Friday, July 15, 2011

Story: Dinky Doo's Father Revealed (Update Complete!)

[Shipping] Derpy Hooves time!


Author: Roy G. Biv
Description: This story is an attempt to not only write a happy Derpy Hooves/Ditzy Doo and Dinky Doo story, but also delve into who the unicorn filly's father is.
Dinky Doo's Father Revealed
Dinky Doo's Travels 
Dinky Doo's Homecoming (New!)

Additional Tags: normal, shipping, Absolutely not grimdark

77 comments:

Anonymous said...

>absolutely not grimdark

hmm

kwj said...

absolutely not grimdark tag is win

Anonymous said...

read when he submitted.
Fantastic story, I think it should be "official" derpy back story.
Also, not really shipping tag, more sad/normal.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

Exactly my suspicions fellow anon.

Anonymous said...

Derp.

Anonymous said...

Not grimdark and OC Ponies.

I have a bad feeling about this...

~Scratch

BagOfChips said...

I got bubbles on my butt.

kwj said...

oh gosh this is so sweeeet my heart is melting so bad
confound this ponies they made me have feelings of happines when dinky met her dad

Major Rains said...

It actually isn't grimdark. It's sad, but the ending is happy.

Anonymous said...

i srsly cry while reading

Anonymous said...

I'm not a fan of developmentally disabled Derpy. Not part of my personal head canon.

Anonymous said...

Just finished the story.

Curse this OC pony story, it drives me to respect them.

Apart from maybe being a little bit more subtle about them having sex, it was an amazing story.

Bravo Roy, 5/5 stars.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

Naturally I forget to sign my name. *Applies hoof to the front of my cranial region*

~Scratch

Anonymous said...

My heart didn't melt, it fucking vaporized.

Nova25 said...

Fantastic and remarkable story. :)

It was very interesting, really.

It was soft and light, touching... but it was also strong, in the sense that, the 'happy' (the feeling, emotion) that Dinky feels in the story, we can also feel it since it well shown and explained to us... and then, smile back at the story. ;)

Golden Muffin Award for this Ditzy-Dinky Family story. :happycry:

Nova25 said...

@Nova25
You should REALLY remove the ''Absolutely not grimdark'' tag... It makes people wonder ''bad'' questions...

The Jaguar said...

Excellent story.
"Absolutely not grimdark" haha. Definitely wasn't.

Anonymous said...

this person has won the muffin award

Anonymous said...

Really nice even if I don't like mentally challenged version of Derpy.

DeviousPsychopath said...

*Spoilers! Avert your eyes!*



While I enjoyed the story, I feel it would have worked better had the father died before Dinky learned of him. I know, that's horrible of me.

I understand they would be unable to raise Dinky at the Farm, but why not visit the father? Why hide he exists? Why hope Dinky never asks, if he's been alive all this time?

If not dead, then have Dinky be younger or something, so her lack of knowledge of her father is more understandable.

But, all in all. I enjoyed this and it warmed my heart.

Anonymous said...

I've a soft spot for Ditzy/Dinky stories, and this is no exception. 5/5 would read again.

Anonymous said...

@DeviousPsychopath

I agree, it would have made it better, but it wouldnt have made it any more realistic. Dinky cant be any older than the equivalent of 9.

And it isnt unreasonable to not ask why, especially considering she had likely never seen her father more than a few times at birth.

CrimeOfKicking said...

Will read tomorrow!

Hope it's not a Denver Bronco...

Anonymous said...

The ending made no sense. Ditzy / Derpy acted like Dinky was going to learn something really sad. I figured her dad divorced her at first, then figured he was dead. Then it turns out he's alive but working somewhere else. I don't see why Dinky wasn't told sooner, why her father didn't come to visit, and why he didn't get replaced much sooner.

Anonymous said...

This was such a nice story! I love how this turned out and have a better appreciation for Derpy and Dinky now!

Present Perfect said...

Where does Quarterback being Derpy's brother come from? Is that fanon, or what?

Anonymous said...

Manly tears.

I think my only "problem" is the use of an OC pony instead of say Ponet or Pokey or... well there aren't that many male background unicorns now is there?...

But still, manly tears.

Anonymous said...

