[Normal][Shipping][Sad] Yay epilogue~
Author: GanonFLCL
Description: Trixie, ashamed at being upstaged by Twilight Sparkle, seeks to regain respect in the eyes of the only person who matters - herself. But she may soon learn that she cares about the opinion of someone else...Of Mares and Magic Part 1
Of Mares and Magic Part 2
Of Mares and Magic Part 3
Of Mares and Magic Part 4
Of Mares and Magic Part 5
Of Mares and Magic Part 6
Of Mares and Magic Part 7
Of Mares and Magic Part 8
Of Mares and Magic Part 9
Of Mares and Magic Part 10
Of Mares and Magic Part 11
Of Mares and Magic Part Epilogue (New!)
PDF Version
Additional Tags: Long, Magic, Redemption, Friendship, Competition
























774 comments:
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteShe really didn't dig up anything that wasn't publically available. (School records, newspaper clippings...) And in fact, she'd have stumbled onto the same data if she were just researching Trixie's claim of having gained the title from Paragon.
Anyway, can you honestly tell me Trixie could be so obviously hiding something and Twilight NOT try to figure it out?
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
ReplyDeleteyes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
I love you Seth?
ReplyDeleteCHAPTER 10 FUCKING LVOE IT BUT FUUUUUUUUUUCK MORE WAITING!
ReplyDeleteI want to know trixies answer for Twilight!
D4SHTH3R4INB0W
(forgot my google account password =P)
I was scared the writer was finishing at Chapter Ten. It would've been an amazingly sad cliffhanger.
ReplyDeleteHurry with Chapter Eleven, please!
Please please please make a chapter 11 I can't wait this is so excellent and awesome it truly is one of the best fics ever!
ReplyDelete'Dat Cliffhanger.
ReplyDeleteLots to love about this chapter:
I loved how Trixie basically exploited a glaring loophole in the rules Twilight put together and basically dared Rainbow Dash to do something about it, knowing Twilight would probably let it go.
I love the increased focus on Pinkie Pie that came in this chapter.
I love how Celestia was watching the whole event from afar, pulling for both Ponies to win as the events raged on.
I loved the mere idea of "The Great and Powerful Princess Celestia." That should be its own thing.
I loved that Celestia said that she herself will be the arbiter of the final event.
I even love the thing Trixie thought up for the final event, putting it all on the line for a very risky Batman Gambit that really could have blown up in her face (and I like how Celestia commented on this being a sign of Trixie learning dependence and trust for others).
Also, Manly Tears for real (again) during the final letter.
Couple things I didn't like:
Stuff seemed to move a bit fast after Trixie won accuracy. The entire final event was over in about a page-and-a-half when I was expecting it to make up a significant portion of the end of the chapter.
I'm getting heavy vibes that Trixie is going to end up being the Vegeta to Twilight's Goku, pushing herself far harder and working far more diligently to better herself but still coming up short when the chips are on the table. And that's a perfectly fair way to play it, for sure, but I've never really been comfortable with that literary idea.
All told, though, another great chapter.
I can't believe the author left it off there! i'm so mad >:( i love this story, though its pretty light on the shipping i feel its done quite well. very very entertained. please more, very fast
ReplyDeleteChapter 10 was rather different in comparison to the others, but it was a rather interesting read none the less.
ReplyDeleteI was a little bit dissapointed in the Influence part, but it made sense within the context of the story. I can't wait for part 11, as this part foreshadows something great and powerful indeed.
TL;DR: Read it!
....
ReplyDeleteDamn
Oh wow, now that what you call a cliffhanger! So far this story has been really good, getting better and better with each chapter, and this one sure doesn't disappoint! I just hope in the next chapter we find out what happened to Trixie, or at least twilight and the rest of the mane 6 reactions.
ReplyDeleteHmm
ReplyDeleteI love this story, but I don't like how the Twixie was done. Felt one sided.
Also, DerpyShy was unnecessary.
DAMN DAMN CLIFFHANGERS DAMN FORESHADOWING DAMN
ReplyDelete*cough* Excuse me. I just... I'm not awfully patient.
Beautifully written, it's great, one of the best works of fiction I have ever read. This deserves the title of most great and powerful story, by far.
And those cliffhangers... D:<
VERY nice cliffhanger. This has always been a page-turner; now I really am on the edge of my seat, waiting for the next update!
ReplyDeleteHeh, nice little subtle nod to the fact that Pinkie was originally slated to be a pegasus at one point in the show's development toward the end of chapter 10 there.
ReplyDeleteOk, I loved this story...but Trixie HAS to make it back to Ponyville (prob at last minute) and win her title back by a very close margin (suspense of course!) And then after all that is over should come the revelations about what she learned and acquired on her travels (maybe a new packed show wagon was slowing her down?) Thus only then shall we hear if she decides to stay or leave Twilight. I'd offer more but then I'd be writing the story, not the author, and He's GOOD! So I'll be crossing my fingers for at least a few more chapters.
ReplyDeleteHuh... Forgot to add this in my last post.
ReplyDelete>INB4TWI DOESN'T WANT TRIXIE
Just finished chapter 10
ReplyDeleteBrilliant story. While I can't exactly say this is true to the FiM characters personalities. The cast still manages to be well rounded and characters develop over time. While I would love to see a sequel, this story could end right here and I would be content. Brilliant wrap up. Brilliant story. Brilliant writer.
@Randon Chance
ReplyDeleteI don't actually think Trixie is going to win.
Is chapter 10 the last one?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteDid I do that @ right? I have no idea how to do this from my mobile >.>'
Anyway.
Tags: Incomplete.
Pretty sure this isn't the last one.
chapter 10, very touching letters. Sounds like something Sacred Star would do. Being a paladin means traveling and learning alot in his years. Being 1500+ years old makes you wonder how he maintained happiness through it all. Anyway, chapter 10 is great. I loved reading every second of it. The letters from Trixie are very well thought out.
ReplyDeleteand to the anon above Ace, DO NOT WANT? gtfo, avoid this and dont post your unhappiness about it. I dont post how stories suck. I posted on the starcraft crossover saying warhammer was just better in design and is always evolving while starcraft was relatively static. Twas all, i never said anything negative about the story.
keep those comments to a review thread on ponychan why dont you?
wow, amazing story, can't wait for chapter 11 now. Chapter 10 is the best chapter yet
ReplyDeleteWhy is this not 6-star?????????????????
ReplyDeleteI'm crying my eyes out at the end of chapter ten. :(
Trixie slaying a dragon? I think that's gonna put her in hot water.
ReplyDeleteHappy ending to chapter 10 :D
ReplyDelete>Incomplete
Can't wait for the other chapters :D
YOU WHORE! CHAPTER 10 BETTER NOT BE THE LAST CHAPTER!
ReplyDeleteThere better be 1 more chapter, otherwise that was a huge letdown to a wonderful story.
ReplyDeleteAwesome story! Utterly awesome! In the true sense of the word! Or as my favourite comedian once put it:
ReplyDelete"It's awesome!"
"Like a hot dog?"
"Like a thousand hot dogs, sir!"
And with this ends this Zebrony's quote, and frankly this is a story that really floats my boat!
Um, won't slaying a dragon make being around Spike, like, REALLY awkward? Hopeful you'll address this or at least mentioned it in passing, but I have to say, this fanfic has been surprisingly enjoyable overall.
