kind of sort of made sense, but it still killed the story. It means all the turmoil and drama in the last year was FAKED.
Furthermore, this is what we on tvtropes call an ASSPULL. Twilight had a secret evesdropping spell in place?
There's special rules that nobody ever mentioned before?
Dueling in modern times runs according to totally different rules than what's been set up through the whole story?
That's all pulled out of your ass at the last minute.
If you want to have revelations like that, you have to set them up ahead of time. You have to have a chekhov's gun, have those story elements shown ahead of time.
Sparring is the normal way to duel? Trixie should know that -- but she might be unfamiliar with the rules because after what happened with Paragon, she refuses to duel that way. Now that she knows it wasn't her fault, she can start healing, and part of that is that she will be more amenable to using the modern dueling rules. You would have to have set this up in chapter 1 with Trixie saying "No, I don't want to spar, I want to do this the old fashioned way."
Twilight had an inkling of what was going on? She should have shown it -- been unsurprised when Trixie revealed herself (or, because she's a bad actor, ridiculously oversurprised to the point that everyone is looking at her going, 'What the heck?'). Actually this is the worst point and would probably require a total rewrite of chapter 11 to make it work if it could be made to work at all.
The special rules relating to unique titles are maybe the easiest to explain away, but in that case Twilight would need to have been unaware of the rules but Celestia aware back in chapter 1 -- Twilight writes a note to Celly before the first round just to say 'hey, this is happening', and Celestia appoints Rarity judge without Twilight really knowing what that means. Then Twilight did research and found the special rules during the intervening year.
But it doesn't matter. This epilogue is awful. Worse than Chapter 11. The story should've ended with Trixie leaving on her training journey at Chapter 10.
Dear Princess Celestia,
ReplyDeleteThis week, GanonFLCL learned that if you try to please everypony, you oftentimes end up pleasing nopony.
I decided to just reread chapter 10 again, and leave that as the end. I think it's the most fitting. And the end of that is definitely very happy. Thanks for the story, I really enjoyed most of it :).
ReplyDeleteActually, you know, given that the theme here is that making friends made Trixie a better perso-- er, pony, a better epilogue would have been the next day, when they all get together, Pinkie (who is possibly Trixie's best friend and occasionally amazingly perceptive) notices the telltale signs that Trixie's been crying all night -- Twilight has too, of course -- and working to get them together. Figuring out a loophole in the rules could be Twilight's contribution. Sparring doesn't have to be the preferred modern method; just have Trixie say, as her father did, that she wants to do it the old way, and sparring has special rules attached.
ReplyDeleteThe wrap up could be done as a "everyone works together to make it all work out right", instead of "Twilight has secret knowledge that makes it all work out right".
I went from crying at the end of chapter 11 to a happy face at the end of the epilogue. Very good story and very good ending
ReplyDeletefix'd
ReplyDeletethank you
Wow. I just had to say stuff at this.
ReplyDeleteThe story around the tournament did in fact feel a bit off to me. I ended up 'skimming' through parts of it. But the story stopped feeling like the main cast were the same ones we see on TV to me around chapter 7 or so, and become the authors own versions. So the story from then on felt like it was entirely the authors own thing. The tournament didnt really turn the story off for me; neither did the ending. Being IC/OOC at that point didnt matter anymore and I just read the story.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. I would recommend it to my friends if any of them read fanfic; or could read anything more than 2 pages long. Write more!
@Escher
ReplyDeleteThis. I now consider chapter 10 to be the "ending". Still, I eagerly await your next fic, Ganon.
My reaction to this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfJR6sAo0CU
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And yeah there is a lot of talk about this being a band-aid to heal such a sad "ending". But I trust that the author intended this all along.
And you know, even if it was a band-aid (which it isn't) I wouldn't have cared in the least. Beautiful! BRAVO!
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteThis. So much this.
You should have nixed chapter 11 and your horrendously cobbled-together epilogue and had a completely different epilogue that doesn't completely tell what's going on, but gives the reader hope.
Something like it's a year later, Twilight is waiting in the duel field, it's late; just before midnight. Trixie shows up. Twilight tries to talk to her, but Trixie insists on starting the duel immediately. Twilight wishes her luck, and the fic ends with Trixie saying something borderline sappy but still semi-arrogant like, "Don't expect me to go easy on you just because I love you, Twilight Sparkle." If you'd have posted that, it would have been a respectable but ambiguous ending, all your readers would have squee'd, and the 5 stars would have rolled in.
As it stands, I don't know what you were going for, what you were trying to accomplish with this fic. If you had a vision from the start, you betrayed it at the end, one way or another. I sincerely hope that chapter 11 was your original intended ending and you're lying about having planned that epilogue, because the epilogue really ruins the whole fic more than Chapter 11 did. It's just so rushed, such an asspull, such a tacked-on executive ending that if you actually wrote the whole fic from the beginning to present that ending, it's just atrocious.
Still, the a huge portion of the fic was really good. Let this be a lesson to you: The parts of the story that stick most with the reader are the beginning and the end. If you screw up the end, everyone will howl, and the more they liked the rest of your fic, the louder they'll be.
YES YES YES
ReplyDeleteepilogue!
This better actually wrap up this story well... And not be illogical like the last chapter...
...No.
ReplyDeleteThis is a terrible epilogue, and pretty much ruined the whole story for me. I prefer chapter 11 as the ending.
Basically, as others have said, you're just pulling too many convenient plot points out of your ass for the epilogue. It's not good.
Eh-heh... I'm never one to criticize, but I have to agree with some of the folks here... Chapter 11 and the Epilogue pretty much ruined the story for me.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I couldn't even finish the Epilogue. I had to give up and face the fact, Chapter 10 is the true ending to me. As soon as I read ("Please, Trixie," Twilight smirked, "Don't tell me you can't spot a Duplication spell")... my mind instantly responded "Oh HERE we go..." and as I continued to read, it just down-spiraled from there. I could smell - forgive my language - the bullshit.
Nothing else I can say, truly... like I said, Chapter 10 was the ending for me. So as far as my denial tells me, you've done really well. Just be careful for the future and take ShadowCell's stolen Twilight monologue to heart.
