Author: Kraken Albatross
Description: Ten years after the events of 'Over a Barrel', an unexpected death in the family lands Applejack and her friends in Appleloosa. However, the town has changed drastically since their first visit, and the ponies soon learn that Appleloosa is one hell of a place to start a new life.Appleloosa (New Part 6!)
Additional Tags: Long, Western, Drama, Future, Swearing
31 comments:
A little off topic, but who will say "APPLELOOOOOSA!" now with such a great voice and pitch?
>Shipping tag
I wonder why it has tha-
>Fluttershy and Applejack
...oh.
Hehehe... this should be interesting...
Flutterjack? Or Appleshy? Interesting choice. Nice refreshing break from Rainbow Dash/Anything.
sorry, but couldn't continue it with all your marriages and stuff
...Swearing?
@Saddlesoap
Here and there, maybe. Just a titch.
It's like an MLP/Deadwood crossover.
Well that was...interesting...
Nothing really good, but nothing really bad. It's just...okay...
Grim grim grim. No sir, I don't like it.
Uh this is a very... Peculiar story. I've never seen the swearing tag before, though I can see why. That Blackwell drops the f bomb in almost every sentence. And I'm not a fan of this type of shipping, plus the thing with Rainbow was just wrong.
I am strangely intrigued by this story. There's something going on that no one's telling the new mares from Ponyville, and that suspense is begging for me to read more!
I don't find the shipping that bad, and I love the Appleshy pairing. I eagerly await the next chapter!
Haven't even read the full thing, but seeing the word "Wife" near enough every paragraph seems to make it look really... forced... you don't gotta refer to the character as their wife all the time, a name also works.
Or i'm only noticing the instances where it says wife instead of anything else. But meh.
This isn't grimdark but it certainly feels grim-something. Black Hill is definitely the the kind of pony that'd kill you then demand your money.
The standard western story. I bet this land worth a fortune, probably in jewel or something. Well, Rainbow Dash is better return to the mayor and see what are the lots that aren't the property of Black Hill. Pinkie Pie need this bakery, Rainbow Dash will be loyal to her wife's dream and make it true.
"Wester"? Missing an 'N' there, buddy.
Oh come on. I enjoyed it. I like the changes in the characters and town.
Oof. This one hurts a little. Mixed emotions 'n stuff. I'll try to remember to come back to read future chapters.
Perhaps a tad predictable? But ignoring that I really enjoyed it, and I did like the writing style. The plot was definately fleshed out a lot better than I initially thought, so that was a welcome find. Lookin' forward to more :)
it's ok. uhm, i like how Appleloosa Orchards is shown at the end. the swearing, though ... it's a bit much. maybe cut down a smidgen? it's not that the swearing is there, i'm not offended or anything, it's just that it's pulling me out of enjoying the story a bit. i've never met anyone that swears like that and my father was a sailor. uhm, really. unless this is referencing something that i'm unaware of. if that's the case, please ignore me.
as for grim, it's ... mature but i wouldn't call it grimdark. sorry ... maybe in later chapters. with all the odd build-up between the townsfolk and the two couples, i was expecting rape or something. very glad, by the by, that that didn't happen.
sorry if i sound mean, i don't mean to be. it's not a bad story and i didn't notice any glaring mechanical errors. i am going to admit that a few times, i had to step away though. i think i was expecting really Bad Things (tm) to happen. sorry.
... Points for Time Stand Still lyrics. :D
So far, I like it.
@supervanman64 Also Rainbow Dash/Pinkie Pie. Never saw THAT one coming.
'Fuck' word count : 22 (Ch.1)
So...
-Too big family at Sweet Apple Acre kinda *force* AJ to move somewhere else, because they don't make enough money... apparently ?...
-Fluttershy has to abandon her animal friends behind, for AJ...
-Rainbow Dash cannot fly anymore (oh for the love of !... what do authors ALL have against her ? They always break her wings or say that she can't fly anymore... This is getting seriously OLD now...)
-Pinky Pie cannot stay in Ponyville anymore because... because ? ...huh ? Sugar Cube corner doesn't make enough money ?? the Cakes don't approve Pinky's mariage ?? ...something-something weak ?...
-Breaburn died mysteriously, apparently because he was being 'drunk'...
-Appleoosa is now populated by ass-holes, criminals, low-life ponies and the like...
-Pinky cannot buy her lot for the bakery...
-The applefarm is pretty much deing...
-and Bloomberg is dead...
Oooooooooooooooookk ??
I suppose the author is laying DAMN THICK the depression in this first part to, hopefully, progressively brighten things up a little ? ...that or give people some free ropes to ''hang out'', hum ?
Pinkie and Rainbow dash... married... i did not see that coming...
@Casper
Why do people are so surprised ?
There quite a few, if not MANY, stories about AJ and Fluttershy together... and -especially- Rainbow Dash and Pinky Pie.
I love this so much, pinkie and dash, and fluttershy and applejack are my favourite ships :)
and this was an interesting story, I'm really intrigued to read the next chapter.
and
HATERS GUN HATE :3
I'm enjoying the story. It's interesting. I like the western/MLP thing going on.
Swearing? yeah, its there. It seems appropriate for the character, if a BIT over-used.
The ships are interesting. Gotta say, I'm lovin the Appleshy [Flutterjack?] thing. Dang sweet.
Anyway: keep it up. Can't wait 'till the action starts.
Yes! Applejack/Fluttershy- finally! :D
I'm having trouble seeing Fluttershy and Applejack as a couple. I mean, they hardly have any interaction in the show. I don't know, I just don't see it.
Hmm... I like it, but it could be better, 20% better if I'm correct.
The "shipping" thing is a bit weird, but does make the story a bit less depressing, and in any case it's probably better than to do a "handwave" and just pair them between each other rather than making OCs or grabbing background ponies and give them characterization (which would make the chapter longer) while the mane cast already have established characters, also better and easier to write with less characters, and let's face it, when they get older, they should "get some".
But now that all the backstory stuff like the couples getting together, their reason to go to Appleloosa (Poor RD, btw), and the town itself going through something similar to the Golden Rush is explained and is no longer in the way of the story now it will focus on the present and maybe turn the story into something worth the read.
Who knows, this could be interesting.
aww no update yet? major bummer. I wanna see what happens.
Is there gonna be more??
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