ReplyDeleteI do hope, however, that they don't get together. Like Stephen Cawking said, I see no realism in it whatsoever, and having Trixie saying no or having Twilight having met somepony else on her journey would make for good conflict.
That and it wouldn't end with, yet again, another tiresome Trixie/Twilight pairing.
Still, enjoyable fanfic overall. Can't wait for the last chapter. (I presume.)
If my 'Dinky Doo' trilogy can be 6 stars, can't this one? Curse you, I need to know if Trixie survived or if we need to all wear black!
ReplyDeleteEr, meant shouldn't this one be, as well? I dunno. x.x
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteSilly Anon, asking for realism in a fictitious story about magical ponies. :P
I get your point though, I'm just giving you a hard time. Who really wants to read a "realistic" fanfic anyway?
Chapter 10 cliffhanger NOOOOOOOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteTRIXIE NOOOOOOOOOOO
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
STAY AWAY FROM THOSE GODDAMN DRAGONS
Honestly, while I'm sure there is going to be a chapter highlighting what events unfolded in Chapter 10 I think it would be a great ending right there. But I guess we'll have to wait and see.
ReplyDeleteIt was going so well, but this most recent chapter felt lame. Sorry, but a week or so of dealing with this pretentious bitch of a pony should not raise doubts in the minds of Twilight's well established friends.
ReplyDeleteIf Trixie comes back and somehow takes the title after a year of "power up" adventuring this whole story will feel even more contrived.
Best case: Trixie comes back and gets her ass handed to her so she can finally learn that her ego is not the most important asset she has.
Man, I love this fic so much, Chapter 11 is the only thing that matters to me right now, can't wait for it!
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly, everypony complaining about "This would be better without the shipping" just stop. The tag says shipping. That means there's shipping. You can't say take out the shipping because that's the whole story. S H I P P I N G .
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete"pretentious bitch"
Which one? Trixie or Rainbow Dash?
See what I did there?
I really hope Twilight doesn't spend her entire year in Ponyville, or even Equestria if possible.
ReplyDeleteThat would seem like an incredible waste of time to me.
What bugged me about this chapter? That the 'vote' was done out in the open.
ReplyDeleteAlso, yes this better not be the end. There's no complete tag so...
Chapter 10 was nice but I think that it should have ended here. This fic has to end eventually, and it seems like any subsequent chapters would just cover the same content.
ReplyDelete@Sebiale
ReplyDeleteOoooh, I know; military training.
Twilight should get training from the Royal Guard, at least in part.
OH GOOOOOOOOOOD I NEED ANOTHER STORY, STAT.
ReplyDeleteChapter 10 was just awesome, although I found it a little odd that they decided to just go complete the final challenge right as they decided what it would be. Not that I'm complaining.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I was actually a little misty-eyed by the end.
Reflecting on everything I've read so far, I must say, I feel it's an excellently written fic overall (though I felt the passage of time/flow in chap 10 was a little confusing as someone else has pointed out). But aside from just heaping on praise, I've one thought I can't just shake, and that is that Twilight sometimes feels a little off.
ReplyDeleteI mean, I realize that's pretty much a horrible thing to say, and please don't misunderstand; I don't think you've "missed" on Twilight. For every thing that makes me raise an eyebrow, there are five that are juuust right.
I just generally feel that as many things as she does Different(tm) in the name of being in love, I'm still waiting for Twilight to sort of, I don't know, snap out of it and be herself?
I don't know. I wondered if I should make this comment at all, because it could be part of an unshakable love for Twilight, and that I thus may be bias'd and secretly hating on Trixie. I mean, super secret, because I don't even feel it when I search for it.
In the end, I felt like just tossing in my dimes here, because there are fics involving Trixie being her usual self where I know for sure I don't hold it against her.
It's a personal observation and a gut feeling, it's not carefully researched critique. And it's pretty much the only thing I feel I can say beyond "I love it" and "Chapter 10 has some minor pacing or time passage clarity issues." ; any other critique is merely merely flavor related.
Seems like a "the den" doesn't it...I kind of want to see an epilogue or something (if only for reactions and closure), but I'm not sure it'd be necessary. Nice close as well and a nice touch with the dropping of "the Magnificent."
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDelete^"the end"
dumb fingers.
For the love of celestia!!! If i had a bit for every time somepony leaves me with a cliffhanger..........
ReplyDeleteI have followed this since chapter three. It is by far my favorite story arc so far, and i sit on seats edge. Waiting, watching for chapter 11. I Hope that trixie survives this problem she has gotten into...
If you're hunting dragons take this..
ReplyDelete*hands over a rocket launcher*
Amazing simply amazing
ReplyDeleteJust finished Chapter 10... to admit it, I was surprised at the author's ability to develop (though perhaps not so) non-canonical relationships between the characters. It HAS created a redemption for Trixie in my eyes. Call me an anti-cynic, but I love this story and can't wait for 11. The picture foreshadows more sexuality than actually has been revealed, but I guess the story's not complete. People should be less anal- it leads to more open doors and more exciting adventures.
ReplyDeleteI actually really love the way Trixie's letters let her do a -lot- of growing as a character without having to seem artificially rushed, as it would of had she stayed in Ponyville. I'll be watching for the next chapter with interest!
ReplyDeleteOh for the love of Celestia please let there be a Chapter 11, or an epilogue, or SOMETHING. I can't stand the thought of- well, that'd be a spoiler I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI dare say this story has taken the place of my favourite pairing. Sorry Luna, Trixie's in town!
Will Trixie be able to master Keio-ken before the year is up? What are the sayia- oh I mean what is Twilight doing to prepare for this epic battle? Find out next time on Dragon balls being kicked by Trixie!
ReplyDeletePost chapter 11 now..... NOW!
ReplyDeleteAmazing! All my starts! All my everything!
ReplyDeleteLoved this chapter, although you wrapped things up faster than I expected, but it was done perfectly =D Can't wait for chapter 11 (and the conclusion?)
Loved the letters, awesome touch =D
Oh and P.S Your amazing, keep it up!
Chapter 10 was amazing, I am simply hoping that this will not be the end. There is still the matter of the cursed village in the Everfree forest.
ReplyDeleteIf this story ends without that village's curse seeing an end I will be extremely disappointed.
I certainly hope that Chapter 10 was not the ending, but it sure as hell seemed like it. If it was then it was an amazing ending, but I need more.
Chapter 10 yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
ReplyDelete(just read the chapter 10)OH MY GODDAMN CLIFFHANGER, please say this isn`t over yet, you got me begging here!
ReplyDeleteid say its an 80% chance theres an 11 - because of the cursed village, but theres a possiblity that that part is just dropped because its pretty tangential to everything else and could prove hard to include
ReplyDeleteas for the end part of the last letter... classic cutoff point
- so knew it would be a tie
I HATE CLIFFHANGERS D: D: D: DAMN YOU CHAPTER 10
ReplyDelete>CapsLock
I'm a little upset about Trixie deciding to leave for a whole year. But when she returns, if Twilight is still happy then I'm still happy.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the notion of Trixie being a... dragon slayer does not sit well with me.
/dragonfanatic
Oh man your good at the whole suspense thing. Another extremely well done chapter.
ReplyDeleteI demand another chapter! In 10 seconds flat!
ReplyDeleteChapter 10! SO damn awesome...
ReplyDeleteKeep up good work!
Luka.
