Have a monthly update! Lots of new fics this time around., along with the new image.
All stories in the Fallout Equestria Side Story post completely skip the pre-readers. Quality levels are pretty random, but that isn't really the point. People really love Fallout Equestria, and taking a part of the world for themselves to build a story around is just fun.
If you find any broken links, toss me an email!
Check them all out after the break.
[Crossover][Grimdark]
Author: Sales Kital
Description: A Pegasus pony wakes to find himself in a stable testing room with few memories and only a letter from his sister to remind him of his past, and some un-natural abilities. As he makes new friends and reunites with old friends the true nature of the Forgotten Wasteland gets revealed, as well as signs of other survivors of The Vault's Experiment.(Please post reviews of this story on the FIMFiction page)Fallout: Equestria - Forgotten Light
Additional Tags: Fallout, Post-Apocalyptic, Unorthodox, OC Ponies, Amnesia, Stable-tec Experiment
Game Mod: Dash's Lightning
[Grimdark][Crossover] Side Story by another author!
Author: VenomPepsi
Description: A young stallion awakens to find himself in a cruel unforgiving Equestria, and has to learn how to survive. Set within Kkat's fanfic.Fallout: Equestria: Stalliongrad
Fallout: Equestria: Stalliongrad Part 2
Fallout: Equestria: Stalliongrad Part 3
Fallout: Equestria: Stalliongrad Part 4
Additional Tags: Fallout, Equestria, Fanfic, Within, Fanfic, Incomplete, Buck, H.E.L.P.
[Grimdark][Crossover]
Author: dragonshardz
Description: What happens when Enclave ponies have non-pegasus children? They become Fallen.Fallout: Equestria - Cold North Prologue
Fallout: Equestria - Cold North Part 1
Additional Tags: Fallout, Equestria, Incomplete, OCs, First-person, mostly OCs. One oblique mention of Rainbow Dash.
[Grimdark][Crossover][
Author: Daniel Scott
Description: There are many stories in the wasteland, many remain untold, many never will, as is the nature of war and war, war never changes. This is the story of project safe-stable, run by the Ardenalia* stem of Stable-Tec, a series of stables built to safeguard a select portion of the population from mega-spell warfare. Of course this was not the real reason why these stables were created, that was far more sinister. This tale of the post apocalyptic wasteland that was Ardenalia, begins with the residents of safe-stable number 34, specifically a grey, ordinary looking unicorn pony named Abigail PonytonFallout Ardenalia Part 1
Fallout Ardenalia Part 2
Fallout Ardenalia Part 3
Fallout Ardenalia Part 4
Additional Tags: Fallout, Australia, Psychological, Dark, Wasteland, Abigail, Tobias, John, Amata
[Grimdark][Crossover]
Author: theBSDude
Description: Equestria history: How does one go from pastel pony to wasteland raider? A series of simple compromises. Hoofsong lived a privileged life in an open Stable in the metro, until she earned her cutie mark and struck out for greater purpose. Her little band of adventurers grows into a gang, while tough decisions about resources and moral snowball.Deviant Art
Fallout: Equestria - Loshadinyĭstan Prologue
Fallout: Equestria - Loshadinyĭstan Part 1
Google Documents
Fallout: Equestria - Loshadinyĭstan Prologue
Fallout: Equestria - Loshadinyĭstan Part 1
Additional Tags: Fallout, Equestria, Metro, Slippery Slope, Psychological, incomplete
[Grimdark][Crossover][Shipping][Adventure]
Author: D4SHTH3R4INB0W
Description: Hard Wing, a lone pegasus from stable 2. He wished for adventure, he wished to be rid of the grey prison which is the stable. He wished to change the wasteland. When the two mares left stable 2 he followed them. He met the harsh wasteland and its, inhabitants. He set out to seek allies who shared his wish to change the wasteland, gaining many valuable, loyal, honest friends. Friends that would stick by him till the bitter end because even in the once lushious lands of Equestria, war never changes, neither does friendship.Fallout: Equestria - Hard Wing
Additional Tags: Equestria, Hard Wing, Post apocalypse, survival, friendship, incomplete
[Crossover][Grimdark]
Author: Ken Stone
Description: A brain damaged mare and her crippled daughter wander around Ponyville aFallout: Equestrian Adventure
day after Littlepip passed through.
Additional Tags: betrayal, cyborg, weapons, fight, wander, Lee, Annd
[Crossover][Grimdark]
Author: Jeff Tielke
Description: The Goddesses of the land are dead, or are they? An ancient god sets out to revive the goddesses without trying to upset the laws of the world.Fallout:Equestria - To be an Immortal Part Prologue
Fallout:Equestria - To be an Immortal Part 1
Fallout:Equestria - To be an Immortal Part 2
Fallout:Equestria - To be an Immortal Part 3
Fallout:Equestria - To be an Immortal Part 4
Additional Tags: Long, Fallout, OC Ponies, grimdark, Ethstar, Aliana
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Melon Hunter
Description: Spared from the megaspells that annihilated Equestria, the city of New Neighgas is a haven of the Old World, set amongst a sea of chaos. Warred over by two armies bearing the standards of the ancient royal alicorns, it seems that the city will forever be embroiled in conflict for its pre-war treasures. However, all that is set to change with the package borne by the pegasus courier Spectrum from Stable 84, a pegasus who could alter the landscape of Neighgas forever, or could be crushed beneath its foundations like so many before her...Fallout: Equestria: New Neighgas
Additional Tags: Fallout, post-apocalyptic, spin-off, long, adventure
[Adventure]
Author: Damnfool Brony
Description: When Littlepip messed-up Red Eye’s operations near the Fillydelphia crater, Xenith wasn’t the only one she accidentally freed. This is the tale of Lucky Charm, one of the many fillies and colts, now young mares and stallions, who were separated from their parents when Red Eye’s slaver-ponies swept the Equestrian Wasteland for his ‘volunteer’ workforce. Intelligent, educated and pragmatic, Lucky has finally escaped Red Eye’s perfect prison of pampering and privilege and reached the world beyond.FO:E "Kiss Equestria Goodbye
Now free, Lucky is at a loss. Though he’s thrown off Red Eye’s yolk, he’s lost the single, driving force that had made him silently resist Red Eye’s constant propaganda in the first place. To survive the physical and psychological horrors of the wasteland Lucky must find his reason for being or die trying.
Set within Kkat’s Fallout: Equestria and attempting to run parallel to it.
Additional Tags: Fallout, OC Ponies, Lasers, Post-Apocalyptic, Spinoff, OC Ponies
[Sad]
Author: JasonMyles
Description: This story takes place in the fallout times.Fallout Equestria: In Celestia's Care (Waiting on unlock)
A young pony named Jason Was caught just outside a huge MegaSpell Blast
While his best friend was caught inside.
Starting to slip he sends messages to his Supposed dead Gf.
Though before sending a message he was caught in some strange events
Will he find a way? or will he loose it?
Additional Tags: oc mostly, And some of the mane cast
[Grimdark][Crossover]
Author: HeavyIsSentry
Description: Loosly based on new vegas and fallout:equestria.Fallout: New Canterlot
After war unleashed hell on the world,A single courier was hired for a simple delivery mission. Little did he know, that the simple mission will throw him into adventures he never wanted to be in
Additional Tags: The first story I wrote
[Grimdark][Crossover][Shipping][Sad]
Author: Squallious
Description: A quizzical mare finds her way into the equestrian wasteland, escaping a wholesale slaughter of everything she ever knew. As she sets off to find out who is responsible, who knows what else she may find?Fallout Equestria Side Story: Summer Showers Bring May Flowers
Additional Tags: Wanderlust, Fallout, Long, OC ponies, Adventure
[Grimdark][Crossover][Sad]
Author: Sgt Muffin
Description:Set before the balefire spread across Equestria. This the story of Lieutenant in the Equestrian army and how he fought not just for his country but for his life.Fallout Equestria: Before the End Prologue
Fallout Equestria: Before the End Part 1
Fallout Equestria: Before the End Part 2
Fallout Equestria: Before the End Part 3
Fallout Equestria: Before the End Part 3 (New!)
Additional Tags: Long, war, death, fallout, fighting
[Grimdark][Crossover]
Author: Vanner
Description: Every day, dozens of ponies fall to the cruelty of the wastes. For one pony, the end of every life is the start of a new. This is the tale of the Gardener and his quest to restore Equestria by burying the past.Fallout Equestria: Gardener (All Links)
Additional Tags: Rebirth, Life, Death, Redemption, Penance
[Grimdark][Crossover]
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Author: No One
Description: Inspired by the heroics of the mysterious mare known as the Stable Dweller, Silver Storm, a guard of the town of Marefort, decides to go on a daring mission to rescue her captured brother. Of course things rarely go as planned and her attempts at heroism drags her into a tangled web of plots and conspiracies as warring factions vie for control over the last great city: Dise.Fallout Equestria: Heroes Prologue
Fallout Equestria: Heroes Part 1
Fallout Equestria: Heroes Part 2
Fallout Equestria: Heroes Part 3
Fallout Equestria: Heroes Part 4
Fallout Equestria: Heroes Part 5 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Heroes Part 6 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Heroes Part 7 (New!)
