Description: Spin-off of Bittersweet. The first step of growing up has always been the destruction of innocence, and Applebloom is no exception.Apple Blossom
Apple Blossom Part 2
Apple Blossom Part 3 (New!)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Story: Apple Blossom (Updated Finished!)
Apple Blossom Part 2
Apple Blossom Part 3 (New!)
55 comments:
;_;
This and the very first chapter of Bittersweet were sooo saaaad....
WHY DO I KEEP READING THESE *bawwww*
well done, well done
"...vacation?"
you trolling? haha, just kidding.
i like it.
I was waiting for this.
Why so sad :(
Well done
Well made, really. Also quite touching. (Like Bittersweet)
THAT is good-sadness, the good kind, the kind which reason/origin can be understood, not like some other grimdark-like story I know...
Made infinitely more ;_; if you can read it in Applebloom's voice.
How the destructyion of innocence is related to Templars, I will never know. Bronies sure work in strange ways...
But oh my god, this better sdalkadsfkmldfkmds no tears, man!! :C
Oh, my heart, my heart, my heart...
WHY U DO DIS TO ME AGAIN?
I'm having trouble envisioning Applebloom's expression at the end of Part 1, because I don't think the show's animation style allows for a face that heartbroken.
I am going to start crying god dammit.
Can I just go hug Applebloom? I think I'm gonna go hug her in my dreams.
Shhh only dreams now.
Well. That was quite dramatic. I really like this story almost as much as I loved bittersweet. And this story is almost as sad as it too.
I would go on but I'm at lost of words right now.
Sir, I love you, please continue on!
@Rollout More of an empty facial expression than anything.
OMGTEARS. ;.; I was actually picturing it all happening, and...and...and...just omgno. <:***{
Part 2's finished. It got a little rushed towards the end because I'm feeling a tad tired and I have someplace to be for the next two days, meaning that it I didn't finish it tonight it wouldn't be up until probably Sunday. Hopefully it doesn't feel too forced...
Also, got pretty darn melodramatic in this part, but it can't be helped.
God fucking dammit, stop making me baw.
No Applebloom don't do it.
AAAAAAAAAAA, APPLEBLOOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!
GET THE CLOP BACK TO SPIKE AND GO HANG AT TWILIGHT'S
OR SOMETHING
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Holy Christ.
I... just....
I'm crying.
I never read the original.
That said I did read this one. You have a tendency to REALLY drag out scenes.
The whole "Vacation!" "Vacation?..." "Vacation!" "Vacation?..." got old VERY fast, and almost ALL of Applebloom's thoughts are dragged on and on.
Still, the writing is overall good. Looking forward to more and if it becomes a Spike x Applebloom I'll go ahead and put it in my fapfics document.
2 stars.
@CottonmouthRead bittersweet. You will NOT regret it. This writer is incredible and would not let this turn into a ship.
And in that scene, SB was confused, since she'd been doing a pretty good job coping with the harsh fact of Pinkie's death. Suddenly, AB comes up, talking about how Pinkie's on vacation, SB needs a minute or two to try to understand what exactly is going on.
@Brony Mike
'Confused' does not warrant 91 lines of text. It was a drag to read through. The end.
@Cottonmouth Sweetie Belle's character is supposed to be a bit slow, so I tried to show that with how she got stuck on a single thing Applebloom said.
I take complete blame for the textdump of Applebloom's thoughts though. It was mostly a stylistic choice for me to do that, and I could have easily condensed it into a single paragraph or two.
Anyways, it's probably just that my writing style doesn't sift very well with you. While I never get to the point where I spend two pages describing a blade of grass (y hello thar Tolkien) a lot of my style depends on lengthy exposition and dialogue. I can never just go straight from Point A to Point B, everything has to have some sort of lead-up and denouement for me. So it's understandable that some people wouldn't like my style of storytelling. I'll try to cut down on lengthy passages that go nowhere, but no promises that that'll actually happen.
And I might ship Spike x Applebloom a tad, it'll just be in the background and not the main point though.
Well this has been a good read. Ah the classic running away scenario. Reminds me of a picture I found on DA. I might use the Spike and Apple Bloom running away for one of my future stories. Other than that you captured emotion and dialogue well.
Cant wait for part three. I wanna see what happens when she runs away.
SPIKE GOD DAMMIT MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL FOR ONCE AND DRAG HER TO THE LIBRARY WHERE TWILIGHT SPARKLE CAN DRIVE LOGIC INTO APPLEBLOOM'S HEAD WITH ONE OF HER LECTURES.
OR JUST SLAP HER. PLEASE.
My my.
Things certainly has taken an interesting turn.
