[Normal][Comedy] Apparently this story made the pre-readers feel self conscious, since this author busts out amazing art too. In other words they liked it, a lot.
Author: Sagebrush
Description: Who are those courageous and stoic ponies that put their lives on the line in service of the princesses? Follow the tale of Storm Stunner, a new recruit to Equestria's Royal Guard.In Her Majesty's Royal Service (All Links)
Additional Tags: Guard, Ponies,Three, More, Words
Description: After guardsponies Storm Stunner, Crack Shot, and Check Mate proved instrumental in stopping an interdimensional incident that threatened to annoy the city of Canterlot, the Royal Guard made a realization: perhaps they might just be able to serve functions beyond pulling aerial chariots and trying not to blink in public.
Now months later, they’re finally starting to get somewhere with each of the odd regimens they’ve designed; it’s a shame that three of their number will have to miss the progress to follow. In recognition of their prior bravery, quick thinking, (and to a smaller degree their dumb luck), Princess Luna has given Storm, Check, and Crack Shot a special assignment: to visit the lands on the borders of pony control, to sample the local flavors, and to maybe even take a picture or two. One might dare to call it a vacation.
However, expectations mean little so far from home, and despite Luna’s wishes to keep the guardsponies out of harm’s way, the world can easily change in a thousand years. The three guardsponies may be forced to deal with the inconvenience of their vacation turning into an adventure.
From Canterlot with Love (New Part 9!)
Additional Tags: Polysyllabic, inappropriately, tagged, guardspony, haiku,
149 comments:
lol @ additional tags
decent
*reads title
*expects James Bond crossover
*gets comedy
CLOSE ENOUGH
@Anonymous
I will admit that the title was in some small part inspired by the only Lazenby entry to the Bond films.
Oh, I think I like where this is going. Finally explains why all the guards look the same, too.
Hey! I don't look like the other guards!
Lousy civilians...
Well... That can't be too good for a coat. Also, is it just me or does Nomde have some awfully suspicious anagrams?
Well, this certainly promises to be a fun read. Storm and the other OCs seem like fun characters, and I really hope that author unicorn sticks around. Her occasional snark was rather amusing.
Good to know they put it here, remember, I'll be watching.
Pretty good. I loved the explanation for why the guards all look the same.
Stop right there, criminal scum!
And here I was wondering why all Royal Guard were White with Blue Eyes. :D
Behold the power of bleach.
"an explosion of weapon-based fashion in Manehattan"
I see what you did there; clever.
...wait, the guards call the Princess "Celly"? xD
Although, minor mistake in the second chapter - I took the time to check the math (I know, I know), and 9 x 2 + 3 = 21. Or maybe 45. Either way, there's no way it could come out as 2.
I might be wrong, though. Otherwise, it's a fun read.
@Tiroth
I actually included that problem due to a debate it sparked over an earlier fan fiction ;).
@RLM
*whistles innocently*
I read chapter one, and it was okay. Not great, but okay.
Then I read chapter two, and now I'm completely hooked. I cannot wait to see more of Equestria's finest.
I'm lovin it.
Please, sir, can I have sum moar?
Bleach? Dayum shame.
@AnonymousActually, a quick Wikipedia search leads me to believe that Nomde Plume's name comes from the phrase "Nom de plume", which basically means a penname. So I doubt that it's meant to be an anagram.
Cacopony? *groan* Bad puny name for the win.
Also enjoyed the small "Ballad of Twilight Sparkle" reference.
I like this story.
@Tiroth
I think the recruiter saw it as 48/(2*(9+3)). That would give 2 as an answer.
The characters are likeable and instantly memorable, even the bit characters. I liked the detailed setting and the in-jokes, although some of them would sail right over the heads of new people in the community. However, the narrative doesn't rely on them, nor is it saturated in them, so it works. I also loved the explanation of the guard's colours.
@ a href #c2091010334896759990 >ZettaLux /a>
Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!
Wow, Blogger butchered that.
Alright, I know the update schedule isn't exactly tuned to its "hourly/half-hourly" backbone, but seriously? You only gave Part 3 a full minute of spotlight time? That's unfair.
