Description: When Twilight tells Fluttershy about moonflowers, the rarest of all flowers in Equestria, the Pegasus pony goes on a perilous journey to find them. But when she also encounters Luna, the mysterious Princess of the Moon, she discovers that some things are worth conquering your fears for.The Night Fluttershy Exploded
Google Docs Version
27 comments:
great story. but could have been better towards the end.
ReplyDeleteThat was surprising. I didn't think explode was actually going to be a reference to that!
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff, lol.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess a pony can explode; and then explode again, lol. :P
I'm almost scared to read the story just by the name.
ReplyDeleteI find it funny that there are folks who read the title and didn't see that, er, coming.
ReplyDeleteAlso, riveting tale, old chap.
@Pacce:
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, there's at least two possible figurative interpretations to the title. Although I have to admit the description hints very very insistently at the one that was actually used.
Anyway. I think that when writing sexual encounters, there is a VERY delicate line you have to walk as an author. You can of course just drop the curtain, imply a bit of music, and move on, but when the experience itself is part of the intended subject matter this is more or less an impossibility. And especially when dealing with My Little Pony, great care needs to be taken not to push the envelope beyond the point where all the magic seeps out and stains the ground a weird purple color. And at the same time, you can't be too timid, or else... what was the point of it all?
I think that roughly 90 times out of 100 it's a risk that isn't worth taking. You're either going to make people uncomfortable or attract the wrong sort of attention. And, I emphasize all this because in my opinion this is one of those other 10 times. You remained tasteful and artistic, communicating with strong dream imagery all of Fluttershy's experiences. The title and the ending dialog are very clever, as well. It's clear that a lot of care and effort went into this.
Continue writing, please.
any chance of a Docs version? don't have a DA account.
ReplyDeleteMy god this story is beautiful. I kinda loled at the "explosion" part.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best I've read in my opinion.
Here's a Luna and Fluttershy pic
ReplyDeletehttp://img231.imageshack.us/img231/2030/lunashyn1296201705605.png
It was based on this pic for the valentine's friendoff, if I recall correctly
This was very awesome. The end kind of ruined it though =/
ReplyDeleteI'm terrified, I don't want to see Fluttershy literally explode, but I don't want to see her figuratively explode, either.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI loved seeing her explode. :3
What you did there; I see it.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, It made me D'awwwwww. You also expertly handled the ermmmm... "explode" part. At first when you went there I sorta face palmed a little expecting to have the story take a turn for the worse, but once I got through it, and the story wasen't degraded, I only liked the story more. Though I warn you, if you wish to venture down this path again make sure to handle the subject very carefuly. Add too much and it gets wierd, but add to little and you feel kinda cheated and without the nice ending. Also make sure to go over for grammer and spelling. You had a few gramatical errors that sorta made me lose the moment. Other than that keep up with the good work brony.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments everyone.
ReplyDeleteAnd sorry for the grammar errors/typos. The damn story took forever to write (as opposed to Interventions which was knocked off in a day), and it was totally over-edited but under-proofed. I promise a re-write in the the future.
As for google docs, I'll set one up. Not everyone wants to join DA, after all, just to read stories of lesbian ponies.
Oh, hey; I commented on this already, but since I am a comment-friend, I will do it once more!
ReplyDeleteI found this story to be very light-hearted; adorable at first and then very humorous towards the end. Ponies must be very explosive, according to Fluttershy's new information from Twilight. Hope to see more from you soon, Butter!
Oh, and a bit off-topic, but I really do prefer Google Docs over deviantArt; docs allow you to view it without needing to sign up with Google and, when poeople actually talk in them, the chatsfor some stories can be quite entertaining. If you really need some traffic on your dA page, maybe you could request for there to be a link to your dA as well?
That was BEAUTIFUL, really. Also hot, and very well written. I think I'll read more of your stuff from now on.
ReplyDeleteConfound this butterscotch, always giving me an awkward boner with her(or his?) lesbian ponies.
ReplyDeleteWell that was ummm interesting, a little awkward though.
ReplyDeleteFirst FiM fic I read, and still one of my favs.
ReplyDeleteWhy am I not allowed access to the story?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHi anon,
Sorry - mature filter on DA. Please try my google docs here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1p492jOcdpeSTDCyLCFPJvUyB-xkgM__8rLGjuhXX4tk/edit?hl=en_GB&authkey=CKfZ_-4B
oh Luna
ReplyDeleteYou mischievous manipulative mare.....
@PhoeI was almost afraid of this story, but well, Phoe likes it. So, here it goes! :)
ReplyDeleteIsh there going to be a part 2?
ReplyDeleteU should totally make a part 2. I like your style of writing, very descriptive and creative
ReplyDeleteOh. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that kind of explosion. Well, there are still nice things to be said! I liked your style of writing, and you're pretty darn creative. You may have rushed it a bit, but I guess I shouldn't say much about that. Anyway, thumbs up! Oh, and I like this combo ;)
ReplyDelete