Author: Ciroton
Description: Some things in this world happen by chance. Others do not. Twilight Sparkle is about to learn a disturbing truth that will turn her world upside down.Sunset Chapter 1: Dawn
Sunset Chapter 2: Twilight
Sunset Chapter 3: Moonrise
Sunset Chapter 4: Eclipse
Sunset: Epilogue
Additional Tags: Conflict, Revelation, Madness, Sorrow, Regret
Alternate Ending by Leonon
[Grimdark-War][Adventure]
Author: Ciroton
Description: Welcome to the new Equestria, Twilight Sparkle. See your friends at each other's throats? You have to choose between them now, to stop the heartache of war with decisive victory. For the nation lies bleeding, its harmony shattered into a million pieces. Black and white and right and wrong have blurred together.For Want of a Dawn Prologue
You must choose wisely, or all shall die.
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 1
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 2
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 3
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 4
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 5
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 6
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 7
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 8
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 9
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 10
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 11
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 12
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 13
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 14
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 15
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 16
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 17
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 18
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 19
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 20
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 21
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 22
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 23
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 24
For Want of a Dawn Chapter 25 (New!)
Additional Tags: It's the end of the world as Twilight knows it.
Art by dotrook
250 comments:
**minor spoiler alert**
ReplyDeleteuhh, maybe it's just me missreading it but spike has purple scales and green spines...
and what the hell is twillight talking about trixie fighting a manticore by turning into an ursa minor? i feel like i've missed something here...
Wow. why is the story making reference to future actions with trixie? what is "the griffin incident" for instance? and the "sisters" thing. Did I miss a chapter or something when this was explained? Great chapter though!
ReplyDelete@KoA
ReplyDelete@Wento
He's referencing his previous stories,
1st- http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-blood-is-thicker.html
2nd- http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/07/story-reluctant-reunioin-of-redoubtable.html
Dear Princess Celestia,
ReplyDeleteToday I've learned that, if you happen to make a golem, you shall never, EVER, make it a unicorn or otherwise magic-using creature or you'll regret that... big time.
Your faithfull student,
Twilight Sparkle
@shadefox
ReplyDeleteah, that explains alot :) thanks, and yay! more fanfiction to read now :D
To Zanzibar:
ReplyDeleteI agree with the fact that twilight does seem a bit... dumbed down, in For Want of Dawn. But! The chapter that takes place from Queen Eos's perspective, detailing her day to day life as queen has me convinced that this isn't just a dream.
Luna said, specifically, "This pool is... enigmatic. What it does is not clear, yet if you were to bathe in its waters, you would be washed over with an epiphany. It's hard to say how it would do this, since it changes tactics every time. Alas, we are here to move it, not to use it." That could certainly mean a vision or a dream, and her words imply that even if it's granted ponies visions in the past, it wouldn't do that every time. It's obvious from the beginning that the epiphany is going to be "Oh, hey, maybe I shouldn't be ignoring this voice of divinity living in my head", but I'm convinced the story itself isn't just a dream sequence.
And yes, I'm also not fond of the idea of Eos being a second consciousness in Twilight's head. Seems kind'a cheap, and unsatisfying. Like if she ascends to goddesshood, she'll be relinquishing control over to some other pony who isn't her, and if the chapter from Queen Eos's perspective is any indication, Twilight herself would become the disembodied voice in the back of Eos's head. That... doesn't sit well with me. Still, I'm enjoying the story overall.
Continued from previous post:
ReplyDeleteUnleeeeeeess accepting Eos makes Eos cease to be a separate consciousness. I could see that happening, since Luna in this latest chapter (what was with that, anyways?) referred to Iah as herself, after stating that she is to Iah as Celestia is to Sol and Eos is to Twilight. This author sure is fond of three-letter names.
@Cedric Bale
ReplyDeleteThis is my personal take on the Twilight/Eos split.