@Torrential:
Oh hush, isn't the point of your job that not many ponies know about you?
HA! Pink Celestia cardboard cutouts!
Alright, another royal guard OC!
Was half-expecting a 'Storm was then pushed into a vat of white dye' line though.
The cutouts. Brilliant.
After a sea of sad and depressing (but well written) fics, this is a very appreciated breath of fresh air! I'm definately enjoying this, fingers crossed that it continues in its excellent form :)
Although this is so impossibly hilarious, I'm still kinda stuck on how there's no way any royal guard would be so secretive about, well, everything. Especially since the royal guard isn't such an important thing as it used to be (accommodations for hundreds of trainee guards and only thirty actually going through? Not to mention lots of other funny little things that also imply it's not quite so serious.)
Good story, but why would they get their coats bleached before training?
@Anonymous
I guess to get used to it early?
I liked part 3 a lot. The final words of the unicorn instructor made my day :)
Now...back to work >_>
@Display Name
Oh shut up you!
I can tell every pony I damn well please!
It's not like Celestia can try to do more than kill me...
Oh man, brings me back to my days in basic training. Though not as zany as in your story, I've had my fair shares of the wacky the Army has to offer. Anywho, good job. I can't wait to read more. You got my support, brony.
Loving the comedy, cant wait for more!
Hah, the contacts and the Celestia cutout gags were funny as hell.
Frankly I think white dye would have been a better medium than bleach. You ever got that stuff on your skin? It burns like a Saddlef*cker.
But then bleach rolls off the tongue easier.
I dunno, maybe Equestrian Bleach doesn't burn.
Excellent story though! Simply fabulous. the Characters are well constructed, the humour is good, and the writing on the whole is congruous.
It is me or the caporal kickstart look exactly like Rainbow Dash if she was bleached and wearing blue contact lenses? This guard act exactly like I would expect Dashie to act.
Kickstart is hilarious.
Heck, this whole series is hilarious. Expect me at the release of every chapter, Sage.
@Tiroth
Using integer maths, I got an answer of 5 for the maths question in Chapter 2.
2*9 = 18
42/18 = 2
2+3 = 5
I'm sure other programmers will have noticed this, too.
I watch a show about magical ponies. The last thing I want to feel is self-conscious.
Another great chapter, w00.
Every time I read a new chapter I wake up my room mates with my laughing. The only other time that's happened is with the legit series.
Awsome. I really like your writing style.
The "Del Mare Racetrack?"
I'm detecting a Cali brony here. Although I never really went to the fairgrounds except for, well, the county fair. Fun stuff, that midway.
Your social commentary is a riot, Sagebrush.
Though I will admit that the sudden break of the fourth wall jarred me quite a bit.
I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite story on Equestria Daily.
@Kjh242
Just one state over actually =).
@Anonymous
I know! I had this whole scene planned out for Storm, Check, and Crack Shot, then Storm had to go and try to play Romeo!
Also, thank you for the kind words Commander Shepard!
Why isn't this 6-starred yet? THIS IS TOTALLY AMUSING.
@Grif
Well, a 6-star story requires a 4.9 rating at least. It's a pity that this story doesn't have that, because this is actually rather well-written.
The story started off intelligently, and then it proceeded to add comedy, which were then themselves proceeded by good characterization, meanwhile losing none of the previously acquired assets. Shows you that a good story is based in intelligence.
And the length is really good. These were nice reads. Please make more.
The Full Metal Jacket reference made me think of vuvuzelas - "This is my trumpet. There are many like it but this one is mine BRRRZZZZZZZZZ"
Anyhow, a fine story in spite of how it's almost entirely OC ponies. Nice work.
It's a hell of a story. The characters all have strong voices, and the detail's that gone into the prose gives a wide canvas for the bits of humor. My favorite moment's probably Nomde eating her flower. It was so amusing and unexpected, even though it was really obvious in hindsight.
Reading this to the police academy theme is oddly fitting.. :D
>“You guys go on ahead, I’ve got some stuff I want to do,” Storm contradicted the author.
-...
...
...Really ?