@Present Perfect

It's part of Roy G. Biv's personal story continuity. See "Trapping the Quarterback" for where it comes from (at least as far as I can tell).

Anonymous said...

Reading this story while listening to Winter Wrap Up caused a waterfall.

6/5

Present Perfect said...

Thanks Anon, I wondered about that.

supervanman64 said...

Very heartwarming story about Ditzy Doo. I loved it. :3

Draggle said...

I cried. :,)

La Barata said...

*Manly Tears*
Flawless. Victory.

Anonymous said...

Great story, 5/5, D'AWWWWWWWW, ...
but Seth should change the [Shipping] tag into [Normal] [LightShipping] [HappySad] or something. Not exactly the kind of story one expects from [Shipping]

Anonymous said...

I swear I cried when I read it.
The ending was so beautiful. It brought me to tears. The way the story was told just made me feel (what's the word I'm looking for? In tagalog "Nakakakilig"). The bond between that family put a good feeling in my heart.
6/5 stars.

TenchiFreak5 said...

A great, heartwarming story.

I agree with the criticism above that the reason for the father being away seemed fairly contrived (I too was expecting the situation to be that the father had died), but it ultimately doesn't really damage the integrity of the story.

Anonymous said...

a truly sweet story, loved it very much.
like the ending, it brings hope for possibly a happy ending for the family.

<:')

Sunset Rose said...

This was so sweet I think I got a cavity just reading it!
You bronies are making me fall in love with Ditzy and Dinky more and more every day!
<3
5/5 from me but I wrote a reflection on my DA.

Truthseeker said...

Paragraph 4 near the end, I believe you meant to write 'glimmer' not 'slimmer'.

'It was just one of the many quirks that Ditzy (Ditzy or Dinky?) loved about her mom that made her unique.'

'They also began to teach me how to fly properly, something that have (has?) been a challenge in school due to my lazy eye. I learned the painstaking task of over-compensating (compensating or over-compensating?) for depth perception, and how to think that objects could be much closer than they seemed.'

I tried to calm down as they taught me to do in the speech classes. to (you might want to capitalize) manage the right words Finally, the words came slow, but I was able to manage what I wanted to say "You are no my brother. You are new pony. But you be nice and cheer me up. But how come you no tell Ditzy this yourself?"

'Several other residents started bushing (pushing?) our still stunned bodies up towards the stage as we felt toy crowns rested atop our heads.'

Other than those absolutely tiny spelling errors, that was positively wonderful! Love it, love it, love it!

Anonymous said...

Amazing. I have a whole new perspective of Derpy Hooves now.

zeb516 said...

And thus the universe life and everything was created.

FeelNFine said...

Family tip for young child/teen heading out: Working at gay bars can get you some good money, information, and favors. I loled, but aside from that this was really touching, can't wait for the end!

tinwhistle said...

...has some fairly major issues, in my opinion, but good effort.

Anonymous said...

me personally this is the onlyoc shipping i agree with kinda..but my only problem is that he makes derpy sound retarted retarted

Benschachar said...

The first part was enjoyable, but the newest chapter practically dived into the "everybody is gay" trope in the first few paragraphs so I stopped caring. I give 3/5 stars for a highly enjoyable first chapter appropriate to every conceivable audience and a second chapter which embraced the most absurd excesses of shipping.

The only reason I rated "Party Never Ended" the higher 5 stars was because it never went to the excesses of shipping til' the end, even though it left me wondering if Equine society was going to be annihilated by sheer demographic instability.

Hmm. Interesting fic idea for a deconstruction of shipping.

Anonymous said...

Pretty much what Benschachar said.

After the whole meeting with Dinky's aunt, my interest just dropped and I stopped reading after a few more paragraphs.

Setting score from 5/5 to 3/5 because I'm rating the story as a whole.

Anonymous said...

^ to continue my thoughts: I think the story was fine with just the first one, personally. :/

Anonymous said...

It wasn't a bad story, but if I could possibly convey the amount of apathy I experienced during it, this website would most likely implode.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't shake the association between the nurse Mare Blucher and Mel Brooks' Frau Blucher. Extra points for creepy (incorrect) urban myth if that was the intention.

Sunset Rose said...

Now you have me anxious to see the third part. Well done so far, Roy G Biv!