@Cedric Bale
ReplyDeleteMy own speculation as to "how it will end" is that the life and experiences of Queen Eos and our "vanilla" Twilight will merge somehow.
What better way to give you an epiphany than to experience the world from two perspectives like that? It'll all probably involve some form of immense sacrifice from Queen Eos side, showing vanilla Twilight that yupp, she's not bad. She's just been making bad decisions.
But oh well. I hope the story picks up its pace. As it is, I'm not sure I'll manage to stay interested if the story will have Twilight visiting her other five friends before the end game.
Merging of their conciousness was something I thought of as well, but it feels a bit... Sloppy. It's one thing to have an inner monologue, but having the inner voice answer you like that
This thing got updated on deviantart, and HOLY SHIT. Not for the faint of heart. You will, at minimum, cringe if you have any affection to Twilight. DEFINITELY looking forward to the next chapter.
ReplyDeletewhoa, when did these updates pop up! time to read on
ReplyDeleteok, your definition of "mildly" differs GREATLY from mine – but a great chapter anyways (hope I can sleep now…).
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletechapter 10 was ok. I thought the Spike parts were handled quite well, despite most likely being the hardest part to write
ReplyDeleteI'm finding it increasingly hard to comment on this as it goes along, so I'll just say that Chapter 10 was probably the best of the past few chapters and that I still am following this with anticipation.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very... um... "strange" fic. The 1st story was astonishing in pretty much all of its aspects but story no.2 drifts from awesomeness to total lameness. I've almost stopped reading after the part where CMC describe other groups of opposition/guerrilla/rebels/terrorists - it was so childish, shallow, uninteresting and unoriginal... Pinkie Pie as the Joker? Srsly?
ReplyDeleteBut nevertheless, all the lame aspects are actually being dexterously and pretty much creatively put in the story and it swiftly makes me forget about how silly some of the main points of plot are.
One thing that is kinda breaking the spell of the 2nd story. You've used to some degree, Ciroton, the same trick with encounters with Vinyl Scratch as you used in story no.1 when Twi was captured by her friends during her outbreak in Ponyville. I'm talking about her "forgetting about magic". In the second story she's able to create a little sun even with mithril ring on her horn but when she meets Vinyl Scratch she's unable to simply levitate her on a tree top or just shove her back. Instead, she runs away. This element of plot is not defending itself even if we tell ourselves that she doesn't want to hurt anyone. The same with her imprisonment at Fluttershy's place. I'm expecting to see some combat in the future and it will pretty much strongly contrast with the rest of this story.
One more thing - we completely lack information about what happened between two points: Twi vanishing and reappearing. There's like thousands of question everyone would ask on Twi's place but none of them is even being mentioned. Twi, in the story, doesn't really care for them either. We are getting some hints like with the "pegasus" from royal guard and the way he addresses Luna, Eos' cutie mark etc. Still, wouldn't you on Twi's place have a little more questions about situations around after waking after a decade? I certainly would!
Btw, Fluttershy is not a "tree-hugger", she's an "everything-hugger". Trees and animals are just usually around to be hugged easily. Fluts is generally the hardest character to picture in fics as there are almost no such people in modern word. Did you read Blood is Thicker than Friendship? Brony Stonershy created the best Fluttershy ever almost perfectly catching all her traits, both good and bad.
I'm trying to be helpful in the comment above so it may sounds as if I was totally bashing your work. It's not like that! I enjoy it and think that it's really a great fic! Thank you for all your hard work on it! I'm longing to see another chapter out though I still have to finish what was already written ;) Keep up the good work but please try to keep it consistent. Twi cannot be victimized so badly by "a unicorn" if she is capable of doing great things at the same time and is supposed to do even better in future (and did in the past).
ah...I implore an update
ReplyDeleteI dunno what is this fic about, but i love DAT IMAGE!
