Other than a little polishing, it looks good! The only real criticism would be to point out that Applejack isn't /always/ fearless, as shown in 'Bridle Gossip', but I'll put that down to Fluttershy exaggerating.
I liked how you portrayed Fluttershy in the orchard, kicking trees. I can see her charging back and forth with a great big smile and trying not to 'yay' as loud as she could. The ending was nice and sweet, even if it (especially since it) didn't end in the kiss and tearful confession everyone expects from most shipping fics. Well done!
author here. thanks for the comments, everypony. i do sometimes have a problem with repeating words as was pointed out, and i'll make sure to try and fix that in the next part.
side note: anyone know how to edit stuff you've posted to google docs? i can't seem to get in to do so.
It's just... just... perfect. Nothing is done wrong. At all.
I guess it would be rather... difficult to write about more, though I'd love to see some more, definitely. Applejack x Fluttershy makes the most adorable pairing ever.
Wow! A Rainbowpie nex to the Appleshy at the end? That was a great idea. Now I just wonder how they told it to the Cutie Mark Crusaders especially to Applebloom. I belive that Big Mac alredy know about it and Applebloom noticed something about this copule thing too but Big Mac kept her buisy and away from Fluttershy and Applejack.
Great little story, and funny little call-out to pinkiedash ficfriends at the end is awesome.
You portrayed the characters well, but I must say that I can't agree with Rarity. Their colors do NOT match or complement, they're just an amalgamation of yellow.
Well. I certainly didn't expect to see a sequel, I thought it was finished at part 3. But boy, you proved me wrong. I absolutely love this story. Look at me. I'm a 17 year old guy giggling like a little girl at a story about ponies in love. But god dammit. I'm shameless.
And I'll repeat. I absolutely love this story with all my cold lonely heart. This made my day. I love you.
Dont leave us hanging bro! I want 1 more! Even if it's VERY short. I just want to see the reaction from the last comment in the story. Anyway.....this was a beautiful story. I was touched, and that doesn't happen often. But i wouldn't be suprised if you left it as it is right now.
i'm honored that people want to see more from this story, but i honestly think it's done here. i was on the fence about making a fourth part until i got a sudden inspiration; i personally think making a fifth part would be overkill.
thanks, everyone, for the kind words. it really makes me happy to see that people enjoyed this :-D
This story is so beautiful, I cried at more then 1 scene at how adorable and cute the two of them are in this story. This is a brilliant masterpiece of a shipfic.
I commend you for making a work of fiction so moving as to bring tears to my face. You deserve a good and hearty +1 internets.
77 comments:
I... I believe this to be an unprecedented event.
>Open document
>See the word "Applejack" 13 times in one paragraph
>Nope.
Moar! NAO!
This was great.
I'm hoping you continue it.
I'd like to hear what happens next.
Consarnit! I was just thinking of writing a Apple/Shy ship...
Ah well, there is going to be more than one part, right?
Dammit! Don't leave me hanging!
My only complaint would be the use of "sugarcube".. Over and over.
Otherwise it was good.
@Anonymous
I'd agree...
if only "Sugarcube" wasn't the single biggest reason I love Applejack.
OTL
> I'd like to hear what happens next.
They had sex. It was amazing.
Isn't that how EVERY shipping fic ends?
@Anonymous
Not The Three Notes.
You people are so damn picky sometimes
@Anonymous
Confound these bronies?
motherf-
well, least I know I wasn't the only one working on one of these...
>> Prefers picky bronies due to their boldness to correct people
>> Likes this story anyway
Other than a little polishing, it looks good! The only real criticism would be to point out that Applejack isn't /always/ fearless, as shown in 'Bridle Gossip', but I'll put that down to Fluttershy exaggerating.
I liked how you portrayed Fluttershy in the orchard, kicking trees. I can see her charging back and forth with a great big smile and trying not to 'yay' as loud as she could.
The ending was nice and sweet, even if it (especially since it) didn't end in the kiss and tearful confession everyone expects from most shipping fics. Well done!
needs another part :P also, good job!
A very nice story that explores a pretty original (and cute) shipping combo. I honestly don't have any negative criticisms for this one. Great job!
Daww, this fic was adorable. I'd been waiting for an Apple/Flutter fic to spring up from somewhere. You did not disappoint. :)
It was well-written, in-character and downright sweet. I hope there's more chapters in future. It'd be awesome to see their little slumber party!
author here. thanks for the comments, everypony. i do sometimes have a problem with repeating words as was pointed out, and i'll make sure to try and fix that in the next part.
side note: anyone know how to edit stuff you've posted to google docs? i can't seem to get in to do so.
I love this story. And it's great to occasionally see a story without a single spelling error! I can't wait for the next part. :3
*reads the sequel* D'awww! This gets sweeter and sweeter, excellent work! :-)
Regarding the author's question: Make sure you're logged in with the same Google account you used to upload it.
This story is downright adorable!
cant wait for part 3 :)
So happy you did a part two.. Same as "Starbuck" can't wait for a part 3.
I'm really loving this story so far!
NIce Story, I love it, i can´t wait to read the rest.
part 3 seems to have a broken link of some kind.
Seth, you done double-goofed!
> Title of post
> Link to third part
@Fanloser
Yea, the link to part 3 is broken.