Well I might consider it a coincidence but EXACTLY that KIND of ending in chapter 11 that I needed to read. I don't know why but I feel like even the Enigma part was predictable as f*ck I didn't even seem to care and still got a little surprised. I don't know why but I seem to like to read sad stories as of late. And with what just happened a while ago I think I need a new one more than ever.
ReplyDeleteThe epilogue was ok.
-Too short for my tastes as I expected to read through a wall of text but came to saw just a few pages of text which well didn't meet my expectations in terms of LENGTH and LENGTH alone.
THANK CELESTIA THE EPILOGUE FIXED EVERYTHING. I WOULD'VE KICKED A FILLY TO DEATH IF IT HADN'T.
ReplyDeleteSorry to say but this epilogue just feels like hastily written attempt to fix some damage left by the real ending.
ReplyDeleteYou just pull so many convenient plot devices out of nowhere that they just leave bunch of plot holes that undermine the whole story.
Just for few examples:
1) If Twilight knew all this time exactly what Trixie was doing any of her actions during chapter 11 doesn't make any sense. She would have know when to wait for Trixie, not to stand every day waiting for her, she would have been able to tell Spike what dragon hunting really meant, and so on.
2) I'm pretty sure that if the duels were supposed to take around few hours instead of a week. Then when Twilight contacted Celestia and asked for all that stuff for duel she would have just responded along the lines "wtf are you doing?"
3) Trixie has been dueling for basically her whole life, I'm pretty sure that at this point she would be quite aware of the fact that duels are not supposed to last whole week every time.
And I gave it 5 stars AFTER reading chapter 11. I mean I reconsidered giving it a 4 because of the last line of said chapter. Being sick of hearing it I wanted to rage but my sad emotions took the better of me and instead didn't give a damn about the last line like it never existed. So yeah 5/5
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDelete1. Have to agree with you on that one.
2. Who? Celestia? I'm pretty sure that if Twilights friends knew about her crush on Trixie, that Celestia would have at least an idea of it. (Giving Twilight 1 week with her crush instead of a few hours.) Also even if she didn't know Twilight was crushing on Trixie, Trollestia much?
3. Trixies first serious duel was with her father (as in, for a title), and he ended up dying for (what she thought) was taking her lightly. Obviously she doesn't want to kill another pony (ponies don't usually like others doing that), and goes the easy way around it, choosing to out perform/humiliate them instead.
The sparing duel is a new(er) concept around ~400 year old and is the one the students would use on campus, but the thought of a book with more details, more examplar text and definitions, WOULD seem like a more official and (apparently newer,) complete guide for it, which it was not.
The complete guide (original I suppose) was in Celestias possession, and couldn't be read/dug through for loopholes before after the duel between Twilight and Trixie, after which, Twilight has apparently spend the good amount of a year doing so, while also learning that the "campus duel"/Trixie-Paragon duel was the newer and easier way.
TL;DR
Is that a plothole? Let me just make wild random ideas to make them viable.
<3
ReplyDeleteSappy, cheesy, blatantly obvious, and cute as feck :P
I loved what I read, I must admit :)
Oh btw what happened to all that "Holder of this title must travel" stuff from chapter 11?
ReplyDeleteEpilogue was ok but seemed to quick and easy. Forced.
ReplyDeleteSorry.
Chapter 11 had a beautiful, brilliant sad ending that was one of the best written in this fandom. And the Epilogue utterly ruined it. I'm really, really disappointed. This story was so well-written, especially with the character interactions, that I was sad to see it would be coming to an end somewhere after Chapter 9. And now I wish that it hadn't ended.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteAs far as my limited understanding on how this Must Travel Stuff ended.
It's sorta like this:
*Twilight makes sure Trixie gets to be only with the Mane 6 + Derpy so when the 24 hour "I cannot be challenged because of the tournament grace period." is over Twilight can challenge her first because she is literally in front or near her.
*Trixie vs Twilight 1 year Magician's Duel
while Rarity will be the Official Judge.
*What Rarity will do is well nothing. So it's like Trixie and Twi got almost a year to well be together.
*They spend most of the year together.
*When year is about to end they finish the Duel.
*Twilight won. (For example though this will be the likely result.)
*Trixie cannot challenge Twi to ANY kind of challenge same goes for Twi challenging Trixie for one month.
*Twilight has to defend the title from anypony that wants to claim it.
*After one month. Rinse and Repeat.
Is my understanding on Twilight's plan so Trixie doesn't have to leave Twilight right?
ReplyDeleteYeah but in the last letter to Twilight it said:
ReplyDelete"I know you want me to remain in Ponyville, but...if I hold the title of Great and Powerful again, I will be forced to travel. It’s part of the job, unfortunately."
It sound that traveling has nothing to do with the duels, it just something you "have" to do if you have the title "Great and Powerful".
Yeah I know it was just a shitty plot device to make the original ending to work but it still can't be just forgotten to make the new ending to work.
It’s part of the job, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteNow that I am happier than ever this line bugs me because now I am in the right mind to think properly and I sense something wrong.
Who am I to care anyway? I liked how the story played with my emotions and I am not gonna let some predictability and contradicting points to ruin the feeling I felt while reading this.
bah
ReplyDeleteI think I'd rather take the 11 ending to this episode. How much time did you put in to writing the epilogue? 5 minutes? God that was horrible.
Seriously you could've done SO much better!
You're one of my fav authors but sorry this is just so not good.
-____-
At first I read the final chapter, and I was like KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
ReplyDeleteBut then I read the epilogue and I was like d'aawwwwwwwwwww
Is is bad that I giggles endlessly at the 9,000 gag until I was out of breath?
ReplyDeleteBah, what do I care? That was really amusing!
Despite everypony else thinking that your epilogue was forced, I really enjoyed it GanonFLCL. After reading the end of chapter 11, I was crushed, and a part of me died. The epilogue made it better.
ReplyDeleteYES
ReplyDeletehappy epilogue!
I knew that it wasn't over yet...
And that ending made me laugh more than I have in a while, that's for sure.
I would love to see a real epilogue. Ideally chapter 11 and the "epilogue" could be combined and a new epilogue would take place a year later or something.
ReplyDeleteConsider it as an apology for screwing up and especially for putting up a [complete] tag on the story when it was in no way finished.
Finally a happy ending. Thank you Ganon, the epilogue was the ending the story deserved. Yay!