I don't post comments, but this was the best fan fiction I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteWill we see a part 11/sequel?
ReplyDeleteNO IT CANT END THIS WAY!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite fan fic!
I was honestly expecting a cop-out ending when I got to chapter 10. I don't know why, but I was.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, I was pleasantly surprised.
What....It can't end like this!!
ReplyDeleteIt better not end this way. This was so sweet.
ReplyDeleteOk, firstly, for every one who is worried that this is the end... it is not. When a long running series is over there is ALWAYS a Completed! tag with the final chapter upload. So there will at least be one more chapter. It will probably be the last one, but I am entertaining the notion that we will get maybe one more chapter that tells us what has happened in Ponyville during this year before the final chapter that wraps things up. However, that does seem unlikely. Could do that within one chapter as well.
ReplyDeleteNow, as for my opinion about chapter 10... I am rather disappointed. I loved most things about it, but there is one little thing that really lets it down for me. Dragonslaying? Really? We have seen form the show that dragons are intelligent creatures. So basically dragonslayers are murderers. It just does not fit in the FiM or MLP universe. At all. I can see them challenging a dragon in a non lethal duel. Much like what Trixie and Twilight have done so far. But murdering another intelligent habitant of Equestria? Its just wrong on so many levels.
Ah well. I'll still be here for what I will assume be the final chapter. I have greatly enjoyed the story so far after all. And I do hope Trixie and Twilight get together. Yes, it would be cliche and there are tons of Twixie fics already. But I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff :P I can never have enough. If something else happens though, I'd probably be fine with that too.
MUST....HAVE...CHAPTER 11!!!!! T-T
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for chapter 11, will it be the final chapter?
ReplyDeletei Assume there will be a chapter 11? :)
ReplyDeleteNot the end I hope?!
ReplyDeleteYou can't leave us in suspense, not that this wasn't a cool twist for an ending.
I'm at least hoping for a triumphent return with souvineers no less.
I want moar!!!
ReplyDeleteSo...awesome.I really was crying at the end of Trixies last letter although I'm normally not very emotional.This is the best fanfic ever.
ReplyDeleteI can't express how much I hope for chapter 11 and the incomplete tag is still there,so there will likely be one.
Read through all ten chapters in one sitting last night. I just couldn't stop, great work! Now I'm *really* curious how it will turn out...
ReplyDeletePlease tell me there is a freaking chapter 11??????
ReplyDeleteIf you come out "Trixie has Lay Poison" I'm gonna kill you
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping for Twilight to pull out the win and Trixie to become her eternal rival.
On the other hand, I could easily see Trixie crawling out of Dragon country half a year later, the only survivor of her party, too late to make the duel but promising a rematch when the statute of limitations expires. (I assume there's a "no tagbacks" clause for a year or so after a duel's conclusion.) That bit about being lost without a guide sounds a lot like Chekhov loading his gun.
@Sebiale
I agree it would seem a little hollow for Trixie to go on her "world tour" and come back still lacking the tools to defeat Twilight, but take a look at the first season -- Ponyville isn't exactly the dullest corner of Equestria. A deep understanding of people is what Twilight lacks, and she wouldn't get that on a solo training journey. On the other hand, Trixie's ego is her biggest flaw, and seeing how other peoples are better than she is seems like a good lesson in humility.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteGah, don't even SAY that!
Aw, man, now I made myself sad. Mental image of everypony sitting around all depressed under Pinkie's "Congratulations Great and Powerful Twilight" banner, cake untouched, because Trixie failed to show up at all...
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Trixie is powerful enough for Celestia to notice her death.
(And then a cloaked figure appears in the doorway...)
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no.
Chapter 11 should just be a picture of Trixie, tricked out with all the trophies of her journey -- dragoon helmet, gold armor from Deephorn augmented with Asgaldean magitech, the works...
And alicorn Twilight saying, "Um. This is sort of awkward."
Ooh! Ooh! Or maybe, for the rematch event, Celestia sits down and says, "Now... tell me what you've learned this year.
ReplyDeleteYou BASTARD!
ReplyDeleteWhy did you make that cliffhanger in chpater 10? WHY?
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteAs well, brainstorming mental images. A scene : where what appears to be a diamond dog (former party member of The Magnificent Trixie) arrives the place where the re-match was going to take place. Just to leave a folded cape with a magicians hat on its top...
"...My condolences..."
The only words that came out from the hound. With watering eyes, he puts the clothes slowly in the ground and makes his leave
READ EVERYTHING FROM PARTS 1-10
ReplyDeleteIN ONE DAY
AND
OMG
ONLY WAY I CAN DESCRIBE THIS:
20% COOLER•STAR WARS^2-(SCI FI+SPACE)+MAGIC+PONIES!
sorry for the algebraic expression
and caps
but they really were necessary
In other words:
20% cooler times star wars squared, (minus the scifi and space) plus magic plus ponies factorial
Just read the whole thing through part 10
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
overall I think it's pretty good, even if it did take me ALL DAY to read. I came to read this just looking for some romantic dawwww stuff.... boy was I mistaken! The story is more of a "finding yourself" kind of story. there were things about it that seemed a bit... off. The biggest one being Trizie's behavior throughout the story. It sort of... unnaturally flip-flops and that made it hard for me to empathize with Trixie and get in her head.
But this story isn't without it's good parts, and I am really hoping there are more parts on the way. But I think if I had the choice I wouldn't have taken my entire free day to read it.
GIANT CLIFFHANGER!
ReplyDeleteAwaiting the next part :D
*shakes a fist* Damn you! Damn you for making me wait!
ReplyDeleteJust finished marathoning the entire story to date, and it has left me hungering for a conclusion. I eagerly await your final chapter, and pray the words find you speedily.
I just read through 1-10 for my first time marathon style, downright great stuff to be read indeed :P
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for a conclusion and yet have a feeling that this is the most satisfying cliff hanger I can recall, it *could* end here (don't you dare xD) and I wouldn't complain too much as the image it brings is of hope yet... possible sorrow.
11. Noaw. I SAID NOAW!!!
Complete?
ReplyDelete*Reads*
Read this last night over on Snafu cant wait to see what others have to say about it
ReplyDeleteSo... now that this is complete, I need more epic length twixie! Someone get on it!
ReplyDeleteOr tell ballad to update.
Is this as good as ballad? If it is then ill read it.
ReplyDeleteAfter all of that build up nothing really changes, except that I now hate Trixie on a much, much deeper level.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThis one is better actually.
I.i.. cant bring myself too like this..
ReplyDeleteIt's far too sad, how dare you even write this..
The Twixie shipper inside me is banging their head against a wall.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHow come?
So good. But... so sad. For both of them... It has to be hard for Twilight, but I can not even begin to fathom how Trixie must feel.
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautiful story, all-in-all. Doesn't beat the Trixie x Fluttershy fic for me, but definitely a close second.
Well done. I hope for more from this author.
The ending was really depressing. I think this is perhaps the saddest thing I have ever read. I didn't even want to read the last part when I noticed a [Sad] tag had been added.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if reading it was a good idea or not. It was well written, and probably one of my favourite fanfics, but that ending just made me sad.
Another great story goes by... and another tear is shed. </3
ReplyDeleteBrilliantly written, brilliantly realized. Sad to see it finally come to the conclusion; anticipating the next chapter is half the fun of reading something this magnificent.
ReplyDeleteBut that ending... As Lily said... I can't bring my self to like this.