At leasty now the lucky few of us know how the coding of blogger works! :D
fixed it
I was with the author up until he wrote "horsepitality"
@Common
Mortal Horsebat?
D'awww, this is so adorable.
I love every inch of this! Epic d'awwwws have been had. I can't wait to see more from you, Twinkle! <3
this made my day :)
What a way to start work, thank you Mr Author!
I HNNNNG'd at least thrice, if not more, at this. Already read the two first chapters, this third one just melted my heart :'D
SO...MUCH...DAWWWWWWWWWWW!
Why does it always seem perfect when applejack is involved in a ship? she's so compatable with pretty much everypony. lol fantastic story tho :D
I daww'd
Daww'd hard, and I think I see a hint to some OTHER relationships going about...
Sweet story. i liked parts two and three more than the first one.
That was the cutest thing ever.
The last part made me lol too XD
Good gravy... this is so adorable and sweet.
Applejack and Fluttershy make the perfect pairing... and I have to admit, I cried.
Will there be a part four? Honestly, this is one of the best fics I've read on this site, and I would love to see more.
Thank you so much for this... it's made up for what was an otherwise terrible week for me.
@Senn555
i wasn't planning on it, but if
@Twinkletail
way to hit post early, twink...
anyway i wasn't planning on it, but if i get inspired to and can figure out somewhere good to go with it, i might.
I love this story way too much. ;_;
It's just... just... perfect. Nothing is done wrong. At all.
I guess it would be rather... difficult to write about more, though I'd love to see some more, definitely. Applejack x Fluttershy makes the most adorable pairing ever.
The last lines!
THE LAST LINES!
This story is now amazing.
I am going to admit something really huge here.
Now, I don't have a problem admitting that I'm a grown man and I love MLP.
But, while reading this story, for the first time in my life... I squee'd.
Yes. I SQUEEE'D like the fist of the god damn north star. I squee'd like a Kingdom Hearts fangirl reading yaoi KH fanfiction.
What have I become.
Pretty good continuation there. Glad you wrapped up the last little loose end for the most part. And how you incorporated the dream from before.
Perhaps I should do some incidental continuations of my own, heh.
The last line in part 4 is the best.
@Anonymous
This.
I've loved this story from start to finish.. I would imagine this is now the end? A shame, but yeah, brilliant story.
Wow! A Rainbowpie nex to the Appleshy at the end? That was a great idea. Now I just wonder how they told it to the Cutie Mark Crusaders especially to Applebloom. I belive that Big Mac alredy know about it and Applebloom noticed something about this copule thing too but Big Mac kept her buisy and away from Fluttershy and Applejack.
A new chapter! *takes deep breath* ...yay...
>Horsepitality
Okay, I smirked at that.
Great little story, and funny little call-out to pinkiedash ficfriends at the end is awesome.
You portrayed the characters well, but I must say that I can't agree with Rarity. Their colors do NOT match or complement, they're just an amalgamation of yellow.
HAHA
great ending to a great story.
5/5
Well. I certainly didn't expect to see a sequel, I thought it was finished at part 3. But boy, you proved me wrong. I absolutely love this story.
Look at me. I'm a 17 year old guy giggling like a little girl at a story about ponies in love. But god dammit. I'm shameless.
And I'll repeat. I absolutely love this story with all my cold lonely heart. This made my day. I love you.
Dont leave us hanging bro!
I want 1 more! Even if it's VERY short.
I just want to see the reaction from the last comment in the story.
Anyway.....this was a beautiful story.
I was touched, and that doesn't happen often.
But i wouldn't be suprised if you left it as it is right now.
Great ending! Good job!!!
i'm honored that people want to see more from this story, but i honestly think it's done here. i was on the fence about making a fourth part until i got a sudden inspiration; i personally think making a fifth part would be overkill.
thanks, everyone, for the kind words. it really makes me happy to see that people enjoyed this :-D
Don't make a fifth part if you don't have any inspiration. Some stories are simple but at the same time perfect. This story is one of those.
Props to you, excellent work, I'm looking forward to more works from you
wonderful story. Moar Boar is full.
Oh god this stuff is too adorable....I am an 18 year old male on his way to college and here I am squeeing at shipfics about ponies....confound it.
Found myself crying a little at many points of your story..
And im 20 years old.. Thank you :)
You must simply make another story, or expand on this.
My heart, yumeltinginapuddle?
This story is so beautiful, I cried at more then 1 scene at how adorable and cute the two of them are in this story. This is a brilliant masterpiece of a shipfic.
I commend you for making a work of fiction so moving as to bring tears to my face. You deserve a good and hearty +1 internets.
I, a legal adult man, Have SQUEEEEEEd at this story.
You have earned my respect, carry on. I Fully hope to see more like this.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--- <3
I simply lold at the last line of chapter 4.
I loved this story it was so adorable keep up the good work.
Secret PinkieDash?! LOVE!!!
XD Dangit. I'm glad someone posted some Appleshy here...
I love it...that's just adorable
Do words really need to be said about just how awesome this was
@Hawkysu
Agreed
@Hawkysu
Agreed
Just beautiful... I'd like that to happen to me one day. I happen to be Fluttershy, and my friend AppleJack. :')
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