ReplyDeleteI cannot BELIEVE i fell for that ending on chapter 11.
ReplyDeleteYou are a damn good writer, sir.
I'm happier with the epilogue than chapter 11's but come on, Twilight new the whole time? There goes any and all of the mystery behind Trixie's travels and letters. I'm pretty dissapointed. Not to say I'm dissapointed with the story; I've been with this from chapter 1 since it came out and I've enjoyed every moment (until now). Trixies developement was done very well. It's a shame that the last 2 chapters (11 + epi) were done (imo) poorly. You're a very entertaining writer nonetheless. I'll pretend to myself that chapter 10 was the end.
ReplyDelete(As you can probably tell, spying Twilight/making a lot of the previous chapter void really irritated me)
That's enough of a rant. Thank you for this thoroughly enjoyable story; the personalities will stick with me as I read more.
Very sad this is over.
ReplyDeleteWell, that is MUCH better. Re-revised my rating back to 5/5. I'd love to see some follow up tales, even if their just short little things.
ReplyDeleteMy greetings, dear sir, it is the same Chayn from yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI've read an Epilogue today, and, I hate to admit, but I cannot help but to join forces with all those who say "BOO" and "Forced".
Chapter 11 was just...brilliant. It was a shinig diamond, by lookin' at his beauty I've had my share of tears.
And then there were Epilogue...blunt, weakm but happy, nonetheless.
How about that you name this Epilogue some kind of "alternate ending" or something...so this just doesn't look lame...this much.
What you posted was not an epilogue. It was the conclusion. The last chapter of a story is not the place for a cliffhanger ending unless it's part one of a two part story. The ending chapter is supposed to resolve the conflicts presented by the story in a way that matches the development through the story. In this, you failed. The epilogue should either have been part of chapter 11, or expanded into a chapter of it's own.
ReplyDeleteThat said - take the angry complaints as a good sign. It means that you managed to get your readers invested in the story, which is a sign of good writing. Just - lay off the cliffhangers for the last chapter of a story, please? And don't add a tag at the last minute.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to downrate you now. The sudden sad end wasn't cool but it did sort of fit the story and I can understand why you'd have done that. But, now with the epilogue, you have Trollight just pulling a Celestia Gambit out of her ass and losing all of the emotional ties any of us had to this story.
ReplyDeleteBasically, 1-10 were great, 11 was OK, Epilogue kills the story.
at first i was like aww but then i was like yay!
ReplyDelete> Chapter 11 was just...brilliant. It was a shinig diamond, by lookin' at his beauty I've had my share of tears.
ReplyDelete... Where are you ponies coming from?! Was there some sort of secret chapter 11 that didn't throw away every bit of Trixie's character development for the sake of yet another cliffhanger, that I never got to read? Is this some sort of "It didn't have a happy end ohmygosh IT MUST BE BRILLIANT AND ART" reaction?
I actually considered this a 5/5 story due to the incredibly ballsy conclusion of chapter 11. The epilogue utterly ruins things, and not because it reverses the sad ending, but because it does it in such an unbelievably forced way. It feels like a hastily cobbled together band-aid based on the negative feedback from the last chapter. There's no way to really know if this was the case or not, but in your next story please write and end it the way you want to, not the way your readers want you to. It's your story after all.
ReplyDelete"No way to really know"? What, the author clearly stating that it was never intended to be the ending isn't enough for you? He's ballsy enough to write the ending this way, yet somehow pushover enough to instantly start to cobble together an epilogue when he saw people didn't accept it? How is that supposed to work?
ReplyDelete@Silfir
ReplyDeleteYes, there's no way to really know unless you take the author's word for it. I'm not 100% certain that it's true due to the, for lack of a better term, asspull nature of the epilogue not matching how carefully planned out other parts of the story seemed to be. I am certain he didn't expect such a severe reaction to chapter 11. Reader feedback can cause you to second guess yourself.
@Silfir
ReplyDeleteSadly...these are my thoughts exactly upon reading these comments.
Ganon is a great writer, which is why I won't accept 11 and the apolopilogue as part of the story. They don't fit into his great writing style, so they're going to the moon like Left4Dead 2 did when I refused to acknowledge it in Valve's awesome lineup.
Sadly, the epilogue doesn't change much for me as well. It solves none of the problems of the 11th chapter. In fact, it just adds one more. I read the thing twice, but I can not for the life of me figure out why on earth Twilight needed the duplication spell. Everything she needed to know was already in the letters, and the final letter was obviously send even before Trixie started to make her way back to Ponyville. So what was the point of that? Anything said to her duplicate might as well have been said to Twilight directly. And I assume that Twilight was making the duplicate say anything she said... So why not just be there? Why make a duplicate, have that conversation, send the duplicate away and THEN enter herself and tell Trixie she already knows everything? It makes absolutely no sense to me.
ReplyDeleteOn top of that, as far as the shipping part of the story goes, to me this was just to dry. There is almost no emotion in the epilogue, after such a long build up that is just a bit disappointing.
However, personally I rather like the scrying spell idea. It would be something Twilight would do, and the nod back to Trixie doing the same in one of the earliest chapters does work well. As some others have said, perhaps Twilight should have been acting a bit differently if she knew everything, but I don't really mind that to be honest.
Some people have said they consider to story to end with chapter 10. Personally, I would just as gladly except the end of everything to be Trixie stating she doesn't love Twilight. Its a frustrating end, unsatisfying, but the rest of chapter 11 I think was fun enough to be included and it would feel a shame to discard it. Everything after that though, epilogue included... A lot of it makes no sense and its just nowhere near the quality of the other chapters.
I feel it could have been even sadder....
ReplyDeleteWhen Twi was waiting for Trixie, the entire time I was waiting for the line "It's been four years, Twi, she's not coming back"
Now while I already commented after initially reading (Believe I said things about it being sappy/forced but me enjoying it :P)
ReplyDeleteI will say I agree with the notion that it felt a bit forced, and sub-par to what the rest of the story was (the ending in 11 was sad, and I didn't "want" it but it was beautiful and felt right, I feel a change with the epi could have gone better but the one you gave was acceptable by any means :P)
I must say though, after this read I am impressed by your skills and would gladly continue reading into eternity if you keep writing such gold as this :P To see you gain further grasps on what the ending should be would be a wonderful experience :)
@Flaskgark
ReplyDeleteTHAT, would have been a powerful and sad ending.