Additional Tags: grimdark fallout crossover adventure Silver Storm, Wildfire, Smooth Tongue
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Pony Rock
Description: In command of his first squad, Enclave Sergeant Moon Chaser must infiltrate the crumbling city known as Big Smoke and stop an anti-Enclave plot. What is the secret of Stable 322, and what does it mean for the future of the Enclave and the rest of Equestria?Fallout Equestria: Big Smoke
Additional Tags: Long, Spin-off, Post-Apocalyptic, The Enemy, OC Ponies
Author: Roy Calbeck
Description: Dead-Shot's a bounty hunter, and a high-paying New Pegas client wants payback on whoever killed their pet courier. But a pony could damn near retire just on the bonus offered for the goods the courier was carrying..Fallout Equestria: New Pegas (All Links)
Additional Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Grimdark, Incomplete, OC Ponies, Story Dead-Shot
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: StarfallRaptor
Description: There are many Stables built in the area around Canterlot. Of these, Stable 110 is the most secure and well-hidden. So well-hidden, in fact, that many don't even know that it exists anymore. This is the story of Reon, a young security officer from the Stable, who sets out from the only home he's ever known into the harsh wasteland of post-megaspell Equestria. Along the road he will have to travel, he will learn of friendship, of strength, and most of all, what it means to be a hero...Fallout: Equestria: To be a Hero
Additional Tags: Fallout, Crossover, Fanfiction, Action, RPG
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: ThatFrenchBrony
Description: It can be somewhat unsettling to wake up in the middle of the inhospitable Equestrian wasteland with no recollection of the past whatsoever. That said, you don’t necessarily need the past to leave an imprint on the course of the future, either. But will the memento of one pony in particular be for better or for worse?Fallout Equestria- N'oubliez Part 1
Fallout Equestria- N'oubliez Part 2
Additional Tags: Fallout, Adventure, Crossover, Grimdark, Incomplete
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Quotidian Torture
Description: "Dirt Cheap". The squad known throughout the Enclave as a refuge for screw-ups and dissidents, ponies who high command doesn't want to deal with, but can't afford to just "disappear" outright. Instead, they're given a mission and sent into the wasteland on the tail of the Enclave's grand Reclamation effort. But when something goes horribly wrong, they learn first-hand how unforgiving the wastes can be, and what completing their mission will cost.Fallout: Equestria - Stormfront
Additional Tags: Long, Fallout, Enclave, Post-Apocalyptic, Spinoff.
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: a Friendly Hobo
Description: Two young stallions, bored out of their minds in a small frontier town to the west, join a courier service in hopes to escape their mundane lives.Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier Part 1
what seemed like a simple delivery job has taken a turn for the worse.
This is the story of Clover and his fight for both his life and his sanity as he travels across the vast expanse of the Ponave desert.
Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier Part 2
Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier Part 3
Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier Part 4
Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier Part 5 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier Part 6 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier Part 7 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Tales of a Courier (All Links)
Additional Tags: Desert, Dark, OC Ponies, Adventure, Gore.
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Quick Study
Description: With two years of his memories missing and the rest fuzzy, a Steel Ranger Scribe named Hotwire attempts to find purpose. But after receiving a new member to his squad, his memories begin to gradually return. When these memories reveal a dark past, will his squad mates help him find redemption? Based on KKats Fallout Equestria.Fallout Equestria: Brotherhoof of Steel Part 1
Fallout Equestria: Brotherhoof of Steel Part 2
Additional Tags: Hotwire, Penicillin, Ember Pie, Prism, Fo E: side story, post-apocalyptic, long, OC ponies, adventure
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Appledan
Description: What happens when your perfect life is taken away from you? Can you truly stay yourself? After being thrown into the wasteland Cogshift will have to learn to survive, without losing himself to it.Fallout Equestria: Knight of Olden Times (New!)
Additional Tags: Spinoff, Fallout: Equestria, OC Ponies, Post-Apocalyptic,
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: ~Aerondight~
Description: Having lost everypony he cared about one unicorn finds himself in a foreign land.With danger and enemies around every corner he sets of on an adventure that could wary well change the course of the post-apocalyptic Equestria.Meeting new friends and learning more about himself on his journey in the zebras homeland and beyond.Fallout Equestria: Gathering Darkness Part 1 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Gathering Darkness Part 2 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Gathering Darkness Part 3 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Gathering Darkness (All Links)
Additional Tags: Post-Apocalyptic, OC Ponies, Incomplete Fo:E spinoff, Adventure
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Duckman
Description: For almost one hundred years, Stable 55 had been a scientific haven in the wasteland, built on the backs of Equestria's brightest.Fallout Equestria: Hoofington Rises Part 1 (New!)
Under the orders of Stable's AI, a dangerous new project began - The Grand Galloping Gardens Creation Kit.
It was never successful. For fifty years, the Stable remained dormant, until one young mare was pieced back together and sent on a mission to bring help to the survivors of Stable 55.
Fallout Equestria: Hoofington Rises Part 2 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Hoofington Rises Part 3 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Hoofington Rises Part 4 (New!)
Additional Tags: Post-apocalyptic, Survival, Horror, Project Horizons spinoff, Long
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Ten Mihara
Description: 200 years is a long time. Through those years, and the experiences that filled them, I came to possess the knowledge that I imparted to everypony using the Wasteland Survival Guide. Now, it's time to tell my side of the story.The Ditzy Doo Chronicles Intro (New!)
The Ditzy Doo Chronicles Part 1 (New!)
The Ditzy Doo Chronicles Part 2 (New!)
The Ditzy Doo Chronicles Part 3 (New!)
The Ditzy Doo Chronicles Part 4 (New!)
Additional Tags: Prequel, May Cure, timeskip interludes, there will be muffins!
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Strobe
Description: When Mint Jelup's Stable is attacked by raiders, everything she knows is taken from her. Now, she's on a quest to get it all back, but the Wasteland has other plans....Fallout Equestria: Friendship is Power Part 1 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Friendship is Power Part 2 (New!)
Fallout Equestria: Friendship is Power Part 3 (New!)
Additional Tags: Long, Bartender braves the wastes
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Author: Ilushia
Description: Having lost much of her past, memories and purpose in life, Aurora Borealis stumbles upon the junkyard and its sole inhabitant Scraps. Having regained her name and desiring to find her past and place in the world, she begins to walk the paths of discovery. But what she finds and what impact she has may be more than she ever expected.Fallout: Equestria - New Beginnings Prologue (New!)
Fallout: Equestria - New Beginnings Part 1 (New!)
Fallout: Equestria - New Beginnings Part 2 (New!)
Additional Tags: Fallout Equestria Side Fiction OC Ponies
395 comments:
@Fuzzy
ReplyDelete@Somber
I would suggest something like DeviantArt or FIMfiction. Both allow people to watch certain people/stories and get updates when they get pushed out, and as long as you send in Gdoc links to EQD, this post gets bumped as well.
I wouldn't mind Project Horizons getting it's own post, but I agree with Fuzzy on the floodgates logic (Though if it gets sent through pre-readers and gets accepted that could be something different, I dunno).
@Erthilo
ReplyDeleteThat is perhaps the best answer. It is unfortunate, yes, that it cannot be it's own truly unique entity on the site without creating periphery problems. But given how much I personally want to keep reading the ones I do, updates via another site would be good.
Failing that, just throw them in Gdoc and add the links in the comments here. As I MUCH prefer reading in Gdoc layout than Devart.
@Erthilo
ReplyDeleteYour fic intrieged me, I really want to know more about Racket and his life. The theme is brilliant, with the recordings, it makes me want to know more about why he is 'captured'?
@Somber
I haven't read yours yet, due to playing too many video games, but I'll get right onto it. But about you wanting to have your story separate, Fuzzy has already said what the problem is. I would doubt anyone of the other writers would be against you becoming independent of us, and since, from your comments, you seem to be putting a lot of work and time into this.
I'm basically putting 100% I can into it. I want it to be glorious, even to the point of neglecting other projects.
ReplyDeleteI try my best to finish a chapter every 2-3 days and easily spend 20 hours or more per chapter. Waiting day after day for the posting is terrible.
Sigh... well Kkat said she'd be perfectly happy with it. I'll make the offer to Seth. I will happily let pre-readers screen it. I'd love their feedback. I want this to be awesome and I think it has the potential to be...
Does anyone know hen this will be updated? It has been a while.
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDeletehttp://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/08/fallout-equestria-project-horizons.html
All we need now is a spin-off of Project Horizons and the cycle will be complete! (I kid, I kid).
Good work on that though. I think this cuts off any more being 'promoted' like this, since people would probably complain about it, but heck, it's good in principle.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteCOngratulations on attaining your own unique area, Somber. I know I said I had my doubts in the Side Story page about it possibly having some flood gate problems, but I am very happy for the result still.
I'm moving on to the new chapters just now, and as I promised in the old "topic", I will continue to offer feedback and any critique I have as I read.
One question though, how did you actually contact KKat anyway? I had contemplated the issue when you said you had, but I know of no real way other than leaving a message on the main FO:E comments page (which can quickly be lost under a mass of other comments)
Call it more curiosity to know, really.
@Fuzzy
ReplyDeleteWoops! I meant to post this on the main New Horizons page. Oopsie!
Ahoy, everypony! DamnfoolBrony here, ready to respond!
ReplyDeleteDue to character limit, I’ll have to split this into two posts. Sorry.
Alright. Here goes.
Anon1:
Yeah, I really tried to strike that balance between using Kkat’s story and telling my own. I’m glad to see someone appreciated my efforts. Also, I tried to make Lucky come-off as intelligent, driven and pragmatic as possible. I’m pleased you took notice.