My word, what a note to go to sleep on. I want more, there must be more. I can't stand these sad endings.
ReplyDeleteBut, I still love it. Thank you for this story.
@ShadowCell
ReplyDeleteWhat's not to hate? She leaves to go "train up" so she can live up to her ego. In the meantime she realizes how much she's probably hurting Twilight by doing this, but hey, you know, that's just part of being Great and Powerful, right? People get crushed on the way to the top. Then when she gets back witnesses that yep, indeed, I caused Twilight a good deal of pain. She's even is cognizant of all the way she might have avoided inflicting emotional distress on Twilight. You know, like, sending a letter or something. Communicating, like responsible people do. But nope, this Trixie is so self-absorbed that she decides to stay the course and build up the trauma even more.
And you know, that'd be okay, since it's pretty much in character for a douchebag. But then we get to the very end we have this line (paraphrased):
BUT WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS RIGHT?
And I was just blown away. You, Trixie, are the ultimate bitch. And of course, Twilight is too distraught to see otherwise. So she goes along with it.
In the end, Twilight walks home crushed, Trixie thinks she's the shit (and has a cool title to show for it), and I am completely filled with hatred for Trixie.
I mean. Good show here. Don't let me dissuade you from reading the story. It got 5 stars from me, but that don't mean I have to like Trixie.
Mm. Ending left me a bit cold. Trixie's convinced she's doing the honorable thing here, but she's once again shown how she's missed out on an important lesson of friendship.
ReplyDeleteCommunication. She was, by her own hoof, willing to give up her title to be with Twilight. All it would have taken was a single conversation. A 'Hey, I'm going to let the title pass to someone else, and here's why'.
Twilight's sheltered, but I'm certain Celestia's filled her in on the ramifications of taking up the title by now...
Chapter 11 felt very poorly written compared to the previous 10, really disappointed. :/
ReplyDeleteThat ending. That ending. Not only is it a tale of star crossed lovers, but it is one caused purely because they cared for each other so much. God dammit.
ReplyDeleteCrying for real now.
This was the best fanfic I have ever read.
ReplyDeleteThe suspense, plot twists, everything.
4.34 x 10²² Stars
Okay, finished it... CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteArgh, that ending made me tear up, and was so... FRUSTRATING! I won't spoiler, but GAH! I think the neighsayers in these comments ruined the ending, IMO, with all the meme references and the ending ITSELF. Argh, loved it but frustrated at the same time...
This ending makes me enraged, sad and happy at the same time. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI did like this story but I have to admit... I feel dead inside now. That's probably just me though, I don't usually read sad fics and when I saw the sad tag added I almost didn't read it. I had already read the first 10 chapters though and I had to finish it.
ReplyDeleteUnforgivable, that's what that ending was, now I'm sorry I read this story.
ReplyDelete@AnonymousIt's not just you, that's how I feel too.
ReplyDeleteI.. I...
ReplyDeleteBe darned... I am actually positively having a knot in my stomach.
It's beautiful, this story. It deserves to be mentioned as one of the best stories out there. Even though I normally hate tragedies, this one is too beautiful, too deep, too magical (no pun intended), too memorable to hate.
Don't listen to those who hate you for that ending. It's sad, but with how you've made the story, it really does seem like the only option, and I must confess I never truly thought it would be a happy ending.
The world must go on. You ave taken what is probably the single mostly used morale of all time;
And turned it into something more beautiful than almost anything I've ever read. The only thing that tears me up more is The Amber Spyglass and Forrest Gump.
Though it hurts, this ending, it hurt terribly, it is a fantastic story, worthy of eternal life, worthy of eternal remembrance, worthy of always living on in the memories of people, so they can see how beatifully a non-succesful ship can be made.
Truly fantastic. In the end, only one sentence matter: Nearer god came no other story.
Kudos. You have captured a cynics heart.
Nearer god can no man come.
This was (past tense) quite the brilliantly-written story. Unfortunately, the ending felt completely forced and left me with an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth. It's like buying an expensive firework with a comically-long fuse, only to find out that the damned thing was a dud all along.
ReplyDeleteI want to say that I enjoyed this story, but I just can't.
Aside from the overused, cliched final sentence, it was a fitting ending. Though as Whiteout said, the issue could have been solved is Trixie had just talked to Twilight about abandoning the title.
ReplyDeleteI... am kind of ambivalent about this story. I read it till the end and it was definitely a good read, but it had wrinkles and nibbles and hiccups all over, right until the end. Elevating Derpy to quasi mane cast - didn't really work, for starters. Then the inspiration challenge which is just some weird friendship contest? The contest with the 70 greatest most powerful unicorns in the end somehow lets just about anypony with a horn join, just so the author could put in some more background ponies? Then, when it takes a reader about two seconds to realize that the cloaked contestant named ENIGMA is Trixie, Twilight just spends the entire contest "DUUUUURR" and what the hell? If the author had cared to spend some effort into maybe delaying the obvious for a bit longer, might have Trixie just dye her coat and act untrixie-like. Really, cloakpony named Enigma?
ReplyDeleteI'm not even really butthurt over the ending (even though I prefer them happy), since I didn't really buy the babble over friendship and feelings and "if you can't explain it, it's love, because you can't explain love" or somesuch either? What is up with all this crap?
The only thing that could redeem this course of events is an extra chapter in which Twilight comes to her senses and stops being such a gullible foal, finds out about Trixie's true feelings somehow and hunts her down all over Equestria to kick her idiot "Let's lie about my true feelings and be a complete tool, because that's what my father did to me and look how wonderfully my life has turned out" flank. Seriously. Am I supposed to buy that after all this, she is just as dumb as she started out? People never change? All that talk of having discovered the joy of having friends, what with Honesty being one of the tenets of friendship, just a load of bullcrap? All the eleven chapters leading up to - nothing of substance? I do feel "Sad" thinking about this, but it's not the good kind of sad; I feel sad for the story's potential, rather than for its events and the characters living through them. I feel sad the entire story turned out to be just as pointless as most of the fanservice in it. I can't bring myself to feel for either Trixie or Twilight in this ending, Twilight being just about the biggest pushover this side of the Pleiades and Trixie spending all this time traveling just to learn how to lie all over again. I had trouble really feeling for them the entire story that came before, honestly, though it's now looking back at this ending that I can see the problems I had more clearly.
This story isn't bad - I don't usually finish bad stories, and certainly never comment on them - but it doesn't work for me. Take from that what you will.
It's an ending that just works, not a happy ending, but one that just...works.
ReplyDeleteI like how you took a different route for the ending, but that being said the route you took was not really justified by the story, it just seems so wrong. Anyways it was a fun read, 4/5.
ReplyDeleteThat certain well-known Dragonball reference almost killed me. Haven't laughed this hard in a while.
ReplyDelete... I'm not sure that there is much to say after that ending, really... One can't really express anything to those who haven't read it, and to those who HAVE read it, already know what I feel... I'd LIKE to say I hate you, but I can't... You're at least a very decent writer, because only good writers can MAKE the readers have certain emotions and reactions, and that is what you have done... So while I dislike the ending, I have to give it 5/5 in my opinion, for the depth of the story...
ReplyDelete(I hope/know you're proud that you've made a lot of people cry/cry themselves to sleep tonight...)
And with that, I am reminded of Sydney Carton, and his sacrifice, which, in some, strange way, at least to me, seems to be the exact same thing that Trixie has done, which is why the ending is still beautiful, if not also very, very sad...