ReplyDeletewhew, caught up in time for another update. Keep them interesting thank you
ReplyDeleteLoved the first story. Second one's been pretty disappointing. Using merged posts like this is annoying because it prevents individual ratings.
ReplyDeleteRe read chapter 10, refresh EqD, see story updated.
ReplyDeleteMe gusts.
Ok, a problem that I have with many stories is all the -insert applicable color- mare, -insert color + pony species-, and the -insert color- coated pony things. Let me go ahead and save you some time with the characters. IT'S OK TO USE THEIR NAMES. Blasphemy, I know, but its ok to call the lavender unicorn Twilight, and the azure mare Trixie. :3
Sunset was simply an amazing read. The inclusion of the alternate ending was... interesting but the story as written was perfect. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteThen everypony dies. The End.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGreat chapter update. I wonder if maybe rarity will be the combo breaker in terms of bad friends, would be nice
ReplyDeleteGod damn. The actual details of the Griffon war were exactly as horrifying as I expected them to be.
ReplyDeleteJust read Heavenly Turmoil, just about to read this...
ReplyDeleteIS NO ONE IN EQUESTRIA SANE?!?!
Probably my favorite grimdark pony fanfic
ReplyDeleteCH.11 :
ReplyDelete>"War is war and the Hells are the hells, but of the two, war is the worse.
-...? This person/pony clearly never visited Hell for real, THAT’s for sure.
>"Please, it's May Mare now, dear," she smiled.
-Is it one of the few names for her ? I once heard ‘’Vanilla’’.
>so you'd better watch your step, 'Blueprint'."
-I don’t recall Twilight actually telling her ‘’disguise-name’’ to the Mayor, so what ? Is this ‘look’ the official ‘’disguise #3 : named Blueprint’’ or something ?
>I also know a spell I've wanted to try out that allows for infinite storage with no change of weight."
-A ‘’spell’’ called : *Bag of Holding (Major)*... very prized by veteran adventurers.
>I still can't believe I thought it was a good idea to bring back ponies from the dead!
-Yeah, it’s not like those 2 ‘’ponies’’ could help them in any way, to overthrow a powerful Evil or anything...
>I should have remembered that no spell can do that.
-Hmm ? Apparently ‘Life Magic’ and ‘Necromancy (good or bad)’ don’t exist in those Realities ?
@Chapter 12
ReplyDeleteWell... that took a rather... sadistic turn in a hurry...
Oh wow, that image. No question about it; I'm reading this one.
ReplyDelete@Discord Oh yes, there is a lot of connection to the first.
ReplyDeletefinally catching up and damn this is so much win ^_^
ReplyDeleteThe day-in-the-life-of-EOS stuff is so cool....and hilarious. Her whole breakdown w/ the wine was VH1 Behind the Music material.
On my list of: things to read.
ReplyDeleteLength of List: Longer than I can see. 0-0
I like this story a lot. but when it is finished i will either love it or hate it, because i would love it after everything is finished, twilight gets transported back or something. but if she stays in the world with all of the friends hating another and stuff that'll ruin the whole story in my mind. i don't like my ponies feeling hate...
ReplyDelete@Ben Gibson
ReplyDeletenot to say I don't love the writing style and all that, no slight on Ciruton. I just won't like seeing all the ponies not liking each other if it stays like that forever
I keep reading this, I cannot explain why. You have literally wrote the "everything is broken forever" scenario. one dead, one turned traitor, and the other three all having gone mad in pursuit of their own vision of the world and the horrors of war. There can be no true happy ending here. Nothing will ever be ok after what the Mane did. I somehow find your Pinkie more terrifying than the one in cupcakes. You've made me hate Fluttershy. Every single one of these characters are so far out of character I am forced to call them OC's from an alternate universe with the same names. yet I keep reading.
ReplyDeletegood to see this still gets updated, some fics gets cut off not updated for months or may be ever, so...
ReplyDelete@Dusk I hear that!