As for your own attempts at a spinoff fic, more power to you. The only real ‘canon’ is FiM and Kkat’s work, so go nuts and have fun! That’s... pretty much what I’m trying to do. I’ve found that challenging myself with the goal of ‘Write a story in a universe that’s not your own and make it work while still adhering to all these little details and occurrences” is fun. It’s even better when other people enjoy it too.
More’s coming. I assure you. In fact... more’s already here. Check the bottom of Chapter One!
Anon2:
Thanks, but... would you mind being a little more specific? I know I tend to go overboard with the hyphens sometimes, but the whole issue is that I can’t really tell when I’m going overboard! Alas. It fills me with sadness.
Nova25:
ReplyDeleteAha! A long, detailed comment!
How delightful!
I’ll just, ah, respond to your questions/comments in the order you asked/made them.
1) Probably not the ‘Illustrious Leader’ himself, but maybe his agents. I’m not really sure in what way Red Eye’s influence will appear to Lucky again. Red Eye seems to have his hooves in everyone’s business, so I’m not too worried.
2) If LP keeps doing the things she does, then yes. LP will have a profound effect on Lucky’s life. (Predominantly in an indirect way.)
3) Yeah. For now, Lucky’s cutie mark will remain a mystery. It is, however, related to gems (specifically magical energy weapons and the enchantments contained therein) and perhaps even the occasional explosion.
4) Yeah, that was actually one of the things about the game that bothered me from a ‘realism’ perspective. If the Hei Gui Stealth Suit can be turned off, why not the Stealth Boy? It’s those kind of little realism things that I, as the author, now have the power to change and warp. Yay! (According to a later poster, this was the way it was in the original two games. Cool.)
5) When I was writing about the Fillydelphia monsters, I was torn between making them Trogs and having them be “normal” Zombie Ponies. I decided to go for a mix of both. The ‘Trog’ element is present in the odd spinal curvature of the ‘Husks’ (as both I and Lucky like to call them). In the Pitt, Trogs do this weird “crouch and run on all fours all the time” thing. I tried to adapt this strange behavior to the equine anatomy of the ponies and... I think I did OK. The Husks run around crouched low and bent forwards all the time, which strikes me as pretty weird. Aside from that, they’re really just Zombie Ponies.
6) Heh! Actually, Lucky Charm was my working title for him (seeing as it was actually pretty ironic, considering his LUK stat). It was only later that I realized how well the name fit him and the setting. Eventually, I decided to keep it. Works pretty well, don’t you think?
7) Lucky will be, for certain, traveling outside the Fillydelphia area. I have all sorts of different ideas about places for him to visit and his reasons for being there, but nothing certain yet. He still has a few more interesting things to find in Fillydelphia. As for the Steel Rangers, Lucky actually does run into them later. He doesn’t butt heads with them yet, but he probably will later seeing as he’s toting all sorts of fancy Pre-War gem-tech. As for general direction, Lucky has a touch of the ‘old world blues’ in him. It’ll probably end-up taking him all sorts of places.
~
Alright! I think that’s everyone!
Thanks for all the comments! They really lift my spirits and keep me writing!
… in fact, feedback really does keep me going. If you want me working full-tilt, critique my work!
(Also, Chapter Two’s done. It’s linked to at the bottom of Chapter One.)
Thanks for everything.
@Damnfool Brony
ReplyDeleteThanks for the heads up on Chapter 2! I like that idea that your fans can still read via that.
So after finishing chapter 2, I felt it perhaps felt just a little slow paced. Not in a sense of "it needed something more exciting!" but more in a sense of what we have learned since Chapter 1.
However that said, it has produced one plot hook that no doubt will be of significance. Good to see you've thought ahead to plonk one in nicely in this early chapter.
One little sentence I noticed,
"but there was something about that name that just fit."
Although "fit" does...kinda...work, it doesn't quite read right. I'd maybe have rewrote into "that just worked" or something. Just a little thing I noted, no worries.
On the things I really enjoyed was showing the impact of Steel Rangers. It's always great to see lethality reinforced on groups like them. Good job. I can very much attest to how it feels walking right into a Sentry Bot as well from Fallout 3... :p
Lucky continues to intrigue me. He obviously has a very intellectual approach, logic and careful decision making. How the outside world affects his, so far, collected and calculated thoughts will be very intriguing. Of particular note is his "fake healing" to ease someone. Perhaps a sign of the type of person he might become.
I eagerly await Chapter 3. Well done!
When is this going to update.
ReplyDeleteI'm here sitting in hospital waiting for this to update so i can get some feed back on my side story. If i get some good feed back i will continue if not then i will disband it.
So stressed.
@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDeleteWhich is yours?
@theBSDude
ReplyDeleteNot up there.
It gave it to Seth and it will go up in the next update.
SQUWEEEEE! It's up!
ReplyDeleteLoshadinyĭstan needs your help! I have my own editor and checker, but I've found I need someone familiar with Kkat's Fallout: Equestria (someone who has read chapter 30 or so) for this chapter. If you're interested in helping, comment here. I'll discuss details through dA or Google Docs chat, which ever you prefer. Thanks in advance.
ReplyDeleteman wish Fallout: Equestria: New Neighgas would update it sounding like a great starting point for a story
ReplyDeleteYay, I made the cut, thanks.
ReplyDeleteRofl, omg, Jeff Tielke's group is just going to freaking roflstomp EVERYTHING.GoGo deus ex machina, not that, that's bad in this case.
ReplyDelete@neverknown
ReplyDeleteNew Neighgas is on it's way. I wanted to get some original ideas for fics done first to get some practice in and actually do justice to the FO:E setting, but it's been rattling around in my head long enough that I've got a good idea of where to take the story now. Also, it looks like HeavyisSentry had the same idea as me so I'd best get on with it =P
Fallout E- Forgotten light:
ReplyDeleteThe main character and his sidekick are boring. both have too much ability and information early on but it has potential.
The military Pegasus being able to pick locks and using magic like a pro, Cloud spends 200 years inside a room with little to no side effects.
SHE EVEN REMEMBERS THE PASSWORD TO THE DOOR and there is just a very weak hook to get anyone to read on but if you made it more interesting I can see it work.
The whole read is like playing vanilla wow from lvl 1 to lvl 6. You my friend would probably benefit from a more cataclysmic approach.
Fallout: E- Stalliongrad:
I think you would benefit from a third person approach but that is a minor complaint. You do have a hook.
The main character 6-M / Buck is interesting in that he is asking questions like he is a foreigner to the wasteland yet seems to recall some of his past (lullaby) and apparently is idealistic enough to care for a raider pony.
It is a mighty weird hook but it intrigues me.
H.E.L.P is significantly odd for an A.I Maybe Italic her voice to differentiate between the two as they banter?
I still cannot see how she can communicate with him through the entire facility but its fine.
Fallout E- Lonely Roads is promising, starts slow and jagged because of how the author tells the story but it gets interesting by chapter 3.
Fallout E- Cold North has a premise but the chapter is too short. One thing I do have to say is that two ponies captured by a mutated blind creature is sort of weird.
You would think they had safeguards for such things or would have woken up on the trip towards their cage.
Fallout Ardenalia: Your chapters are too short and Part 1-2 needs what chapter 3-4 have badly. You would probably benefit from third person or using one of the others as your single pony perspective.
Ponies with Multiple personalities are not fun to read about when they are used like yours. Also, Pinkie pie having two personalities is probably not common knowledge XXX years after the mane 6 died.
They have things sort of served on a platter. Some more internal struggle would be nice. Anyone dying would be nicer.
Fallout E - Loshadinystan:
ReplyDeleteI'm leaving my review on the thing on his DA but suffice to say it's too short, just like I think 10 years of stable life before opening the door is too short and the whole thing raises too many questions than it answers.
Fallout E - New neighgas.
I hope it becomes different than the game. I hope the author has imagination enough to couple his more than adequate writing skill with some nice roadblocks for our heroine pegasi. Please do not copy pasta your own play trough with everyone being ponies as some sort of twist. Good luck.
Fallout E - Kiss Equestria goodbye.
I would have thought Red eye indoctrinated them using memory orbs or something a bit more convincing than just a cutie mark rebranding. For instance, he still has their parents <.<
I have yet to read about Charms parents and how he grew up to become a student. It is sort of implied that he came from the wasteland since he did a cutie mark rebrand but I never got to read what it was.
WHAT IS HIS CUTIE MARK? ANSWER ME!
The read itself is interesting and having read Fallout Equestria should be sufficient to get anyone already invested in the universe reading. But anyone else? hmm I doubt it.
Maybe that was your intention?
That test he goes trough makes little sense beyond the gem energy transfer thing.
Abomination ponies inside the outskirts of Fillydelphia do not make a lick of sense in my ears but you can do whatever it is you wish to get the lad moving.
As an avid reader I would have rather preferred him stealthily trying to avoid other ponies than have anything chase him at all. xD
Fallout New Canterlot. I will need more than a page and that shitty scene from new vegas. Good luck.
Fallout E -Before the end. Part1 was weird as for part2.
I do not like how you describe the pony in charge. I also do not understand why pegasi are put into the units to fight alongside everypony else. They have wings and wings means you have a different view of terrain.
Alex Gardiner is not a pony name, i think you took it from Band of Brothers but it's not a major complaint. Finding pony names for everypony is pretty damn hard.
What is a defector Pegasus? I have a hard time thinking a pegasi would just up and abandon his friends.