"It is a far far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known."
While she may not have the second part of that quote, in spirit, she does, for she saved Twilight from that horrible future by taking it upon herself...
Okay, I'm done now. I can finally stop holding back the tears in my eyes, and bawl, now that I don't have to see my laptop screen... *Cries forever*
Crap. Last chapter added and now there's a sad tag that I don't remember being there before.
ReplyDelete*reads chapter*
Damn it. Still a good story that I don't regret reading, but still, "Damn it."
(A side note, I did like the brief crossover with The Vinyl Scratch Tapes and desperately wish it was canon now.)
Holy crap, that is so incredibly sad. D:
ReplyDelete@Nightsong
ReplyDeleteI know that feel... The ending left out the whole quote. "If you love something, let it go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."
Horse Apples, this story angered me so much. THe leadup, the contest, I loved it all. But that last part seemed too forced. THere NEEDS to be another part addressing the REST of the quote. Did Twilight come back? Did Trixie run after her? Argh! And the 'self-sacrifice' is a JOKE! Grrr, more I think on it, it feels like a HUGE leadup to be smacked in the face by a trout.
God damn it.
ReplyDeleteThis story was brilliant, until the ending. Seriously? Fuck everything about that ending. Trixie cares SO MUCH about Twilight that she decides to NOT BE WITH HER.
Spock says: SHIT'S ILLOGICAL.
Story == ruined.
@Silfir
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's what gets me the worst. The ending throws away all the character development that the story managed up until then. And that character development was what I -liked- about this story.
an over 9000 joke....im would slap you, but you did too good a job wrapping this story up.
ReplyDeleteUhg. That ending was beyond contrived, and it severely degrades the quality of your work.
ReplyDeleteIf you wanted a truly effective sad ending, GanonFLCL, you should have just stopped at the Chapter 10 cliffhanger.
I might have to amend my previous comment. The more I think about it (and the more comments I read), the less I start liking this ending. I think the story as a whole is still worthy of 5 stars, so I won't change my vote, but looking back, there are several nagging issues that conflict with this ending. Most of these have already been touched on by other people though. Again, with this choice of ending, the story is well-written, but not completely well-structured.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDelete"She leaves to go "train up" so she can live up to her ego."
Yep. The only explanation for Trixie deciding to leave is to satiate her ego. The same ego that had basically been shattered so many times since the story started that she stopped bothering to put it back up.
In a story with a main theme about determining your purpose in life, the obvious reason to go on a quest of self-actualization when you've been thoroughly bested at what you thought you were good at is to build up a feeling of self-importance that you know is false.
"In the meantime she realizes how much she's probably hurting Twilight by doing this, but hey, you know, that's just part of being Great and Powerful, right?"
You want them to feel better, because you don’t like to see them like that. For someone you love...you can feel their pain. You hurt when they hurt.
Above: What are apparently the feelings of someone too self-centered to care.
"You know, like, sending a letter or something. Communicating, like responsible people do. But nope, this Trixie is so self-absorbed that she decides to stay the course and build up the trauma even more."
seem to be able to confirm that my longing for you specifically is because, I know that as much as I miss you, you miss me just as much, and that makes me sad. I do not want you to be sad, Twilight...and that is something that makes friendship different than love.
Above: What is apparently self-absorbed behavior.
"In the end, Twilight walks home crushed, Trixie thinks she's the shit (and has a cool title to show for it)"
Bullshit.
When she heard about the tournament, her heart had leaped for joy - Twilight would not have the title, and neither would she! They could be together, as she’d wanted. But then she caught word of Twilight entering the tournament - rumor mills were a helpful thing, sometimes. No...no that wouldn’t do at all.
And so, Trixie would take up that burden, alone, because she was already used to that life. Alone again, on the road...with nothing but fond memories to live by...
Yeah. That totally sounds like someone who is so fucking full of herself that she doesn't care about anyone else around her. Far be it from me to question the motives of an Anon, but did you even read the last two pages?
@Silfir
These criticisms, however, I agree with (mostly). I personally think the Derpy character elevation worked well.
However, I do agree that the Enigma thing was obvious from the start, and the reveal was incredibly facepalm worthy. I also think that the justification for the ending, while it sorta works, also contrasts with the morals Trixie had learned in Chapter 10 and Chapter 9.
Poor Communication Kills, yes, and it certainly caused a terribly tragic ending; but using Poor Communication Kills doesn't work that well when part of Trixie's growth as a character was based on learning how to avoid that. Especially during Chapter 9, when Trixie and Twilight came to blows when Twilight revealed she had been holding back and Trixie basically flipped her shit at the insult of being "protected" by Twilight.
@MetalGearSamus
ReplyDeleteActually, you bring up a great point. I think this story would have been much more powerful had it ended with chapter 10. After reading chapter 10, I desperately wanted chapter 11. However, I was willing to accept that as the ending. This new chapter, not so much. In hindsight, ending with chapter 10 would have been perfect IMO.
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDelete"Poor Communication Kills, yes, and it certainly caused a terribly tragic ending; but using Poor Communication Kills doesn't work that well when part of Trixie's growth as a character was based on learning how to avoid that. Especially during Chapter 9, when Trixie and Twilight came to blows when Twilight revealed she had been holding back and Trixie basically flipped her shit at the insult of being "protected" by Twilight."
This. All of this.
what?!?
ReplyDeleteNO
no wait no no AH
HEY!
when did that sad tag get there?!??!
that wasn't there before was it?
AAAAAAAAAAH
;_;
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
ReplyDeleteSPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
I'd just like to say that just because I don't like the ending doesn't make it bad. If you happen across this post, Ganon, be aware that the entireity of the story is brilliant, fantastic, amazingly written.
But again, that's not a 1:1 relationship with my feelings for the story.
Something that REALLY bugged me... the LAST LINE of the story is
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
"If you truly love something, you must learn to set it free."
Really. And Trixie chose a title (which, when you boil it down, is nothing more than a handful of words) and a legacy over a mare who loved her more than anything and would have stood by her side through thick and thin, no matter the cost or consequences.
Seems very self-centered and self-serving, if you ask me.
Again, this is just my opinion.
I'm actually disappointed. All this build up, all this agonizing uncertainty, and it ends on such a sad note? No. That's just not fair. Somepony fix this!
ReplyDelete(Runs off to find somepony to write a happier ending)
This.. is the best fic I've ever read. No competition. Loved all the older parts, but the last took the prize for one of the greatest things I've read, fanfic or actual literature! GanonFLCL, I'm hoping you will continue writing, for now you've got atleast one true fan. I'm actually having troubles finding words for this.
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't read this already, for Celestia's sake do it!
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteTenchi, everything you posted there is exactly why that ending didn't work for me. Trixie knows better.
The way she ends it, even if she couches it to herself in terms of self-sacrifice, is incredibly arrogant and self-absorbed.
'Twilight isn't strong enough to do this, I have to do it to protect her, although I'm sure she'll get over me crushing her heart!'
Trixie comes off as just trying to justify to herself having decided that her title is more important than her friends or the pony even she admits she loves being happy.
@KiraFan05
ReplyDeleteI'm tempted to, if GanonFLCL said it was okay. I feel the story screams for it. It just... The ending feels WRONG.
Although I prefer happy endings, and was angry at teh author for making it sad, it is a good ending imo. It deserves the 5stars I gave it so many chapters ago.