I'm on the edge of my seat. I'm quite excited for the next chapter!
Story's done, and since Sethisto's at work I'll just drop the link here in case anypony wants to read it right now.
Part 3: https://docs.google.com/document/d/13W3iIiN1TjNYuJl57VJAjmSZQ97YkVSOgtfDfGmJ6yU/edit?hl=en&authkey=CPWv9_QI
I'm not as happy with it as I was with Bittersweet's ending, but this is only a sideplot. Besides, I'll never get a chance to write an ending like Bittersweet's unless I write something incredibly grand... hmm...
It was a great story, and the ending mad me daaaww. However, you changed tense mid-sentence several times in the beginning, which was slightly annoying.
Oh my god HNNNNNGH touching moment for the CMC <3
Oh and Spike too.
In the end, it was all a story about cutie marks...
*Sniff*
Its beautiful! Just simply beautiful! I don't think I have ever read a story more dramatic that empathizes the value of friendship and family love! Its just so cute and so great!
I love this story =)
Feel kinda odd that some people who I expected to comment didn't comment on the last part at all. Eh.
@Anonymous I should get an editor one of these days.
@Lazarus Or was it?
Was I one of them? I hadn't read it until just now.
D'aww at the ending, I teared up a bit when Spike was explaining the backstory you gave him. Not nearly as emotional as Bittersweet got for me, but there was still a good bit there. Still worthy of the five stars, I'd say.
I never actually heard of apple blossoms until this. I figure they're just the flowers that grow on apple trees? That actually matches Applebloom's name very well, though I think with her special talent technically being design stuff she'll probably wind up with a paintbrush or something.
In the second half, various forms of the word "lie" (lied, lying, lies) show up really frequently and the phrasing seemed a little repetitive for part of it. Just an observation, maybe a synonym or getting rid of a couple of them with different phrasing could help.
Hope you check back on comments for this and read my thoughts and I really hope you keep making fics.
@BronyMike I check all my fics for comments every once in a while thanks to the power of TEH AUTHOR TAG. Or something. Anyways, the apple blossoms were supposed to be a neat little symbolism for Applebloom's love for her family. After some quick Google research anyways. I've been researching a lot of stuff for fics for some reason.
I really need to get an editor orz. I've mentioned this earlier, but I was pretty unsatisfied with the way I ended this fic. It felt like the way Spike explained his past was forced and didn't completely fit in with canon, which annoyed me a little.
I knew nothing I wrote for this fic would top anything in Bittersweet. Which is why I'm writing my current fic with the sole purpose of beating Bittersweet as my best fanfic. Maybe. I don't know.
And yes, you were one of them. Along with Senn555 and Zarkanorf.
I've only read your sad stuff. Is this "current fic" you mentioned another sad one? I just checked and it seems you have two other fics up. Think I should read them?
@BronyMike It's up to you. Imaginapple is just something fun I wrote to take a break from all the BAWWWW I've been churning out. But Memories is my current big fic, and while it's not primarily sad like Bittersweet and Apple Blossom, I certainly wouldn't call what I have planned for it happy or uplifting by any means.
Of course, I haven't gotten to the depressing parts yet. Only having the prologue done so far. Still working on part 1.
Yeah, what the hell, I'll add 'em to the queue.
hwvbgyui bfhbjddhjsvbufiw3
Sorry, I was wiping the tears off my keyboard ;_;
This reminds me SO much of the song Her Diamonds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNCgfrjKcqs
Hey Nuke, I've got a question (I'm posting it here to avoid any spoilers on the more relevant fic):
I don't know crap about Assassin's Creed and I don't really have the time to get acquainted. Think I'd still enjoy Memories?
@BronyMike Yes. Honestly, it's not even really a crossover at all. Just has some borrowed concepts.
Ah, sweet. Still on the list, then. (From what I see it doesn't appear to be done yet, so it's near the bottom of the list)
@BronyMike
>it doesn't appear to be done yet
See you in six months bro.
Ahahahaha. Yeah, I gathered it was some huge epic. Keep up the good work, I'll say my thoughts on that blogpost when I eventually get to it and catch up.
Depressing plot + bad writing = FAIL!
Is This done?
Wait... I thought that losing innocence was the first step to the internet
STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY DAMNIT D'=
-D4SHT3R4INB0W
I have five words for Big Macintosh: Nice Job Breaking It, Hero.
A perfect illustration of the Break The Cutie trope in action.
This was a good supplement story. Even though this story never reached the quality of Bittersweet, this qas quite solid
I hope in season 3 they will have something very similar to this about how apple bloom got her cutie mark(except for pinkies death, it is still a kids show).
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