All in all I think your story is not drawing on enough pony to be worth the time but I'm still going to put that time in because not many would write about this part of the story.
Also no mention of the ministries though 6 years from the start of the war I don't recall when they were put in motion atm.
DamnfoolBrony here, responding with relish!
ReplyDeleteTwo in-depth comments? I feel loved.
~
@Fuzzy:
1) I’m afraid I don’t really understand what you mean when you say “slow paced (...) in a sense of what we have learned since Chapter 1.” So... no comment there.
2) Eh, don’t get too worked-up about it. This plot hook is only significant insofar as it leads to the next, more significant, plot hook. Chapter Three will reveal this much more elegantly than a small reply-blurb in a comment will, so I’ll leave it at that.
3) I altered that a bit a little. Reading with fresh eyes, I saw how that could be a little clunky, so I changed it. As for commenting on grammar and word choice, I’m glad you did. I’m always looking for opportunities to optimize my writing.
4) Yeah, LP is pretty strong when she encounters the Steel Rangers for the first time. Glad someone appreciated my reinforcing of them as super-deadly paramilitary ponies.
5) I’m assuming that by “the type of person he might become” you mean “Virtues”. Lucky has a virtue and I hint at it through the decisions he makes. In fact, Chapter One is chock-full of these little hints. Watch the way he rationalizes his behavior. You might be able to figure it out.
That said, Chapter Three is on its way and your comments are expediting its journey! I’ll try and leave a comment shout-out when it’s done. If that fails, just check the bottom of Chapter Two.
(cont.)
(cont.)
ReplyDelete@Damhoof
1) Huh. Memory orbs. I suppose that could work, especially if Red Eye had enough recollectors for the non Unicorns among them. However, I think that Red Eye would take a much more subtle approach. Kindness, generosity and a disarming personality can win the hearts and minds of colts and fillies much more quickly, cheaply and permanently than implanted memories and lies. “More Than Mind Control” just tends to work better than its standard counterpart in all sorts of aspects. Eventually, Red Eye would become their father. Their totalitarian, cyborg father. Besides. The “Army of the Unity” needs to be sure and strong of purpose, not made of cardboard and falsehoods.
2) Yeah, well... I’ll get around to it. His parents raised him together for the (rather brief) time before they were enslaved and they both came from strong Wasteland stock. Lucky’s actually got quite the tough streak in him, as evidenced by his ability to endure years of psychological subversion and still escape.
3) Lucky’s cutie mark is... (drum roll)
… a trollface.
Heehee. All will become clear as the chapters roll out. Until then, patience. Always patience.
4) Yes. This fic is meant to be read by those who are following FOE as it develops. One does not use the word “parallel” to describe something unless there is something that it is running parallel to. As it stands, Lucky’s escape happens in Chapter Twenty-Five/Chapter Twenty-Six of FOE.
5) Eh... Lucky’s ability to manipulate gemstones is actually really important. “Serious plot point” important. “Integral to his character” important. I’ll... try and make Arcane Science and Magical Energy Weapons make as much sense as possible, but it all just boils down to ‘magic and magic accessories’. If you have suggestions to make my arcanotechnobabble more comprehensible/palatable, then please, by all means, leave them in a comment. I’ll read and respond.
As for the test itself, it was to gauge Lucky’s usefulness in terms of repairing and maintaining high-value items (namely Pre-War tech) which are, for the most-part, gemstone based. I... really thought I did a pretty good job of explaining it. Ah well. Give me some pointers in another comment.
(cont.)
(cont.)
ReplyDelete6) Ah. That’s where the ‘Fallout 3’ crossover kicks in. Trogs littered the Pitt. Husks litter Fillydelphia. I always justified LP not really running into many of them because she mostly stays in areas in the Fillydelphia Outskirts or, when she infiltrates the inner-city, along ways defended from them by Red Eye.
7) Hey. He may be a Waster by blood, but he (unfortunately) knows only what he’s overheard the Talon Company blathering about on their radios. This leaves him largely unprepared for the horrors of Fillydelphia immediately beyond The Wall.
8) “Avid reader”? I’ll assume this means “avid reader of FOE”. If it means “avid reader of FOE and KEG (or even of any FOE side-stories)”, then you’ve made me a very happy Brony.
~
That’s all for tonight, everyone. I try to read every piece of feedback that I get and every bit feeds me like coal in an old-fashioned locomotive engine.
Until my next comment, you stay classy EqD.
@venompepsi
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback, I appreciate it, but unfortunately I'm rewriting everything. Mostly because writing in a third person perspective was getting to be quite a struggle, and I think the story is getting along much better after the re-write. I never get things right the first time, so I guess that also reflect in how I write. Should hopefully be done by next update, hope people will enjoy reading it!
@Damhoof
Heh, we need more people like you around. Thanks for the comments, and I’m sure everyone else appreciates them as well.
I’m writing up some comments, so I’ll post those later.
Well I am an avid reader of all things FO-E so long as it is interesting enough.
ReplyDelete1)Red eye should probably have used the parents more extensively as part of that whole indoctrination thing.
2) Did they come there willingly? If so isn't him escaping against his own parents wishes? You will probably make more sense out of it later on with more chapters.
3)FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
5)You don't need it to make sense. In trying to make sense of it with limited exposition you made less sense of it.
As the reader I can understand that you intended for him to research prewar tech and reading into the theories of Arcane science but with what you have written it does not directly translate into "I can repair energy weapons now."
It makes for better reading if you did not have any previous exposition. If you just kept the energy weapons exam as him reflecting upon his past.
It would get the whole point across with less words and make more sense because in that piece of work you have just reinforced everything previously written.
In short you can write more with less to keep the reader indefinitely more hooked. Kkat uses it. With some practice you can too. ^_^
With that I Wish you good luck and happy writings.
@Damhoof
ReplyDeleteI cannot put into words how great it is to see someone review everyone's fic in detail. I hope you do it again in the future when there have been more updates. :D
@Damhoof
ReplyDeleteI would like to mention that the Article doesn't have a date on it. It's just a piece of writing stating what the HAFT is and i used another name for the MWT that could have been used before the MWT was set up. You don't think they wouldn't have had a Technology branch of the military?
The "Army Board of Engineering" is the thing i choose as the predecessor to the MWT.
The Article was probably from the end of the war and made by the MWT but they still referred back to the other Branch.
Also with name.
I find Pony names a difficult subject. I don't like pony name.
All pony names seem to relate to their cutie marks, but how do they get named after their cutie marks when their cutie marks don't appear until later in life?
Applejack for example might have been made into a Orange farmer for the show and they would have called her Orangejack?
Carrot top has Carrots for a cutie mark.
Bon-bon has sweets. (bon-bon being another name for sweets)
Lyra has a lyra... i mean what would the chance be that when you name your kid their cutie mark is related?
Also some ponies have human names in the show.
cheerilee is just a unique spelling of Sheralee.
Anyway. Thanks for your input. I'm going to try and stick with tradition and make the names pony related but after a while it's hard to find pony names with out getting to close to other pony names.
@T SGT Muffin. Might i suggest writing as many pony names and matching oddball cutiemarks as you can think off?
ReplyDeleteor maybe invent cutiemarks and then put pony names on them?
It will help you later on when making entire platoons.
Makes sense that the ponies in the war do not have optimised talents or adequate cutiemarks for the war though i still cant believe the commander is such a massive prick :<.
@t Venompepsi. Im a very nitpicky brony so some where unfortunately skipped. heres hoping for more updates.
@Damhoof
ReplyDeleteThe Idea for the Massive Prick actually came from my Cadet experiences.
I had a Lieutenant who is now a Captain who came from the Regular army after getting kicked out. He always goes on about being this really tough guy who know what he is doing and all the other Cadet officers that have a military background just laugh at him.
It turns out he was a Driver that got kicked out for being rude to an officer.
Also with the Pegasus thing. I'm taking it thee is a 1:3 ratio of Pegasus to other Ponies and if all the Pegasus went into Special Force rolls then that's a lot of Special Forces... It's just not very feasible. So while there are the Special Force Pegasus under RBD and the Ministry of Awesome, I am sure that Pegasus also fought in the normal army.
He is also a stuck up prick... the Captain.
ReplyDeleteWill tell you off for having a balaclava on even though it is -2C at night.
Thought it would be fun to drop our packs 5km from where they were supposed to be and get the activity canceled.
Tells other officers what to do even though some of the officers spent 30years in infantry and earnt the rank of Captain from being a Private.
Speaking to Sergeant Muffin: When I did the whole naming thing myself, I always thought that maybe ponies had other names; and then later when they got their cutie mark, it turned into more of a nickname. So someone's name might be applebloom, and let us say she gets a flower for a cutiemark, they might call her appleblossom instead, because she's still apple family, who knows?
ReplyDelete@LiquidSquallz
ReplyDeleteIt makes sense. Look at Pinky Pie, she took that name after her cutie mark came.
@Erthilo
ReplyDeleteMost of the current ones wont get past prereaders in their current state.
I would wish they had DA profiles. Wouldnt have to sit here and wait.
@Damnfool Brony
ReplyDeleteThanks for responding, DamnFool. (I always feel like I'm insulting you when I say your name, curse internet monikors!)
To be honest, on re-reading my own comment...I'm not sure what I meant by Point 1 either now! Clearly I must have been up too late when I wrote it.