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ReplyDeletenever never never never never never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever reading a story marked [sad] ever ever again!!!!!!!!!
TWIXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That ending....man my heart strings. This is such a beautiful story, I just wish it had a happier ending.
ReplyDeleteWell, I really loved this story, but damn if that last part was really sad, I mean, I understand that everything cant possibly end well, but after all that build up, all that development, all those things that Twilight and Trixie went through, to end it such a bitter way? I mean, its like the original Tarzan story, were in the end neither Tarzan himself or Jane(?) end up like they truly wanted, and have to settle for a life full of sadness and loneliness, I mean, given the source material, and all the things that happened during the story, that was not the right ending (crap, it could have worked if Trixie truly never loved Twilight, that way It shouldn't have come up as tragic as it was).
ReplyDeleteStill, you managed to capture my imagination with this amazing tale, so kudos for this wonderful job!
... Manly tears were shed for the first time in fourteen years.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I really wished for a happy ending. But... That seems like Trixie.
@Roy G. Biv
ReplyDeleteIndeed. I like a sad ending that's well done. This one just isn't.
Heck, if you wanted to go sad without dropping all the character development, you could just leave it at Trixie leaving Equestria to learn more and not coming back.
Bittersweet, but not as jarring as this.
Well, that was a shit last chapter due to it being completely predictable.
ReplyDeleteLiterally, no surprises.
"Oh, so Trixie doesn't show up in time. Alright, so she'll obviously enter the tournament, right?"
MYSTERY MARE THAT'S NEARLY AS GOOD AS TWILIGHT.
Also, lampshading the predictability of this reveal doesn't make up for that fact that it was terribly predictable and boring as fuck to wait and happen. Really, it's like it turned into fuckin' "Dragonball Z" or some shi-
REALLY FUCKING PREDICTABLE AND UNFUNNY "DRAGONBALL Z" JOKE.
Oh, fuck you, just, fuck you.
Another thing that annoys me to absolutely no end is that Twilight is really fucking obsessed with Trixie to the point of the other characters pointing it out to her. Like, really? Again, just because you address it, doesn't get rid of the problem, it just makes it more apparent and asinine.
Oh, then there's Trixie being JUST behind Twilight in terms of pretty much every category, despite Twilight blatantly pointing saying that she did pretty much shit the entire year, while Trixie was exploring the land and fighting God damn dragons.
Oh, but she's one point behind Twilight in practically everything besides making fireworks, lolololol.
This made Twilight boring and very punchable,not to mention her personal relation with Trixie.
This fanfic had so much potential, so much build up, and for an ending like that?
Again, fuck you, just, fuck you. It's like someone else wrote the ending while the author was away from their computer.
@Whiteout
ReplyDeleteThere's a difference between doing what you think is right in the wrong way (which I readily admit clashes with the previous chapters of the story regardless, so I'm not particularly a fan of how it was handled anyways) and basically just not giving a fuck.
That was great! Until the ending.
ReplyDelete"Character development? Precedents? Fuck that shit, I don't need any 'precedents' when I got a surprise ending!"
I want a sequel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
ReplyDeleteThat ending. It's not as bad as some people are making it out to be (I'm seeing a lot of the same level of outrage that came with Fallout 3's ending, to be honest), but it could have been better.
ReplyDeleteAfter my initial understanding, though, I felt like some of the people on here; like I wish I could be there to walk in 'n slap Trixie across the face and explain an alternative answer. Having already become close to a regular resident of Ponyville early on, it wouldn't have taken that much to just lie about her whereabouts to the larger public 'n had everypony in Ponyville keeping hush-hush about it. And she had already made it clear that many of the mane cast would love some of the places she traveled to; she could just sneak out of Ponyville with one or more of her new friends and traveled to one of the places with them (for example, taking Rarity to the Deerfolk) if any nosy press happened by Ponyville looking for her.
At any rate, people who're acting like it destroyed characterization and the like are over-reacting, in my opinion. If Trixie was as selfish and inconsiderate as she had been at the start, she wouldn't have worried about whether or not Twilight's life would be ruined or the like.
I liked the story, despite the relatively disappointing (when given some thought) ending. I gave it a five out of five as it deserves for the quality of writing and storytelling. I would very much like to see an alternate ending, or perhaps a short sequel story.
And we're done!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say. I feel the ending took something away from the story. Chapter 11 was very very well written, free from the minor hiccups of some of the previous chapters, but when you have such an obvious open secret like that (Enigma), I had half expected a further twist.
And, I mean, on a far simpler level, Twilight is an exceedingly clever pony, and I'm not sure I can get 100% behind the fact that she remained unchanged for 11 full chapters, in a sense.
Or I may just be a sucker for a happy ending. Either way, I feel strangely unfulfilled. Should probably stop reading fics with the [Sad] tag though, it's my fault. The story is worthy of 5 stars, that's not really in doubt.
Goddamit Trixie, this is why nobody like you!
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrible ending man but she is in character every second.
I can explain the ending in my head,so dont mind the way it ended:
ReplyDelete1. Once you apply no out
2.even if you fall out first you will get pestered by others, their not powerful enough to challenge TGAP XXXXX but some of the lower contestants
3.The title is like a family heirloom to Trixie and she would only let Twilight have it,*SPOILER* *SPOILER* *SPOILER* *SPOILER*
and in the story explained why she doesnt want Twilight to have it.
3. 6_9 DERPY! :D
I would prefer a happy ending in MLP:FIM spirit, like trixie getting the title and the girl but oh well
@Marrock This.
ReplyDelete@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing, though. Clearly Trixie does not give enough of a fuck to consider any solution other than the one that gives her back her status quo.
For a pony who we've been shown is -very- creative and resourceful, and who has just spent ten chapters learning about friendship, it really does look like just not caring.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteAgree this was top tier fic in this fic, at least top five and this ending is just terrible worst chapter ever.
Ending doesn't make sense to me.
ReplyDeleteThe title isn't permanent. If Trixie actually wanted to be with Twilight, she could have won the title, and then immediately lose it to the first challenger. She wasn't even going to enter the tournament until she found out Twilight was, so why would she care who has it?
I appreciate the desire to try and write a sad ending to the story (as much as I didn't like it), but it just doesn't make sense to me.
It didn't help that I had a particularly sad and moving song playing at the end once I slowly read through the letters. I totally saw it coming, but it still tugged.
ReplyDeleteAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG GODDAMNIT! Y U END IT LIKE THIS???????????????????????? D:
ReplyDeleteSo much shit, all of the shit, all of it. *Cries, going through the stages of mourning.*
Great fanfiction, but so, so sad. I just could not bring myself to read the letters that Trixie almost sent to Twilight.
ALL OF MY FUCKING ANGER. ALL OF IT.
Luna-damnit, Trixie, you don't get to decide WHAT will make your love the happiest! You don't get to decide FOR her that things 'just won't work out'. If you don't want to change your own lifestyle for the relationship, that's FINE . . . but you don't get to make that choice for someone else! Let them decide what they are or are not willing to sacrifice.
ReplyDeleteAnd love is NOT impossible to define. I'll tell you what it is; it's giving someone's needs/wants/life priority. The more you love them, the higher priority you give them. Your soulmate has higher priority over your friends and family, not because of some mystic mumbo-jumbo, but because somewhere inside you CHOOSE to make them a priority. 'Course you gotta remember that you don't always KNOW what their needs are and you gotta let them figure that out themselves.