Was THAT really necessary ? That's not even a proper *Pinky Pie 4th wall* breach... meh. It just sounds ''self-insert'' or whatever the term is.
@Nova25
None of it is really necessary =). I hope that sentence didn't detract from the rest of the story for you!
"I don't know what I've been told!"
"BUT PRINCESS CELESTIA'S MIGHTY OLD!"
"Good heavens, my sides. I think I may have ruptured my spleen, too! I honestly expected Staff Sergeant to telekinetically blow Kickstart half a football field away after that!
Minor issue:
I think unicorn teleportation is being overused a bit. Granted, all G1 unicorns could teleport, but in G4, Twilight Sparkle has been the only pony who would wink out. It's like one of her special talents (sadly we never see it after Ep. 04).
Oh, speaking of Twilight, I absolutely loved the "Twilight Series" gag/jab. It's set up like it's referencing Meyer's books, but of course is referring to Sparkle. It was a nice gag.
@Vulpimorph
I'll admit that was a concern of mine, since that ability hasn't made much of an appearance in the show. In my interpretation, I take it as a skill that can be developed through training, though canon may very well obliterate that assumption =p.
This story isn't dead is it? It's really good and I want to read more of the story!
@Anonymous
Howdy howdy, I'm just bouncing the next chapter off of pre-readers (or trying to) at the moment. It should be up pretty soon, assuming no horrible errors or continuity errors on my part!
This story is excellence! A joy to preread :D
Weeee, fun times.
The moon pie made me Trololol.
Seriously, I actually said "Trololol". It was quite bizarre.
Yay its back. Its so full of win!
A very entertaining chapter. And I take my hat of to the Dead Sea Scrolls. Rather clever in my opinion, and hilarious.
Holy fuck that was awesome. As so many shoutouts and lampshades!
I am thoroughly impressed. I'd easily rank this story up there with Progress.
Infact, after a hard day of working, this made my day so hard, I probably won't stop smiling today. ^^
-The Jack
This was such a cute and silly story. I loved it! Thank you for the smile you've given me today. :D
Not only was this another excellent chapter, but some of the turns of phrase you use tell me that I'm not the only pony fan who watches the Tour de France! (Please tell me I'm right)
Keep up the good work, and allez Voeckler!
@Chris
That's indeed how I added peloton to my vocabulary =).
You have a great capacity for subtle humor. Celestia explaining about Luna's coming appearances made me laugh especially hard.
Beautiful soft silly superb! alliteratively speaking anyways. In summation, truly an incredible work. To speak like check-mate ^^
Definitely eagerly awaiting more with these great ponies. the bleaching made me lol.
This is a great story. Well written, funny and fun to read. Good work!
Kickstart sleeping eyes open and standing made me grin and giggle like an idiot. I love your characters, and you did Cele and Luna well too. Love it and can't wait for more <3
This is my first foray into Fan-Fiction. Why? Because it has nothing whatsoever to do with established characters.
On that note, who else found themselves counting the letters in Storm Stunner's name?
(spoiler alert) I have no idea why, but at first I thought that Celestia's prank was to make her appear undignified before the recruits by sending her favorite dessert. The first time I read it, I thought that the blur was caused by Luna going all Cookie Monster on the box's contents, and "fie!" was Luna exclaiming "pie!" with crumbs in her mouth.
"There’s also the Canterlot Philharmonic, they have got a cellist, ...or was she a contrabassist...?"
These. THESE sort of very subtle nudges are - well, I'd say "what keep me reading", but that's an outright lie. It's the fact that you manage to skillfully write an engaging story WHILE making innumerous tips of the hat and subtle pokes at everypony, that makes me LOVE this story.
Bravo!
So, where is the rest of it? At one point I found chapter 6, but it's non-EQD safe, so it never got mentioned.
I wanna know if there is an Episode 7+ yet
There's a Chapter 6...? That's news to me.
@Anonymous
If this is true, my curiosity is piqued. Where did you stumble across it? I'm surprised to know I've got a ghostwriter, and even more so to hear they've taken it in a... new direction.