I believe I shall indeed re-read it and have a hunt for these hints. I always like subtle clue ins towards various things. And I will certainly keep an eye out for any Chapter 3 shouts.
When we say "avid reader", I think we ARE meaning both FO:E and KEG, by the by. So accept the praise. :p
That side story that was seperated updates to fast. If something updates too fast i find i can't read it. FO:E has a good update rate.
ReplyDelete@Damnfool Brony
ReplyDeleteAnother point:
I can understand that he might be brighter than others his age, that the wasteland forces kids to grow up faster than one would like and that he has read most of what Redeye has had to offer.
"Unfortunately, that’s not how the brain of a young stallion works."
You don't need to tell us that. Rather than becoming an omnipotent storyteller just sink to his level.
Makes for a better read.
The balefire thing. You actually have him point at something he has never seen before and almost instantly have him figure out what it was on top of having him guess the amount.
When all you needed was to have that nice book reference at hand.
Most of the time when it comes to those things. Less is more than adequate.
Just show his mind at work in the way he interacts with people and items he can actually take the time to inspect.
@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDeleteJust save it for later. Makes for a longer read.
Reply time!
ReplyDeleteGlad you’re taking an interest.
@ Fuzzy
1) The nickname is self-deprecatory, so don’t. If I’m poking fun at me, you can poke fun at me.
2) Alright then. I’ll take your word for it.
3) Good to hear!
4) Heh. Thanks!
~
@ Damhoof (in order of points made since my last reply.)
1) Red Eye probably did use the parents of the foals in the indoctrination process. Haven’t really fleshed-out precisely how he does it, though. Maybe it’s best I don’t. However, the thing that Lucky’s referring to, the removal of his cutie-mark, I envisioned as a final “trial by fire” that Red Eye uses to find the most loyal to the cause; the culmination of the first wave of brainwashing. Fortunately for Lucky, Red Eye didn’t get either of his parents.
2) I suspect a mix of both slavery and willing subjugation occurred. Probably a result of Red Eye’s propaganda broadcasts. Ponies do crazy things when they think it’ll improve the lives of their children. Lucky, however, was enslaved.
3) Heh.
4) Since you skipped a number, this is a response to “5”. When I first read this, I wasn’t really quite sure what you meant. However, in light of your second comment, the point you’re making is actually very clear and your observations astute. I get what you’re saying with ‘less is more’ and I’ll definitely keep it in mind. Alas, sometimes I treat this as an exercise in word volume. It is something I hope to correct.
5) The first section about cutting down on the balefire bit (as in: “Brevity can be more powerful than loquaciousness.”) and narrating more from the perspective of Lucky as opposed to that of a semi-meta ‘Author’ I’ll take to heart. However, it was the latter part of the comment that I wanted to really get into. Now that I look at it, I think the book excerpt probably would’ve gotten its message along quite nicely all by its lonesome. However, it’s a little complicated in my head. While him remembering that bit about balefire was actually very Wesley (Ugh!) of him, I did it as a character choice. Since I wanted to exhibit Lucky’s propensity for learning from books, what better way than for him to apply it in a stressful situation? There’s also the dimension of balefire being analogous to nuclear weaponry in our universe. As such, its discovery and effects would probably get quite a bit of coverage from the good old Equestrian Associated Press and be featured extensively in the Codex Equestria. Like in our universe, it would permeate the culture, soaking into both academic and entertainment writing... or perhaps not. Balefire might have just been a particularly powerful fire spell and warranted no particular merit at all. Hard to tell with all this pony-think, human-think and Fallout-think in the way.
I do think, though, that Lucky would have a vested interest in what made the Equestrian Wasteland what it is today.
Anyway, my point is that I was making a point with Lucky’s remembering of Balefire and, at the same time, trying to imply that it was plausible for him to recall something like that as especially important. I’m glad that you noticed it and pointed it out though. You seem to be able to point-out precisely where my storytelling is weak!
Huh.
You know, I’m running a pre-reader down. One of the guys who keeps KEG from degenerating into a gibbering mass of bad grammar, terrible pony puns and ill-conceived wish fulfilment just sort-of up and left a couple weeks ago and I’ve been looking for someone to take-up his empty spot.
Care to join us, Damhoof?
([email protected])
~
That’s all, fillies and gentlecolts.
Type to you later.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo... Bit quiet in here. Anyone done any new chapters or need proofreaders at all?
ReplyDelete@Erthilo
ReplyDeleteI submitted a new story actually, and am still waiting for it to be posted. Hopefully not to long.
@Erthilo
ReplyDeleteYeah, this seems to have died. But, on a brighter note Somber's fic appears to be doing good. I haven't read any myself, yet I really think I should.
I've finished my next chapter, but I'm not proud of it, so it'll need a 'lot' of edits until it's presentable.
I got two in waiting for update.
ReplyDeleteI also went in and changed the name of the Main and one other pony in the First Chapter because i have come to hate the nonponyness of them... they have just kept last names instead, they were pony like.
ReplyDeleteif i wanted to write a FoE side-story/spinoff, would i need Kkat's permission?
ReplyDelete@sbm1992
ReplyDeleteKkat gave her express permission that anyone could write a FoE spinoff, under the caveat that they are in no way canon to the actual FoE.
Thought to what length some of these count as 'spin-offs' is somewhat debatable.
Welp, Sethisto's told me that he'll be putting my new story up whenever he gets around to updating this page...but in the meantime, it's rating at 4.5 stars on FiMFiction! ...granted, that's with like, TWO votes...and no, neither of those are mine <^<
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/679/Fallout-Equestria%3A-New-Pegas
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E44rC7VK5m3yMCPA-TKsYgm-5xSdO3A30PdMQokEMZ8/edit?pli=1
@Calbeck
ReplyDeleteDude, I had like the exact same idea for the Earth Pony racial trait. I wasn't gonna restrict the extra tag skill to Repair, but that seems like it would help with balancing.
Oh, can I post a link to my story to if it is going to be a while to update? on FIM Fiction too. Five stars :3 (lol it has one vote)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/662/Fallout-Equestria%3A-Heroes
@No One
ReplyDeleteWow, that's impressive. I really liked it; the characters, the conflict, the narration.
Problem is, there are a lot of errors. Mostly homonyms, but when the doctor is explaining how she got to the clinic, there's like a sentence and a half that's just missing.
Do you want a pre-reader or an editor?
@theBSDude
ReplyDeleteI went with the idea that Earth Ponies are stronger, have more endurance, and possess more technical savvy overall, but balanced that against them not being able to do any of the high-magic perks like TK that KKat presented.
Magical abilities remain available as rare quest perks, though. And FWIW, I intend to do the entire New Vegas story arc (as the list of DLCs should indicate). As a result, Dead-Shot's max level is actually 50(!), so the end-story is planned to be pretty epic.
@theBSDude
ReplyDeleteHonestly yes. As you can see I suck at editing my own work (because in my head I already know what it is I am saying) but I don't really know anyone else who is a writing and reads FOE.
Would you be able to assist me? Please? I'll give you a cookie.
Also I totally just saw that missing sentence. It's not there in my openoffice document but is there in FIMFiction. Must have accidently deleted trying to format it correct. weird.
ReplyDelete@No One
ReplyDeleteSure thing, man. I'll look through it as soon as I get off work this afternoon. How can I reach you? My email is just my Blogger name @gmail.com
Sweet. You're awesome. I'll shoot you an email. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteSeth said fortnightly updates... how long has it been?
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure it's been more then two weeks. Or at least very close to it.
ReplyDelete@No One
ReplyDeleteHonestly, feels like about a month to me.
So much fanfic..... Y u no let me study EqD?
ReplyDeleteAnd then I didn't submit in time to catch the update post. Again.
ReplyDeleteOh well, at least there's plenty to read, though I'm surprised about the lack of updates to the existing stories.
@Erthilo
ReplyDeleteLooks like most of them died out.
I think Seth needs to put the most recently updated at the top of the page.
Anyway, I posted mine so i guess i shall read the other new ones too.
Just read Heroes.
ReplyDeleteThe story was good. The setting was good. The information about setting, place, ponies and other things was good, but... It was written in a very start-stop manner. It didn't flow like a story should.
Anyway that's my two cents. Sorry i can;t be more descriptive.
I hope no one wastes their time reading my story... I'm not a writer anymore. I'm a Gmod OC pony reskinner and the first person to reskin the GMOD ponies after OC's
ReplyDeletedamnit, stop updating so much! at this rate i'll never catch up on reading!
ReplyDeletejk, keep it up
Now when in the hay am I going to find time to read all these?
ReplyDeleteYaaaaay! -:D
ReplyDelete@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDeleteI agree entirely. It would help the ones that consistently update to get the notice that they deserve for the effort they put in as well.
@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDeleteHummm. I wrote heroes and I appreciate the feedback, though I am not sure I understand what you mean. Would it be possible to explain what you mean when you say it does flow?
Like does one scene not flow to the next properly, or does the narrative make it hard to keep in the mood of story via jilting or awkard phrasing?
Any feedback would be a great help ^_^
On Big Smoke: very well put together and, so far, pretty darn compelling. However, as I saw the error twice, I have to correct it as a glaring one: CORPORALS are not COLONELS. -:D
ReplyDeleteA corporal is the lowest-ranking non-commissioned officer there is, the guy who usually gets the dirty work of supervising privates when the sergeant can't or won't.