ReplyDeleteAt chapter 16 it finally starts looking like something can still be made right. omg please do not take forever to write the next chapter, I CAN'T TAKE THE TENSION! aaagh! and I totally love this. I also don't have a problem with it all probably being just a "vision" since it seems to be real to Twilight and also to me. The horrors are real, no matter if there may be a deus ex machina ending. Sure, it would be nice if the story would be resolved via hard work and even more epic quests, but nothing could lessen the genius behind this story and my desire for more.
ReplyDeleteI'm still frustrated about the lack of answers regarding Luna and the pool of Midnight, but this is shaping up to be quite the adventure. I didn't expect to see Rainbow in the Sorrel Hells either, that made me so happy! I hope to see more soon!
ReplyDeleteOkay. I haven't commented on this in a while, so my response to this chapter is as follows with my reservation about it.
ReplyDeleteApple Bloom's death, more so than any event in this story, is the thing that makes this a Sunset sequel. I admit that I had partially been reading this mostly because it was a Sunset sequel rather than on it's own merits, and I tended to agree that it left quite a bit to be desired in comparison.
However, that action by Eos... Not killing Discord, not the confirmation that she killed Celly and Luna and Derpy, not sorta killing Rainbow Dash, not even having the Cakes executed for collusion. Not even Twilight killing in self-defense, like against Caramel. None of those.
No, that decisive and brutal action against Apple Bloom is the point that marks this as the sequel to Sunset. The way it is handled in the story, described with the emotional detachment as if that is some random character rather than the filly Twilight (and we) knew and loved; giving the reader a really clever glimpse at just what Discord did to her mind to fuck her up so badly when she went to him for advice; making it clear that she is now in a state of mind that is completely seperate from how she was. That is the thing that Twilight was afraid to become, and that is the thing that Twilight has to deal with now.
It carried all of the subtlety and impact that the high points of Sunset did, and has reignited my interest in the story.
And with that, I express my concerns. There is a reset button in place. Twilight just pressed it to bring Rainbow back to life, justified by the story or not. With Apple Bloom's death, the first one in the story that carries the true weight of the situation and brings back all of the feelings Sunset gave off, I fear that it will be pressed for her too. Whether that fear is justified or not, I don't know; but just wanted to put that out there.
The one difference between the two Twilights, the one true differnece between Sunset's Twilight and For Want of a Dawn's Eos is that one is willing to Accept that she was delusional and wrong and the other Denies.
ReplyDeleteNow Eos' Denial, her choice, will probably lead to the biggest war Equestria's seen and it's end, possible the world's.
She has Chosen Poorly, and I fear that if the Well has or had intelligence that it too has chosen poorly.
Forcing Twilight to literally face her fears of Eos was the intention, but for this particular Equestria I fear she will not be enought to save it, or Twilight.
MOAR
ReplyDeleteNEED MOAR NAO!
I'm quickly losing interest in this fic. It was cool to see the Queen's internal conflict, but now she's gone off the deep end in a very graphic way, and there's nothing magical about that.
ReplyDeleteYou've created a depressing, oppressing world where the removal of the queen wouldn't solve much or repair the damage that's been done. Worse yet, this is an alternate reality, one that Twilight's been thrown into, and we're sitting at chapter 17 and we still don't know why.
I'm done. It was fun seeing Twilight succeed despite the obstacles thrown in her way, but right now even a happy ending wouldn't be worth the journey to get there.
stop all the vague descriptions!!!! :P
ReplyDeleteholahh, story 2 ends. Nothing like a good old completion. Thanks, I'll be finally finish reading it tonight
ReplyDeleteFirst want to know who, if anypony, dies here.
ReplyDeleteThen I'll read.
([email protected] if you don't want to spoil for others)
Holy crap is finally done? Man, that kinda sucks.
ReplyDeleteWell, it was a hell of a ride, but all things must come to an end I suppose. Congratulations on getting it finished.
ReplyDelete