I felt this fic woulda done better with a happier ending, rather than trying to be sad. It doesn't play to Ganon's strengths, (comedy, happy writing).
I was gonna say it was an awesome read and though it had a bittersweet ending it was a memorable use of the ol' "let them go" technique.
ReplyDeleteAnd poor Twilight.
Then I saw their was an epilogue, a happy ending and Twilight trolling Trixie over her dramatic showing moment.
Nicely done sir.
I could have taken the ch.11 ending with no problem, but I I'll take a happier one when I can.
Though now I'm left curious over what gifts Trixie was going to give to everypony from her travels.
The only complaint I have about the epilogue is that there wasn't any real, clear reference to when Twilight did the spying spell. We at least knew it could be done (and thus, it was not as much of a deus ex machina as some might try 'n act, in my opinion), but I think it would have settled with everyone better if you hinted that Twilight did 'something' to the object that she was apparently using back in an earlier chapter.
ReplyDeleteThe legalese works perfect. It was made perfectly obvious that not everyone was acquainted with ALL of the rules, and anyone who's ever taken a gander at most rulebooks can usually find some gaps, oversights or loopholes pretty easy. What's more, Twilight avidly studying an extended rulebook she's never seen before isn't just 'plausible' in my book, but downright expected (not like, I guessed she would, but it's in her character to do things like that). That part fit nicely.
Overall, I think the Epilogue could have been handled just a bit better. On the whole, though, it gives a satisfying conclusion to the story. n n.
Now thats what i call an ending! Sure, I was short, but damn if it was better that the last chapters one "shudders".
ReplyDeleteI take away everything I say, I now I can truly re-read this story in the future!
Ok, I read the epilogue. I'd like to apologize to you. I'd also like to retract the hour-long tirade I went on damning you in every way I could in our language. Then replace it with joy and wonder! WOOO HAPPINESS. You are good peoples.
ReplyDeleteI must say I enjoyed this story. All the way through the duel I was anxious to see how Trixie would change. I enjoyed the final tournament, and I was on my seat at the end of Chapter 11, thinking about how sad that ending was with Trixie lying to Twilight to try and protect her. Imagine my surprise and delight when the epilogue comes out and Trixie was the one outwitted instead. I know there are many people out there who complain about the story, but let me just say that I enjoyed this all the way through and I look forward to any additional stories that you choose to release. Keep up the amazing work GanonFLCL.
ReplyDeleteI was interested in this until the whole father thing came up. Now im not.
ReplyDeleteWhen Trixie blew up because she thought Twilight was holding back, that was excellent! But then saying 'This isnt about pride' just made me angry. Shes Trixie. Shes ALL pride. Its a cornerstone of her damn personality, and this silly dad thing just comes across as forced and mroe importantly nonsensical.
I will continue to read, but i dont have high hopes. Youve really gone out of character with Trixie and thats sad.
@GanonFLCL
ReplyDeleteThank you for teaching me a very valuable lesson. It was painful but worth it.
No matter how promising, I won't ever start reading another fanfic until it's complete and has been reviewed through the end.
This ending pleases me better, now i can put Trixie a step higher, from the characters i like to one of my favourite characters. With the other ending it would've been sad thinking about it everytime i saw a fanart of Trixie.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved the fic. Some parts of it were stronger than others. The epilogue felt a bit slapped on, but it I liked what it did overall, as the last chapter left me rather depressed. In general I felt it all came together quite well.
ReplyDeleteThe ONLY major issue I had throughout any of it was the absolutely unnecessary inclusion of the "OVER 9000" meme. I saw it coming and dreaded it from a mile away(as soon as the first MP levels were mentioned), prayed it wouldn't actually be used...and then it was, and I facepalmed.
It was totally unfunny, and "took me out of Equestria" so to speak. The last thing I want to encounter while reading a fanfic this amazing is something that conjures up images of Dragonball fucking Z(as well as 4chan and the Internet in general).
The tunes that Pinkie Pie played at the party were excusable, as Pinkie Pie(and ONLY Pinkie Pie) is allowed to break the 4th wall.
I LOVE how you referenced Story of the Blanks in chapter 6. This fanfic is amazing, can't stop reading it~
ReplyDeleteOh, one thing I wanted to make note of (how anal can I get here?) is the ratings for each of the semi-finalist's scores, in decibels.
ReplyDeleteIT's written that the crowd gave Enigma 149 dB. I find this hard to believe. Because decibels are measured on a logaritmic scale and not a linear, it's not a clear cut as increasing the numbers to indicate more noise.
The general rule of thumb is that to get an increase of 2dB, you have to DOUBLE your volume.
Assuming that a pony's max dB output is 100 (it would actually be lower than that, seeing as 100dB is more akin to what you'd get out of a jackhammer at full blast), getting 148 dB requires roughly 16,500,000 ponies. On top of that, volume drops off over distance, and you have to take into account how much space a pony takes up, and how much space is required to optimally house 16 million individuals... It's a safe bet to assume some of those ponies would be over half a mile away, in which case they could hardly contribute to the overall dB reading.
Whereas with Twilight @ 118, you would only require 512.
If you want to say something like 'Arena acoustics' or 'magical enhancment', well, if it was the arena, Everyone's score would have been higher, and if it was magical enhancment, then somepony was cheating.
TL;DR: 149 dB is not possible.
I'll just go away now.
I LOVE how you referenced Story of the Blanks in chapter 6. This fanfic is amazing, can't stop reading it~
ReplyDeleteWow, how disappointing.
ReplyDeleteI really, REALLY liked the Bittersweet ending in Chapter 11. This just felt more like a cop-out to shut up the whiners who wanted a happy ending (and before anyone says anything, yes I know an Epilogue was planned before that).
I'm just gonna pretend Chapter 11 is still the ending.
No. I refuse to consider this ended. It... No, it just can't end like that! TT.TT
ReplyDeleteNo. I refuse to consider this ended. It... No, it just can't end like that! TT.TT
ReplyDeletewell I hope people are happy with that epilogue. I preferred it when it was its cold bareness of it before, but the epilogue just created a loophole that wasn't even there just to please the people who complained. They didn't even get it, they don't understand that the link to her title was all she had of her father, to it's not about her. It was made blatantly clear in the story that that was the case, but I guess when shipping is involved, people don't care.