To steal an old summary . . .
Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never ends.
Trixie, you're not 'letting her go' because you love her. You just don't trust her to decide for herself. You're trying to steer her life yourself, not supporting whereever SHE wants to take it.
*so. much. headdesk*
. . . oh well. At least the author managed to inspire some pretty strong emotions in this reader, right? o.O
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteSo much this - this last chapter, though technically proficiant, left me feeling like the story had no point - Trixie devolves back into the self absorbed twit that she was at the start of the story, and Twilight has had had her heart broken without reason.
That was... So very, very good. My favorite fanfic so far, for sure!
ReplyDeleteOh, and folks, don't worry - love always finds the way in shipping.
Man... You just HAD to make this sad didn't you... I don't read sad fanfiction, but I read the last 10 chapters and just had to read this one!
ReplyDeleteSomehow... I love it this way. I mean, Trixie is being Trixie. Twilight being a bookworm. Nothing change.
ReplyDeleteCool history bro.
@Whiteout
ReplyDeleteAgain, I don't think it fit well with the previous chapters either. Look at my post near the top of this page, where I basically fangasm about how beautiful I found Trixie's progression as a character to be. Short of Macintosh, Dangerous Business and The Party Never Ended, I can't think of a story that has had similarly powerful levels of character growth for the participants involved.
If anything, I'm probably not as pissed by the ending throwing all that out as I should be, and I'm certain more reflection on my part will cause more anger for the way this chapter wrapped up.
I'm merely talking in terms of if this were a standalone story rather than a contradicting final chapter of a long story. From that point of view, I don't see how Trixie's actions are self-serving so much as self-sacrificing.
You spend ten chapters turning trixie form her bitch form to a decent mare and now, NOPE!
ReplyDeleteTalk about an anticlimax to end all anticlimaxes! I figured out exactly what was going as soon as the competition started and allowed my head to get the better of me in imagining how great the ending will be...took me an hour and a half to finish the chapter because of that...and then it turned out to be the exact opposite to what I was hoping for, and what I can bet the majority of other readers were hoping for too. Can't say I'm completely disappointed, I love a good twist, but it does feel like someone's just slapped me in the face and gone 'No! No happy ending for you!' haha. This doesn't bode well for my sanity, however, because now I'm getting the overpowering urge to write a twixie fic to hopefully rival this one (but with an ending I think Twixie deserves) and the last shipping story I did took two years of my life! Not because I obsessed, but because it was 60 chapters long...hopefully the urge will pass by morning…
ReplyDeleteBut I digress, great story, loved it from the beginning...and admittedly straight through to the end. A marvellous, well-written piece of literature that has rekindled my passion for writing and that I hope inspires a lot more stories to come from bronies who fancy having a go at it.
And I've tried not to use the word, but I feel it must be said. EPIC story. (Despite the use of internet memes in the last chapter, cringe worthy, but only for a second or two.)
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteAs a standalone, I could totally see it being a beautiful bit of tragedy. Fully agreed. It's the contradiction with the character progression of the rest of the fic that makes it jarring to me.
I think our taste in fic must be similar, you quote several of those that I consider to be top notch. :D
That ending... not sure if want...
ReplyDeleteAs my literature teacher would say; "don't just end the writing, write an end"
ReplyDeleteAnd damn, was that ever an end. Yes, you could smell the Enigma is Trixie all the way, but that end, again, holy crap. Trixie making that ultimate self sacrifice (emotionally at least) for Twilights best, and making so much sense with the end of the last letter in chapter 9.
Trixie really did want to give everything up for Twilight, and ended up giving up on Twilight for her happiness.
Ofc I read this as something on the Internet, and I'm sure all misprints, misspellings and grammatical errors will be pointed out/corrected after a while, the initial editing is good though, so nothing really stops the immersion into the tale (apart for maybe slightly off key characters at certain points, but everyone will view characters differently anyways)
-Wolf
This chapter would work with a another chapter
ReplyDeletelike maybe Celestia comes to Trixie's suite to congratulate her personally, and finds Trixie crying.
Trixie explains to Celestia why she entered, even though she didn't seem to want the title any more.
Celestia decides bind the title to Paragon as a tribute
forever sealing him as "The Great and Powerful"
so Trixie can be with Twilight without having to worry about her "family title".
...
ReplyDelete...
...
...
just...
i love happy endings...
and this is so sad...
I suppose this might work as a deconstruction of the Twixie ship. Trixie is too self-absorbed to really have a relationship with someone else, Twilight's too naive and inexperienced to know that the relationship just ain't gon' work. But if that were the case, it probably shouldn't have come at the end of ten chapters of personal growth and character development where Trixie learns to trust others and see beyond her own nose.
ReplyDeleteI'm confused about the tournament though.
ReplyDeleteTwilight was better than everyone in everything except the very last contest... So why is she not the greatest and most powerful?
It just... Doesn't make sense to me. She broke their meter for strength. Tied for accuracy, which wouldn't be hard since you can only go up to 100%. Beat everyone in everything except the show, where she got second for doing something utterly awesome instead of a firework show, and the very end where she had strong reasons to keep the title. Trixie worked harder for it, though.
But still, the tournament showed Twilight is the greater and more powerful unicorn. It showed that Trixie had more flair, but not by much.
... that ending. T_T
ReplyDeleteThank you for a wonderful story.
HAHAHAHAHAHA LOVED THE OVER 9000! JOKE!
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, throughout following this story I was afraid it was going to fly off the rails at any moment, but I was very satisfied with this conclusion. It was tough, but Trixie made the right call. Congrats on having the courage to go that route.
ReplyDeleteOne more chapter please. I don't find chapter 11 justifiable at all. Trixie has feelings for Twilight but places the title OVER those. That is not the Trixie you developed through the previous chapters. Fix it.
ReplyDeleteLove the Dragon Ball 9000 meme XD
ReplyDelete*Banishes GanonFLCL to the moon for that ending*
ReplyDeleteWow, so many people can't seem to accept a sad ending.
ReplyDeleteThe ending fit, Twilight wouldn't be happy with the title, so Trixie fought to regain it.
Arrgh. In some ways this ending is actually okay - Trixie's actions are pretty f'ed up, but her motivations are in keeping with her character development throughout the story. Sure, she essentially disregarded Twilight's right to make her own choices, but it was in an attempt to make things better for her.
ReplyDeleteWhat really really chafes my hide, though . . . is that there is NOTHING in the writing of the end that suggests Trixie was anything but RIGHT to do what she did. It seems like the author thinks she was right to 'break them up for her own good'.
It's like if we'd seen Applejack think 'I need to be strong and handle my burdens myself' and try to harvest everything by herself and nothing happened to suggest she was wrong.
It's like if Twilight never realized that Friendship Is Magic, if she was driven only by duty and not by any bonds to the other ponies, and the show let her defeat NMM ANYWAY.
It's like if . . . if . . . I just can't think of any other examples this bad.
Trixie's heart was in the right place, but her actions were incredibly, unhealthily bad and the writer seems to show them as being nobly, wonderfully right.
Just because you sacrifice something, doesn't mean someone else actually gains anything. Sometimes making a sacrifice is the selfish choice. But the moral here seems to ignore that.