A colonel is the rank layer just below general, usually commanding an entire battalion or regiment. The Enclave in Fallout 3 were commanded by Colonel Autumn, to give a little perspective. -;)
@No One
ReplyDeleteThe scenes change way to fast to have flow. Things suddenly happen without much build up to them.
Put in some kind of marker to a time gap like:
*** *** ***
That would help tell us where one scene ends and another begins.
During action events try to explain and draw them out more.
Instead of just saying "I smashed his head in" Explain what happens. Is there a run towards the target, a spin, maybe she notices something on the pony, a facial expression or a twitch.
Explain where she is going in more detail. She jumps into a room, explain that it is a dark store room lined with boxes of food/ammo/fluffy toys.
Even though it is first person you can still explain things she does not see. You can explain that the bullet hit her where ever, you can explain that his body fell and shattered at the bottom.
That is about all i can remember that i had problems with... then again i am no Pro so if you want to continue the way you are going then it is your choice.
Hmmm. I understand what you are saying. I will work on adding more description in further chapters. I was trying to play up her lack of perception which causes trouble, but from a reading standpoint I understand. I will do my best in further chapters to improve on it.
ReplyDeleteOH. Hah. I just realized. I DID have time markers (-----) but when i put them in open ofice is made it into a flat line across the page. When copy-pastaing into Google docs the time breaks completely vanished! I just realized this now! I'm an idiot. I am going to add them right now, thank you so much for bringing that to my attention.
I hate not being able to edit these posts. So many spelling errors, sorry.
ReplyDelete@Roy Calbeck
ReplyDeleteYour story was great. Now i never really liked the New Vegas setting of Fallout but that was awesome!
The Story was great, you took the original idea and made it fit so well with your character.
You explained everything in such good detail, the setting, ponies and Pipbuck. You had a solid idea of what you were doing and it worked so well.
Your dialog was also superb. I don't think i have seen better.
I also like how your character is not a goody goody lets all save the poor ponies type of guy that is always so cliche in stories i have read.
The only problem i have is the gun sound... i have never heard a gun that goes pop.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFO:E Stalliongrad part 4.
ReplyDeleteWish the chapter was longer. Or should I say, the lack of new elements introduced make the chapter bland? Generally speaking it would be nice with some progress per chapter.
I would like to say that the conflict presented while interesting because of the fact that Drunk Blade is considerably random and fun lethal addition I just wish the chapter was longer so some significant development or event could happen.
FO:E Before the end: Part 2-3 :
I don't rightly know how to react when reading your story. I would say the pace is so fast I tend to get confused halfway. That the names are many and while it sounds good the Main character himself is very impersonal to me. I had assumed you started lowly ranked so you could play it more like Star wars A new hope. With a protagonist that helps get things explained and nicely tucked into my head.
But what is written plays like Phantom menace, the story even has an implied Darth maul in it. You now intend to escalate by bringing in Steel rangers? The protagonist has yet to state his haves and wants while fighting for causes we don't rightly know etc.
Don't get me wrong. The action scenes and interacting with the troops are nicely described easy to figure out. I'm talking about the doctor, the barely mentioned officer gathering. Some more personal touches would be nice.
FO:E Heroes : Part 1 :
ReplyDeleteNice, my only issue is you used stable 42 as something less than the answer to everything. It was not a huge macguffin and the concept behind a poison star metal bullet sounded ridiculous in my ears. But everything else was nice. I would not fault you for making it a oneshot but you had something here that could have turned into more than that. xD
FO:E Big Smoke:Part1 :
If anything it is a good intro. Suffers from wanting to make interesting things happen when nothing has really happened yet except getting drunk and stabbed with sedatives. T_T
The way i see it unless you wanted to introduce those mares you could have skipped the entire thing and started with the mission, then revealed some flashbacks to brief people trough the few nice parts. So long as chapter 2-3 are great then chapter one being nice is perfectly fine.
FO:E New Pegas:Part1 / 2
The chapters are short, the protagonist is more than capable but he deviates enough that it can hook readers in regardless. Dont rightly know what to say other than. Please write more.
@Damhoof
ReplyDeleteAaaactually. I am continuing the story, though in a different area what with her being banished from Marefort and all. You can find the updated story in FIM Fiction, and I'll add a link to google docs once my editor finishes the chapter (theBSDude is a cool guy)
I couldn't help with Stable 42...it just had to be done, you know? hehehe. As for Starmetal, Kkat never really elaborate more on that (I hope she doesn't for my storys sake xD)but we know it's feared, and dangerous so I made it posionus too, cause it works in the long run.
I ramble too much sorry.
@Damhoof
ReplyDeleteI don't quite understand what you are trying to explain.
He doesn't start low ranked, he was a Lieutenant and now is a Captain. Those are both pretty high ranks, combat wise they are the highest you can go before being moved to a paper pushing job.
I had no intentions to bring steel rangers into this until a lot later and they would not be a main focus, they would be brief appearances during battles like the ShadowBolts.
I know that there are a lot of names to toss around in your head and getting them all in the right order is hard, but the reason there are so many unnamed ponies is because it is first person and Blackfeather doesn't know all of them.
It also goes along as the main protagonist has no haves or wants because he is exactly that. He has been drafted into a military to fight. He is not mine figure in the war and doesn't rightly know what he is doing there. He has been strapped into a roller coaster and has to wait till it finishes to get off.
I plan to get into a more personnel level with the characters as the story progresses (slowly because school has started again). I didn't want to just create a random scene with him explaining his background/cutie mark to ponies he has fought besides for over a year... you wouldn't do that. If there was somepony he met and had a chance to sit down and talk with then i can bring out more about him on a personnel level, and i plan to do that.
Thanks for the read though. I will take those point into consideration and next time please don't use Star War references... i never liked star wars.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGrrrr...I wanted to delete those two posts and combine them into one in order to save page space...>^<
ReplyDelete@Sgt Muffin
Thanks for the comments!
Strangely enough, though, low-caliber weapons such as the .38 actually do go "POP"...a short, sharp noise. Heck, even when I trained on the M-16 in boot camp, it sounded like "pop-pop-pop" to me. Similarly, the varmint rifle (which is what D-S has right now) makes what sounds like "pop" to me, in the game. So that's what I'm going with. -:3
@Damhoof
I was actually shooting for chapter length based on the EqD submission guides, which suggest about 4k words for the intro and following chapters of around 3k. But I don't really have much problem with extending things a bit, so I might be expanding further chapters to 4k-5k.
@Calbeck
ReplyDeleteI have a .38 revolver. It does not go pop.
And my .223/5.56 doesn't go pop either. In game it does and if your going by the game then okay.
@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDeleteI decided to go and check some firearms videos, since my memory of firing .38 and the M16 is very old, and I find myself chagrined to admit you're entirely correct. Both sounds are sharper than a "pop" sound effect would allow for.
The varmint rifle in-game DOES go "pop", as you mention, and it's my understanding that it's supposed to fire a .38 round. My apologies for confusing the game with my dimly-remembered real life experiences. -:)
Chapter Three, up! Just use the one link above; it goes to the main story page and all chapters are available from there.
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of you are enjoying this series bits and pieces at a time but I was wondering if there could be a way to not write the stories in little parts but wait until you have a complete story and release it all at once. Secondly I really want to know if more audiobook versions are being worked on. Thirdly I want to know if it would at all be possible to collect all the stories into one massive Fallout Equestria eBook that is fully indexed and chaptered so kindle, nook and iPad users can easily flip to a certain story and bookmark their place. Lastly, when are all you Fallout Equestria authors going to band together and petition the makers of Fallout and Hasbro to allow actual publication of your respected works in hardcover? I would be willing to pay the $30 price tag for such a book with proper cover art and art scenes within said story. If you wish to band together let me know and I'll try to set something in motion. It pains me greatly as a writer to see such talented authors make works of such beauty and never get a proper hardcover copy of their work to show to their friends and family. If worse comes to worse we can always do a secret publication of hardcovers for mega fans of the series using a POD service like LuLu or something, but I'd rather a real publisher buy your work and sell it in Barns 'n Noble. Such an act would make MLP fan fic a legitimate genre onto itself and once that happens you'll see none bronies start to pick up on these stories and spread the love of MLP farther than we ever dreamed.
ReplyDeleteYour friend,
Daisy Azuras
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteUmmmm... What?
ReplyDeleteThe chapter at a time thing is what everyone does so they can get feed back on how well they are writing. If we just went and published the whole thing then we might not get as many followers (although i am not sure how many we get at the moment)
Audio books are hard work. Scorch Mechanic is doing Kkat's because he wants to but he is not going to do any others.
I would like to see a Fallout Equestria Ebook with all the side stories but lots of them don't get finished and more are added every month.
There is no way to get a hard copy book published. Hasbro would say no and Bethesda would definitely say no.
Bethesda has turned down loads of Fallout books.
@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDeleteEyup, soz for the late reply.
What im trying to say is for a first person story its a tad impersonal and narrates rather than tells.
In other words there are very few Why`s in this story to keep things interesting and hook readers along.
Well, he had haves and wants before getting reqruited and when i told you i wanted some exposition regarding his past i never meant some silly narrative ;p
I meant flasbacks or sending / being sent a letter. The nice mushy stuff that gets the audience caring about the protagonist.
Without that it is just a dude fighting. The audience might relate to it but most of the time the deeper emotions stay buried or atleast that is how i felt while reading.
Sorry if its not that much help. Im so bad at this.
Why are all unavailable so attractive?