ReplyDeleteThis story actually put me onto trixieXtwilight, but I understand the difficulty of the character, and it's a cop-out to expect the author to just ignore all that trixie was. People don't want who trixie is, they want this imaginary version. The author here did a fantastic job of bringing out a likable and relate-able character in trixie, and it made sense (I'm going to imagine the unicorn duels as canon), but I guess this loophole logic was the only way they could be together with their scenario.
Just to the people who complained, imagine if for years you thought you directly killed your own father, and his title was all you had left. You think you could give that up so easily?
I felt that the epilogue was rushed and sort of crammed together. Emotions were played well enough, but it really just didn't make much sense.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed that you were just desperately trying to find a reason to smack those two back together.
But, whatever. You admitted in the Epilogue that you make mistakes, so I'm not mad or anything.
This is a great choice for who ever you are.
ReplyDeleteIf you like:
Happy endings: Epilogue
Sad endings: You can consider chapter 11 the end
My last comment solidified my points on this, but wanted to add my last sentiment from my collective comments through my actual account xD-
ReplyDelete<3'd it (check other comments if you give a damn xD)
Would love more from ya ;)
Well. This was a fantastic story. I can't even begin to say all of the positive things I want to about the story. It was amazingly well-done, and it just worked. Almost nothing seemed forced in the story, unlike so many other stories (shipping ones especially). Suffice it to say that, while I am about to offer some criticisms, you should not take them the wrong way. They were very minor things in an otherwise amazing story.
ReplyDeleteI do have to say, though, it degraded a bit toward the end. The last half really could have used one more editing pass (a few sentences were really awkwardly worded, and think I found at least one homophone mistake, though I can't recall where), and the meme content was a little high at times. Nothing was too major, it just broke up the flow of the story a bit.
Overall, again, amazing work. Keep it up!
SPOILERS
ReplyDeleteIn summary, you had me at the first half with Trixie interacting with the other characters while the Duel was more of a MacGuffin to move the plot forward. I was saddened when Trixie left to travel the globe but you kept it interesting with tales of other countries outside Equestria. I rolled with the tournament not unnoticed (I was like, "Tournament? What? Whatever). Then from the end of Chapter 11 onwards, I felt, in order, depressed, enraged, confused and finally frustrated.
Depressed and enraged because I hate it when shipfics start out promising and deliver to a certain degree, then throw a curve-ball that makes the "shipping" aspect null and void.
"If you truly love something, you must learn to set it free." Not what I signed up for, Pally.
Confused because EVERYTHING was set up. The Epilogue sucked out all the drama from ALL of Chapter 11. Apparently the rules of the Duel and the meaning of the title were really important plot devices instead of MacGuffins for the characters to react to.
And frustrated because while a majority of it was well done, the ending and epilogue just irritates me to no end and the Dueling was way overblown. Honestly, if you cut out everything from the last third of Chapter 10 to the epilogue, a satisfactory ending could've been put there.
Here's my idea: Duels over, Trixie stays, her and Twilight get together, Pinkie Pie throws a party, the end.
Honestly, I never cared about the Duel, I never cared about why the title "Great and Powerful" was so important, all I cared about were the character interactions and how Trixie evolved as a character.
So yeah, next time you do a shipfic, keep it simple.
If anyone had told me, prior to this exact moment in my life, that the most heartwarming thing I would ever read was fanfiction about feuding lesbian unicorns, I would have decked them.
ReplyDeleteAnd then dropped furniture on them.
And then set the furniture on FIRE.
Twixie is the best thing ever.
I must say, I loved the story overall (and was personally saddened when it came to the end of Chapter 11, yay Epilogue!)
ReplyDeleteThough when Pinky-Pie started rattling off internet Meme's I almost stopped reading because even for her character, it was just so stupid because it broke the fourth wall (and not in the way that Pinkie usually does), and I hated it. Though that's just my opinion.
Also, for the love of Celestia, Derpy's name is Ditzy-Doo, there's really no excuse for using Derpy as her name, unless it's sort of a "behind her back" thing. It was another thing that shattered the fourth wall unnecessarily, and almost turned me off of the story.
Though I stuck through to the end, and I'm glad I did.
Alright, I'll start off by saying that I officially have another favorite ship: Twixie.
ReplyDeleteAfter I finished this story, I found it hard to contain my tears. Not of sadness, though. Of happiness, because this whole story was that beautiful!
Anyway, got some key things I'd like to mention about this story. I'll try my best to have them not be huge explanations:
Note: Their not in order (by chapter), though.
1.) I like how you made it so Trixie got her cutie mark from also seeing Dash's first Rainboom.
2.) In chapter 5(?), the scene witht the party, I was able to identify most of those song references.
Except 1 1/2 of them:
a.) the second last song, the one that starts "You've got the power...", what song is that and who is it by?
b.) I know the last one is called "What Is Love?" but I don't know who it's by, though.
3.) When Twilight/Trixie are fighting in chapter 9, this was the first part to get me choked up. Because, I felt sorry for both of them in that situation. I felt sorry for Trixie because we just learned her father was dead, and I felt sorry for Twilight because of what she had to do to calm Trixie down: seriosuly hurting her/risk killing her!
4 a.)In chapter 11, it was cringe-worthy at first having all those meme references all so close to each other.
b.) Awesome! you put Vinyl Scratch in this contest! You also put Octavia there too! Also awesome! Pinkie's reaction to that was just priceless! I also loved that reference to "The Vinyl Scratch Tapes" you made there too! Heh, Lyra entered too! Cool!
You made Prince Blueblood enr, wasn't expecting that!
c.) I first realized "Enigma" was trixie when the words "Enigma" and "mystery mare" were used in the same sentence.
5.) During Dash's explanation of the obstacle course, she starts off by saying "First rule of... the long name she gave it, you don't talk about it!" obvious "Fight Club" refernece. But, my question is: was the rest of her speech about it a reference to the movie as well?
I've never seen the movie before, so I may just be assuming it's a reference.
6.) Pinkie sensing Trixie and Twilight having "alone time"! AWK-WARD!
I'll put the last siz points I want to bring up in another post, in case I'm close to the character limit here.