Nova25 said...

Part 2 :

Well, it was interesting.
Interesting thinking with the female Diamond Dogs... remembers me of something, but I can't point exactly what ? Amazons, maybe ?

genisis22100 said...

Can't wait for moar! I love the story, Zeks, love, sadness, battle, unpredictability and no clichés (I could certainly not find any). All a good story need, I know a good story does not need zeks. I wish this could be "official".

Anonymous said...

Absolutly fantastic series so far. Cant wait for more.

Matariel said...

I LOVE this fic, can't wait for more, please let Dinky and Derpy get the happy ending they so deserve

Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony said...

How does a Unicorn+Pegasus work?

Asgard said...

@Dave the cynic

*Stares at Dave* Um... Well, when a MALE unicorn or pegasus and a FEMALE unicorn or pegasus loves each other very, very much... *Cough, Ahem* Stuff happens...

PewnyPL said...

I'll say, I just readall the chapters and that story was just great! The ending was just fantastic. 5/5
Also, that part in 2nd chapter: "Well, sure! My mentor Twilight and Princess Luna did that, as did Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash! Ooh, and Lyra an' Bonbon"
I nearly died laughing

Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony said...

@Asgard
But they're two different species.

Cola said...

@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony

IIRC Lauren Faust has stated on her DA that they could interbreed

Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony said...

@Cola
You mean she said it for fanservice?

banjo2E said...

That "definitely not grimdark" tag needs Sincerity Mode attached to it. 100% WAFF here, and in the best way possible.

EonMaster said...

Did the author change the ending to the first chapter? I swear it originally ended with Dinky seeing her father again at her cuteceanera and they conversed in hoof-language. It's seems like the last couple of paragraphs were deleted so the author could continue the story.

Needless to say, I was confused when reading chapter 2 and 3 until I reread the ending for chapter one.

Nova25 said...

Part 3 :

Well, that was a nice story, even though, like some said (DA), it feels like it isn't really *The End*-end.

Finally, all is good for dear Dinky :)
(and for Ditzy and Bran tonight too ;))

Roy G. Biv said...

@EonMaster

I did change it as too many raged & complained that the original had a HUGE plot hole with why didn't he visit or them visit, plus the buildup to him just being across the continent seemed off to many...

Nova25 said...

@Roy G. Biv
Huh... when was those change made ?

Recently or ?

TenchiFreak5 said...

I tried so hard to like this as a whole. I absolutely loved the first chapter, and was completely willing to overlook the above-mentioned apparent plot hole because the story still ended on an ultimately satisfying note.

But absolutely nothing about the second or third chapter grabbed me. I just could not find any interest in what happened in the story after the first quarter or so of the second chapter because the shift in tones and themes was so extreme, and the third chapter didn't really do anything to win me back (and the way Dinky basically just ran into her father on accident actually pushed me away a little farther).



I really don't want to sound mean about this, but it almost seems as if Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 were made up as they were written, without an overall plan for what was going to happen.

Commodore Z said...

Now THAT is a good Ditsy/Dinky story.

muninn said...

while part 1 was tolerable and even sweet at times, part 2 and 3 are prime examples of what gives FanFic a bad name...

"Dinky blushed, the young mare knowing what would likely happen at home that night."

seriously? you might as well say "and then they banged" ugh.

DulTek said...

I've read a lot of Pony Fan-Fics in my day, but this... This is by far my favorite. Excellent job...

axlemn said...

I have never in my life cried tears of joy before. Congratulations, sir.

SecondJack said...

Very, very very, very heartwarming.
I think I can have a nice sleep tonight.
Thank you.

Thegnap said...

Such a great story i can see why everyone loves derpy so much, and the characterization is great, it always astounds me how much detail is put into background ponies!

I LOVE THIS FANDOM, and this fan fic :3

The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor said...

Trevor is moved beyond words. Thank you for this fic.

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

Masquerade said...

I thought it was pretty interesting that Princess Luna(WTF?!) and Twilight(DOUBLE WTF?!)were lesbians. Nothing against that, but it just seems like an odd match. Not being stupid or ignorant, just kinda my opinion *cowers*Please don't punch me, internet!

Masquerade said...

Oh, and the story was super cool too. <3'd it!

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