ReplyDeleteThe only story that I now desire to read - it's "In Celestia's Care"
But after week after week - it remains unaccessible.
@Damhoof Oh okay. I get what your going for now.
ReplyDeleteI am planning to get into a more personnel set of details when it becomes appropriate.
Because it is first person and because he has spent time with these other ponies I think (from my stand point) that he would have spoken to the all before about his past and other things on that topic, like comrades in arms do, so I am finding the right time to bring up all his past and the other ponies pasts so it wont just... pop up.
I hate to say it, but "In Celestia's Care" just looks like a dead story, and in all honesty the poor grammar, spelling and style in the hook blurb does not give me confidence that it will be any good once it IS unlocked (if ever).
ReplyDeleteRight off the bat, "his Supposed dead Gf" crams improper capitalization, lazily incorrect abbreviation, and a spoiler all into the space of four words.
I'd like to see the ongoing stories kept here, but the dead or stillborn tales moved to an "archive" post, so readers looking for more FO:E goodness don't have to dig through such a mess.
@Calbeck
ReplyDeleteI disagree. it is fine as it is.
Authors are simply updating at a different pace from each other. Slowness is by no means reasonable excuses to archive "dead" stories.
I'm going to have to agree with Damhoof on that one. I haven't posted a second chapter to "Kiss Equestria Goodbye" for who knows how many weeks, but I'm still working on it. Just because an author's slow doesn't mean they've given up.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a Gdocs archive for all of the stories might be more easily navigated and kept up to date than this long, oft ignored mess of a post.
Hmm.
Maybe I'll write Seth something about that, because this thing's getting pretty long.
@Damnfool Brony
ReplyDeleteLike the TCB Gdoc right?
If so then I can totally take care of that, if there's one thing I'm good at it's lists!
The recently updated ones should be up the top and the ones that haven't been will slowly go to the bottom.
ReplyDeleteThat way we can easily find the new updates.
Hey Damhoof, can i get an email or other contact address? I want to talk to you on a more private level.
ReplyDelete@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDelete[email protected] is my msn ;p
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo I just wrote a FO:E fanfic and due to massive oversight I've already sent it in, if anyone would be willing to do some last second editing please send an email to the address on my blogger profile.
ReplyDeleteChapter Five of New Pegas, up!
ReplyDeleteIn which our Dashing Hero learns something about family. D'aww.
No, really, he actually does. Plus a little about baseball.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/679/5/Fallout-Equestria:-New-Pegas/Chapter-5:-Dance-Hall-Daze
@Damhoof
ReplyDeleteI agree, except that my specific example is a story that hasn't even released its first chapter. It's not merely "dead", it's actually stillborn.
I don't mind authors that update slowly, either. My only concern is for those who don't seem to update at all.
This just in!
ReplyDeleteChapter 2 of Heroes is now up, you can find it by clicking that handy link up top and scrolling down to the bottom where I put an index to all current chapters. Else, you can find it on fimfiction.
Or you can wait until this post gets updated.
The choice is yours!
~No One~
Finally posted up Chapter 1 of New Neighgas and sent it in, although as this post hasn't updated in a while, you can reach it by clicking the hyperlink at the bottom of the Prologue. I should probably get round to posting it up on fimfiction as well...
ReplyDeleteHi, I was speaking with anonymous samurai, a reviewer of ponychan and we were thinking about making a post on /fic/ dedicated to FoE side stories, but we need to know if there are enough to sustain it, would you be interested?
ReplyDeleteMimezinga
Yeah, I guess I'd be up for that, kinda like the TCB post right?
ReplyDeleteMeh. Why not? I've never been on ponychan before, so I better get browsing.
ReplyDeleteyes, the idea was exactly that one: create a post with the same format as the conversion bureau, trying to create some sort of workshop since the FoE at this point could almost be considered a sub-genre
ReplyDeletemimezinga
Sure why not.
ReplyDelete@mimezinga
ReplyDeleteThat would be awesome.
@mimezinga
ReplyDeleteYou have my full support.
okay, Anon Samurai is already working on a small document with the format of the post but hee'd like to have a talk with the various authors before starting it, just to take some common decisions, i guess.
ReplyDeletethe link to the doc is this one
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit?hl=en_US
any day after monday should do, not sure of the time, i'll comunicate something as soon as i know something more
mimezinga
okay, i have a time for a reunion just to decide if the FoE side stories workshop is feasible on Ponychan.
ReplyDeletein 6 hours and an half since the post of this message Anon Samurai will be there, if you can show up it should be fine, i mean, if you're okay with that...
have a link
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit?hl=en_US#
bai
Mime
Hi there, the GDoc with the story archive that will be used as a reference on the /pony/ post for FoE Sdie Stories is under creation, for everypony that wants to join, it's easy: here's the link
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit#
If you send your email to
[email protected]
[email protected]
you will be added to the list of the authors, giving you the possibility to edit the document and inserting the story title, synopsis and links to it
obviously this is not limited to the authors, any reviewer/pre-reader/editor/curious pony that wants to join will be welcome
Mimezinga
I'm a bit weary about giving out my email...
ReplyDelete@Sgt Muffin
ReplyDeleteJust head to the document and everything will be explained.. ;/
The names Fillyosopher, and I've begun to add these short stories to the Fallout: Equestria wikia. please fell free to check my work on your story, as most should be done the Oct 28th!
ReplyDeleteAlso, to anyone who thinks this is just a fanfic of a fanfic, i would note that the original Fallout: Equestria is currently >500,000 words. That is to say, it is longer than the Lord of the Rings trilogy (~470,000). And its getting longer. The FO:E wiki is almost the size of the MLP wiki! Would you laugh at someone writing fanfics off of a classic like LotR? please be understanding...
Pink eyes is breaking rules at 9:00 AM Pacific! yay~
ReplyDelete@Sethisto
ReplyDeleteNopony deserves it more.
Holy guacamole. I've just finished what there is of FO:E, just started reading Project Horizons and now there's all of THIS!? Goodbye spare time, you will be sorely missed.
ReplyDeleteEr 11:00 that is!
ReplyDeleteGet it right Seth.
ReplyDeleteNuts. Mine didn't make it.
ReplyDeleteIgnore Come Raining Down. That stories been abandoned, destroyed, etc. Should probably email Seth to have it removed, but yeah that link won't be leading anywhere.
ReplyDelete@Timber
ReplyDeletedon't worry, maybe you submitted the story too late for the post, make sure it has been recieved and join the ponychan group, so untill the post updates you'll have a place where to discuss it
this is the link to the post on pony
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/58852.html
and this is the link of the GDocs document with the story archive
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit#
ask to be added by an author and you'll be able to add your story into the archive and participate with the project
mimezinga
Woah. That's a LOT of FOE stuff.
ReplyDeleteSo how come this story doesn't have to go through pre readers and everything else does? Is it because it is popular?
ReplyDeleteI dunno about you guys, but the title picture reminds me more of the Hunger Games than Fallout. I think it's the mockingjay cutie mark.
ReplyDelete@Noratcat: Kkat opened up the world as a sandbox. Anyone can make a story in the FO:E universe. Any side fics which have shown a serious commitment from their authors and received critical acclaim (and most importantly permission from Kkat) get their own posts, which get pre-read like a regular story. So far the only one to do this is Project Horizons, although it looks like Pink Eyes is about to get the same treatment.
ReplyDelete...whoa.
ReplyDeleteSo why did it take sooooo long for this post to finally get updated?
ReplyDelete@Suroguner
ReplyDeletewell we have our own google doc now and most of us post on fimfic so if you want or are especially interested then there is a way to get updated faster ;p
I have to be honest, most of the stories I have read on this are below average, the side effect of not having any per-readers look through them.
ReplyDeleteHeroes on the other hand is darn good and I want to see more of it. Congratulations No One.
@TheMagister: Hi. I'm No One. I justed wanted to thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I'm glad you enjoyed my story I will try my very hardest to keep making chapters enjoyable. Also better.
ReplyDeleteIn that vein If there was anything you didn't like or thought was odd please tell me so I can address it, and fix it for the future.
Thanks. ~No One~
hey guys I'm working on my own fallout story too. I'm not expecting much because its more of a test run. That dosn't mean I won't try my best at it or not finish it. It isn't my first story but it is the first i decided to share with more then just friends and family. I know how that works though. they'll say good things about it regaurdless if it was good or not. I've been writing for 3 years now and improved alot especially within the past few months. I started getting better after my attempt at making a sequal to creeping darkness. I started setting goals for myself with that one. With that I tought myself how to write better discriptions and making chapters longer. Then I started my first fallout fanfic. I could definatly see my improvments as i wrote that and after 60 pages and 2 and a half chapters i decided to redo it. I completly redid the plot, time period, and some charecters. After a little while on that I decided to redo it again and bring back one of my favorite charecters from the first one. Right now the charecters are Ruby(main charecter) who is not shy but very quiet. She mostly deals with problems internally. Popcorn(based on Suprise)who is very happy despite her bad family and is Ruby's best friend. And lastly Wanderer. He is an experienced wastelander who is obsessed with anything to do with Stables. His armor is even an armored Stable 101 jumpsuit.
ReplyDeleteSo the premise is Ruby and Popcorn leaving Stable 18 to find Ruby's father. I'm not going to go to into detail with the plot but I just wanted to see if anyone would be interested. I know the who Stable Dweller leaving the Stable is overused but it still beat my many other ideas not involving the Stable situation. I want critisism on this to improve my writing so when I release my story in a day are two i ask you read and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading :)
If anyone's reading "Stormfront", I'd ask that you hold off. I was halfway through revisions when somebody posted it, so it's nowhere near finished. Sorry. I'll try to have it done by tonight.