Continued:
ReplyDelete7.) Dash's reaction to seeing Vinyl Scratch perform in the semi-finals was awesome! Wehn Vinyls' performance was being explained, I was thinking "Dash has just got to be orgasmic right now!" The line that, for some reason, just killed me was the "banging her head" line. At that moment, I could picture her at a metal show headbanging to the music.
8.) I can't remeber the chapter, but in the chapter that Pinkie was telling trixie of how she went "a little crazy", when she said that I couldn't help thinking "A little crazy? Batshit insane is more like it!" I know seh was probably just exagerating, but still.
9.) The very last sentence in chapter 11, I think it went: "if you really love something, set it free"? it reminded me of the Megadeth song "The Hardest Part Of Letting Go". There's a part in the song that goes like this (I'll try to write it word for word, too):
"But I learned long ago,
that if you love something you have to let it go, let it go, let it go.
The hardest part of letting go is saying goodbye. Goodbye, goodbye. Goodbye."
I got teary-eyed just writing that down!
That part in the story make's this part in the song that much more bawwwwwww-worthy!
It pretty much does say the same thing as the above sentence, I think.
10.) I liked the shout out to PP and FF original G1 character designs in one of Trixie's letters. Pinkie having attributes(?) of a pegasus ("Surprise" was a pegasus) and Dluttershy aving attributes of an earth pony ("Posey" was an earth pony)
Alright, this will be last break i do I really don't want to go over the chacrater limit.
Continued:
ReplyDelete11.) Also AWK-WARD when Pinkie was publicly rubbing/touching Dash's wings. Have some Celestia damned class Pinkie! My goodness!
12.) I found that whole part with the mysterious village (which i now realize from past comments that that whole part is based on an actual game) was kind of out of place when it comes to what the rest of the story was about.
One other thing in my first post I forgot to mention. This Twixie story is definitley in "The Ballad Of Twilight Sparkle" tier. I found it THAT awesome!
Which reminds me, when is "Ballad" going to get an update? (unless it has and I just didn't know?)
i really enjoyed this. It really touched my heart in ways i never thought possible. I have learned many things from this and will apply them to life. I give you 6 stars for elegance, emotion, and many other things. Keep doing what you are doing. write more
ReplyDelete>opens page in new tab
ReplyDelete>waits weeks for story to be finished to read it
>last part uploaded
>new tag: [sad]
WOW
FUCKING SPOILERS
Calm down, Joe, no need to get angry. Better read it before you do an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle. I don't want to drop any more spoilers on ya, but it's worth it.
ReplyDeleteFUCK DAT ENDING, AND FUCK DAT EPILOUGE!!!
ReplyDelete....Who am I fooling, I d'aawwed all over my keyboard. Manly tears were shed, great story. Most of all, one of the best writtings I've ever read as a fan-fic, the author is amazing!!
@Anonymous\
ReplyDeleteNo. It's over now.
I never do Shipping/Sad. F*** that.
Plus, I absolutely loathe spoilers. Even adding something like a new tag when the last chapter is uploaded ruins so much of it for me.
Overall the the story was great! I fell out of "the zone" every once in a while, but nothing to bad. Personally I'm not a fan of sad endings so Trixie making her decision in Chapter 11 was a real let down. I'll also say that when I was reading the Epilogue I couldn't help be feel you slapped it together too fast, even though I like happy endings, I don't like rushed ending of any kind.
ReplyDeleteIs it me or do authors that string you along too much end up with the worst ending?
...
ReplyDelete*claps*
Bravo. Simply bravo.
Touching. Hilarious. Suspenseful.
Masterfully crafted. Especially the end. ESPECIALLY THE END <3
...Sigh.
ReplyDeleteFirst, let me say: SPOILERS AHEAD
I just read all 11.5 chapters in one sitting. Chapters 1-10, were utterly brilliant, and was on the cusp of making me actually enjoy the Twixie ship, and Trixie in general.
Then chapter 11 happened.
As for the sad ending? It completely (in my opinion) undermined all of Trixie's character development through the first 10 chapters. People treated the bittersweet ending as brilliant because, lets face it, nearly all shipping fanfiction ends on a happy, or at least hopeful note. Perhaps fans were just pleased to see a change of pace. However, everything before chapter 11 pointed fairly directly towards a happy ending, and there's no reason that it couldn't have been done. Trixie's reasoning behind her decision was like something out of a bad romance novel.
"I love you so much, but alas! We can never be together for some reason! (In this case, a rather poor one in my opinion) Therefore, I will tell you I don't love you in order to make us happy in the long run!"
Everyone knows that one of people's biggest regrets is letting love slip out of your hands, and to do so in such a pseudo-self-sacrificial way totally undid what you said Trixie's number one trait was: her bravery. Her rationale behind her decision was that of a huge coward, and just completely unraveled the affection that I had developed for her. Needless to say, I was plenty miffed and disappointed.
Then the epilogue happened.
I don't know if I can say more than what has already been said, so I'll keep this short and sweet. It was contrived, forced, and seemingly directed at people like me for being rather upset with the first ending. Really? Twilight faked her sadness *for a whole year*? That's just not in Twilight's character, and made absolutely no sense. And those rules that were apparently just noticed (see: made up) by Twilight that *just so happens* to allow them to be together and keep the title between them? C'mon, guy. If you're going to try to reverse a sad ending into a happy one, at least attempt to make it believable. As I said earlier, you're a great writer. The first 10 chapters captivated me unlike any fic has in a while. However, the last 1.5 chapters do not reflect that writing talent at all. I'll keep an eye out for work by you in the future, but I will do so with trepidation and wariness.
so awesome
ReplyDeletegah why did it have to end
ReplyDeleteAlright, made an account just to say this: The epilogue was ridiculously bad.
ReplyDeleteChapter 11 should have been the real end, because it was spectacular, I was not expecting it all, and it made sense. Where as the epilogue (which wasn't even an epilogue, just a different ending) just seemed far-fetched, and creepy. It wasn't even written all that good.
It seems the epilogue was a quick ending that the author just pulled out of his ass because people wanted a happy ending.
Well well well, I'm kinda slowpoke but can't read chapter 10 because Google's blocked it for some reason. What the hay is in it so it seemed violating the terms of freakin' service?