@Sagebrush I really want to say it was on DA, but I can't seem to locate it again. It mentioned a picture regarding part of the chapter and everything...
@Sagebrush
Well, Pretty sure it was IHMRS... If not, it melded in so well I didn't notice the change while reading half-asleep...
@Sagebrush
Well, I just looked back through my history, and I read it longer ago than it remembers.
I know it had something to do with a royal guard, and he ended up being forced to the spa. While there, he got a special treatment from a couple of the mares, and yeah.
And I gave up and linked into my google acct for a name.
How is the next chapter coming along?
@Anonymous
I'd say I'm about halfway into it. I've been in the middle of a cross-country move, so that's been taking up a bit more of my time than I'd like =p.
@Sagebrush
Oh, well take your time, things are always better with time. Hope you like wherever you are moving though. I've moved quite a few times and know that it can be quite the challenge.
Sagebrush, I love the fic, hilariously funny. Plus, I learned two new words! It's not every day I learn a new word.
@Sagebrush
HA! Finally found it! So, Turns out it wasn't yours, but something else with a Royal guard. It just blended with yours because I read them one after the other while half asleep.
So, if, you want to know, It's by thedarkfear on Furaffanity. 3-part story named 'Courage.'
Sorry for the confusion, but it drove me mad since I asked...
(EDIT) Screw it. I can't remember which profile I signed in with as Spawn0701...
Dear Sagebrush,
I love you.
Ah, it has come to an end. Pity. I must say I've enjoyed it thoroughly. The last sentence was most excellent, it definitely made me chuckle.
I would definitely like to see more of these characters. Hopefully I'll get that chance, even if it takes a while.
Hey Sage, no need to thank us.
Thank YOU for making a story about such entertaining characters. I'll be sure to keep an eye open for any future stories about Storm and co
Just wanted to say thanks for the story, "In her majesty's service" It was an awesome read and I hope you continue with the characters. You gave them so much life and personality I'd hate to see them disapear. Keep up the good work and I hope to see much more.
Looking forward to the future adventures. You've done an amazing job with the characters.
Oh god non FIM ponies?
CLEANSE PURGE KILL CLEANSE PURGE KILL
Aw, shucks. Over already? I was kind of expecting it to go on indefinitely, and since there was no real over-arching plot, the end came rather abruptly.
Still, great going.
@BornIn1142
As it said in the letter at the end, this is the end of the initial story I wanted to tell. I won't say that I'm done with these characters, as I initially began this with the intent of having them for use in other works.
As for when that'll be, I can't say =P, but I really want to see some of Season 2 first.
Very well written! Refreshing to see a wide vocabulary used in fanfics.
Aww, I'm gonna miss reading more about these guys.
Great work Sagebrush, a refreshingly funny look into the inner workings of Canterlot's finest :)
Now I just need to practice sleeping while standing and I can enrol too :D
Richoof Wagneigher’s Ride of the Hrosskyries.
Mareiam Websteed.
Wikiponia.
...
That's a lotta puns.
Pony puns aplenty.
I am very depressed that this is done already.
@Sagebrush
I just read all the chapters.
Nicely done! It actually had me laughing out loud at some parts. You fleshed these characters out wonderfully.
Enjoyed that a lot.
Though I was expecting Kickstart to actually do something spectacular in some kind of revelation moment, and it never arrived, unless you count sleeping with your eyes open.
Well done! OC ponies are ever so hard to get right, but I think you've succeeded very well!
It's wonderful that despite this being a fic about the Equestrian Royal Guard, it remains light-hearted and humourous, I don't think my poor heart can take any more sad pony fics. Not saying grimdark fics are bad, but it's nice to see these innocent pastel coloured ponies actually BEING innocent pastel coloured ponies...
Five out of five stars, good sir.
@Sagebrush
Also, Lulu...?
Ye Goddesses. The one nickname I thought nobody would've been able to come up with for Luna.
I thought it was just a smidgen more endearing than Lunatic.
@Sagebrush
That counts as well, though slightly less sane.
Just finished up your story a moment ago. Well Done, Mr. Sagebrush! Truly, a satisfying piece of fanfiction that borders on the episodic and fanonical (if such a word were to exist).