ReplyDeleteIt has come to my attention I accidently borked the Gdocs to my prologue earlier this week. I'm sorry. Its fixed now.
ReplyDeleteHNNNG.
ReplyDeleteRevisions complete. Read away.
Gawd I'm so slow it's sad.
So many Side stories, so much unfinished wiki content! GGAAHHH!!!! (<- this except 20 times longer and twice as loud)
ReplyDeleteYeah, so I'm working on a Sidestory, but right now I'm bogged down in
A) schoolwork
B) Wikiediting
C) all of these side story shorts to my side story, which has almost zero plot because they DAMN MUSES WON'T SHUDDUP!
So yeah... anyone feel like making a list of well thought out perks and posting it to the wiki. cause I don't have the time, and I REALLY need the reference to have some Idea of how character level ups should progress.
-Fillyosopher
Well... I can say with certainty that you didn't get ALL of the fics in this update.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone wants an imagemap'd version of the Winter Wonderland picture, complete with links to each story, Here You Go.
ReplyDelete@Masquerade
ReplyDeleteWhich ones are missing?
@Arcane Scroll
ReplyDeleteQuite a few, actually. Sadly, mobile is being a pain with url copy/pasting at the moment. Google "Fallout Equestria Side Story Compilation", and it should take you to a Google Document where all of the stories are updated.
you mean this one?
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1
We at the Protodoc are currently going through to compile a list of stories that weren't updated.
@No One
ReplyDeleteI've been meaning to go through that and add any stories missing from my sight. I think I'll do that tomorrow. I just noticed I forgot to add the link to the document, I'll fix that tomorrow too.
@Masquerade
There are actually a lot more side stories then listed. I don't think there are any 100% complete lists out there yet. There are just too many side stories out there and more are appearing all the time.
Good gravy that's a lot of characters there
ReplyDeleteNot to mention lots of MISSING characters (I can't see my favorite pony from that pic).
I'd read these side stories one day, if it wasn't that I'm not even HALFWAY over the original FoE (I'm still at Chapter 20)...
:O woah!.. dude that's a lot of comments
ReplyDelete@Arcane Scroll
ReplyDeleteYay. Ty.Ty.Ty ;D
Glad to see everyone likes the picture.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of Fallout :O
ReplyDeleteI Find it funny that my character is in the picture but my story isnt in the list. Go figure, Seth.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you're going to try and fix it, Arcane Scroll. Thanks much for that.
ReplyDeleteHoly waka moley That's a lot of pony :O
ReplyDeleteI am still in awe of how good this is. Unfortunately, I will not publish any of my writings until it can stand next to this (which may be never).
ReplyDelete@AskMe
ReplyDeleteWell, my side-fic is my first attempt at writing and I've heard its good, so I'm sure you're fic will be a good read!
@AskMe You won't get your story anywhere with that mentality, my friend. Be unwavering! Show no fear and publish away!
ReplyDelete@AskMe
ReplyDeleteWhat did you say? That you would visit us and write a fic? HOW NICE ;:D I can't wait to read your story. ^_^
And this is the support that keeps me around.
ReplyDeleteWill I finish The Oddity: Part 3 in time for the next update?
ReplyDeleteI hope so.
Damn son. I never knew there were so many FO:E side stories.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I've got some reading to do :3
*Skims the side stories and blinks*
ReplyDeleteWell crap...
*tosses his first draft at a fanfic then looks through list again and blinks*
BAH! Oh well, damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!!
If I keep restarting mine cause someone else beat me to the punch, or has one close to it, I'll never actually get one done. So...screw it. I'm gonna finish something!
*blinks and see's updates for stories he is reading*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
hey does anyone know what happened to To be a hero? i've finally gooten a chance to readit but it's saying ot doesn't exsist :(
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong to ask for feedback here? I'm Ten Mihara and I wrote the Ditzy Doo Chronicles. Feedback facilitates improvement to writing skills, so if you read it, please let me know what you think ^^
ReplyDelete@Jordan
ReplyDeleteFeedback is always good, always welcome. I've already added your stories to me read list, they look interesting.
i'd like to post a sidestory, but don't know how to. hints?
ReplyDelete@Kerlc I suggest either Google Documents or fimfiction.net.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, have this:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit?hl=en_US#
That's one place to get started if you're looking for support. It's the side-stories compilation document, where a lot of side-story authors (myself and several others here included) archive their fics.
It finally got updated! Yay!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEr... pardon the dumb question for a moment but where may one ask for opinion on a fan fiction idea of their own? I don't know if the comment section would be appropriate, although it is a Fallout Equestria idea...
ReplyDelete@Killaba
ReplyDeleteBest place I can think of would be here.
http://forum.fallout-equestria.com/viewforum.php?f=20
It may take a few hours for your account to be approved, but there is a marvelous community including Kkat, Somber and Mimezinga.
@Kashin
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. Now lets see if my idea actually has some merit...
I'm starting to think that posting to FiM:Fiction was a mistake, as the "all links" section for New Pegas never has to be updated as a result.
ReplyDelete...granted, I need to get off my butt and get back to updating MYSELF --- 30k words has only scratched the tale's surface... -:/
I might ask Seth to update the Fallout Section because he is busy and forgets about us.
ReplyDelete@Calbeck
ReplyDeleteUpdates to any Fallout: Equestria story can also be sent to the Fallout: Equestria Resource, there's a "Submit Media" link at the top of the page that can be used for it. I update the site within 24 hours, usually much faster.
Just read Heroes. Its pretty awesome, especially with the character's moral ambiguity and managing to get themselves working for pretty much everyone at once.
ReplyDeleteIs this the appropritate place to leave feedback for heroes?
@Hawkeye92: Feel free to leave all the feedback you want here, or at my fimfiction page here:
ReplyDeletehttp://poni.0au.de/story/662/Fallout-Equestria%3A-Heroes
Thank you very much for your comments ^_^
Well, i for one, will read it.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet another fanfic appears!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, my fanfic is entitled Fallout: Equestria - Black Dawn.
It's the first thing I've ever written, high school English class research papers don't count. I submitted it here, but I'm dieing for feedback.
So far my comments section on Fimfiction consists of a conversation between myself and one other brony lol.
So, here it is: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6446/Fallout%3A-Equestria---Black-Dawn
Have a read and let me know what you think. I know for a fact that my writing skills are not amazing, merely adequate, but I want to improve!
I've seen some brutally honest reviews in this thread and others, and that is EXACTLY what I want. So please, if you have the time (I'm only 2 chapters in and have managed almost 19k words) give it a read and let me know what you think.
New Pegas, Chapter 5: up! Reorganized the existing chapters into larger, more discrete sections, up past the 40k-word mark now.
ReplyDeleteAs always, all FO:E-NP chapters can be found here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/679/Fallout-Equestria%3A-New-Pegas
@Paul
ReplyDeleteActually I tried forgotten light but the grammar and lack of emotion in it made me stop. With a proofreader i will start again. My other problem with it is that the writing is to impersional. It always seams like it was "I found 8 bullets but when i saw the next enemy I fired 6 leaving me with only 2. I would try less numbers and data and more emotion. But the main character is great.
@Paul
ReplyDeleteActually I tried forgotten light but the grammar and lack of emotion in it made me stop. With a proofreader i will start again. My other problem with it is that the writing is to impersional. It always seams like it was "I found 8 bullets but when i saw the next enemy I fired 6 leaving me with only 2. I would try less numbers and data and more emotion. But the main character is great.
Tales of a courier best side story. Well-written. Hobo go on pls)
ReplyDeleteNew Pegas, Chapter 6, up!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/679/6/Fallout-Equestria%3A-New-Pegas/Chapter-6%3A-%26quot%3BWhy-Don%27t-You-Do-Right%3F%26quot%3B
(sigh) war, war never changes
ReplyDeleteY'all should read Murky Number Seven, it's a decent story 'bout a colt born into slavery in Fillydelphia, and his escape
ReplyDeleteAnypony wanted to see a human Marine in Fallout Equestria? No? Well I wrote it anyway:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/20055/Fallout-Equestria%3A-Rules-of-Engagement
So when i write an FoE fanfic, I just submit it here and wait for Kkat approval? Or is there another way of contacting Kkat for pernmission to post here?
ReplyDeleteI have read Fallout equestria and all that is out of fallout equestria: prjocet horizon. anyone got one they will recomend? i want more to read, but reading thu them all is just WAY to much for me :P so any recomends and don'ts?
ReplyDelete@Joachim Krossvoll
ReplyDeleteFallout Equestria: Heroes (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/662/Fallout-Equestria:-Heroes) is another big one.
Here is my lengthy and spoiler-heavy comment on Murky Number Seven story up to chapter 15:
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/11u6f5riEkpbsZjejWqh36_ZkmIN_X1bSC2rVR8Ju1iM/edit
is there any story that i can join?
ReplyDeleteMetro Exodusis an epic, story-driven first person shooter from 4A Games that blends deadly combat and stealth with exploration and survival horror in one of ...
ReplyDeleteMobile Legends: Bang Bang is a mobile multiplayer online battle arena (MOBA) game developed and published by Moonton, a subsidiary of ByteDance.
ReplyDelete