ReplyDeletehttp://maximillianveers.deviantart.com/gallery/31093108?offset=72#/d3lcx59 I was going to rage about chapter 10 being gone for some crazy reason. ANYWAYS Mexanist, and anyone that still needs Ch10,that link I just put is from the awesome person who takes his time out of his day to update and add all these great stories into a PDF file. You can download it or just read it off his site.
ReplyDeleteLots of great stories there I have added to my phone for reading and sharing with friends on the go =3
Enjoy everyone!
P.S. Ctrl+F is your friend and type in Chapter 10 and hit enter twice ;3
ReplyDeleteUp to chapter six right now. Really enjoying the fic, but I could really have done without the sudden scare with the Blanks. *shudder*
ReplyDeleteSome warning would really have been appreciated.
@Cátsy
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this. Loved the fic, so I was really upset because of the missing part :}
I guess I'm one of the few who actually liked the epilogue, overall?
ReplyDeleteThe big problem with the epilogue, I think, is that it's overly expository and focuses too much on Twilight's plan instead of the other things going on. I know that kind of weakened it for me. I think if that had been kept short and sweet, and the things before and after it had been expanded instead, it would have gone over better, and some of the genuinely clever things in it would have been more appreciated.
Other than that, it was a way more appropriate ending than chapter 11, which almost seems like someone took the ending from some other story and glued it on.
I dont get how its only a few weeks after episode 6 but they talk about something that happened in episode twenty five it doesnt make any sense.
ReplyDeleteWell, there is no official chronological order of the episodes, any chronology you see online is mostly speculation, especially when it comes to episode 6 where nothing is ever said that would indicate what time of year it is, how much time has passed since Twilight arrived, or what they've experienced so far.
ReplyDeleteVery fun read, I enjoyed it. On the con side, I can't say the prose flowed like butter, Trixie was given a lot of slack, and the central conflict... the less I say about that, the better. However, the story more than made up for it through the sheer novelty of the ideas. A lot of really cool scenes were set up throughout for a rather memorable experience. I can see why this is considered one of the top brony fanfics.
ReplyDeleteI really didn't want to comment on this story after finally finishing it, however I can now see why so many people were so upset with it's epilogue...
ReplyDeleteWell the biggest being that it sort of destroys the emotional connection one had for the story, to simply say Twilight was in the know and 'just pretended' to play along for a WHOLE YEAR? and you said it yourself so many chapters ago when Trixie first used it that ANY Unicorn would EASILY be able to SEE the magic on an enchanted object used to spy.
With how often I imagine Trixie looking at that picture I DOUBT she'd not see the spell she was so familiar with using. I didn't like the feel of all those tender moments with Twilight and Celestia, Twilight's speech of moving on after losing a loved one she thought to be dead, and all her friends supporting her for what? NOTHING? Why would she keep torturing herself if she knew Trixie was ok? I know you worked hard to try and cover for all those questions in the epilogue but that just makes Twilight a conniving manipulative bitch who used her friends and the Princess because she didn't want them to know she knew Trixie was ok or that she didn't want them to know she was spying on her?
I will say you could have taken a bit more time to put better thought into this, you could have casted the spy spell on something in the room while her friends and Trixie were distracted with each other. She could of over heard Trixie confess the truth while she was in the cab on the way to Canterlot, letting her emotions get to her in the cab as she listened to Trixie confess her true feelings and the reasons why she shunned Twilight away.
Twilight could of then looked more into the rules later that night or SOMETHING and THEN discover those LOOPHOLES!
SIGH I must say I loved this story so much, and the Blank Flank plot fitted so well into this it was a nice tie in and I thought it was very well done all around! Which is why i'm soo disappointed that you make an ending to please the Twixie fans with a quick happy ending where Twilight is the dominant manipulative one. She can be that idc but the way it was done was just vile and not what Twilight would do putting her friends and her Mentor through such worry over her.
I know it was still time consuming to make that and you must have so many other things you want to do but... could you ever find it in your heart to rewrite this ending? It's too depressing to imagine all those past events were a complete fabrication just so Twilight wouldn't look bad.
Again I do love this story and my comment may be a bit tl;dr but I do believe it deserves a better ending then this wouldn't you agree? I don't mind if such a rewrite took months with how many projects or rl things you might be doing it's just sadly now I know why I was constantly told not to read that last part and why those overly harsh claims were made.
Your a great writer and I hope you at the very least consider this a future possibility to rewrite the epilogue, because your obviously so much more creative then that as I bared witness reading this magnificent story.
*hugs*
Google Docs has taken down Chapter 10 for "violation of TOS".
ReplyDelete@GanonFLCL
ReplyDeleteGanon, do you mind if I write my own alternate Epilogue?
TBH the Epilogue didn't do it for me. I liked the ending to Chapter 11, but I understand how a lot of people wanted a happier ending. I've been thinking about it for a couple days and I thought of a pretty good (well, at least in my eyes...) happy/sad alternate to the Epilogue.
I just wanted to know if you'd be interested,
Cheers,
OTTER
I feel a bit late to the party, but I got around to reading it and I must say that overall, I enjoyed this story very much. It's characterization was well done, or at least in a way that I grew to like her. I truly did like the epilogue because of the little sneakiness and loop holes used by Twilight. I'm also a sucker for a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteAll of that said and done though, I do sort of feel that there were parts of it that just felt off. It was a nice little touch with the picture, but it felt unnecessary to me. I think that having Twilight surprised and not knowing Trixie was alive just makes it feel less over the top with the inclusion of acting and whatnot, especially when just before the tournament we were in her point of view and she seemed as if she was truly waiting for her.
While I don't expect you to change anything, I would have suggested that after the tournament, Twilight instead enchanted something in her room before she left, learning about the letters then. Trixie's sadness about being forced to travel unwillingly is still learned without the "I knew all along! Gotcha!" as well as making things seem a bit less odd that Trixie didn't notice all that time instead of Twilight casting it so recently that she didn't pay any mind. Twilight can also still reveal her plan to keep them both in Ponyville, but instead having found out and thought of it before her return yet useless because Twilight was unsure that she was coming back.
Either way, I appreciated the good read.
This was a really great fan fic that held me over, I really loved the characterization of Trixie which made her bragging bearable XD
ReplyDeleteAnyways this was another great fan fic from this fandom (it's amazing how much good fan fics there are in this fandom and i've only been reading the shipping ones so far!) keep up the great work and looking forward to more great fan fics from you and the rest of this awesome fandom!