I enjoyed your story far more than I usually would one that had a cast made up of OC's; it was one of those very few stories where the exasperation of reading such a fanfiction -- most with shameless self-inserts and outrageous Mary-Sueism -- was practically non-existant.
All in all, a heartily good read. Bravo, Mr. Sagebrush, bravo!
Hi Sagebrush, I'm the anon who was derailing the Gdocs chat over pre-reader stuff. In any case, I just wanted to drop by and say again how much I enjoyed this story! The ending came so suddenly, and though it was a wild ride, I wish there was more. Thanks for writing.
@ActionScripter9109
Ah well howdy! We'll see with S2, providing canon doesn't blow this away.
@DantE.MusT.DiE
Thank you! Although, there was Marery Sue back in Ch. 5 ;)...
Enjoyed thoroughly, albeit the last chapter seemed a bit rushed in coming up with a problem for our intrepid hero and then quickly resolving it.
@Sagebrush
A very acceptable inclusion when Ms. Sue has less screen time (or is it page space...?) than a background prop.
And just about as much significant dialogue as one, if I might add.
@Anonymous
Definitely a fair observation.
In the earlier chapters I was hoping to build on Storm's disappointment at the everyday aspects of his duty, and then give him a taste of just what heroics would necessitate in this one. I suppose Storm's line of thinking during the ordeal was the biggest point I wanted to touch on, and the actual action of solving the problem might have taken a backseat to that.
I would love to read the lastet chapter, but I can't, I have no idea what is up with the links being provided of late for Google Docs, but it seems to be a trend in stories I enjoy that no sooner than I open the link and I'm hit with a message about a Google Docs error and being unable to save?
I'm not trying to save anything, I'm trying to read someone else's document. So why I am always getting these stupid messages?
For the most part they don't cause any serious problems, but with this story, IE Browser becomes unresponsive as I try and wait for the pages to load before shutting down the stupid Google Error message. As I find that I can just let it load normally and then close the little message to read it.
Sadly it is not the case in this instance.
Just thought I'd let somepony know about this issue, is it strictly on my end or are the authors providing broken links from a point during their work when Google Docs was attempting to save and this error message popped up? Whatever the issue it is seriously souring me on the Google Docs front.
@Anonymous
Hmm, that is odd!
Well, I've gone about submitting it to FIMfiction (hopefully without butchering my formatting too much), so hopefully it will appear on there soon.
In case gdoc links are still being troublesome, the story is also here.
Chapter 6 gave me a very "Terry Pratchett" vibe. (Slipping in a reference to the 8th color may have helped with that :P) I like it. Very enjoyable to read and you taught me a new word.
How many others noted the reference to Norse Mythology there? Root of a Mountain, Breath of a Fish, all that?
That's what they used to make chains to bind Fenrir. Pretty much a bigass leash.
That's awesome, really. :D
Oh god. The bleach. Pink Celestias. The Twilight series. The dead sea scrolls. The maternity test. Moon pie and solar eclipse. This is all comedic gold, right there. 5 staars, man.
Seriously, that was pretty darn good writing, and an excellent example of an OC pony story. The little references and allusions were excellent. Only one thing bothers me about this story -
WHAT THE HELL WAS HIS TALENT ANYWAY?!?!
What was his talent? I need to know!
Weeellllll... I kinda hinted at in earlier chapters, and it was the reason he was able to pull off what he did in this last one, but for more of a straight answer send me a note on DA or FIMfiction =).
My Little Pony: Bleach is Magic.
Also, 5'd.
Loved it, man, provided many a good laugh!
Anymore in the works?
This is a very good fic, It will be sad to see our heros leave ;(
6/6 :D
I really liked that story. 5/5 The last chapter was a bit out of the blue, but other than that worked very well
>Read the word "Neighbors"
>Take a few seconds to realize it's not a pony-pun.
Also: “That’s the thing lad, magic is one of the most mysterious forces in the universe, and this spell seems to have a life of its own. Sometimes ye’d be best off not tryin’ to explain it.”
It's magic. I ain't gotta explain shit.