/rant . . . okay, time to get back to doing whatever I was doing before I got waaay too emotionally invested in this ;D
T.T The ending made it sad
ReplyDeleteI was with this story since it started, and I saw that the updates were over... but now with a sad tag. This was... *sniff*
ReplyDeleteThe ending really made me sad... more than anything else I've read.
wow that ending was depressing, good and fitting but depressing. what happened to the good ol days where happy endings werent the mythical creatures they seem to be today?
ReplyDelete@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteYes, of course I read the last two pages; the whole thing, even. However, it seems we have come to two different conclusions upon reading the material. I will address the main thrust of the two points you raise:
1. If Trixie is so crushed after being defeated by Twilight time and again, why does she absolutely leap at the opportunity for a rematch? Trixie goes on an epic adventure and learns, at least academically, that the title which she had been seeking and building herself around is not a fulfilling objective. She learns that friendship matters and even philosophizes about the difference between friendship and love. Trixie seems to have become very introspective after her journey. As you say, it's a journey of "Self-Actualization" and a means of obtaining a purpose to life. Yet, upon returning and discovering that she still has a chance to get the title, does she make good on this new knowledge? Does she act like she has been filled with a purpose that no longer is wholly embodied in the pursuit and justification of a title? No, she anonymously enters the competition, avoiding contact with Twilight and her friends, and pursues her original purpose to once again clinch the title. Are we supposed to believe that after a long multi-national journey filled with introspection and adventure that Trixie STILL needs this title to become "self-actualized"? No, she just wants the damn title. Oh, but you say that Trixie wasn't doing this for her ego, she was doing it to protect Twilight. She was doing it to SAVE Twilight from the burden of being "great and powerful". Trixie even spells that out for us, right in the text. While you seem to take this at face value, TenchiFreak5, I see it as a rationalization. A rather ironic rationalization at that, when you consider how enraged Trixie was when she discovered that Twilight had been trying to save her from the humiliation of defeat.
2. We also seem to disagree on whether or not Trixie is self-absorbed. While Trixie does hold others in her thoughts, I made my assertion based on what she actually DID. What Trixie did was run away from the friends who supported her, and even after she internalized their value, she continues to "run away" from them by hiding herself from them. What Trixie did was deliberately withhold letters from Twilight, when she knew that Twilight missed her. What Trixie did was doggedly pursue the maintenance of her status at the expense of others. These actions are not consistent with someone who actually cares and it only makes her philosophizing all the more hollow.
TL;DR: I see a dichotomy between what Trixie does and what she thinks. I don't like Trixie because of this. I don't have to like Trixie to like the story, however.
@Shader
ReplyDeleteA sad ending was always on the cards. I always assumed that there was the possibility that the Twixie would fall apart at the end, which is actually what I expected going into this chapter and seeing the shiny new [Sad] tag.
What I did not assume was a possibility that Trixie's justification would undermine 10 chapters of steady character building, and her specific reasoning would directly contradicts the events of one of the strongest scenes in the entire story. The scene that drove her character more than any other.
The only way the ending fits is if this chapter was the only one in the story.
I noted the sad tag before I started to read, and guessed it would have something like that ending, but it was really well written. I'd guessed trixe would turn up in the competition before it started (and had guessed enigma was her long before it was announced), but it still sent chills down my spine as I finished this.
ReplyDeleteTo those who are calling Trixie a bitch here are missing the point. Trixie was willing to win the title on a one-on-one duel with twilight as it would be low-key, so she could potentially live in ponyville in relative peace. She would have relinquished the title to the competition had twilight not entered herself, knowing that she would have won, and been condemned to the life of the traveler, something that would tare her apart, even if she came along, the price was too great. This way, only she would have to pay the price, which she now views as a curse, as she won't be able to be with twilight
this was fantastically well written, and I desperately hope this will be incorporated into canon somehow as it makes a great deal of sense, and worked so well. I actually also really liked the bitter ending, as it will really stand out for it. We don't always get what we really want, even if we go get what we wanted initially
I cried so many tears during this chapter.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I cried because I thought Trixie was dead.
Then, I cried out in joy when I realized that "enigma" was Trixie in disguise. I figured it out long before it was revealed though. That could have been hidden better, but the stunning realization still reduced me to tears.
Then, I cried when I saw Trixie give such an inspirational, endearing, brilliant and wordly speech, a speech that gave an eloquent finale to a brilliant lesson on the magic of life itself.
Then, I cried when Trixie said she only wanted Twilight as a friend. I cried for the want of a happy Twixie relationship.
Then, I fell out of my chair, and rolled around on the floor, seriously soaking the carpet with my fucking tears, when I read Trixie's unsent letters, and read that she had wanted Twilight all along, but had denied that purposefully to suit a different goal. I couldn't stop crying even as I read the last scene, and I used up every tissue on my fucking desk.
Even now, I can't seem to stop letting tears fall as I write this. This story, through every chapter, grabbed me and pulled on my heartstrings, you had me rooting for the perfect ending, and then it got fucking crushed. I think I got way too emotionally invested in this story.
I'm not sure whether to congratulate you in your beautiful and moving story, or curse your name because of that ending. That ending is so completely against everything I was hoping for, every ideal I believe in, every wish I had for these two characters, and even the moral of the entire show (Friendship is MAGIC! Duh! Not "Friendship is sacrifice and sadness"), that I seriously can't cope with how it makes me feel.
Thank you for completely ruining my day, but in such a beautiful way that I just can't stay angry.
I... I think I need to go reread "Out in the Cold/Midnight", that will make me happy, I just know it.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWait... What?!
ReplyDeleteNOOO!!!
I was really hoping for a happy ending for this one, honestly I'm quite saddened. But, if anything, the fact that I was shocked and left feeling slightly drained is a sign of decent writing.
I was overall very impressed with the story. It was well paced, with a surprisingly well-executed combination of comedy, action and tragedy. My only criticism is that the sections involving the village in the forest seemed to be slightly rushed, and I'd expected to see it return towards the end so the curse could finally be lifted. Seemed odd to include something like that and not make a huge deal out of it.
Looking forward to seeing more of your work!
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteTwo things:
1. I would like to apologize for the harsh tone of my initial reply. I'm pretty sure now that I was just pissed at what I had read but hadn't put my mind to the why.
2. I was talking in terms of her actions in this chapter, because it didn't originally hit me (see above, where I couldn't place the why) but I immediately placed a dividing line between this chapter and the previous ones and was speaking strictly in terms of her actions in this one.
Basically, I don't agree with the specifics, but I'm finding it harder and harder to care the more and more I think about how much the final 5 pages or so derailed the entire story, so I suppose I concede.
It was a nice ending but now I am sad. Can you write a happy ending TwilightXLuna fic now? There aren't enough of those.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't seem like everyone actually understands what Trixie was doing.
ReplyDeleteShe's not after the title. She intends to take the title to prevent Twilight from having to live the lifestyle that it forces (traveling around).
That's why she was happy when Twilight didn't show for their duel, but sad when she entered the tournament (knowing she would win). So she resolved to win the tournament so that she could 'take the burden' herself.
What I don't like about it is why she decided to keep it. It could have been a 5 minute conversation at the hotel (by the way, I'm gonna go lose this title because it sucks). I personally would have preferred a happy ending, and I try not to let the sad ending influence my opinion of the story, but I just don't feel that it makes sense.
oh god that ending.
ReplyDeletetruly a heart breaker.
Why...
ReplyDelete...
Why do I rather this as an ending compared to the usual "Oh let's kiss!" endings.
All I want is an Epilogue. Just one little Epilogue that would make them happy.
ReplyDelete