I was looking back through old fictions that I read, and primarily those that I was hoping to find new chapters on.
ReplyDeleteInstead I found a page worth of enjoyable reading here in the comments.
Sorry to say that I'm seeing a lot of mixed feedback here.
Chap 10 should have been the ending. Just leave it at that.
Chapter 11 was way too long and filled with useless extra character introductions. It was too much like the structure of the rest of the story looped back again.
And I can't understand at all how people could like the epilogue, but reading their messages here I can get a general idea of the type of people that claim the epilogue worked.
I thought this was an amazing story. After reading many of the comments it seems to me that most if not all of the people who didn't like chapter eleven/epilogue are the people who had considered it finished before that. It seems more like they just don't want to change their views on how they think the story should end and so they won't like anything after what they read originally.
ReplyDeleteThe only problem I had was the continuity, Pinkie Pie NEVER sleeps :D
ReplyDeleteI loved this story. But what makes a story great is that happy endings sometimes don't happen. Sometimes a bittersweet ending is perfect or a completely soul crushing ending. I started this story thinking the Epilogue would end the story but was surprised at the end if Chapter 11. The ending of that chapter was perfect. I feel that the Epilogue was kind of tacked on. I liked it but I didn't love it like chapter 11.
ReplyDelete@Unknown
ReplyDeleteEdit: I liked this story*
Surprised at the ending of Chapter 11
This story was pretty great. It was well written and had some awesome characterization. Took me FOREVER to finally read, but it was worth it. That being said, I would like to point out it dragged on a bit in some places, particularly chapter 11. There were a low average amount of grammatical errors, but as the story is long I can't point any out. Also, *SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED IT* the ending, though I was happy they did end up together, I would have liked more intimacy. And before you say this isn't clop, thats not necessarily what I mean. I mean we didn't even get to *see* them kiss, I would have liked that. Anyway, it was a great story. Thanks for writing it. :)
ReplyDelete@GanonFLCL
ReplyDeleteThis is bar-none the best fanfiction I have ever read, and I have read quite a few fanfictions in my time. It made me laugh, it made me cry, and it made me sit in front of my computer with a shit-eating grin on my face. Maybe it is because I read the whole thing start to finish and so chapter 11 wasn't much of a cliffhanger for me, since I knew there was one more, I was DEEPLY saddened when it WAS truly over, and there wasn't anymore to keep reading. But hey, you know what they say about all good things, right? I was also saddened when I couldn't find any more of the authors work anywhere, as I was really curious as to what else they've done. Of Mares and Magic is now the standard by which I judge ALL shipfics. This EASILY trumps my previous favorite fics, "Kindess Reward" and "The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle". This fic turned Twilight/Trixie into my personal OTP. Its a MASTERPIECE, and I will be sure to recommend it to all my friends. Even my non-brony friends. While the ending was extremely satisfying, I find myself wishing there was more, Despite the stories already marathon-ish length. Thank you, GanonFLCL, for giving us this wonderful gift.
The end of chapter 10 had me physically unable to continue reading for a while, with the anxiety of it. The end of chapter 11 made me literally scream at my monitor. The entirety of the epilogue left me absolutely unable to form a coherent thought. I can't remove the grin now, and I read it an hour ago. Well played.
ReplyDeleteWith this now being one of the longest and amoung the best stories I've ever read, I truly am sad to see it come to an end, though the endding did suggest a very happy endding. Every emotion that was felt by the characters rushed through me and it felt as if I was there with them to share it. Of course with all of the stories I've read I would very much like to know if there will be a follow up story that continues after the Epilogue? With that being said this is one of three Trixie...excuse me, Great and Powerful Trixie stories that I've read that have shown the Great and Powerful one to be amoung my favotire of the ponies (though Derpy has officially taken that title do to the story "My Sweetie" by Author: Big Mackintosh). All in all this was..no IS a great story and I will re-read it sometime soon along with many of the other stories I've already read.
ReplyDeleteSo, I finished reading this wonderful fic a couple of days ago - and while I enjoyed absolutely every last second of it to the point of staying up until 5:30AM the night before an examination to finish the final few chapters, (which was probably extremely foolish of me, in hindsight) I felt that it was marred massively by the uselessly melodramatic and unnecessarily sad ending of its eleventh chapter, and its subsequent afterthought apology epilogue. Honestly, there's a point where that kind of narrative just becomes gratuitous, and Of Mares and Magic skates gleefully past that point in its final pages, ruining what could have been a truly beautiful ending.
ReplyDeleteA real shame, too, as the author flushed whole chapters worth of incredibly intricate character fleshing and development - never before have I felt so connected to characters in a book - down the tube in an instant for the sake of a cheap, shock-factor twist, only to twist backwards in the epilogue and confuse the plot beyond redemption. Of course, I'm not going to lie to you and say that it wasn't extremely fun to read - it was just that the way that the ending felt as though it had been designed to randomly buck me off its rodeo horse and became piss-takingly ridiculous and unfitting at the crucial moment. There's no denying that it was a fantastic fic all in all, and one of the cleverest, deepest and most emotionally wrenching stories that I've ever read - but the blatant Gainax Ending was the piranha in what would have otherwise been a first-class soup. And that made me angry more than anything else.
I'll just leave this here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=FanFic.OfMaresAndMagic
ReplyDeleteI almost avoided reading this one because I'd read Out in the Cold and I'd rather have happy endings versus sad ones. The few comments I'd seen indicated this would be a sad one but I'm glad I decided to do so. I tend to agree with some of the criticism regarding the contrived nature of the epilogue but I'm still grateful that it exists and overall it was a nice bow to wrap around the story making it more pleasant to read.
ReplyDeleteThank you creating this.
This is good!^_^
ReplyDeleteA great fanfic!^_^
Have you thought of posting it to fimfiction.net sometime?
This was one of the most beautiful stories i have ever read! I started this story at 8 a.m and read it non-stop, from beginning to end, and finished it at 12:30 p.m. I don't think i could have found a better way to start a weekend! Twixie forever!
ReplyDeleteYou should put this on FiMFiction.net sometime.^_^
ReplyDelete