Loved the story!
lol... this is so much like Terry Pratchett writing about the Ankh-Morpork guards :D
...and even more so after reading that final chapter. lol, G1 ponies :p
THIS IS MY TRUMPET. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE.
MY TRUMPET IS MY BEST FRIEND. IT IS MY LIFE. I MUST MASTER IT AS I MUST MASTER MY LIFE.
MY TRUMPET, WITHOUT ME, IS USELESS. WITHOUT MY TRUMPET, I AM USELESS. I MUST PLAY MY TRUMPET TRUE. I MUST PLAY TRUER THAN MY FRIEND WHO IS TRYING TO OUT DO ME. I MUST TRUMP HIM BEFORE HE TRUMPS ME. I WILL...
MY TRUMPET AND MYSELF KNOW THAT WHAT COUNTS IN THIS SONG IS NOT THE NOTES WE PLAY, THE NOISE OF OUR PLAYING, OR THE EARDRUMS WE BURST. IT IS THE SONG THAT COUNTS. WE WILL PLAY.
MY RIFLE IS A BRONY, EVEN AS I, BECAUSE IT IS MY LIFE. THUS I WILL LEARN IT AS A BROTHER. I WILL LEARN ITS WEAKNESSES, ITS STRENGTHS, ITS PARTS, ITS ACCESSORIES, ITS VALVES, ITS HORN. I WILL EVER GUARD IT AGAINST THE RAVAGES OF WEATHER AND DAMAGE AS I WILL EVER GUARD MY LEGS, MY ARMS, MY EYES AND MY HEART AGAINST DAMAGE. I WILL KEEP MY TRUMPET CLEAN AND READY. WE WILL BECOME PART OF EACH OTHER. WE WILL...
BEFORE CELESTIA, I SWEAR THIS CREED. MY TRUMPET AND MYSELF ARE PLAYERS OM MY COUNTRY. WE ARE THE MASTERS OF SONG. WE OUR THE SAVIORS OF MY LIFE.
SO BE IT, UNTIL VICTORY IS EQUESTRIA'S, AND THERE ARE NO EARDRUMS, BUT PEACE!
Read first chapter, hooked instantly, good writing there Sage ^-^
Well, after reading it all, I can only conclude this is indeed an homage to Discworld. The mention of the colour Octarine in the last chapter finally gave it away :p
Definitely good writing, although I think the story may have been better with a few less shout-outs towards the end.
@RainbowDat I think it was to fly to space. Either that or plain old jogging. Just to show how ponies can go beyond their destiny.
So... with the posters commenting on Sagebrush's art, why didn't they USE it? He did make a pic for it.
=) loved these guys - and when the bindle came back from the depths to which it was cast I howled XD
Unlike most of the fanfics featuring Luna, this story is only reinforced by Luna Eclipsed, given Luna's antiquated form of speech.
I haven't been torn about a story like this in a while. I your characterization of all the OC ponies and how they interact. Like how you go into detail into life in Canterlot, but I guess I've been 'corrupted' by other fics representation of the royal guard and can't get over the difference.
Still a good story, that seems to have a lot of appeal. Good luck with it.
“You guys go on ahead, I’ve got some stuff I want to do,” Storm contradicted the author.
I may be exaggerating, but this breach of the fourth wall is on level with Mel Brooks. I love it. Now on with the story!
And done. This is definitely my favorite [comedy] story. Clever references, a cute love story that didn't bog down the plot. Endearing characters for a bunch of OC's. And that ending! Again, Mel Brooks would be proud.
You know, when you add those 2 extra tags at the end, it really kills what I was going for with the first five =P.
@Sagebrush
Heh, that explains it. I was having trouble pulling a haiku out of that.
Relatedly, I'm terribly excited to see this. I loved the story the first time around and the idea of a sequel has me quite enthused. You've got a great knack for this, Sagebrush.
To be honest, I was actually expecting to see some of Luna's Night Guards.
I've waited so long for you to post this sequel you have no idea.
I shed a tear of happiness.
New story? Awesome!
Update to one of the best stories on the site? Oh Celestia, today's a GOOD day!
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